Need support! I don't want to run this time...
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by jayne on Tuesday, August 3, 2010 and has 17 replies.
Hi,
My BF has just recently become my fiance!! The thing is, I just can't shake this feeling to run. He's an Aries and loves me so much and treats me so well... but he comes across harsh sometimes in his speech (conceited even) because it's his nature, and it rubs me the wrong way. Is it normal to have the little voices like this? We've been dating for almost 3 years, and I keep being on the fence about him. I would like a mate who is able to be more gentle with me ALL of the time, but I really love him and want to make this work!
What should I do to keep my silly voices from telling me to run?
My BF has just recently become my fiance!! The thing is, I just can't shake this feeling to run. He's an Aries and loves me so much and treats me so well... but he comes across harsh sometimes in his speech (conceited even) because it's his nature, and it rubs me the wrong way. Is it normal to have the little voices like this? We've been dating for almost 3 years, and I keep being on the fence about him. I would like a mate who is able to be more gentle with me ALL of the time, but I really love him and want to make this work!
What should I do to keep my silly voices from telling me to run?
I should also note that he is a very sexual kind of guy, and I find that intimidating.
I guess you're a Pisces?
I had an Aries BF too, and also that little voice that said I should run. In the end I did. We tend to be clingy, but gosh he was smothering me to death! He had weird actions of dragging himself so down and put himself in the victimrole it was almost pathetic. When I said, don't play the victim he was yelling he was the guilty one, so I said, you're doing it again. It was draining.
It almost seemed he had 2 persnalities, which scared me. In a fight he would yell the most disgusting things on my expense and when I shut down, he came to apologize and said he wasn't thinking...well figure.
As a Pisces, when you have a gut feeling, you're almost everytime right. I've listened to my gutfeeling and went. After I was gone, I got my proof he wasn't the person I saw at the beginning unfortunately...
Doesn't mean it's the same with your Aries, but I never ever won't ignore my gutfeeling again.
I had an Aries BF too, and also that little voice that said I should run. In the end I did. We tend to be clingy, but gosh he was smothering me to death! He had weird actions of dragging himself so down and put himself in the victimrole it was almost pathetic. When I said, don't play the victim he was yelling he was the guilty one, so I said, you're doing it again. It was draining.
It almost seemed he had 2 persnalities, which scared me. In a fight he would yell the most disgusting things on my expense and when I shut down, he came to apologize and said he wasn't thinking...well figure.
As a Pisces, when you have a gut feeling, you're almost everytime right. I've listened to my gutfeeling and went. After I was gone, I got my proof he wasn't the person I saw at the beginning unfortunately...
Doesn't mean it's the same with your Aries, but I never ever won't ignore my gutfeeling again.
Yes, I am a pisces. 
I have listened to the voices - I have tried breaking up with him several times, but we always end up together again! It can be exhausting. He believes so strongly that we belong together, and I agree that, besides this core thing, we are a good match. I don't feel deep down like he is my 'soulmate,' which makes me worried and sad really, but I know he'll be a wonderful father. We haven't set a date yet - it only happened a few days ago.
And omg yes Pisces2202, he can be smothering! Literally sometimes, when he kisses me, when we make love. Not on purpose - he just gets excited. He's like a puppy. Sometimes I love it, but other times, it's just too much and makes me want to run away, so I pull away... and he pouts. I don't feel all weak in the knees when he kisses me every time like I used to. I think my brain is over-analyzing things. I need to be treated more gently, but he doesn't know what that means. Silly Aries. How do I explain it?
I have listened to the voices - I have tried breaking up with him several times, but we always end up together again! It can be exhausting. He believes so strongly that we belong together, and I agree that, besides this core thing, we are a good match. I don't feel deep down like he is my 'soulmate,' which makes me worried and sad really, but I know he'll be a wonderful father. We haven't set a date yet - it only happened a few days ago.
And omg yes Pisces2202, he can be smothering! Literally sometimes, when he kisses me, when we make love. Not on purpose - he just gets excited.
He's like a puppy. Sometimes I love it, but other times, it's just too much and makes me want to run away, so I pull away... and he pouts. I don't feel all weak in the knees when he kisses me every time like I used to. I think my brain is over-analyzing things. I need to be treated more gently, but he doesn't know what that means. Silly Aries. How do I explain it?The thing what went wrong with us, is when I asked him for some space, even literally, he would smother me some more. We tend to be clingy, but we also need our space to breath. I'd withdrawn myself from him. The direct approach didn't help, than I use the action and took myself away from it for a bit. But he was so stubborn and wouldn't let me go. After a fight when he called me a liar without any reason my love for him froze instantly, and I was done. Not typical for a Pisces, but I've learned to stand up for myself and sometimes to be selfish.
I understand that you feel dissappointed you don't feel he's your soulmate, but be cautious. We tend to have the ideal relationship in our mind, and no-one, and I mean no-one can live up to the standard of what we've created in our mind. If you would chase your ideal, you will be dissappointed over and over again. We have high standards, and we're perfectionistic. If you can live with the fact he isn't the soulmate, but a real good partner, and eventually a good father, than you have to embrace that.
I've learned to not have expectations from someone, and accept them who they are. Than I can't get dissappointed that they can't live up to my ideal standards in my mind, and I assure you, you can connect better with people around you if you let go of some of your fantasies
I understand that you feel dissappointed you don't feel he's your soulmate, but be cautious. We tend to have the ideal relationship in our mind, and no-one, and I mean no-one can live up to the standard of what we've created in our mind. If you would chase your ideal, you will be dissappointed over and over again. We have high standards, and we're perfectionistic. If you can live with the fact he isn't the soulmate, but a real good partner, and eventually a good father, than you have to embrace that.
I've learned to not have expectations from someone, and accept them who they are. Than I can't get dissappointed that they can't live up to my ideal standards in my mind, and I assure you, you can connect better with people around you if you let go of some of your fantasies
Posted by katica
he's not the one for you...
those little annoyances are the starting to the end...
you are tolerant for now, later you won't be...
true! if the gut feeling is speaking...it's the start of the end.
Well, I'm an Aries and the characteristics you're describing won't change in time. If he's'too much' for you then you will need to be strong and tell him now. Listen to that inner voice and ACT. I have Pisces in venus & rising & I know that voice. I made the mistake of staying too long; you don't want to make the mistake of getting married or having children before you find the courage to leave. And it'll be much harder then.
What you've described is intrinsic to our nature. Even though he'll be hurt now, in the long run, he'll find someone that appreciates his passion and you'll find the right fit for you. Unfortunately, you're gifted with a knowing wisdom that see's things more clearly than him so do yourselves both a favor and talk to him. It'll be best for the both of you
What you've described is intrinsic to our nature. Even though he'll be hurt now, in the long run, he'll find someone that appreciates his passion and you'll find the right fit for you. Unfortunately, you're gifted with a knowing wisdom that see's things more clearly than him so do yourselves both a favor and talk to him. It'll be best for the both of you
Posted by Pisces2202
The thing what went wrong with us, is when I asked him for some space, even literally, he would smother me some more. We tend to be clingy, but we also need our space to breath. I'd withdrawn myself from him. The direct approach didn't help, than I use the action and took myself away from it for a bit. But he was so stubborn and wouldn't let me go. After a fight when he called me a liar without any reason my love for him froze instantly, and I was done. Not typical for a Pisces, but I've learned to stand up for myself and sometimes to be selfish.
I understand that you feel dissappointed you don't feel he's your soulmate, but be cautious. We tend to have the ideal relationship in our mind, and no-one, and I mean no-one can live up to the standard of what we've created in our mind. If you would chase your ideal, you will be dissappointed over and over again. We have high standards, and we're perfectionistic. If you can live with the fact he isn't the soulmate, but a real good partner, and eventually a good father, than you have to embrace that.
I've learned to not have expectations from someone, and accept them who they are. Than I can't get dissappointed that they can't live up to my ideal standards in my mind, and I assure you, you can connect better with people around you if you let go of some of your fantasies
I find Aries men very smothering, they don't like you to move, it's not a good relationship. I literally hurt one's feelings because I snapped when I told him I never had a minute to myself. Everything changed after that.
I don't know if he's not the one for you or not, that's not my decision. But listen to your heart and decide whether you'd be okay to live with all those little annoyances, because in the end the person we end up with is the person we also can tolerate the most.
Why'd you get engaged?
That "silly voice" is your intuition trying to prevent you from making a huge mistake. Ignore it at your own peril.
Why on earth would you consider marrying someone you're having this many doubts about already? If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. The end.
As someone said, Aries isn't gonna change. "Gentle" just isn't their nature. They don't call them rams for nothing!
Why on earth would you consider marrying someone you're having this many doubts about already? If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. The end.
As someone said, Aries isn't gonna change. "Gentle" just isn't their nature. They don't call them rams for nothing!
Posted by Sea Siren
That "silly voice" is your intuition trying to prevent you from making a huge mistake. Ignore it at your own peril.
Why on earth would you consider marrying someone you're having this many doubts about already? If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. The end.
As someone said, Aries isn't gonna change. "Gentle" just isn't their nature. They don't call them rams for nothing!
Very true about listening to your intuition, ignoring it usually is to your peril not your good. Maybe you could take a break and see how you like life without him.
OK - I CAN'T STAND ARIES GUYS. I WISH THEY WOULD ALL GO AWAY.
But ... I have a "decent" understanding of the Pisces ...or TRY to.
And all positive or negative advice you read on here will be from
people who had YOUR sign-match situation .... and it will prompt
more NEGATIVE comments than good ...because those with the positive
comments won't be as PASSIONATE about posting.
Author Linda Goodman SHOWED ME the truth about Zodiac sign trends.
Before reading her book "Sun Signs" ( Buy it - seriously - cheap )
I never would have believed in Zodiac stuff.
CALL bookstores.
FIND one with Linda Goodman's "LOVE SIGNS"
( a different book than "Sun Signs" ...which you should BUY )
READ the THREE PAGES "Aries Man - Pisces Woman" - around page 165
You will see that the stars may be shining brightly for you.
You just need to know what part of the sky to look at.
Perhaps you are looking at the cloudy part
and behind you it is clear.
Hard to tell in the dark.
This book will shed light.
Nah but if I get married you can be my second husband. I've always wanted to be a polygamist.
Posted by Mistery
Well, I'm an Aries and the characteristics you're describing won't change in time. If he's'too much' for you then you will need to be strong and tell him now. Listen to that inner voice and ACT. I have Pisces in venus & rising & I know that voice. I made the mistake of staying too long; you don't want to make the mistake of getting married or having children before you find the courage to leave. And it'll be much harder then.
What you've described is intrinsic to our nature. Even though he'll be hurt now, in the long run, he'll find someone that appreciates his passion and you'll find the right fit for you. Unfortunately, you're gifted with a knowing wisdom that see's things more clearly than him so do yourselves both a favor and talk to him. It'll be best for the both of you
Wow, I so agree with this. I actually agree with a number of things already said. I hate to give such serious advice to someone I don't know so I will just give you my experience. My children's father was an Aries and he thought the world revolved around me which was sweet b/c we were so young. I became pregnant at 17 and had our daughter at 18. He was already a hard core drinker and did some drugs. He was a "victim" a lot and would get into these crazy morose moods and it could be quite scary. He would also become abrasive and I was just too sensitive for him. It was not just him being Aries I should say b/c he also became an alcoholic and drug addict which led to criminal acts so it was a bit more extreme in my case. We just couldn't really communicate though and still tried to stay together despite and ended up even having a son together. It wasn't a good match though for sure.
My son is an Aries and we do get along amazingly well in a mother/son relationship but I can tell you that even seeing his characteristics that I do not want to be with an Aries man in a romantic relationship.
Continued....
You have to make that call and it's a hard call to make. I will share something else and that is about my last marriage to a Scorpio. I didn't listen to my gut feeling and intuition when it was telling me not to marry him and I went through with it anyways. I was very miserable in our marriage and it started within the first year! I stayed married to him for 5 and it was NOT GOOD! I wish I had listened to myself and a few friends that tried to share with me that it wasn't a good match. I felt I would've saved us both a lot of heartache and time had I been honest with myself and him and broke it off. I hope you have someone close that you can talk with about it who knows the two of you and your situation.
Good luck.
You have to make that call and it's a hard call to make. I will share something else and that is about my last marriage to a Scorpio. I didn't listen to my gut feeling and intuition when it was telling me not to marry him and I went through with it anyways. I was very miserable in our marriage and it started within the first year! I stayed married to him for 5 and it was NOT GOOD! I wish I had listened to myself and a few friends that tried to share with me that it wasn't a good match. I felt I would've saved us both a lot of heartache and time had I been honest with myself and him and broke it off. I hope you have someone close that you can talk with about it who knows the two of you and your situation.
Good luck.
Let's see .. a couple people told you what ailment you have .. a couple people thought you were talking about them so they began to talk about themselves and how they feel about Aries, and a couple showed thier shock that you dare to mistrust your intuition and even asked.
The voices aren't silly .. however, you thinking they are is why you cannot come down off your fence.
"I have tried breaking up with him several times, but we always end up together again!"
Now that ^^^^^^^ is silly.
If you are engaged with a man to whom your Piscean intuition is telling you to swim, and yet, you've made a promise to him of marriage .. then running is out of the question now. Running is what you should have done BEFORE you said, "Oh, yes, yes, baby, I will marry you".
What you are suppose to do now is tell him that you want to be engaged for 5 to 8 years, while you think about this ... that will get the attention you seek from him.
"I have tried breaking up with him several times, but we always end up together again!"
Now that ^^^^^^^ is silly.
If you are engaged with a man to whom your Piscean intuition is telling you to swim, and yet, you've made a promise to him of marriage .. then running is out of the question now. Running is what you should have done BEFORE you said, "Oh, yes, yes, baby, I will marry you".
What you are suppose to do now is tell him that you want to be engaged for 5 to 8 years, while you think about this ... that will get the attention you seek from him.
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