need to vent about this damned pisces in my life

Argh! I'm so frustrated and so very confused. My pisces is driving me crazy and I have no idea what to do with all of this.

So we met in February, had a brief affair while he was in town (3 days), and we've been in touch via online chat and video consistently since.

Of course I had developed all sorts of romantic notions towards the man and spent three months (early February - early May) enjoying our conversations and tentatively nurturing all of my little fantasies. About two weeks ago we had a conversation where I directly asked him about the last time he had sex. He said, "6 days ago," and I thought to myself, "Right. Time for me to shelve those little dreams of mine and get back in the game." I met someone new that same night and started exploring all of the things I've wanted to try sexually but never had the courage to actually do.

Yesterday Mr. Pisces and I talked again for the first time in two weeks and I told him about my attempts to give swinging (yes, the sexual kind, not the playground kind) a try. He then started in about how he's always wanted to try that and we talked and talked and talked. We ended the conversation because he had to meet some friends and promised to email me once he got back for the evening so we could compare notes with how we did that night.

Lo and behold, he actually does email me back (he's promised me this before and never done it).

We start chatting this morning and I comment that he's up early (he's on the west coast and it was an early hour to be awake after a night out until 2am). He said that his body clock was off, but that he also wanted to be awake to talk with me.

That's new, too. He's never actually come out and said that he's gotten up specifically to talk with me.

Then we begin to talk about what we're interested in sexually (completely intellectual, not the sort of precursor to online sex type conversation). I ask him to tell me what he's been up to because he says he's becoming increasingly adventurous. Before responding with the details, he then asks "am I kinky enough for you?"

I know I'm going on and on in circles about this stupid series of conversations, but I'm at a complete and total loss here. Mr. Pisces is starting to behave completely differently from the norm - talking about how he'd like to see me, expressing some vulnerability, making plans for the future, etc. - and I have no idea what brought it on or what to do with it.

Help!!!!

Hi v-lady .. sorry to hear about this man giving you a fit.

Thanks PA! I'm looking at it as karma. Your virgo makes you crazy. Now I've got a pisces making me crazy.

Pisces people make me crazy, too .. hell, everybody makes me crazy, lol

I was born crazy 😉

Luckily, I happen to view "crazy" as a prerequisite to friendship. If you're not crazy, we can't be friends - the rule I live by.

And it's ok to vent off steam, v-lady. Sometimes, people have to vent off the bad in order to clear room inside for the good to emerge.

What is the Karma you meant?

I'm not so sure karma is what people believe it to be .. or at least, so cut and dry.

Sometimes, people send out things subconsciously .. not all karma is controlled.

I get what you're saying about the nature of karma. I understand how it's more of an energy than the clear good/bad.

In this context, though, I was just joking.

Then again, I have been feeling miraculously good about myself lately. Maybe Mr. Pisces is picking up on this renewed sense of dignity.

Agreed, at least with the men .. it's all or nothing.

A big caveat to begin with... I've been doing my thing and feeling good and I'm going to keep that up regardless of what Mr. Pisces thinks about it. This isn't about me trying to change myself to suit his needs, but rather an attempt on my part to understand where he's coming from.

What do you think precipitated the change?

Do pisces act out of jealousy? Did he somehow sense that I was no longer putting my emotional eggs in one basket?

Alternatively, was it that I was really open with him about where I'm at and, because he seems to be in the same place, he's being pulled towards that?

I can't begin to say what a difference this past two days has been in comparison to the past two months. It seems that all the eagerness he started our "relationship" with is back and I can't grasp what's behind it all.

Thanks for all of your insight, dc.

I'm reluctant to get my hopes up and I'm just going to continue on the same path and see where it takes me.

If you're right, dc, and this is a sign that he's trying to secure his position, it is something I'm happy about. At least I think I am. Damn, who knows.

Can you say this about pisces men in general... that they only want to get closer once the object of their affection starts pulling away?

I've been doing a lot of thinking about and working on my own control issues, so (now that I'm over being stunned) I'm looking at this a way to really do what's right for me. I find that I'm at my most controlling when I feel the worst about myself. When I feel good about who I am and where I'm at, I'm more capable of distinguishing between what I can and can't control. Almost as important is this confidence that I can actually handle those things I can control. I feel like I'm looking at a new world at times with this sort of internal growth.

So I guess my test here is whether or not I can remind myself that I have the inner resources to keep on going as I have been. It takes a leap of faith - to allow life to unfold as life does - that I'm not used to but which seems to be working for me.

"I find that I'm at my most controlling when I feel the worst about myself. When I feel good about who I am and where I'm at, I'm more capable of distinguishing between what I can and can't control."

You have control all the time, no matter how you feel about yourself, it's just harder to see, is all. This is mainly due to most of what has control over us is on the subconscious level and has nothing to do with a trained "thought". The secret is finding what is on the subconscious level that is prevents the person from actually making a conscious change. It's not so cut and dry ..

For example, v-lady, with me, I have a PDD that I've lived with since birth and this has formed within my psyche, my personality. So, because it's a personality disorder, I have little control over it on the conscious level. It's built within me in a depth I have no awareness of .. so, for me, it works backwards .. I have to meditate and pull from a plane that I cannot grasp in a lucid state and pull it outward.

Control is tricky thing .. first you have to find out from where it comes.

Wow, PA. That's really powerful stuff.

I've actually always been a bit in awe of meditation. It's amazing how much you can learn about yourself when you're approaching it with a quiet mind.

My Virgo husband loves to lay in bed and watch the cieling fan. He'll clear his mind of all thoughts and just use his visual senses of the blades turning, until he gets to the point where he can't even see the blades any longer or anything else .. he's completely within his subconscious, yet, fully awake. It's cool.

You know, v-lady .. you really don't have anything to gain control over. Or, at least, it doesn't sound like it from your post here. There's a difference between someone needing to gain perspective and gain control .. and just venting off emotions. It sounds to me as though you just needed to let some of the pressure off by talking about it. I'll bet you feel better now just from letting it out, regardless of what anybody actually said to you.

Emotions just seem so intense sometimes and they boil inside .. once we let them out, all seems so easy to figure out. What was all jumbled up inside now has clarity and it was just you needed to get it out .. it doesn't sound to me as though you have any issues where your perspective is altered wrongly.

You're just human and needed to talk. You didn't need any advice, just an ear 🙂