No Harm Done.
This topic was created in the Pisces forum by Dreamy-Eyez on Monday, March 12, 2007 and has 7 replies.
Hey Ya'll,
This is some world we live in, huh? Well, you all are aware of my sexuality, right? I'm the neighborhood gay dude on DXP.net. Anyway, I came out to one of my Army buddies, who basically stayed in touch with me eversince I left the Army. He responded by saying that he knew that I was keeping it to myself back then, and it did caused him to say bad things about me and feel negative towards me. Now, that upsetted me because I never gotten the hint that he did those things nor felt that way towards me. Not only am I upset, but I'm puzzled because he was always the one singing about friendship when saying bad things about a person behind their back says otherwise. When I'm around heterosexual men, I respect them by not pushing my sexuality upon them, especially my friends. I'm not some kind of predator who wants to jump males and violate them. I always try to let people understand that. (Sigh.) I don't know, I guess I'm in a no win position. -Dreamy-Eyez,out.-
This is some world we live in, huh? Well, you all are aware of my sexuality, right? I'm the neighborhood gay dude on DXP.net. Anyway, I came out to one of my Army buddies, who basically stayed in touch with me eversince I left the Army. He responded by saying that he knew that I was keeping it to myself back then, and it did caused him to say bad things about me and feel negative towards me. Now, that upsetted me because I never gotten the hint that he did those things nor felt that way towards me. Not only am I upset, but I'm puzzled because he was always the one singing about friendship when saying bad things about a person behind their back says otherwise. When I'm around heterosexual men, I respect them by not pushing my sexuality upon them, especially my friends. I'm not some kind of predator who wants to jump males and violate them. I always try to let people understand that. (Sigh.) I don't know, I guess I'm in a no win position. -Dreamy-Eyez,out.-
"it did caused him to say bad things about me and feel negative towards me .. I never gotten the hint that he did those things nor felt that way towards me .. I'm puzzled because he was always the one singing about friendship"
DE .. In my belief system, I don't think that most people understand homosexuality for what it really is and because of this mis-conception, these people don't know how to handle their own feelings on the subect and subsequently .. the gay person takes a punch when it isn't warranted .. we are human, that is forgotten in this scenerio.
These people think SEX .. and that's all .. that is the problem.
When two straight people love each other .. it's not SEX .. it's the heart .. sex is simply an expression of the heart.
Sounds to me as though your old Army buddy is one of these confused individuals who has forgotten to comprehend that you're a person first .. you will express yourself according to HOW you love, not who you love. This confusion is evident in these people and your friend is among them .. he wants to be your friend, he likes to be your friend, he endeared himself to you for the person you are ..
He's not understanding like many others .. the reason why he likes you is because your a good person .. expression of love has nothing to do with him and the friend you are to him .. it has to do with YOU and how you love inside .. and that scares him because he cannot understand how he could WANT to be friends with a homosexual .. I mean, what would the neighbors think? This social stigma is dispicable from my perspective .. it matters not how we need to express our love .. what matters .. is that we do.
It's unfortunate that you have to endure this, for it isn't deserved, simply because your expression of love is different from another .. we're all different. Rest assured that not everybody is this confused .. I know that doesn't help because this man is suppose to be your friend and there isn't anything anybody else can say to ease that pain .. except maybe to know that there are people who comprehend that everybody in this life are just people first, and foremost.
DE .. In my belief system, I don't think that most people understand homosexuality for what it really is and because of this mis-conception, these people don't know how to handle their own feelings on the subect and subsequently .. the gay person takes a punch when it isn't warranted .. we are human, that is forgotten in this scenerio.
These people think SEX .. and that's all .. that is the problem.
When two straight people love each other .. it's not SEX .. it's the heart .. sex is simply an expression of the heart.
Sounds to me as though your old Army buddy is one of these confused individuals who has forgotten to comprehend that you're a person first .. you will express yourself according to HOW you love, not who you love. This confusion is evident in these people and your friend is among them .. he wants to be your friend, he likes to be your friend, he endeared himself to you for the person you are ..
He's not understanding like many others .. the reason why he likes you is because your a good person .. expression of love has nothing to do with him and the friend you are to him .. it has to do with YOU and how you love inside .. and that scares him because he cannot understand how he could WANT to be friends with a homosexual .. I mean, what would the neighbors think? This social stigma is dispicable from my perspective .. it matters not how we need to express our love .. what matters .. is that we do.
It's unfortunate that you have to endure this, for it isn't deserved, simply because your expression of love is different from another .. we're all different. Rest assured that not everybody is this confused .. I know that doesn't help because this man is suppose to be your friend and there isn't anything anybody else can say to ease that pain .. except maybe to know that there are people who comprehend that everybody in this life are just people first, and foremost.
I don't have a problem with homosexuals except the ones who come on to heteros. And one question why do homosexuals have that weird accent I would say meh probably just me. But anyway people don't speak the truth cause they don't want to hurt someone but when they do tell the truth sometimes to person it's to doesn't want to accept it and they get mad.
Hey Dreamy-Eyez,
It seems what people don't understand, they either fear or their perceptions become gravely altered for whatever reasons. i could never understand others stereotypes anyway, especially in this day and age. We are very liberal here in Canada and most would think nothing of it. Live and let live, and a friend shall always be a friend first and foremost. Now let's get on with life. Really the rest is nobody's business. i feel for you, because you've invested in your friendship with your army buddy, and saw things quite differently than him. It's no wonder you're angered and puzzled. Even if he was confused, he should have quietly kept things to himself and showed some discretion, until he could talk more with you, later. That's what friends do.. Anything else is very disloyal and disrespectful. His confusions are no excuse for talking badly behind your back. Life can be confusing enough, and there are just too many wonderful, understanding people out there, with real character and integrity, and who will know the true meaning of friendship, loyalty and trust, before anything else. Only you will know how much damage is done, and if there is anything left worth salvaging. Just keep the faith, stay true to yourself first and foremost, as you are doing; everyone else has that right. And those that don't understand arn't worth your time or dime anyway...*good luck..
It seems what people don't understand, they either fear or their perceptions become gravely altered for whatever reasons. i could never understand others stereotypes anyway, especially in this day and age. We are very liberal here in Canada and most would think nothing of it. Live and let live, and a friend shall always be a friend first and foremost. Now let's get on with life. Really the rest is nobody's business. i feel for you, because you've invested in your friendship with your army buddy, and saw things quite differently than him. It's no wonder you're angered and puzzled. Even if he was confused, he should have quietly kept things to himself and showed some discretion, until he could talk more with you, later. That's what friends do.. Anything else is very disloyal and disrespectful. His confusions are no excuse for talking badly behind your back. Life can be confusing enough, and there are just too many wonderful, understanding people out there, with real character and integrity, and who will know the true meaning of friendship, loyalty and trust, before anything else. Only you will know how much damage is done, and if there is anything left worth salvaging. Just keep the faith, stay true to yourself first and foremost, as you are doing; everyone else has that right. And those that don't understand arn't worth your time or dime anyway...*good luck..
It appears to me, with people in my world .. most are very open-minded about other people's sexuality and really don't care if someone is gay, or not .. that is, people who are accepting of themselves .. it seems that the only ones I know who are homophobic, or get down-right nasty towards others who are .. are actually people who have gay thoughts, but, are too afrraid to admit them.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard a male friend say something really derogatory and then catch him eye-balling another man walking down the street when he thinks nobody is paying attention with lustful eyes.
Seriously, I think when people have this attitude .. they are really afraid of their own feelings of desire.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard a male friend say something really derogatory and then catch him eye-balling another man walking down the street when he thinks nobody is paying attention with lustful eyes.
Seriously, I think when people have this attitude .. they are really afraid of their own feelings of desire.
Hey Everyone,
I guess this is just the beginning for me. I've just turned 26 years old and so far I have been living my life with walls built around me. That's really not how I want to live the rest of my life and slowly I'm chipping down those walls slowly. Some of my friends know, because I've told them. As for the friends who I haven't told. . . I'm just worried about their reaction. Currently, my Sagittarius buddy and I have developed a friendship. I never saw this coming and now I have to worry about coming out all over again with the same fears from a different face. I know he senses the walls that I have built around me, because I often shy away when he gets personal and I counter it with a lighthearted persona to shrug off the heavy stuff. He's going to figure it out sooner or later. I'm currently, thinking about telling my mother and my sister. She senses that there is something that I want to tell her. I'm just so fearful of it all.
-Dreamy-Eyez,out-
I guess this is just the beginning for me. I've just turned 26 years old and so far I have been living my life with walls built around me. That's really not how I want to live the rest of my life and slowly I'm chipping down those walls slowly. Some of my friends know, because I've told them. As for the friends who I haven't told. . . I'm just worried about their reaction. Currently, my Sagittarius buddy and I have developed a friendship. I never saw this coming and now I have to worry about coming out all over again with the same fears from a different face. I know he senses the walls that I have built around me, because I often shy away when he gets personal and I counter it with a lighthearted persona to shrug off the heavy stuff. He's going to figure it out sooner or later. I'm currently, thinking about telling my mother and my sister. She senses that there is something that I want to tell her. I'm just so fearful of it all.
-Dreamy-Eyez,out-
Don't be afraid to be who you are ..
DE, my son is 25 years old, and if he came out to me tomarrow .. I would love him more because I would know that he was finally allowing himself to be free to live and love the way he needs to to feel complete within himself.
Your mother will not forsake you .. her love for her son will help to set you free.
DE, my son is 25 years old, and if he came out to me tomarrow .. I would love him more because I would know that he was finally allowing himself to be free to live and love the way he needs to to feel complete within himself.
Your mother will not forsake you .. her love for her son will help to set you free.
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