Pisces guy confusing me help!!!

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by aqua-baby on Saturday, January 10, 2009 and has 54 replies.
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I was just after a lil help and I was wondering if you could help me out!
Okay I was with this Pisces guy about 10 years ago, I was 18 and he was 21 at the time. Everything was great and and sweet until I fell pregnant, unfortunately at the time due to family pressure I did not go through with the pregnancy. My Pisces guy was very very hurt as he wanted us to have the child but at the time I just couldn't! A month later he ended the relationship because of my actions I was devastated and it took me about a year to get over him fully.
Okay rewind to 9 years later and I Bumped into him. I was with someone at the time, but my heart was racing when I saw him.. I just about managed to say hello lol!!!
Anyway I ended my last relationship due to multiple reasons and in between this time my ex (Pisces) guy got in touch. We still get on really well, however he keeps refering to the sex life that we had and he would like to have that again! The thing is I would like a relationship along with this, but I am finding it very hard to read him at the moment.. I told him that if we do go back then I know for a fact that old feeling will pop up... he says he fully understands that. We speak all the time and I can feel myself starting to full for him again. We have the same wants out of life and I know we would be great together but the messages I get is that he maybe emotionally unavailable at the moment..... do I be honest with him or just wait for him to mention something. I know I have been really honest in this post but it would be nice to get straight opinions from people Thanks xx
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Thanks Gemgal... He asked me round to watch a dvd and just to chill, I said I know this is stupid but im nervous! He just laughed and said around me? but said if I change my mind just let him know... haven't heard from him and im climbing the walls! I will talk to him and see what happens x
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Do not give him sex. If he wants something, hes got to start all over from the beginning. I would be careful before you invest more emotionally into him. If all he wants is sex, than this will never work out. And please do not make the same mistake as before. You were young then, but you are an adult now. Take care of yourself.
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Thanx for the advice X I dont want it to be just about that as I have never been in anything like that before and I know it just wont work for me. I would also never go through what I went through when I was 18.... he asked me when do I want to become a mum and I just said when it is the right time and with the right person. I'll let you know how I get on x x
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When do you want to become a mom? What kind of question is that? You aren't even engaged or married yet. That's kind of inappropriate to ask. He seems very psyched about making sure he becomes a sperm donor and producing his own little mini-me.
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Sorry I didn't put that right... my brothers girlfriend has just become a mum and we were discussing it and he said that when will I be making my brother an uncle, so I said that when the time is right and with the right person, he said he totally agrees and would like to become a father too but he would like to be married as he see that as the only the right way. Sorry about that!
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Okay I will x Thanx
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I have some different views then the other responders.
It appears to me that you are perfectly aware that he isn't going to emotionally invest at this time, while wanting to have sex ... and I don't see anything in your post that is making the indication that you dont' want to have sex with him ... I can only see where you said it would be nice to have a relationship along with it.
If you can have a lover, and this is acceptable to both adults, then I don't see a problem with that.
As well as .. he doesn't see a problem with you having feelings for him if the two of you shag ...
"that old feeling will pop up... he says he fully understands that"

So, none of your ponderings above this copied quote do I recognize a problem. Two people were crazy about each other, due to unfortunate circumstances, these two people had to part, eventhough they were still crazy about each other, time passes, they meet up again and with this encountering they each have memories of this coupling that they want to check out again to see if feelings are still there.
What's the problem with that?
Intimately, tucked safely in the residue of each others rapture, is the only place you two are going to find out if anything is there. To think that you should withhold the kitty for purposes of gaining some kind of compatibility, respect, or whatever this gain is suppose to be isn't applicable in this situation. To use that tatic of withholding sex should only be in place if you have suspicion that the one your crushing on might be a chauvinistic, or disrepectful or a player, or summat. In this situation .. you two already know the chemistry is there so strongly that at the point of re-connection ... you both drop everything else, to stare at each other.
What does withholding sex have anythign to do with this man and you, with an intention of trying to find out what kind of people you two are first .... he impregnanted you, for fucks sake .. I think it would safe to assume that you two are sexually familiar with each other at this point .... so, what's the point in playing hard to get?

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The only problem I see in here is when you said ...
"he maybe emotionally unavailable at the moment..... do I be honest with him or just wait for him to mention something."
If you know that at this time he may be having some issues with emotionally investing, for whatever reasons, then if you approach him with an emotional outpour .. he will likely see this as baggage.

You know ... obviously, you are wanting this man to try a relationship with you again, this time, on a more mature level ... a level where it might even go somewhere. So, be patient, if you cannot read him at this time ... wait until his feelings catch up. The last thing you want to do is push him away, or frighten him.
Quite Frankly, this is something I truly don't understand in women, eventhough I am one ... if we women know that a man is cautious of women who are too emotionally suffocating, and as we know this we are also doing it anyway to the man ..... then we come in here and cry that the guy bailed because we smothered them.
wtf?

Wait for him emotionally to catch up ... for you to say that at this moment you cannot read him, is a backwards way of saying under different circumstances you have the ability to read him. So, wait untiil you can read him.

And I'd be willing to wager that he'll show his vulnerable side to you for reading while relishing in the ecstasy of his lovers embrace.
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^^Or he'll totally use you for sex knowing what you really want.
Things could go either way.

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That phrase is actually foriegn to me .. emotionally unavailable.

When in love, or care is present ... emotion is all there is.
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Not at all Ian.
But we cannot base everything on signs. PEOPLE will do whatever they feel.
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I don't believe it has been expressed in here ... what she really wants.
What does appear obvious to me is that she is uncertain of what she really wants, which if she's giving him the same signals as she is in here .... then it's doubtful that he knows what she really wants.
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I've yet to meet a Piscean male who takes a women purely for sexual pleasure without having some kind of feelings for her.
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I know quite a few female Fish though, who are sluts, I must say. Sad

That's not good ... the men of our kind are morally better, I guess.
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Thank you for for all your replies. I really do like this guy a lot.. even though its been 10 years he has always been in my heart and when I see if my heart and knees just go. I haven't expressed to him how I feel, so your proabably right he doesn't know. If I was to get with him I wouldn't want it to be based on just sex because that is not for me, although he does always bring it up Im not too sure thats all he wants from me. I will speak and meet up with him and see how it goes. I will come back with an update x x x x
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Hi Ashleysagstar - hope you are well. I know I cut him very deeply, we have briefly spoken about it he has said that I broke his heart so I can imagine that he is very wary now. I am extreamly guarded too especially after what I have been through in the last couple of months (see your inbox!!!). I thought that I would never ever want to be with anyone again! but with him I am willing to take that risk.
Im just going to talk to him when the time is right I will have a talk with him.
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I was merely pointing out the other side.
She must be aware of all chances, if someone had exposed the side I stated first. I would have stated the more optimistic side.
"i knew that your response was going to be no..
"But we cannot base everything on signs. PEOPLE will do whatever they feel.""
Regardless of its generic branding it stands true.

I have known pisces men to use women for sex, but I've noticed they tend to have a conscience about it though, but when its all said and done the damage has already been done.
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All aqua-baby can do is make the best decision for herself.
If just sex is not what she wants or can handle, then she should be sure to get EXACTLY what she wants if not from the pisces man then from someone who can.
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"WE" cant give them anything because first and foremost, Ian...you arent a man!
nor are the others who go about their lives as takers and fakers/users and abusers!
so really you should USE your real identifying label:
SCUMBAG!
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AND SCUMBAG FOR THE RECORScared YOU EVER CUT MY BRAKE LINES ON MY CAR AND I WILL CUT YOUR
DICK OFF AND STUFF IT IN YOUR MOUTH! IT PROBABLY WONT KILL YOU BECAUSE ITS SO SMALL.
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"i think most of the time when women get "used" for sex they are looking for something that men cant give them.. we cant give it to them because its something inside the woman that is damaged"

I absolutely agree with that. We see many cases where the woman jumps from one bed to another, and is terribly upset that each one of the encounters didn't turn into something of substance AND the women are upset because the guy wasn't respectful to her.
She's looking to be rescued, to be saved from whatever has broken her and tries to do so by means of gaining a man's attentin through sexuality .... and seriously, this only perpetuates the issue because the man will have zero respect for her.

::: sighs :::

How to get a women to see this truth ... I don't know. It's sad, reallly.
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MAYBE OLD UNCLE JOHNNY WASNT SCREWING HE NEICE ..PERHAPS IT WAS HIS DAUGTER.
THAT WOULD BE MORE LIKE IT.
AT ANYRATE, THE WHOLE FAMILY IS SICK INBREDS!
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AND THE THINGS HE SAID ABOUT THE "EX-WIFE" TALK ABOUT NASTY. HE SAID SOME PRETTY
NASTY THINGS ABOUT HER. AFTER ALL, SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN. HAVE SOME
RESPECT.
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I UNDERSTAND HE HAS MENTAL PROBLEMS. THATS OBVIOUS AND HE ISNT CAPABLE OF
LEAVING OR GOING IT ALONE...BUT WHY CONTINUE WITH THE SAME CHARADE. HIS WIFE THINKING
THAT THEY WERE A "FAMILY" AND HES OUT LITERALLY SCREWING OTHER WOMEN AND HIS OWN
DAUGHTERS AND FAMILY MEMBERS AND CALLING HER EVERY DISGUSTING NAME IN THE BOOK. BIDING
HIS TIME TO DUCK OUT WITH AS MUCH OF THE LOOT AS HE COULD.
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AS WHATS HER NAME SAYS, "ITS A SHAME THIS WOMAN COULDNT SEE THE TRUTH."
IF MY FORMER MATE EVER TALKED LIKE THAT ABOUT ME...I WOULD BE DEVESTATED.
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BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SCUM
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YES, HOLD YOUR SHAKING HEAD AND HEAVY SIGHS....THERE IS ALOT MORE TO COME!
MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE LIVED THEIR LIFE AND NOT TURNED IT OVER ON A SILVER PLATER AT FIRST MAN AT SUCH A TENDER AGE OF
24 TO BECOME A BREEDING HEFFER. TALK ABOUT PLAYING SOMEONE.
THIS GUY GOES AROUND AND GETS WOMEN PREGNANT SO HE CAN MAINTAIN ACCESS TO THEIR LIVES.
HE SAID IF ANY OF THEM TRY AND LEAVE HIM...HE WILL KNOCK THEM UP.
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Pisces boy-Aquarius girl...You should be pulling your hair out by now
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HE EVEN TOLD ME HE WAS IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTER ON STAR TREK. I SAID TO HIM
SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE YOU. HE SAID IF I GOT HER PREGNANT WITH 20 KIDS THAN SHE COULDNT
LEAVE ME.
THIS GUY HAS KIDS ALL OVER THE PLACE. THE REASON HE MAINTAINS A HOME WITH THIS OTHER
ONE IS BECAUSE IT REALLY BELONGS TO HER. HER DADDY BOUGHT THE HOUSE AND SHE HAS MORE
MONEY BUT THAT NEVER STOPPED HIM FROM CHEATING AND CARRYING ON MULTIPLE FAMILIES.
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YOU ENJOY GOSSIP DONT YOU!
GOSSIP IS EVIL. YOU CANT GET ENOUGH OF IT CAN YOU?
LOOK TO YOUR OWN FAMILY IF YOU WANT SOME DIRT. YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY. YOU JUST
WONT FACE IT. YOU DONT HAVE A FAMILY...YOU HAVE A CHARADE. ITS FAKE. LIKE YOU.
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Who let Suvant out of her prison?
Why dxp, why, oh why .. did you let suvant come back?
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For those wondering, I'm talking about hothouselilies ... she is known here as Suvant .. and was banned for totally humiliating a sweet and beautiful Aquarian lady named Alana, by means of insulting her challenged son.

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thanks hizaki but im fine.
i just find most of these people amusing. especially one broad that needs to take the
log out of her own eye before trying to remove specks from others. she mentions self
respect quite alot when in fact she has none for herself. then you have these "men"
aka: scumbags who try to chime in with there advice. well, thats good if you want to
to warn people what they are getting into before they get into it. why dont you tell people what you are and then they dont have to suffer your evilness.
your may not be obligated to disclose who you are but morally or ethically that kind of
omissions are not fair. you dont have the persons best intrests in mind. you are only
thinking about yourself. you shouldnt not be dating. you are not dating material. go
to hooker or bars or agree upon an arrangement like whats her name does with her virgo
husband. honesty is always better.
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We love you Alana, and always will ..... we do want you to come back smile
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a person can not be humiliated unless what is being said has truth to it.
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AND ITS BECOME STANDARD PRACTICE IN THE WORLD TODAY ..MEDIA AND PRINT AND THESE FORUMS
TO BAN THE PEOPLE THAT SPEAK THE TRUTH. IF YOU ARE BANNED, ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID
OF THE TRUTH AND CANT STAND IT.
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ITS ALL ABOUT CRONYISM AND THAT GOES ON HERE TOO. ITS NOT WHO YOU ARE ITS WHO YOU KNOW.
WHO YOU SUCK UP TO.

EVEN IN THE SMALLEST MOST
BENINE AND UNIMPORTANT OF PLACES/PEOPLE. IT ROLLS STRAIGHT TO THE GUTTER.
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AND WHATS HER NAME PROVES MY POINT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. SHE WILL START THIS SAME
CRAP WITH ANYONE WHO SPEAKS THE TRUTH. SHE WILL START RUNNING IP NUMBERS AND GETTING
ACCESS TO ANY SHRED OF GOSSIP AND HERESAY SHE CAN GET HER GRUBBY FAT SWOLLEN FINGERS
ON AND THEN SEND IT BACK OVER THE NET FOR ANYONE WIHT NOTHING BETTER TO DO AND GIVES
A CRAP WHAT THIS BROAD WITH NO SELF RESPECT OF LIFE HAS TO SAY. I THINK ONLY HER FAMILY
THAT FEEL SORRY FOR HER C0ME ON HERE AND SUPPORT HER OCCASSIONALLY AND THATS BECAUSE SHE
PAYS THEM!
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I ALSO KNOW THAT WHATS HER NAME AND HER HEATHENS WERE SCAMMING ACORN. THEY MADE A
DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO THROW THE NOMINATION AND THE ELECTION.
ACORN IS THE
GROUP THAT WAS IN TROUBLE, SUPPOSEDLY, FOR FALESFYING VOTER REGISTRATIONS. IT WAS
WHATS HER NAME AND THE REPUBLICANS THAT GOT THAT STORY MOVING. THEY INFILTRATED ACORN AND THEY WERE THE ONES FALSEFYING FORMS AND BLAMING IT ON THE DEMS.
THEY WERE ATTEMPTING
AN OLD- AS- HER UNDERPANTS, THAT HAVENT BEEN TAKEN OFF IN A DECADE, ATTEMPT AT SUBVERSIVE
MANPULATION OF THE PROCESS. IT DIDNT FLY AND ONCE AGAIN....YOU CANT FOOL ANYONE!
HOPEUFLLY THE GOVERNMENT WILL GET WISE TO ALL THESE GOLD BRICKERS WHO GET PAID FOR DOING
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND GET RID OF THEM. WHAT A WASTE OF US TAX PAYERS MONEY.
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AND I AM GOING TO BE BUSY WRITING LETTERS TO THIS AFFECT!
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ALANA IS BACK. SHE NEVER LEFT. SHE JUST HIDES UNDER ASSUMED IDENTITY AND THINKS
SHE IS FOOLING PEOPLE. THAT CAN BE DONE TO WHATS HER NAME BUT NO MOST PEOPLE.
WHATS HER NAME WAS BORN RETARDED AND IS THE SISTER OF SARA PALIN. NOTHING IS GOING
TO CHANGE THAT DNA
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THEY BOTH RODE IN ON MOOSE AND THEY WONT BE LEAVING ANYTIME SOON. UNFORTUNATELY.
NOT UNTIL THEIR SADDLE SORES, FROM THE CHAFFING OF THEIR SIZE 13 COTTON BRIEFS, HEAL UP; AND HAVING TO
RIDE ALL THE WAY FROM ALASKA TO VIRGINIA AND OTHER PARTS ITS GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME.
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ITS ALL ABOUT THE UNDEWEAR! NEXT TIME RIDE IN SILK! BUT THEN YOU CANT USE THEM
FOR PARACHUTES WHEN YOU FLY IN TO DO YOUR NEXT BIG ACORN MISSION.
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UGH, GAWD CAN YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE CIVIL SERVENTS LIKE THESE PEOPLE. SHUTTER.
NO WONDER THIS COUNTRY IS IN THE CRAPPER!
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meds
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so confused right now lol!!!
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I'm not sure there are meds to cure a thing like this, tiki.

Aqua-baby ... disregard all that babble, most things she says aren't relevant to anything or anybody except herself.

back to you .... if you want to have a relationship with him before indulging in The Thang ... then tell him this. You already told him that you think your old feelings might pop back up .. well, tell him that it's these feelings that will prevent you from getting physical with him because you don't want to suffer heartache if it happens and he isn't caught up with his feelings yet.
Just reassure him that you are still there, waiting for him to sort himself out, and that you still want to spend as time with him as possible.
Again .. I still maintain, though .... that if you two can find each other again, it will be in a lovers embrace. Tongue
However you work this out ... it's always nice to hear about a love story on the horizon, ready to blossom ... rather than disparaging ones we are usually inflicted with at the ending time of a gone-wrong relationship.
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I dont disagree with the act that a woman should take responsibility for her actions, but using others is just as bad. A man can easily say he would rather not be an enabler to a "damaged" woman and steer clear of her.
Using is when your knowingly taking a persons insecurities and using it for your own personal benefit/gain...you could care less about their mental and physical well being. Should such a person be cleared of all fault?
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Aqua and pisces have poor communication...all that "psychic energy and intuition" can leave things very confusing if nothing is ever clearly stated to one another.
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