Pisces man says he needs time and pulls away from a relationship but still continues to text everyday as he always has for months. What's happening?
We've been texting and talking for 7 months, dating for 5 months, seriously since Dec. We had "the talk" Jan 24th after I asked him about a dating profile he still had up. He took down the profile and said he was so sorry he hurt me. A little over a week later his txts were getting different, they just seemed routine, no personality. A week ago I called him to talk about it and everything went up in the air. No arguing, a lot of crying between us both. He has been hurt in the past and doesn't believe what I say is real, he says he has been told before that someone cares, but they didn't, or someone misses him, wants him, enjoys being with him, compliments him but it was all lies. Basicly everything I have put out to him, every part of myself I have given him, to show my affection, care, yes my love {I haven't said the words} he doesn't believe. On Sunday he surprised me and came to my town {we live an hr apart}. We met up and talked and cried for 3 hrs. He said he needs time, he has stuff to figure out. I said please take the time he needs, I just want him to be happy. He said he doesn't want me waiting around, he doesn't know how long it will take. I said to take what time he needs and let me know and we can go from there. He said that was his thought too. Now it's been a week almost and he has txted me every day just as he has for 7 months. Gradually as the week has gone on I feel his personality also returning, they are not so routine. But he hasn't called.
I don't know.. I'm confused. He asked for time but never truly went away. Sometimes I wonder if he is doing it for my benefit, I was very upset and hurt, I still am. But I didn't argue, I didn't beg. I want him to figure it out, let go of the past and be able to find happiness even if it's not with me. I told him this too. It's been a crazy but Amazing roller coaster ride since I met this man. Now I am just wondering what he wants from me. Just to keep txting and going on like we are in this pattern or will we move into more over time again and build what we have. I was always the one to ask him out and make our plans, now I don't know how long to wait to ask again because he asked for time but is still contacting me.. oh my goodness, I am so confused. Please help.
He asked for time, not space. He said we could still talk and txt and maybe see each other. What exactly does that mean? He doesn't want serious, but still wants me in his life? And if that is the case, how much time do I give before asking to see him again? uhg...
He is Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, Pisces Venus and I believe Cancer rising..
Oh and on a funny note, during our talk he asked me if I was mad and if I wanted to throw things and yell and call him names. I truly believe he was waiting for me to go psycho on him. I said if he wanted me to call him names I would... and then I called him handsome, sugar and hot stuff. All names I have been calling him. That made him smile.
I really don't want to lose this man, he makes me smile too. How do I know when the right time to see him again is? I'm not sure he will tell me and if I don't stay on top of it he may slip away.
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Jan 19, 2013Comments: 1552 · Posts: 9503 · Topics: 11
Why don't you give him some control by letting him plan your next meeting?
Just let him nicely know he is in charge of it.
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Mar 18, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
Posted by djbuck1
I recall your prior post. Now, this is becoming clear. You maneuvered him into an "exclusive" relationship before he was ready, and now he's darting around the inside of the net looking for an escape-- which he WILL find. Or make. You've come to the Pisces board looking for the magic formula to keep him in your net. You will be told to be patient, to give him time, space, etc., and that this is how Pisces males are. You put him in a position he wasn't ready to be put in, and he was weak enough to let you do that. He doesn't have the stones to tell you this, so instead he's trying to pacify you with this guff about texting you but not seeing you.
Give him all the time and space in the world. That will make him happy as he reverts to the status quo ante, and you are continually frustrated at your inability to bring him to heel.
Sorry. But this is the oldest (weak) Pisces male dodge in The Book, and all the yik yak about time and space from people on here won't change it.
Move on, and save yourself time and frustration.
Djbuck is one of the smartest cats in this joint. Listen to him. See this is why you don't chase after men. You might win them only to watch them swim off later. If a man is interested enough in you, he'll let you know. All you need to do is lay out the bait: flirt and be friendly. If that doesn't get them to take the bait, it just wasn't alluring enough to them and you gotta accept that sometimes your feelings are just not returned. Save yourself for a man who will truly cherish you. When it's right, you won't be asking these questions.Signed Up:
Feb 04, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
Posted by djbuck1
I recall your prior post.
Now, this is becoming clear.
You maneuvered him into an "exclusive" relationship before he was ready, and now he's darting around the inside of the net looking for an escape-- which he WILL find. Or make.
You've come to the Pisces board looking for the magic formula to keep him in your net. You will be told to be patient, to give him time, space, etc., and that this is how Pisces males are.
You put him in a position he wasn't ready to be put in, and he was weak enough to let you do that. He doesn't have the stones to tell you this, so instead he's trying to pacify you with this guff about texting you but not seeing you.
Whether he's stringing you along, holding you in reserve while he sees other people, or is just too weak to tell you he's not ready for what you want is almost irrelevant. You tried to net him. It didn't work. He's swimming away, and nothing any of us tell you will change that.
Give him all the time and space in the world. That will make him happy as he reverts to the status quo ante, and you are continually frustrated at your inability to bring him to heel.
Sorry. But this is the oldest (weak) Pisces male dodge in The Book, and all the yik yak about time and space from people on here won't change it.
Move on, and save yourself time and frustration.
^^^^Perfect. I will venture to say all but the OP actually sees the reality of that.Thank you all for your comments.
I did not maneuver him into anything. I asked him about the profile and said if he wants to see other people I would just like to know that is what he wants. He chose to delete it and he brought up being exclusive. Yes, I cast a net, but it has been an open one on my end the whole time. I don't want to cage him or bring him to heel. I just want to spend time with him and to be in his life. Almost everything I have read says if a Pisces does not want to be with someone they will swim away sometimes without even a goodbye. I did not try to hold him or manipulate him when he said he needs time, I let him know that I would be ok and to take the time he needs. He is the one still swimming circles around me... and its confusing me.
I have let him know in every way I can what I want, I just wanted to know what he wants. That is where the confusion and needs time conversation came in.
I just wanted to get some views from other Pisces on this and see what you all thought. Thanks again.
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Posted by ladyjd
We had "the talk" Jan 24th ....
Looks like you made your bed.
Posted by ladyjd
Now I am just wondering what he wants from me. Just to keep txting and going on like we are in this pattern or will we move into more over time again and build what we have.
click to expand
Looks like you don't have the guts to actually lie on the bed you made ... so instead, you put the blame on him in suggesting that he's the one who wants something from you.
When in reality .. it was YOU ... you're the one who expressed to him that you wanted something else/more, aka: The Talk
So much for expecting a person to actually lie on the bed they make. You should have thought about what you were doing before engaging him with a conversation that has the intentions of putting pressure on him.
You would think that a person would know the man they'd been dating for a while, and would know what to say, how he would take it, what he would feel ... but, no, not you .. you engage him in a conversation that you have zero clue how he might respond, and if he does react, you've no clue what it means.
Nope, you don't know ... because if you did, this thread wouldn't exist.
Next time, get your head out of your ass and pay attention ... because I guarantee you that after this amount of time, he knows every single fucking nuance about you, he knows what every gesture means, what every slight movement of body means, or tone of voice.
You? You are so self absorbed, that you don't even know what it means if he texts you.
::::: shakes head :::::Thank you 88Doble for your insite and for being nice about it and not making me feel like I'm such a bad person for trying to love this man and wanting understanding.
Happy V-Day to you too. I wish you happiness.
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Jan 09, 2014Comments: 5 · Posts: 2854 · Topics: 158
Posted by djbuck1
I recall your prior post.
Now, this is becoming clear.
You maneuvered him into an "exclusive" relationship before he was ready, and now he's darting around the inside of the net looking for an escape-- which he WILL find. Or make.
You've come to the Pisces board looking for the magic formula to keep him in your net. You will be told to be patient, to give him time, space, etc., and that this is how Pisces males are.
You put him in a position he wasn't ready to be put in, and he was weak enough to let you do that. He doesn't have the stones to tell you this, so instead he's trying to pacify you with this guff about texting you but not seeing you.
Whether he's stringing you along, holding you in reserve while he sees other people, or is just too weak to tell you he's not ready for what you want is almost irrelevant. You tried to net him. It didn't work. He's swimming away, and nothing any of us tell you will change that.
Give him all the time and space in the world. That will make him happy as he reverts to the status quo ante, and you are continually frustrated at your inability to bring him to heel.
Sorry. But this is the oldest (weak) Pisces male dodge in The Book, and all the yik yak about time and space from people on here won't change it.
Move on, and save yourself time and frustration.
Listen to Dj. Very wise words, he doesn't want to hurt you. Let him go!Omgggggg it's amazing that I was reading this and thinking, "she sounds like a Taur....."
...then I saw you were. And a moon in Aries. I think we may be sisters or something going through the same thing with a Pisces.
Ok, back to my reading...I'm excited to comment
..All right, I have returned.
The Pisces I am with is much younger than me...I met him through his family who I am VERY close to.
That being said, I can say in all honesty that I have consistently had some of the same misunderstandings of his communication that you've had..esp in the area of texting.
I don't think it has a THING to do with your "head being in your ass" (that was rude to say, btw P-Angel but you have the freedom to express as you wish)...It is said that Pisces have an extreme ability to read people. Mine has actually SAID that TO me.
So, I can't help but thinking that he knows how I feel. He knows and still chooses to be vague or even deliberate in his communications with me. I don't think you're the one misreading. I think he is very deliberately evading you and that there is some truth to djbuck1's commentary; However, I don't think that you are at fault for trapping him. As Earth often does, you simply attempted to define a boundary that could have been present. I find myself often thinking, "I just want to know where we stand...and I feel like I don't." In turn, I will ask direct questions to see if I can get some clarity, but not under the auspice of "needing him to commit."
I feel for you in this. It seems that Pisces in their younger stages have a tendency to be more prone to this behavior, as they really are genuinely unsure what they want sometimes. The Pisces I'm speaking of now is not the first I've experienced these things with.
I will say, however, that if you are beginning to feel your boundless Taurean patience wearing thin, it'd probably be best to exit sooner rather than later.
But it's going to hurt. You love him. He *might* love you back but with no definite way of telling, it really could be tomorrow or a lifetime before you find out...sometimes, the ride in front of you isn't the one to get on
. I would advise to live your life as if he didnt exist and play him his game back... be evasive and especially avoid to express your feelings for him, any feelings. Dont contact him, let him lead. Wait with your expression until he clearly expresses what he feels for you or wants from you. You chased him and cornered him., behaving like a man. Let him lead and come to you. Dont initiate ANYTHING.
evanirae
Thank you very much! He will be 36 next week, 4 yrs younger than me, never been married and no kids. He is a responsible man. Job, car and truck, 2 houses. Close family connection. He has been used in the past, put one gf through collage, and bought another house to accommodate another gf and her kids then let her live there for awhile after they broke up. He was hurt by them, I don't know details, and I don't push either. I told him once that I felt cheated by the women who hurt and used him in the past because he gave to them of himself and they took and used and now he is afraid to let me in because of it. I don't need his money or house or car, I just want him.
Tell me, do you have a problem too with your Taurean patience and your Aries moon impatience butting heads when it comes to your emotions? I could be the most patient person until my emotions get involved. I don't play games, and I really do like to know where I stand but I can go with the flow too. Then there is my Virgo rising that wants to pick everything apart and understand it! I'm a mess. LOL! His communication is terrible and it makes me laugh because he commented once that communication is important! It does hurt, I'm not a stand in the wings or sit on the fence kind of person, but I am just going to back off and let him decide. I've told him how I feel about him so it's up to him now.
eglantine
Thank you. I have tried to be evasive and I just can't manage it for long, he pulls me right back in. I have a hard time not showing my feelings but your advice is welcome. He seems to always want my attention and gets so happy when I give it. I like him happy. He has been hurt and I don't want to hurt him too so I find it hard to just stop contact. But I have been letting him contact me and only reply when he does.
You're all right, I chased, now it's his turn. Tell me, when he does {optimistic here} should I play hard to get? 
Don't play games with this man. He is behaving exactly like a Pisces male does until they are ready to be caught.
Way back when my Pisces husband and I were doing the "will we won't we?" dance it was frustrating as hell!
Me being Taurus had trhe whole jealousy possessive nature to deal with and he being Pisces had the whole "I can swim away whenever I want to" mindset.
All you are looking for I feel is the security of knowing you are together. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this but you will never be able to do anything to get that until he is ready to give that to you.
You are a bull, sit still in his water. The more you stomp your hooves, the muddier the water gets. Sit still and be his rock. Don't try and force anything. If he is really interested he WILL come to you and you will get what you need from him.
Don't run, don't ignore him, don't play hard to get. Be consistent and learn more about him in this waiting period.
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Apr 07, 2011Comments: 0 · Posts: 1325 · Topics: 0
Posted by ladyjd
We had "the talk" Jan 24th after I asked him about a dating profile he still had up.
this is the only line that needs to be understood, this is what a man does when they are not *ready* to settle with one woman...
If you stay put and continue to allow him to have his cake and eat it you will be his mat...option etc...
So you had to ask him to pull it down...so what happened if you didn't ask him about his profile...he would still meet women...
you can't keep a roaming Pisces at bay ...they need to mature and feel ready top settle down on their own...being there for them continues to feed their right to use you as a mat...
He needs to grow,,, learn what he wants and then when he is ready he either sees you as the one or not...but don't wait around and waste your years on a man...not worth it and you will regret if nothing transpires after...Signed Up:
Feb 04, 2013Comments: 1 · Posts: 9186 · Topics: 179
@ piranhaparadiise
Nice Avi! 
The last 2 weeks he has become cold and detached, his communication has gotten worse and he has hurt my feelings several times. I had done what he asked and just backed off and given him time and space but still tried to keep the communication lines open and let him know I was just there for him. I met with him tonight for the 1st time in 3 weeks. I asked him why his texts had been so cold and detached. I asked him to be honest with me as that is all I have ever been with him. He said he met up with some friends and one of them was a woman he went to school with. He has been seeing her for about 2 weeks. Why would he tell me he needed time to figure things out and then start seeing another woman a week later?
He started to tear up before we even started talking, just kept looking at me. I sent him a birthday card a few days ago, in it I wrote things like, {he is lovable, he is worthy, he is sweet, he is handsome, he is funny, he is smart and so on..} All off the good things I believe him to be. He said it made him cry and that he isn't half the man I see him as.
He said I am too sweet for him and he doesn't deserve me. He doesn't understand that to me he is very worthy. I said to him to believe in himself, to go for his dreams, to not hope for happiness but to have the courage to make it happen. I told him I just want him to be happy and that there would always be someone out there that loves him for who he is not what he can give... me.
I didn't cry, I got out of his truck, he gave me a long tight hug and I walked away and got in my truck. He drove away a few mins later. Then the tears started to flow and my heart broke. A few min later he pulled back up and tapped on my window. I didn't want him to see me cry! When I opened the door he asked if I would be ok, and hugged me again. He drove off again. I sat there crying, I couldn't drive like that. It was about 10 min later that I realized he had drove to the back of the parking lot behind me and was sitting there waiting for me to leave. I started to cry even more. I finally stopped long enough to drive home. He texted me a link to a song.. My Wish by Rascal Flatts.
He's gone... I know my heart will heal, but damn this hurts.
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Jun 11, 2009Comments: 93 · Posts: 4144 · Topics: 109
ladyjd - awww sweetie. my heart goes out to you. this is exactly what djbuck was trying to tell you, sweetie pie. just let go. the pain will subside. move on, keep yourself busy, and think of yourself as being one step closer to meeting the RIGHT man for you! you will be just fine!!! **hugs** 
One thing I know from being in a relationship with a pisces for 7 years, is that when they are into you, they are there, always. They are texting you, contacting you, very involved. They tell you they love you, that your beautiful, allllll the time.
When they are not into you they are distant, and wont tell you strait how they feel.
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
You're the one who put pressure on him with intentions of trying to force him into being someone YOU want him to be.
If the fact was: he was still on a dating site .. then he was never a keeper in the first place. But, instead of using any brain cells in realizing he wasn't into you enough to be worthy, you completely disregarded not only your own brain, you disregarded any/all sound advice you got from others.
I would venture to say that you chose ignorance over your friends in RL, also.
Then, to top it off ...............
You further acted like a douchebag by: 1. sending him a card with written words intended to crawl up his ass further, and 2. at break up, you convey to him that if/when he wants the person who is right for him, that you're waiting.
Seriously .... you've presented yourself as a doormat with no values.
Instead of crying and moaning about how hurt you feel ... why don't you try putting on your big girl panties to do a self check to realize that you made this fucking bed by giving him your power.
I'd even wager that right now, eventhough you know he's seeing someone else ... that you'd still suck his dick, and tell him you're his woman if he wants you.
How pathetic. You know ... people get what they deserve. And if you're going to have zero integrity, then you actually deserved this because people are suppose to tell a guy that she is the one for him, just after he tells you he's been seeing someone else behind your back.
Seriously .... wtf? Are you stupid? .. or what?
Posted by P-Angel
You're the one who put pressure on him with intentions of trying to force him into being someone YOU want him to be.
If the fact was: he was still on a dating site .. then he was never a keeper in the first place. But, instead of using any brain cells in realizing he wasn't into you enough to be worthy, you completely disregarded not only your own brain, you disregarded any/all sound advice you got from others.
I would venture to say that you chose ignorance over your friends in RL, also.
Then, to top it off ...............
You further acted like a douchebag by: 1. sending him a card with written words intended to crawl up his ass further, and 2. at break up, you convey to him that if/when he wants the person who is right for him, that you're waiting.
Seriously .... you've presented yourself as a doormat with no values.
Instead of crying and moaning about how hurt you feel ... why don't you try putting on your big girl panties to do a self check to realize that you made this fucking bed by giving him your power.
I'd even wager that right now, eventhough you know he's seeing someone else ... that you'd still suck his dick, and tell him you're his woman if he wants you.
How pathetic. You know ... people get what they deserve
Seriously .... wtf? Are you stupid? .. or what?
P-Angel, why don't you shut the fu $ & up. Obviously you've had a couple of dicks up your azz since you are so fuc $ @& rude. Your azz didn't fall in the world at 55, so she still has to figure it out. Apparently she's still young and haven't quite realized that most (not all) men are butt wipes, and they are bigger dicks mentally than the baggage that hangs between their thighs, but I'm sure after this experience, she'll start figuring out. Besides, who pissed in your bowl of cheerio's???Signed Up:
Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Posted by LIb4Life
.... and haven't quite realized that most (not all) men are butt wipes, and they are bigger dicks mentally than the baggage that hangs between their thighs
:::: raises eyebrows ::::
LOL I think P-Angel is very right in a lot of ways. I have lately read other things you have written and you are a very forward say it like it is person and I can respect that. Maybe though you could take a course in subtlety and compassionate writing (any such class?) Kind of like bedside manners! There is no sense in being mean and crude to someone asking for advice or guidance. I have read that Pisces are a loving peaceful people and even though I know that sometimes tough love comes in handy (mom of 4 boys) your comments sometimes come off as a bitter and cranky I know it all woman. Give the tough love speeches without the mean uncalled for crude criticism and your point and advice just may be better taken for what it's worth. Which when I read between the lines, is worth quite a bit. Thank you.
I am not that young, but I met my late husband at 24 and was married for 13 yrs. I have just started dating again in the last year. I guess I do have a lot to learn about men and dating. Most of all I have a lot to learn about myself. Who would have thought at my age I would have to learn more about myself! No to mention this whole technological age and dating rules.. who came up with the rules anyway!
It's been over 2 weeks since we talked. It's been very hard to put my heart back in order. I have gone day to day just focusing on me and my boys. I did text him to see how he was doing (moment of weakness). He did reply back and we text a couple times only if I text him so I stopped, then nothing. I have worked myself into the frame of mind to have no expectations of anything between us and I am doing ok with it now.
Today, out of the blue my phone went off and it was a text from him that said "I hope you had a good weekend." We messaged a couple times. Again, I have no expectations but It did bring a smile to my face. Anyway, just thought I'd share that update. I'm in a better frame of mind these days and looking back I can see my mistakes and be more open to the advice given. Thank you all.
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Dec 18, 2013Comments: 19 · Posts: 794 · Topics: 16
Posted by fishinamaize
ladyjd, for future reference when dealing with a Pisces man.
Don't ever play hard to get. BE hard to get.
living out the fantasy of the manic pixie dream girl....? maybe i'm being idealistic as well here... but i don't want to BE hard to get to anyone that i love. or at least, i don't want them to feel as if i'm never accessible. there but never there... that's called being a heartache.
http://www.newstatesman.com/life style /2013/06/i-was-manic-pixie-dream-girl
I agree bloodflood. I certainly see the whole chase and be chased thing, but to just be hard to get all the time defeats the purpose and when do you know you don't have to be hard to get anymore? I feel that if someone is hard to get then the other person will just move on, but I guess that's the idea to see if someone wants you enough to get you... Idk, seems like a game to me.
Thank you fishinamaize, perhaps you could explain BE hard to get?
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Dec 18, 2013Comments: 19 · Posts: 794 · Topics: 16
Posted by fishinamaize
AFTER getting to know her for a while.
What sign was she?
Don't think I can do that though. I like kissing him. He's too adorable.Signed Up:
Jun 20, 2011Comments: 5 · Posts: 4737 · Topics: 103
Posted by ladyjd
LOL I think P-Angel is very right in a lot of ways. I have lately read other things you have written and you are a very forward say it like it is person and I can respect that. Maybe though you could take a course in subtlety and compassionate writing (any such class?) Kind of like bedside manners! There is no sense in being mean and crude to someone asking for advice or guidance. I have read that Pisces are a loving peaceful people and even though I know that sometimes tough love comes in handy (mom of 4 boys) your comments sometimes come off as a bitter and cranky I know it all woman. Give the tough love speeches without the mean uncalled for crude criticism and your point and advice just may be better taken for what it's worth. Which when I read between the lines, is worth quite a bit. Thank you.
I am not that young, but I met my late husband at 24 and was married for 13 yrs. I have just started dating again in the last year. I guess I do have a lot to learn about men and dating. Most of all I have a lot to learn about myself. Who would have thought at my age I would have to learn more about myself! No to mention this whole technological age and dating rules.. who came up with the rules anyway!
It's been over 2 weeks since we talked. It's been very hard to put my heart back in order. I have gone day to day just focusing on me and my boys. I did text him to see how he was doing (moment of weakness). He did reply back and we text a couple times only if I text him so I stopped, then nothing. I have worked myself into the frame of mind to have no expectations of anything between us and I am doing ok with it now.
Today, out of the blue my phone went off and it was a text from him that said "I hope you had a good weekend." We messaged a couple times. Again, I have no expectations but It did bring a smile to my face. Anyway, just thought I'd share that update. I'm in a better frame of mind these days and looking back I can see my mistakes and be more open to the advice given. Thank you all.
Good talking points, and bravo to you for being a mature adult about all of this.
Sincere maturity is about as common as a diamond in the mine these days.
Kudos to you, and it is the Pisces' loss if he doesn't work things out with you.
Your emotional and spiritual maturity prove that you are a true catch.Thank you Scorpiofish. 
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Oct 15, 2009Comments: 1 · Posts: 315 · Topics: 16
Seems no one has figured out how to catch one of us without us knowing. maybe one day
Hi. So as you all read back through this to get a history I will give you a brief overview of what's happened.. We were in contact for several months, he would text me random things about his day or life and I would reply or I would text him to see how he was doing and he would eventually reply. We did talk on the phone at the end of May, he called me when I mentioned in a reply to his text I was having problems with my mower. He told me at that time that he broke up with the girl he stared seeing after me because she was lying and manipulating. It seemed for the month of June that he was swimming around again for awhile and then at the end of the month he just disappeared completely. No more replies. I texted him 1 time in the last 7 weeks just to say I hope that he was doing well and then I just left him alone.
For the last few months I have just taken care of myself and family and last month I decided to start dating again. Today my phone whistled at me for the 1st time in 7 weeks {that's his text alert tone} I was shocked, I didn't even look at it for over an hr. I really didn't expect to hear from him again. When we were dating he promised to send me a picture of what he does at work, but he never did. I got a picture today and he went on to say that he was off on medical leave and the company will have new owners soon.. its kind of like he is just picking up where we left off, Making conversation as if he didn't just disappear 7 WEEKS AGO.
I'm at a loss.. Do I text this man back? Do I let him back in after all this time it has taken me to heal and move on? I don't want to hurt him, I get the feeling he has been through a lot. People change after time apart, is it possible he has? I know I have. Any replies would be greatly appreciated. God bless.