Pisces is so passive and can even be submissive

but at the same time she's completely uncontrollable. She does whatever she wants and if it just so happens to be doing whatever it is I want well, then I guess I'm in luck that day. However, the rest of time she's so hard to pin down. Something I find really irritating is her inability to give me a quick "yes" or "no" in response to very simple and direct questions.

An example: A few mornings ago I got back from running errands and wanted to take her out for breakfast. She's pretty tidy so I couldn't tell if she'd eaten or not by looking at the kitchen and I asked her if she had breakfast yet and she looks me straight in the eye and says, "I don't know." I'm thinking she misheard me so I ask again and she says, "Maybe, I don't know... no..." Then she shrugs and makes a face like as if I've asked her something she needs time to think about. I hadn't even asked her about going somewhere yet. Thinking it over it's as if she was answering my actual question rather than the determining one.

We've been together 9 months and I still feel like no matter what the situation she is always looking for a potential exit. I don't mean a break up, but a way out of things in general. She rarely gives me concrete answers to anything.

Now if I try to bring this up to her she gets very defensive.

I know me being a Virgo puts me opposite of her, but is this really even an opposing sign issue of differences? I'm not certain.

To me that indecisiveness sounds like her mentally thinking about 'hmm how do I fit this suggestion into my day'.
She probably has a list of things she wants to do, some things happen randomly and we pretend we wanted to do that all along.
Sounds like she's very 'head in the clouds' still.

How about giving her easy questions where you already suggest what you want.
'Had breakfast yet? cause I want to take you out for a bite.' Give her a few minutes as you do something else, and just say 'you in?'. It's a gentle nudge because you see what happens if you confront her.

You snap her out of her pink hazy cloud and rub her face in reality. Much needed sometimes but not often appreciated..
Maybe she's the kind that always want to keep everything light & open. Following the currents, ever changing.
It would drive me nuts and I'd want you to pin me down more, without taking away ALL my freedom.

^^ +1 to all of that, 88. Don't give me TOO much room to "anticipate" what's coming next.. Just say straight out, "I was wondering if you've eaten yet.. I'd like to take you out... Which sounds better, XTZ or PDQ?"

And yes, I've forgotten to eat.. asked if I've eaten, I've had to stop and think about it, and if I talk aloud during my thought process... "I don't know.." (did I? I had that soup.. wait, no that was yesterday. I thought about eggs this morning.. did I eat eggs?) "I don't know. Maybe.." (No, wait, I got busy with that paper for work, and think I forgot to eat again.).. "No." ... So I probably look batshit crazy, or at the very least, like a total space cadet. *shrug*

Also, if I *anticipated* you asking me out to eat [and I DO *anticipate* things on an almost psychic level, and yes I answer questions based on the unspoken question I *anticipated* you asking].. I would have had yet ANOTHER thought process play itself out, much like 88 described.. (Is he hinting he's like one of us to cook right now? I don't really feel like it. Maybe he meant going out. Do I want to go out to eat? Do I feel up to it?).. "I don't know..." (I'd have to make myself presentable, even though I planned on staying in and 'unpresentable' today.. ugh, I just wanted to relax.).. "Maybe.. I don't know."... (That paper still needs my attention too. I'm not really that hungry anyway.)... "No."

Looking for the exit for any situation is likely a VERY Pisces thing.. (does she have a Pisces Mercury, like me?).. I have to FEEL like doing something in order to do it, and I have to sift through my jumbled Pisces Merc mind to figure out how I feel about something.. and no *laughing* you can't force me into anything, I'm "uncontrollable" indeed. But if you're non-critical and accepting of the way you can't "pin me down" and how I like to keep situations/plans FLUID and not CONCRETE (maybe so I can still see the "exit" in case I feel a need to USE it?).. well, that earns my trust and my respect, and if you don't try to FORCE me to CHANGE.. I'll change myself, automatically and unconsciously, if it would improve the relationship.

Ahh.. I remember you now.. and no, she's got the Aqua Merc.. which means she still has to think everything through.. it's just not as jumbled as my Pisces Merc is.

This thread has been answered perfectly.

I wish I could forward it to everyone that is close to me lol.

And I also have merc in Pisces. This is so spot on Pisces fem.

Actually, this could have gone another way: (Is he hinting he'd like one of us to cook right now? I don't really feel like it. Maybe he meant going out. Do I want to go out to eat? Do I feel up to it?).. "I don't know..." (I'd have to make myself presentable, even though I planned on staying in and 'unpresentable' today.. ugh, I just wanted to relax. That paper still needs my attention too.).. "Maybe.. I don't know."... (But I didn't eat, and I realize I'm hungry now. Maybe.)... "No." (Now he'll ask me to breakfast, like I believe he wanted to. And I won't know what to say or where I want to go. Damn it.).. and so I would shrug.. and grimace.

He didn't tell us the end.. if he dropped it there.. if he asked her to breakfast.. if they went.. how THAT whole thing went.


This scenario continued (me and my Libra as Leading Man and Leading Lady haha)
He says, "Where do you want to go to eat?".. (Grrr, so many choices! Well, there is that one place I really like. But we went there last week.) .. "Ummm...".. (Why does he always do this to me? I mean, I know he wants to make me happy, but I hate picking all the time!) "Errrmmm.. I don't know." (Great.. he's looking at me like that again. I know he wants me to pick, but there's too many choices, and I'd be happy with anything.).. "Where do YOU want to go?" (For the love of GOD, just PICK a place!).. "It's up to me? But honey.. I think it's your turn to pick. I'll go get ready now." *EXITS*

OR..

He says, "How about Place A? We like that place." (Oh, we do.. but we went there last week..) "Oh, I dunno.. hmmm.. we went there last week though." He says, "Then how about Place B? We haven't been there in a long time." (No, we haven't.. cuz last time, the new decor jangled on my nerves and the food kinda sucked. Plus, our server was rude and slow and it really chapped my ass to leave her a good tip anyway, cuz I'm such a sucker and know she's working for like $ 2.75/hr.) "Nah.. let's try that new one we were talking about, Place C.. heard it was really good. I'll go get ready, I'm starving!"

Now.. it took me about TWO YEARS to actually REVEAL that inner thought process to my Libra. Before then, those were MY thoughts, MY goofy, jangled thought process. NOW, i SPEAK that thought process.. all those things in ((parenthesis)) that were silent and unknowable, are now part of the discussion.. which is exactly what my Libra Mercury Libra wanted.. he's happy as a lamb in clover that I speak my crazy thinks aloud!

Heyyyyy now! I wasn't being funny! I was being SERIOUS! lol

It's just TOO friggin' Pisces though, innit? @_@

Funny thing is that the guys do this too, but it happens very fast.
I never share my crazy thought process, nobody gets it!
Well one friend does as he learned to read what I say.
He loves to joke around as he's the only one in a group that understands me when I ramble.

'You're on a different level, expecting people to already get the point when you start talking'.

Lovely Pisces ladies ^^

Posted by Nefer
Ahh.. I remember you now.. and no, she's got the Aqua Merc.. which means she still has to think everything through.. it's just not as jumbled as my Pisces Merc is.

Pisces with Aqua Merc yep. Everything you said was spot on.

There are days when even a simple question like "what would you like to do today?" makes me think my brain is going to melt.

Posted by Ormas
Funny thing is that the guys do this too, but it happens very fast.

Yes, it happens very fast, literally a few seconds.. but in a similar situation, I've got BOTH thought processes superimposed on each other.. the one thread thinking about and answering the "Did you eat?" question, and the other one thinking about and answering the *anticipated* "Want to go out to eat?" question. My goofy mind easily handles both threads.. might even have another one pop up, like what I need to do in order to get ready for my next day of work, or what the kids' plans/needs are today and the rest of the week, if I have anything I am supposed to be doing to get ready for anything else in my life. The hesitations are VERY brief, short pauses.. not long enough to look stupid or brain damaged or hiiigh.. but to a Virgo/Libra or a (Libra/Virgo lol) asking me a seemingly simple question like, "Did you eat yet?".. I probably look like a space cadet.. not that it takes long.. probably just that he's standing there thinking ((Really? No, REALLY?! She doesn't know if she's EATEN today? She has to THINK about it? Simple yes or no, please.. DID YOU EAT YET?? OMG *mentalfacepalm*))

Hopefully this guy will realize and accept that his Pisces chick isn't doing it to piss him off.. she's honestly thinking about a dozen things.. and actually rather quickly. If he knew everything in her head right then, all the thought threads playing out.. he might actually be IMPRESSED by her mental agility, rather than frustrated by her slight hesitation.. but I know that's a lot to ask when you're on the outside, staring at the chick who can't even seem to tell you if she's eaten breakfast or not, so you can ask her out. *shrug*

Posted by Nefer
He didn't tell us the end.. if he dropped it there.. if he asked her to breakfast.. if they went.. how THAT whole thing went.

I was going to drop it, but I ended up just going and getting her something and bringing it back.

Nefer, I enjoyed reading your perspective on things in this post and my last post.

Posted by webothhavescales

Posted by Nefer
He didn't tell us the end.. if he dropped it there.. if he asked her to breakfast.. if they went.. how THAT whole thing went.

I was going to drop it, but I ended up just going and getting her something and bringing it back.

Nefer, I enjoyed reading your perspective on things in this post and my last post.

click to expand

You are welcome.

And you, Sir, picked the perfect solution. She obviously hadn't eaten (generally my hesitation with that question means I don't think I did, but maybe I did, let me think a second. Usually I can answer immediately and definitively if I DID actually eat!) and just as obviously (even to you) didn't feel up to going out. Going and getting her something was just the right thing. Bet she loved it, and felt cherished and taken care of.. dunno if she's yet at that stage where she knows she needs to VOICE that appreciation, rather than just thinking you'll already know.

We Pisces gotta learn to not expect others to pick up on OUR moods and unspoken thoughts, like we do so naturally -- and we gotta learn to open our mouths and just SAY SO, cuz maybe it's NOT as obvious as we're sure it is, and we tend to think it's all over our faces and obvious. Libra used to tell me I have a poker face.. expressionless, blank.. or that I look upset or angry. One time, he just straight out asked me to tell him about my poker face.. I was like huh? I looked at him, said, "I'm incredibly happy right now.. everything is so good, I'm giddy. I can FEEL it on my face.. can't you see it?" He's like, "No, baby.. there's *nothing* on your face.. it's totally blank." I said, "No way. That's impossible. I'm singing inside." And my brother-in-law looked and shook his head.. said, "He's right.. nothing on your face. Are you SURE you're happy?!" I got up and looked in the mirror, POSITIVE they were just being MEN, and clueless about emotions.. OMG my face was like a blank canvas, absolutely NO emotion whatsoever on it. I looked bored, disinterested, disconnected. Freaked ME out, cuz I really WAS singing-happy inside, like to the point of jumping in Libra's lap and covering his face with kisses while I giggled like a school girl. Hmm.. maybe I should have done THAT, you say?

Well.. I do NOW. I do WHATEVER I feel like doing, fear of rejection or looking stupid or "bothering" him be damned. (Pisces seem to have this common issue where we hate to "bother" you.. so we hold back, we wait for an unmistakable sign of what YOU want! That really hampers our "initiating" anything! LOL) Libra LOVES the way I am now. But I wasn't always like this. Had to open up, take the leap. Had to get there on my own, had trust issues to work through, my bitter past to finish pounding a stake through its black still-beating heart.

Did she have early childhood abuse, on top of toxic past relationships? If so, she'll need to fix that somehow. Nothing will work until she does, no matter how much she wants it to. It will SEEM to for awhile.. then it will inexplicably fall apart.

Nefer, I read your last 2 messages a few times and I still don't know how you wound up on this tangent, but wow that describes a very specific aspect of our relationship. In the beginning I would always be the one to initiate things. One time I asked her about it and she said pretty much what you said, but I didn't understand because I've never pulled back from her in anyway. Yet the fear was there and very strong. It's much better now. What I found was if I give her praise and positive feedback she'll just do more of whatever it was. She's so sweet and so gorgeous it makes me incredibly happy when she initiates affection.

Posted by MissPirate

Posted by Nefer
Ahh.. I remember you now.. and no, she's got the Aqua Merc.. which means she still has to think everything through.. it's just not as jumbled as my Pisces Merc is.

Pisces with Aqua Merc yep. Everything you said was spot on.

There are days when even a simple question like "what would you like to do today?" makes me think my brain is going to melt.

click to expand

i have that affliction as well...pisces (sun, moon, venus AND mars) with mercury in aquarius...

some day's i wish i could just shut my brain off completely...

--Jack

Pisces women are the most confusing they dream of want of things that may not even come true so they go out there to turn their imaginary world in too reality only too find out that reality is rude,crude and real so they still search to mend their dreams only to think in there imaginary world of happy people and happy everything... Keep Dreaming

Posted by Killaz187
Pisces women are the most confusing they dream of want of things that may not even come true so they go out there to turn their imaginary world in too reality only too find out that reality is rude,crude and real so they still search to mend their dreams only to think in there imaginary world of happy people and happy everything... Keep Dreaming

Dafuq was this? Some crap you read on the Internet? Cuz that's not Pisces, especially not Pisces women. Not even a little bit.

Know what's gonna happen to you, little boy? Karma.

Karma is gonna have you meet one of us Pisces women FOR REAL.. and her sugar-sweet coating will have you convinced that this tender morsel is yours for the taking, easily led and manipulated, weak and pliable. And she'll let you go on thinking that, cuz why bother trying to change peoples' minds about us, when we are not dependent on your approval.

It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think she lives in a dream world, when her feet are firmly on both sides AND she knows the difference. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to totally miss her underlying backbone of steel. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think you can control her in any way, much less make her do anything against her will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to abusive her giving nature, but I'm sure you will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to keep pulling your manipulative bullshit on her, but I'm sure you will.

And then, when she's had enough, when she realizes your *potential* is as shitty as your *behavior* and *motives*, when she realizes that YOU'RE too stupid to understand reality... this sweet little goldfish with morph into Shark Mode and chew your ass up, leave you bleeding and broken and confused, and walk away like you never meant a THING to her and never will. She will burn you where you stand, and you will never, ever forget her... but you are NOTHING to her anymore.

.... and the best part? You never saw it coming.. you thought of her as a fluffy bunny rabbit or something. You thought you had her, barney bad ass. She's the REAL bad ass! HAHAHA

Karma's gonna assfuck you for being so fucking ignorant, dude. Mark my words.

Seriously, he needs to print that out and frame it for his wall.

Cuz it's coming, full speed ahead...

... and his "light at the end of the tunnel" will turn out to be the oncoming Karma Train to fuck his ass up.

Posted by Nefer

Posted by Killaz187
Pisces women are the most confusing they dream of want of things that may not even come true so they go out there to turn their imaginary world in too reality only too find out that reality is rude,crude and real so they still search to mend their dreams only to think in there imaginary world of happy people and happy everything... Keep Dreaming

Dafuq was this? Some crap you read on the Internet? Cuz that's not Pisces, especially not Pisces women. Not even a little bit.

Know what's gonna happen to you, little boy? Karma.

(shortened)...

....you for being so fucking ignorant, dude. Mark my words.

click to expand

that's hardcore lol

--Jack

Posted by Nefer

Posted by Killaz187
Pisces women are the most confusing they dream of want of things that may not even come true so they go out there to turn their imaginary world in too reality only too find out that reality is rude,crude and real so they still search to mend their dreams only to think in there imaginary world of happy people and happy everything... Keep Dreaming

Dafuq was this? Some crap you read on the Internet? Cuz that's not Pisces, especially not Pisces women. Not even a little bit.

Know what's gonna happen to you, little boy? Karma.

Karma is gonna have you meet one of us Pisces women FOR REAL.. and her sugar-sweet coating will have you convinced that this tender morsel is yours for the taking, easily led and manipulated, weak and pliable. And she'll let you go on thinking that, cuz why bother trying to change peoples' minds about us, when we are not dependent on your approval.

It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think she lives in a dream world, when her feet are firmly on both sides AND she knows the difference. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to totally miss her underlying backbone of steel. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think you can control her in any way, much less make her do anything against her will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to abusive her giving nature, but I'm sure you will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to keep pulling your manipulative bullshit on her, but I'm sure you will.

And then, when she's had enough, when she realizes your *potential* is as shitty as your *behavior* and *motives*, when she realizes that YOU'RE too stupid to understand reality... this sweet little goldfish with morph into Shark Mode and chew your ass up, leave you bleeding and broken and confused, and walk away like you never meant a THING to her and never will. She will burn you where you stand, and you will never, ever forget her... but you are NOTHING to her anymore.

.... and the best part? You never saw it coming.. you thought of her as a fluffy bunny rabbit or something. You thought you had her, barney bad ass. She's the REAL bad ass! HAHAHA

Karma's gonna assfuck you for being so fucking ignorant, dude. Mark my words.

click to expand

Giddyup MoFo!
I laughed so madly I almost threw my oatmeal across the keyboard

Posted by FishyPisces
Maybe she's not direct because she's walking on eggshells around you.. I know I used to with my ex virgo.

Can you elaborate?

Posted by Nefer

Posted by Killaz187
Pisces women are the most confusing they dream of want of things that may not even come true so they go out there to turn their imaginary world in too reality only too find out that reality is rude,crude and real so they still search to mend their dreams only to think in there imaginary world of happy people and happy everything... Keep Dreaming

Dafuq was this? Some crap you read on the Internet? Cuz that's not Pisces, especially not Pisces women. Not even a little bit.

Know what's gonna happen to you, little boy? Karma.

Karma is gonna have you meet one of us Pisces women FOR REAL.. and her sugar-sweet coating will have you convinced that this tender morsel is yours for the taking, easily led and manipulated, weak and pliable. And she'll let you go on thinking that, cuz why bother trying to change peoples' minds about us, when we are not dependent on your approval.

It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think she lives in a dream world, when her feet are firmly on both sides AND she knows the difference. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to totally miss her underlying backbone of steel. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to think you can control her in any way, much less make her do anything against her will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to abusive her giving nature, but I'm sure you will. It would be a terrible mistake (for you) to keep pulling your manipulative bullshit on her, but I'm sure you will.

And then, when she's had enough, when she realizes your *potential* is as shitty as your *behavior* and *motives*, when she realizes that YOU'RE too stupid to understand reality... this sweet little goldfish with morph into Shark Mode and chew your ass up, leave you bleeding and broken and confused, and walk away like you never meant a THING to her and never will. She will burn you where you stand, and you will never, ever forget her... but you are NOTHING to her anymore.

.... and the best part? You never saw it coming.. you thought of her as a fluffy bunny rabbit or something. You thought you had her, barney bad ass. She's the REAL bad ass! HAHAHA

Karma's gonna assfuck you for being so fucking ignorant, dude. Mark my words.

click to expand

woa.

this is exactly what happened to me.

i deserved it too