Pisces Mom driving me nuts!

I love my mom to the fullest. But, sometimes I really just want to give her my Taurus horns. Lol
She is extremely sensitive, to the point where I can't even express why I get so frustrated with her when she ask "what's wrong?".
Trust me I've tried to talk to her about it but, she just gets upset. (Acts passive aggressive, slamming doors, being mean. Or, she will try to guilt trip me.)
She's always talking about her problems. Like over and over, & over again like its a new subject.

Example: "This girl at work has it out for me".
Hour or two later.
"This girl at work, really hates me." It's like you just said that! We already talked about this! Lol

Next day: "You know there is the lady at work that despises me".

Then she gets upset, when I don't have the reaction she wants me to have. Hmmm...maybe its because we have already talked about this!!! LOL

It sucks, and she is really annoying. She thinks she is right about everything. Although I value my moms opinion like anyone would their mother. But, man! Lol

Also, if one thing goes wrong in her day, it will ruin her entire day. Even if my sister and I didn't do it, she will give us the cold shoulder. Like we were the ones that caused her the upset her.

I suppose I'm just venting. I could never tell her this. All she will do his go in her room and cry. Then come out and say that I hurt her feelings, when it was her who asked my opinion or, asked why I'm irritable with her.
Can you please give me some advice, or tell me how
"These women are" so I can understand why she does the things she does. Before I go crazy!!!! It's getting worse. I love my mom. She just bugs sometimes lol

Posted by JasonDeluca
Sounds like she is looking for you to play mommy.

Is there a man in her life?

Actually that makes a lot of sense. And no she has no man in her life. Would that be a reason why she is doing this?

Posted by JasonDeluca

Posted by EboneJay

Posted by JasonDeluca
Sounds like she is looking for you to play mommy.

Is there a man in her life?

Actually that makes a lot of sense. And no she has no man in her life. Would that be a reason why she is doing this?

Yeah, you and your sister are convenient.

What is her history with boyfriends? After your dad has she dated?

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After her and my dad (a Leo) divorced five years ago. She has dated two guys, but she said one was too controlling, the other I don't believe is ready for a relationship. I think she is really lonely but, that's no excuse to be using my SIS and I that way(who is also a Taurus). Her best friend from high school, an Aries claimed to be in love with her, but fussed her to be with another girl, so I believe that hurt her a lot. She always talks about this.

She's emotionally dependent. She has no one to talk to about her personal problems, not having a guy, so she's looking towards her daughters for that support....which she won't find, because she's supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around. She probably feels really alone. Not much you can do besides listen to her, but I understand that that is annoying. Hopefully she'll get better with time and maybe start at least taking out her stress and emotions through better mediums and doing more positive things.

And honestly, I don't know if she can make a relationship with another guy work right now. She seems the type to blame her shortfalls on others and claim the victim stance....and give in to her loneliness. But, then again, I don't know her. I hope she finds a positive influence in her life for her sake as well as yours and your sister's.

Posted by Scenic
She's emotionally dependent. She has no one to talk to about her personal problems, not having a guy, so she's looking towards her daughters for that support....which she won't find, because she's supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around. She probably feels really alone. Not much you can do besides listen to her, but I understand that that is annoying. Hopefully she'll get better with time and maybe start at least taking out her stress and emotions through better mediums and doing more positive things.

Yes, and thNks a lot. I hope it gets better too. I do listen to her, all the time It's just once I've had enough I've had ENOUGH. But, she does take very good care of us but, I feel like I'm not just her daughter. I have to be her best friend, and extra parent when it comes to taking care of my SIS.

Posted by JasonDeluca
Plus, She may be scaring away potential male prospects if she comes off with a lot of emotional baggage.

She needs a friend her own age or maybe a therapist.

The funny thing is she is a therapist. LOL

Posted by JasonDeluca

Posted by Scenic
She's emotionally dependent. She has no one to talk to about her personal problems, not having a guy, so she's looking towards her daughters for that support....which she won't find, because she's supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around. She probably feels really alone. Not much you can do besides listen to her, but I understand that that is annoying. Hopefully she'll get better with time and maybe start at least taking out her stress and emotions through better mediums and doing more positive things.

^^^thank you^^^^

You saw where I was going with this didn't you?

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No, we're probably just the same person.

@If she's a therapist, you'd think she'd be able to see her own problems! Then again, I guess not.

You need to take her on Dr.Phil. Hahaha. That's what people do nowadays, right?

Posted by JasonDeluca

Posted by EboneJay

Posted by JasonDeluca
Plus, She may be scaring away potential male prospects if she comes off with a lot of emotional baggage.

She needs a friend her own age or maybe a therapist.

The funny thing is she is a therapist. LOL

Is she on Meds? Does she drink a lot?

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No she is not, and she does not drink often. LOL But, I do think the therapist thing is a good idea. My God Sister suggested that but, how do I bring it up?

Heh, well, I think you're going to hurt her feelings either way, suggesting it. I suppose just try to level with her...be very calm and nice about it and say that you're worried for her or something, in a way that makes it sound like you care about her well-being, so she doesn't feel attacked. Or something.

I was thinking about going with what Jason said..kinda...making her feel bad...but then again, if she doesn't go through with therapy, those words will probably make her worse in the long run. Haha. Guilt.

Posted by Scenic
Heh, well, I think you're going to hurt her feelings either way, suggesting it. I suppose just try to level with her...be very calm and nice about it and say that you're worried for her or something, in a way that makes it sound like you care about her well-being, so she doesn't feel attacked. Or something.

Yes, I agree I think it will hurt either way. I guess I should just put on a winter jacket and prepare for cold shouldered guilt trip. LOL
I'll do it and see what happens.
Thank a lot to both of you. 🙂

You could tell I was upset. I never post with so many spelling errors. Lol

I'm not a Pisces, but I have a Pisces mom. The above posts gave you great advice, I am just adding another child of a Pisces point of view. Here is a perspective:

My mom and I reconnected after years of her not being able to communicate with me: we 'talked' but it was not a good connection. Most of the time if I had an issue I just didn't tell her or anyone else because of the disconnection there. Once my dad died she told me how much she loves and supports me. She is not clingy, just lonely and vunerable. All I can do at this age an junction is support her.

She is a good hearted person over all. Those moments when I wish my mom would have been there can not be regained. In her words "everything is how it is supposed to be", but if as a daughter I can regret anything it would be not trying harder to have her there for me.

Do what you can to support her and have her included in aspects of your life. If it gets too repetitive,listen anyway. Sometimes people are not as strong as you think they should be and you may be their only friend, even if you are their child; or the only people she feels comfortable sharing her frustations.

Posted by Flavia
I'm not a Pisces, but I have a Pisces mom. The above posts gave you great advice, I am just adding another child of a Pisces point of view. Here is a perspective:

My mom and I reconnected after years of her not being able to communicate with me: we 'talked' but it was not a good connection. Most of the time if I had an issue I just didn't tell her or anyone else because of the disconnection there. Once my dad died she told me how much she loves and supports me. She is not clingy, just lonely and vunerable. All I can do at this age an junction is support her.

She is a good hearted person over all. Those moments when I wish my mom would have been there can not be regained. In her words "everything is how it is supposed to be", but if as a daughter I can regret anything it would be not trying harder to have her there for me.

Do what you can to support her and have her included in aspects of your life. If it gets too repetitive,listen anyway. Sometimes people are not as strong as you think they should be and you may be their only friend, even if you are their child; or the only people she feels comfortable sharing her frustations.

Thank you for the good advice. And, I do invite her out, I cook for her. I buy her things and I do listen to her as I stated in my last post. And, honestly I try my very VERY best to keep all of this inside because I know she needs me. So, don't ever EVER in your life call me selfish. Because, you don't know me. (Sorry if that was rude). I remember when my sister died when I was six, my father didn't hold her at night or early in the morning when she cried, it was me! I was the one that bathed her because she was too sad to do it for herself. I have helped her take care of my sister since I was 9 years old, when she was still married to my father. I would wake up at five oclock, every morning got my self dressed made my sister a bottle, changed her diaper, and put her clothes on. Then I would lay my mothers clothes out for her, and woke her up. Every morning! For years! Even now I jet home from school to
pick my sister up from school. I help her with home work, I run around for my mother when she can't. And I still try to keep a sMile on my face when she is bugging me, why? BecausE I know she needs it.

I also just this past winter, helped my mother recover from major surgery. I was the one who showered her. Lit

Literally fed her. Helped her walk around while she gripped my arm for support. I have been there and will continue to be there for her. "But, my mother is draining me. I am 19, a young adult. I can not take it anymore."- that was and is my entire point.
Your advice was great. Don't get me wrong. Thank You. 🙂

Word of advice: When you are talking to a Taurus {Bull} when they are emotional, try not to say things that may upset them. That "little less selfish" comment did it for me. 😉

Posted by 88
when your mom gets emotional or moody, give her a hug, make her feel loved and invite her for a walk. It will help her.

If she likes animals, invite her to the adoption center to see puppys or kittens/cats. A cat will get near her and absorb some of that emotional /negative energy and will pass on some love to her as well as she can pass it to the cat.

It is necessary for her to give her sweet love and be accepted or she will get depressed, and be in a bad mood.

I hope you came to the pisces board to seek for help and advice on how to help her, and not just rant and pass it on to other pisces who are absorbing your words as well.

Now you know, it is up to you if you want to help her.

Yes, I do hug her when she is down. I try to make her laugh, but she won't budge. She will sit there as if I haven't said anything, or will just say. "I know your trying Jay, but not now". Which hurts because I was only trying to make her feel better. Do I just keep trying?

I also bake her stuff, or I will buy her little presents too.

And I would not be on this thread if I did not want to help her. (Did you read the bottom of my first post. I said can you help me with these women, because I want to understand why she does the things she does.)

Posted by 88

Posted by JasonDeluca
You're good 88.....Sheesh...Bustin out with the deep stuff. Me likes!

Thanks Jason. 🙂

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I did not mean to go off on you. But, you have to realize as much as my mother is hurting and lonely. So am I, it sucks to watch your mom so upset. When you have done everything to help her. I don't talk to anyone about this because, I don't want to bother people with my problems. Coming on this thread was a final decision to help me help my mother.
You made some great points. And I guess I will just let her drain me. I hope your single motherhood will be better than my moms. I also hope that your kids will never feel as I do. It truly sucks. Thank you, again! 🙂

I am studying to be a clinical psychologist so I've done a lot of research in regards to the field. Psychologists/therapists commit suicide often because many of them get into the field an d don't know how to detach themselves from their clients' situations, and as a Pisces myself, I am sure this is something your mom may have a hard time doing. If you look at it this way, your mom spends her days listening to other people's deepest problems/situations, soaks them in, and now has to deal with all of their emotional baggage as well as her own. It's inevitable that this would take its toll on her. We Pisces soak up emotions like a sponge, but once we soak them in, a lot of us don't know how to release them in a positive manner so they stay there and bottle up until they explode out or we find an escape (hence the stereotype of Pisces having drinking/drug problems).
As for your situation, I suggest you just sit down with her and talk with her about your concerns and how you are feeling. It is also important for you to choose your words. For example, saying you always ... will make her feel as though you are attacking her and she will get defensive. Appeal to her feelings. For example, say something along the lines of I understand you are going through ... and I am here for you because I love you. Sometimes, however, I just feel as though the stress and emotions you are feeling are projected onto me and (your sister's name) and it really hurts. I am not trying to attack you or hurt you, I just want to be honest with you about how I am feeling so that we can find a healthier to communicate, or something like that. This is just my .02.

Furthermore, from an astrological point of view, you have Mercury (communication) square your ascendant (masked self). Because of this, your verbal messages at times don't match up to your non-verbal messages (body language), so while you may be trying to comfort her verbally, your behavior is at odds, and your mom may be picking up on this. Also, this aspect leads to misunderstood messages. What I mean by this is what you say, or are trying to say to people doesn't come across that way.

Posted by Daydreamer35
Furthermore, from an astrological point of view, you have Mercury (communication) square your ascendant (masked self). Because of this, your verbal messages at times don't match up to your non-verbal messages (body language), so while you may be trying to comfort her verbally, your behavior is at odds, and your mom may be picking up on this. Also, this aspect leads to misunderstood messages. What I mean by this is what you say, or are trying to say to people doesn't come across that way.

That makes a lot of sense. I do have a very serious poker face. I will try comforting her with a different expression next time. & thank you for explaining the emotions thing. That actually make quite a bit of sense. Is this the reason they say therapists should see another therapist? My dad has also said that my mother does not know how to leave work at work.

I do have a habit of saying something I really do mean, but not giving off the body language that goes along with what I'm saying. She calls me compassion less, because I don't offer her hugs enough. I have tried to explain to her, the difference in her thinking and mine. Is there a better way to say it? Or, do I just need get on her level of what she thinks is compassion, and smother her with more affection? And my mom has commented on this many times.
To me if I were compassion less I wouldnt care enough to seek help. Or, try and make her feel better. Am I wrong?

Your dad is right about therapists having therapists, and it really is hard to keep that line of work at work only. As for your questions, it is obvious that you care, but your way of showing it , I believe, is at odds with what she wants/needs so it may seem to her as though you don't care or aren't trying. Honestly, I don't recommend your "reaction-formation" approach of being over affectionate in order to compensate for what needs to be fixed through communication. I say this because eventually resentment is going to form on your end and you may end up feeling as though you're having to do all of the behavior-changing to appease her. I think you two really just needs to talk things out so this doesn't worsen and a barrier form between you.

What is your mom's chart if you don't mind me asking, I have a feeling you two have a difficult aspect to Saturn or Mercury in either your synastry chart or composite.

Posted by Daydreamer35
Your dad is right about therapists having therapists, and it really is hard to keep that line of work at work only. As for your questions, it is obvious that you care, but your way of showing it , I believe, is at odds with what she wants/needs so it may seem to her as though you don't care or aren't trying. Honestly, I don't recommend your "reaction-formation" approach of being over affectionate in order to compensate for what needs to be fixed through communication. I say this because eventually resentment is going to form on your end and you may end up feeling as though you're having to do all of the behavior-changing to appease her. I think you two really just needs to talk things out so this doesn't worsen and a barrier form between you.

What is your mom's chart if you don't mind me asking, I have a feeling you two have a difficult aspect to Saturn or Mercury in either your synastry chart or composite.

I have no clue what her chart is. She doesn't do the astrology thing. Her bday is 2/23/64 Louisiana, bogalusa...idk what time.