Posted by bittercupcakeI both agree and disagree with you. I think my love for her is WAYY different than mine. But I don't think she doesn't care. Just not like I do toward her. But I also think NO ONE in this entire universe cares for their loved ones the same as their loved ones care for them. EVERYONE will ALWAYS feel differently and no two people EVER feel the "same" toward one another at the same damn time. Its called transparency for a reason. Right now she is feeling NRE. or "NEW RELATIONSHIP ENERGY".
I think this is mostly one sided. You need to express your feelings now to avoid all this.
Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
Posted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.click to expand
Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.click to expand
Posted by WaterDevilIt is weaker to pretend to be fine, when you are not. Asking for help every once in awhile, does not make you weak, but human.Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
click to expand
Posted by shakedownI want to ask for her so badly. But A part of me feels really bad. Im her friend with benefits. Im not her partner. Do I reserve the right to ask for her presence?Posted by WaterDevilThe role of "hero" should go both ways. If you are always the hero, you run the risk of emotionally burning out and may start to feel the relationship is "one-sided." When you are in a relationship, you share problems and never see your partner's problem as a burden. Share it with her. I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Good luck.Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
click to expand
Posted by WaterDevil@blvckphasePosted by shakedownI want to ask for her so badly. But A part of me feels really bad. Im her friend with benefits. Im not her partner. Do I reserve the right to ask for her presence?Posted by WaterDevilThe role of "hero" should go both ways. If you are always the hero, you run the risk of emotionally burning out and may start to feel the relationship is "one-sided." When you are in a relationship, you share problems and never see your partner's problem as a burden. Share it with her. I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Good luck.Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
click to expand
Posted by WaterDevilwhat i'm confused
I wrote the following.... I dont know if I should send this to her or just call her...
"I was being modest the other day. I feel like a weak little biiitch. And whenever I feel like I'm exposing my self as such I respond as if I'll be okay but Im not at all. When you said you want to be there for me I just felt like I needed to see you. I feel selfish for even thinking that because you have a lot going on and you don't owe me shit. I just feel like I need that right now."
@shakedown @blvckphase @adreamuponwaking
Posted by shakedownWell Our "rule" I guess is we are friends before anything. So no I wouldn't be breaking a rule I suppose. We both agreed on the transparency. Maybe I should lead with a question?.. Something like "we are friends before anything. right?"Posted by WaterDevilThis is a tough question to answer, only because its "YOUR" relationship. Only you know the "guidelines" and dynamics of your "FWB" relationship. Have the two of you ever spoken about the "rules" of the relationship? Would you be breaking the "rules" if you leaned on her in your time of need?Posted by shakedownI want to ask for her so badly. But A part of me feels really bad. Im her friend with benefits. Im not her partner. Do I reserve the right to ask for her presence?Posted by WaterDevilThe role of "hero" should go both ways. If you are always the hero, you run the risk of emotionally burning out and may start to feel the relationship is "one-sided." When you are in a relationship, you share problems and never see your partner's problem as a burden. Share it with her. I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. Good luck.Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
click to expand
Posted by DroganFor context. Im a female.Posted by WaterDevilHow is saying that weak! That all takes time, a level head, and treetrunking balls! You're afraid of being rejected, or possibly, intuitively, you know you don't love her.Posted by nikkistarIm afraid I'll look weak. I like being her hero. I like how she looks up to me... I dont feel like a hero anymorePosted by WaterDevilIt would probably be best if you actually told her that you are emotionally struggling due to the trauma, and right now, you need her physical and mental comfort more so now, than ever before. You can write that via text, but I would say that in person, you may want to explain to her the full extent of exactly how much damage to your psyche has been done.Posted by nikkistarWhat say "I love you. I need you."?? Than what?
Women, nor men, are mind readers. Ask, and ye shall receive.
If there ever was a sign that wanted to be there for their loved ones, I believe it would be a Pisces. Granted, I still hold firm that men should never lean on women, yet emotionally, let her in a little if you love her like you say you do. It sounds like you feed off of this superiority feeling you get by "being a hero" for her. Don't let that be all she is for you, don't let her be a bolstering tool. That's not fair to either of you. I'm not trying to assume, but it sounds like that from your post.click to expand
Posted by Adreamuponwakingthat is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what you just told me to do on the phone. I am SO confused now dude.
Keep your guard up I say.
You will feel better tomorrow.
see if you can talk to a professional at low cost or free .
there are plenty of services around i'm sure.
Posted by blvckphaseGod knows when I see her in person next. Should I call her after work as opposed to text her?Posted by WaterDevilYes, the honest approach is best. Let her know how you are feeling and why you have kept her at a distance in regard to this. I know you want to remain the strong front, but she wants to be there for you like you have been there for her. I promise she won't view you as weak. She will like that you are opening up to her.
I wrote the following.... I dont know if I should send this to her or just call her...
"I was being modest the other day. I feel like a weak little biiitch. And whenever I feel like I'm exposing my self as such I respond as if I'll be okay but Im not at all. When you said you want to be there for me I just felt like I needed to see you. I feel selfish for even thinking that because you have a lot going on and you don't owe me shit. I just feel like I need that right now."
@shakedown @blvckphase @adreamuponwakingclick to expand
Posted by WaterDevillolzPosted by Adreamuponwakingthat is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what you just told me to do on the phone. I am SO confused now dude.
Keep your guard up I say.
You will feel better tomorrow.
see if you can talk to a professional at low cost or free .
there are plenty of services around i'm sure.click to expand