Scorp Female Needs Advice On Her Pisces Male

I'm a scorpio female who has expressed that typical scorp jealous rage (won't go into details, but it involved me way overstepping the mark - no i didn't cheat) and my pisces male (who I utterly adore) has gone off in a sulk - so far it's been 4 weeks and i've spoken to him twice, the second time just last night. In my paranoia i assumed he'd gone forever, but he did take the time to talk to me. He told me that I'd hurt him and he was still very angry with me and didn't know if he could trust me not to hurt him again - to be honest I was surprised he even gave me the time of day, but I am a scorp after all and that's what we'd do if the shoe were on the other foot, right? Anyway - please please please can someone help me with some advice on the pisces male— He says he needs time to sort his head out and stuff. What do pisces males do in these kinda situations— I've read a bit on here there they go off into their own little world for a while, but eventually come back - but seeing how much i've hurt him will he eventually come back to me - i have done the opposite to my scorp nature and apologised, been humble admitted I was wrong, begged for forgiveness and another chance— Before this transgression we were doing just great, we know we are eachothers solemates and we connect on so many different levels that it's spooky - the perfect scorp/pisces relationship (if one exists!!). So please can anyone give me an insight.

Alright, I'm a male pisces, so you need to tell me in detail, EXACTLY, what is it, that you did to him, one...and two, how long have you two been together, I need to take all of these factors into consideration.

ok so back in 2001 we were friends for about 18 months - i fell in love with him, but didn't say anything becoz i thought he didn't feel the same way. As time got on I realised that i was so far in love with him that i was going to get hurt coz i didn't think he felt the same so i ended it. Back in January i got back in touch with him and after about 2 months of emails the whole truth came out that he was deeply in love with me but didn't realise I was in love with him back in 2001 - just one of those things. So for the last 5 years we stayed in love with eachother but not knowing the other felt the same. In the intervening years, he had reconciled with his long time partner (who he has kids with) coz he thought i was gone for good and she was just 'around' (if you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with type scenario). So when i reappeared he came alive again (his words). We agreed that we were going to see how things would go if we got together - now don't anyone go mental coz he was in a relationship - She wasn't around in 2001 coz she'd gone off with another guy. There's no love between them now and he was only around for the kids - she does her thing and leaves him to do his own thing. Jumping ahead a bit here - so this one saturday I was very emotional because my son had moved out that day to live permanently with his father and i'd drunk far to much alcohol to numb the pain i felt over it. Later when i got an email from him which was a typical pisces whishy washy thing something snapped in me, fuelled by the emotion of my son and the alcohol. I'm ashamed to say that I ended up ringing his house - he had trusted me with all his personal details, trusted me not to use them in this way which i never had. So after I called he ended up telling his 'parter' the whole story about us, going right back to 2001. He didn't have to tell her b/c he answered the phone, but he did. He was at the point of leaving the anyway, he's just devastated to be leaving his children. I got an email 2 days later saying that he didn't want anymore to do with me. I called him about 5 days after that and asked him "if you can say you don't love me I'll go and never bother you again" to which he said "i can't say that". That was about 3 weeks ago and I called him last night, see above for that outcome. Please don't judge me as a home wrecker, i haven't listed our entire history, obviously there's so much more involved :-)

Anyway, he says he needs time to sort his head out - his entire family is going ballistic over this. I don't understand why he had to tell her, but i'm a scorpio i only understand scorpio things!!! I know that reading this people with think "oh he just strung you along honey, move on" but I know that's not the case, I have emails from him that are full of the plans he had for leaving his partner and he was the one who was instigating it, not me, he was the one making the plans - surprise surprise it's usually the scorp that's controlling the situation!!! There's just something about him that I just can't let him go. NEVER in my life have i EVER felt like this - even when my own marriage broke up i wasn't this broken up!!! Oh yeah, when I left him back in 2001 he was utterly devastated by it coz i didn't give a reason, i just wasn't around - yes that was not the right way to behave, i recognise that now and i have explained all that to him. In his mind, now, he's thinking "oh god she's done it again" - he said those exact words to me last night. But i said to him "i'm not doing it again, i'm not leaving you"... i could ramble on all day about this, i just have no one to talk to about it and i feel out of my depth because i'm not reverting to typical scorp behavours - arrogance, indifference etc I'm really really repentant and sorry and i just want him back, i'll do anything in the world to get him back.

As a pisces male.... i can say, the SEVERITY of your offense has a lot to do with IF forgiveness is possible.

I had a girl cheat on me with my best friend, I stayed.
Then she cheated again with someone else a month later, i stayed.

But i lost all hope for our future at that point.

I spent months wondering if somehow i caused it.

Pisces men can be insecure, and if he stays it might be because in some way he feels he deserved what you did to him.

But if he cant find any reason to doubt himself.

Trust me, you've scarred him for life.


He'll probably factor this experience into how he views love as a whole.


The only thing to heal it is something most females are incapable of....
UTTER humility.

Not only admitting you're wrong, but willingly residing in the dog house for as long as it takes... and trust, he won't make you do any overtime in the dog house if you
TRULY put yourself there.

But you gotta feel bad for what you've done and show it.

Really show it.

His mind is probably playing tricks with him at this time so be prepared to deal with the ripple effects of what you've done.

the WORST thing you can do, is that typical female thing of:

"well, i did it, i said im' sorry - get over it"

If that's your attitude, kiss him goodbye forever.

Hi,welcome to the boards🙂Im a scorp also.However your going to hear what you don't want to hear anyways.Its hard to say if you really screwed it up or not and if he does end up with you its probably because his wife kicks his ass to the curb in all this.Telling her may have been an attempt to clear it out and possibly "end it" but it didn't work out that way.The whole "I don't really love her" and "don't want to leave on the count of the kids" cry is used by almost every married dude who cheats on thier wife to keep thier "friends" from contacting them at home and busting them.If she knows and hes still there "trying to sort things out" you should know he doesn't know what to do cause he does apparently love her.Sorry but its not that black and white,you don't marry,have kids and live with people you don't love and can easily pick up and leave them.Seems like MAYBE he does love you in the very,very "optimistic" way of looking at it,however when he told you he didn't want anymore to do with you,it means he made his choice and he staying with his wife.

Mercury Rising thanks for your response. I have already been doing what you suggested and have exiled myself in the doghouse since it happened, i truly truly am so very very sorry for what i have done and the heartbreak i feel for having hurt him is absolutely killing me. Everything you said sounds so like him, the insecurity, the "did i do this to myself" so he must be the typical pisces, which is why i'm seeking advice - i want to be able to make amends in a way that will speak to his piscean nature coz it's not about me it's about him. I agree with you that most women are incapable of humility and in the past i have certainly been guilty of this, but this time something in me has changed and as i am genuinely repentant for what i did, then the humility that i'm showing him is genuine and i am prepared to wait as long as it takes and do whatever necessary in order for trust to somehow be rebuilt. Last time i spoke to him i asked him if i could call him again and he said yes, so i said i'd leave it a couple of weeks - he has asked for space after all and as much as i want to be on the phone every day begging for his forgiveness i know that will only drive him further away.

Mercury Rising, any advice you can offer me on how to speak the 'piscean' language to show him how repentant i truly am would be great. I know that time is the major key and major time in the doghouse is also par for the course and i'm happy to endure that. How do i show him i'm not bullsh*tting and that i want to earn his trust back??

thanks so much Mercury :-)

How to show him that you're not just bullshitting him.....

Attention.

He says he wants some time and space to think.

It's true....HOWEVER,,, he doesn't really feel comfortable being distant from you.

If he's insecure, he may wonder if all this time apart is really cuz you're doing more dirt...when in actuality you're just trying to give him space.


So yeah, he wants space and all --------- but not too much space.
Call every other day, take him somewhere - AWAY FROM THE HOUSE... very important.
Near some water... a lake, downtown by the river etc. .... and just talk to him.


IN THE EVENT HE BECOMES ANGRY.... dont defend what you did.
But let him know that the anger is okay, but he has to still respect you.


I can tell that you are really serious and that will mean a lot to him.


Actually, it's one of the reasons i've entertained the thought of finding a good scorpio girl.

I have two friends who were high school sweethearts and recently got married.
The girl is a Scorpio.

She spent years doing my friend wrong....and now, she's ready and willing to spend years making it up.

She's not bullshitting.

So i do believe that you'll repair the relationship.

But Pisces men ...yo, we are notoriously complex.

But taking the time to untangle it all will mean the most to him.

Mercury what would i do without you - thank you so very much for your help. I was so worried also that you'd think i wasn't sincere in my desire to make amends to my pisces man - scorpio's are notoriously arrogant and cold hearted, but when we are sorry - WE ARE REALLY REALLY SORRY and can't rest until we have put things right again.

The problem is that i am geographically distanced from him so i can't take him to the places you suggested. So it's phone, text or email 😢

I know that you said to call him every other day, but i'm really really scared that this will get on his nerves. When i did speak to him last (Tuesday) he said he thinks about me every single day and i know him well enough to know that he'd feel loved if i did persue him a little, but i'm still so very afraid of ticking him off and loosing him for good. At the end of the call i asked him if i could call again, and after some 30 seconds of silence (which felt like 1/2 hour) he said yes, that i could call him again. So i said ok, but i'll leave it for a couple of weeks. What would he think if i did ring him sooner? Would he feel loved or pee'd off?? I did txt him on friday just to say "hey, how ya doin? I'm praying for ya, hang in there" what would he have thought of that?

Mercury, I think you should consider a scorpio - i know that for me with my pisces man the sense of belonging to one another is beyond anything in this world, it's like we were born for eachother, sounds corny but i'm in 30's and i've had a marriage and some long term b/f's before, but this one...this one is 'hand in glove' if you know what i mean. Yes scorp's can explode, but we are slow to anger and come around quickly. Yes we are arrogant and cold, but a man that knows how to handle us will have our love and devotion forever because we'll know that he was created for us. Scorpio's have the inbuilt desire to bestow utter love and adoration on our men and pisces have the need to recieve that so it's a perfect mix - we never get tired of giving the love (and the gifts and the special little tokens) and pisces never tire of recieving it!!!

Anyway..anymore advice is GREATFULLY appreciated Mercury. Thank you so much for your time :-)

I really would consider a scorpio girl ...but
#1. Cheating is deadly to me...... i mean, it makes me feel as though i don't even
have a reason to live ... i've been cheated on soooo much.
I hate feeling like i'm not good enough for the woman i love.

So if a scorpio girl's sexuality would lead to her interest in other men,

it would be suicide for me to get with a scorpio girl.

I simply cannot take anymore infidelity from women.


#2. Innocence.
I love girls who are progressive minded with their view on the world...
but lady-like and old fashioned with their view of sex.
Girls that have sex with guys they dont love, or who easily fall for game,
or girls who are just overtly freaky ---- i have TONS of girls like that
as friends...but i'd NEVER date one.

My cancer ex was pretty innocent and ONE scorpio girl in my past was too.

So, thats a BIG factor.


as for your situation...


CALL HIM !!!!!

And why do girls Hurt us guys and then say things like "i'm praying for you" —

That would piss me off.

It's actually happened to me.

The girl who cheated on me the most....when we broke up, she would say things like that.

It's not good.

He didn't go through a national tragedy.

YOU HURT HIM.



I'm not tryna be mean.

But.......... calling him, that will mean alot to him.

I say start there.

Let me know what happens.

Hey rizzo and mercury 🙂

What an interesting discussion. It really prompted me to join in if you don't mind.

rizzo, I can definitely tell you are going through a lot with this situation. You are right in that we scorps can be pretty uncompromising in some situations but there are times when we really care and we really are sorry and that is the total truth. You are obviously sorry for your part on this.

Can I just bring your attention to couple of points? Firstly, I do believe in soul mates and people we just have inexplicable connection with. That is something to be cherished and I believe it can potentially stay with us for many many years. If you feel you guys are soul mates, and you've already had this connection since 5 years, don't you feel what you do in the next month wouldn't be the end all be all in this situation? Whether you call him or not somehow I don't feel it is the most important question.

You said it yourself, he would be devastated if he leaves his children. In my view, it is not the wife that is the main issue here but his love and attachment for his children. As trite as this sounds, that is why he hasn't left. For one, that shows he loves his children a lot. But it also shows that he can take some abuse and not be happy in order to get something else. Going by the premise that he'll do what would bring him happiness can be misleading, because it can be that his children mean more at this point to him than his romantic love for you. Now what will you do, like you said you want to find the thing that means most to him, not to you. If it means he has to be with his children, can you love him enough to let him do that?

That brings me to another point. You are really being very harsh on yourself it seems.... It is all about what you did wrong. He had an affair with you, this scenario (his wife finding out either way) was not that far away really. I am with mercury on this that cheating is really devastating, period. So he has made this choice, and now things are unraveling. What will happen has a lot to do with what he choses, but do bear in mind that he has acted without integrity as well, so it's not all on you. We scorps have a tendency to really self-punish at times. It is one thing to love someone fully, with humility, it is another to hate yourself in the process. As hard as it is, try to step back from this situation (even physically) so you can see it with fresh eyes. Ciao for now 🙂

Hi Merc and Hi to you too scorpoffchart :-)

It's ok Merc you weren't being nasty, i didn't take it like that - i appreciate your honesty, I would always rather hear things as they are not all sugar coated.

I did call him, but as he was just heading into a meeting and couldn't talk we have arranged a time to catch up later this week - a time where he knows he'll be free. I was so nervous calling, i know that sounds so dumb but i'm just so convinced that he'll dump me if he hasn't already. He seemed really different on the phone, a gentleness seemed to be back in his voice - and guess what Merc?? Believe it or not he appreciated my text saying i was praying for him, which i was surprised to hear after what you'd written, surprised but relieved u got me all stressed!!!

Scorpoffchart - thanks for your input too, it also helped me to put things into perspective and i can now see the turmoil he's in. Yes i do love him enough to accept that he'll be with his kids if that's what he truly wants, coz it's his happiness that is my focus. I'm being very unscorpio like arn't I haha??!! But when we scorps mean something, we REALLY MEAN it - it's not bullshit, it's sincere and you can put 100% trust in what we're saying, right?? We're not into bullshit on any level - we tell it like it is and we like to hear it as it is.

Now Merc, about the scorpio being unfaithful thing - we would only consider straying if we are bored because our attention spans aren't that great. We can be full on passionate about something, we live and die for it then all of a sudden six months later we'll wake and and think "naaah, over it!!". The thing is tho, with Pisces they keep us intruiged because they're on our level. They give us what we crave and never tire of it, so we would never cheat on you, we have no reason to.

Put it this way, since i met my pisces man and we lost contact back in 2001 i have not dated anyone - my heart was always with him, no one compared to him and even tho i never even thought i'd ever see him again i just never found my head being turned by anyone else. I've been cheated on too, my marriage ended that way as did just about every other relationship i've ever had (stay away from Leo's) so i undertand your caution. Maybe give it some time for your heart to heal before you get involved again, that way you'll be able to give the best of yourself :-)

Will keep you all posted, thanx so much for your advice xoxoxo

Hey rizzo, Now that you explained a little more about your situation, I can see that for you this is it! We scorps can be so all or nothing, and it is obvious this is all for you. I truly hope that you have a good not overly judgemental friend who you can talk about this with. I find that people don't understand the scorp's all or nothing attitude. It is not easy to be that way, but we don't really care about easy do we 🙂 And I think that it is not "unscorp like" for you to feel so unselfish in this case. True, it doesn't happen often with us (as opposed to pisces) but when it does it is wonderful. It is awesome that you want only the best for him, whatever that is according to him. Yet I can't help but feel a little sad that your love couldn't have had a little more lucky breaks. But of course fairness is a myth, so you are brave for dealing with it the way it is.

Question - how do you think he can get unconfused? Pisces can be a little bit too fluid and easily influenced. He sounds like he can't sit down and put things in some sort of logical order. From what you said about how both of you weren't sure of the other's feelings it says that he may not be from the pisces who follow their intuition easily. Do you know if he is trying to actively figure out things the way you are doing here? My best friend's a pisces, and while she is intuitive she can get exasperated pretty easily. Have a good one.

Hi again Scorpoffcharts - in answer to your Qs I think that he is trying to put things in logical order, but the emormity of the pressure he's getting at home right now from 'her' and 'her' friends and 'her' family would be unbearable - i can imagine that 'she' would be going out of her way to make his life a living hell (which he said anyway, but i kinda knew that coz she's like that), but not content with that she'd be putting on the big sob story to anyone that will listen so that they all beat him over the head too - instead of trying to understand "why" and draw close to him, she'd be making him feel like satan incarnate. And lets not forget that when i first met him back in 2000, she wasn't on the scene because she'd moved out, with the kids in tow, because she'd met 'someone'!!!

Anyway, i know only a scorp and a pisces will understand it when i say that its almost like can feel his pain in my heart - indescribeable it is.

As to your Q about having a friend to talk to...it's just you and merc at the moment!! But i gotta say that chatting with a scorp and a pisces is helpful beyond words. I do find it tough that no-one understands the all or nothing way we think - there's no inbetween. But its more than that, coz it's all or nothing and i want it YESTERDAY!! My pisces man is wonderful coz he's so sensible and see's the bigger picture and he's always "whoa, now hang on minute..lets just step back and take a look here" which is so what i need, but it's been my downfall this time...LESSON LEARNED...BIG TIME. So I really appreciate you and merc spending the time to help me out :-)

I think the reason he wasn't overly intuitive way back when had a lot to do with how i portrayed things, i didn't get any hint of "ooh he likes me" from him, had i had just the tiniest bit i would have drawn a confession out of him i can assure you (we're so good at that arn't we), but because i had such a good poker face in response to his he didn't feel secure enough to just come out and say it, after all his 'woman' had left in the not too distant past and we all know where our self esteem is around that time, in the toilet!!!

Still, if all i can do for him now is help him to sort things out in his own mind then that's cool, i feel so desperately for him coz i can sense how alone he feels, no safe refuge from the storm coz of how things are at home and all...must be utter hell.

So will let you know what happens when i talk to him tomorrow...cheer :-) riz

...wondering how this situation is going right now...what's up ?

Mercury, I don't think she's logged in these days... I would like to know too.

I think I agree with Tiamat too.

I also believe you are being way too hard on yourself.

He left his wife once already, he could leave her again. And if they are not in love, why couldnt he be honest with her about what you two were feeling for each other? Something isnt right here and your scorpio insticts should be in full alert mode. You may love each other, but he isnt willing to do anything about it but avoid you for four weeks? Absolutely not!

Dont wait around for him. Live your life. If he knows you are constantly on the back burner waiting for him...that is just what you will be doing...waiting!

If he thinks he could lose you/will lose you/has lost you....he will either man up and spur into action....or he will do what he is doing now and stay with his wife and family.

Im sure he loves his kids. And maybe he can never leave them...but how fair is it of him to treat you this way?