Scorpio guy, asking for advice about a pisces girl

Hello everyone, I've been looking around just to ask for some help with this pisces girl I know. Im a scorpio and I was quite surprised in how I fit the bill without even trying to. In anycase, Recently I've found myself attracted to this girl (which i found out was a pisces). She was very shy when i first met her, but lately we started talking to each other.

So there's this really great girl I know that I talk to on occasion. When I first met her months ago, she was definitely a looker but I never did consider dating her. I've always been the kind of guy who gets attracted to a girl AFTER I get to know her personally. Anyway we got along fine in our social circle then the usual FB request, but otherwise no contact. She was extremely shy and kept to her self, only joining in when her close friend is nearby. As for me I was being my usual scorpio (apparently) self. I just observed her on the sideline, paying no real interest and just checking if we would get along.

Fast forward months later. Over this time I've tried to establish rapport with her and get her situated. We had a pretty cordial friendship. So one day I catch her by herself reading a book. (Game of thrones) Which at that time I was just finishing up myself. I ended up chatting her up about the whole series (books and tv show) and it was fun. Over the course of the next couple of weeks when I'd see her we talked about it, branching out to other hobbies (painting -which I showed her some of my works). Now at this point I've found myself paying more attention to her and her mannerisms. Finally realized I was hooked, line and sinker.

A few weeks earlier, her birthday came along. We talked about her plans for her weekend (she was going back home to celebrate with family). I joked that if she ever partied before her trip, she should let me know so I can go out with them. She smiled it off and said sure and before we parted ways I gave her my gift (The Game of thrones books she didnt have) and I was happy that she was excited.

Afterwards nothing really different, just the usual conversations when we see each other. For myself though I really was falling hard for her, so I gathered up the courage to finally ask her out.

Now I know she was still single from the last time I checked with some of her friends(happy surprise) so I decided on asking her out. I figured she knows me enough that she wouldnt mind if I asked her out in a roundabout way. I wrote her a poem and slid it in her locker, texting her to check it before she left work.

Later on she tells me how sweet it was, and so I asked her if she wanted to go out for lunch or dinner the next few days (she works odd hours so I wasnt sure when she was free). Her answer was "that sounds fun but I just actually started seeing someone. We should definitely get some people together to go hang out soon though". (Here I am thinking I blew it). I attempt to save face and say "well that was awkward, sorry for putting you on the spot". "Not awkward, Its ok" was her answer.

Did I just miss my window, or have i just been friendzoned? I know she's a really nice girl and did not want to put me down hard. Its been a few days since that happened, and yesterday I texted her a "good morning" followed by a quote which pretty much says I'm thinking of her. I know i'm definitely acting out my scorpio tendency to overthink and obsess over her. But should I just go cold turkey and not contact her anymore?

When you put it like that... Yeah I have to back off. Sometimes I wish how i get attracted to people works differently, all that time spent making sure. So I'm definitely backing off and not gonna initiate any contact unless I have to. (Our departments work together now and then so can't really go incognito). Thanks, now i have to go brooding under my rock 🙂

Situations like this make me sad. : ( I hit it off great, as friends, with guys, but then they say they're only interested romantically....and then we never talk again. Makes them seem shallow in my eyes, but I understand to a degree. Just like them, if the other didn't want to be friends, I would probably leave the situation, too, to make it easier for us both.

Anyway, to get back to advice...I would say, yes, stop trying to send her anything that hints at your attraction to her. She can't do anything with it, you already tried, and even if you're trying to make her feel liked, she has a different guy to make her feel that, now. If you must stop talking to her, go ahead. Not sure if that will earn you any points with her if she does become single again, but at least you won't be waiting around for someone who's taken. Good luck.

My going incognito is most likely just me protecting myself. (Which apparently is a scorpio'ish habit) Its not like there's an off switch for my emotions, and if I keep up the regular exchange we've been having, I feel that I'm just gonna dig myself a pit which will be harder to get out off. I do want her to be happy, but I'm afraid that if I keep myself in the picture it would just make it more awkward for her, and anything I do or say might be biased (I tend to be asked for advice a lot) just because I like her.

I've tried staying friends with girls that turned me down, for one reason or another. I try to be mature about it, considering its not really their fault that I started having feelings for them, so I keep up appearances and act like it's not a problem (but it really is). Yes I can be friends with old paramours, (even great friends) but the key word is old after I have moved on. That takes time and sadly it takes me a LOT of time to get over someone.

It really makes me sad because she blows everyone else I've had a serious relationship with out of the water. She's caring, very friendly, smart and shy but she also has this other side to her that you won't see unless you knew her. She loves art (she doodles a lot at work when she's bored), fantasy books (which was our first common interest), very emotional (everytime she gets criticized I just want to wrap her in a shell and whisk her off, she looks really upset when this happens), grey eyes I can just sink into, and she has a really great laugh along with this smile that perks me up. Sigh I could just keep droning on.

TL;dr

I do wish we can still be friends, but even though I can keep my emotions in check, I cant promise to do that 24/7 forever. Which is really more selfish

a) cutting my self off so she doesnt have to worry about me (not even as friends, just remain acquaintances)
b) stay as a friend, act like nothing's changed, but with her thinking i have this "ulterior motive" to make her mine?

Oh I appreciate any feedback at all. Sometimes even if I know what to do, I just need someone to tell it to me. Thankfully I wont be seeing her at work for a couple more days so I dont really have to dodge her. Just need to control myself and not send a txt or call.

I dont think its rejection at all. As a pisces.. id say timing was bad. You are on her radar bc you gifted her the books but she just can't pay full attention right now bc of the pe4son she's seeing. If keeping your emotions in check is hard.. then I would say back off totally and be scarce. Say hello once in a while but. . Keep dialog minimal. We sense that. But I think we almost always become interested in those who make us laugh, who appreciate and respect our interests and who we can observe in public among friends.

Posted by NovemberSun
As Scorpios, I feel we need to learn to challenge our view of what "rejection" is. We feel 'rejected' and that ignites our extremism, triggering out need to go underground, cut people off, or sting back. We need to transform our perception of rejection into something more benign and loving (like that something or someone wonderful wants to love us with as much depth as we can offer, but it might not be this particular one person).

Its then (in this kinder surrender) that I feel we can enjoy life amidst our many passionate desires.

It is hard. I'd have thought at this point in my life I have grown past that, but this latest paramour just broke down my emotional walls. But when I do go "underground" its not that I cut off outside ties. It's moments like these that I dive back on activities that lets me channel my emotions. Poetry and music has been a boon for me during moments like this. Its been years since I last held a guitar and wrote in my journal, but it all just pours out so easily.

At th end of the day though I still think back about this event. I want to understand that it wasn't an outright rejection, but being an analytical person, I just keep thinking she said this words as a courtesy (like a free get out of jail card). I can't really go prying about it without invading her privacy. I feel like, I could weather a "you're not my type" answer than what she gave me.

I am probably just ranting now. I just dont really have anyone right now who understands the real me. (My bestfriend is overseas for his work, and m other friend just moved out of town with her family). Moving around a lot really cuts down my connections with my inner circle of friends/

Posted by EusiveSoulll

Posted by shortii
But I think we almost always become interested in those who make us laugh, who appreciate and respect our interests...

Most definitely...

click to expand

I hope so. Do you really think I at least made an imprint for what I did?

Because for me, I'm a person who appreciates a random 5 $ giftcard given to me just because they want to, than a 50 $ gift on my birthday.

Posted by shortii
I dont think its rejection at all. As a pisces.. id say timing was bad. You are on her radar bc you gifted her the books but she just can't pay full attention right now bc of the pe4son she's seeing. If keeping your emotions in check is hard.. then I would say back off totally and be scarce. Say hello once in a while but. . Keep dialog minimal. We sense that. But I think we almost always become interested in those who make us laugh, who appreciate and respect our interests and who we can observe in public among friends.

Thanks, again. I appreciate the advice. Cant say I'm looking forward having to talk to her at work. But it would be nice to see her though.

Just an update.

Its been two weeks since we last talked. We ended up working together tonight. It seems like she wants to pretend that I never did say anything to her so I'll just let it go and not bring it up again. Just normal conversations about work now and nothing else. I still cracked the occasional joke, but I'm making a point not to be near her if I dont have to.

Thanks a lot for everyone's advice. Now I'll just crawl back under my rock and recuperate.

Ow... those lyrics were spot on, had to search for a translation though.

If the "other" guy is not a scorpio then definitely she 'll be right back to you. Trust me she'll be imagining you when she have sex with him lol.