Speech styles

I identify two types of speech:

Sweet talkers;

Harsh and direct talkers;


Everyone likes sweet talks (not me) apparently. But from what I see, it's usually for stupid people. Stupid people like sweet talks. Because it pose no challange for them. No challange, no growth = stupid people.

Harsh and direct takers; those people tell things as they come. No beating around bush. Right or wrong, they tell what it is. These people present people challange. They cause others to grow, which in return cause growth backwards.

Result; Sweet talk is for stupid. Harsh and direct talk are for intelligent people.

I believe there's a certain time and certain moments for slush puppy/candy coated talk - but I'd rather call it "playfully connecting charm" than just sweet-talking.......and of course, there is a time and place for lay it on line, heart-speak stuff, tough-love speak............the genious for me rather is in the timing and the words.....and for my way of thinking the person who can't operate between the two and and swing one way and t'other depending on the moods and the needs of the people involved - well I'd just call them "blinkered"...........there you go Haffo:-) - so I guess I know what category you're gonna put me in:-) xxx

"Forget the reality.....heavy on the gloss~~~~~"!!

Alana x

Starfish225

Sweet talk only brought people passivity in my experience. None of sweet talk is moving. Rather, the harshness itself in speech is exactly what creates the distress signal which brings people attention to important matters. The tone itself is the most important part. You cant talk sweet with distress tone. So you have to be harsh and in distress tone. Otherwise you waste your time.

This is how I see it right now and I dont think there is another way.

Al

Timing is subjective. My timing might be wrong for your timing. And thus I can't escape from being called harsh.

I think me and Starfish255 need to whisper sweet-nothings into your ear Haffo - then come back to this board and dare to say "I don't think there is another way"......

A x

What? What's your point?

Then don't you think encouragement is same with sweet talk? And how can you dare encourage people while you spit it out on them? It looks like two opposites.

Think who succeeded in making the man take off his coat, Haffo, in the famous story— Was it Miss Encouraging Sunshine or Mister Harsh Wind— Easy peasy:-)

A x

Oh you keep distance Starfish225. Well I understand what you say, but my experience tells that this way is less effective. Anyway thanks for opinion. I prefer to hit the idea itself in one shot rather than beat around the bush. I do not manipulate people.

Al

Things are far more in roots. People grown up without being close to people, will feel directness as unpleasant. On the contrary, people who grow up with being close to people, will feel directness as genuine answer and take it as a form of comunication. It's the most genuine and trustworthy speech style . I would trust such person more than I do to anyone other explained above. It has it's own point.

"I would trust such person more than I do to anyone other explained above."


Yeah, that's where it hits for me too, Haffo .. if someone is just saying something to be nice, so they look sweet, when inside, they are feeling something else .. all trust is gone for that person .. I respect the person who will look me in the eye and speak the cold hard facts, no matter how harsh.

I'm with ya 🙂

🙂

However, when I talk to people .. it's in the tone in which they spoke .. so, it's also double-sided with me. However, not necessarily harsh or sweet, rather, mimicing their tone.

If someone talks about problems, or why they don't like somebody or something .. I talk to them in the same manner .. they are looking for a problem, so I give it to them.

If someone talks about what they enjoy, or why they DO like somebody or something .. I talk about what is beautiful about it.

When people talk to others, they are looking for something specific .. people who want encouragement in a situation, don't talk about issues .. if they are talking about issues that are harsh, then they are looking for reasons why they are RIGHT .. that's what they get from me.

It happens all the time in here .. someone come in here and say that their b/f did this, what a jerk .. they are looking for support from other people to confirm that what they just told you, did indeed make him a jerk ..

Justice .. that's all they want .. someone to justify to them why they did what they did and to tell them they were right .. it makes no difference whether they actually were right nor not.

For me .. I want the truth .. spit fire, if that's the truth.

Never met someone like that.

sweet talk - i think i am more prone to agree or at least listen with much added interest, if the truth is spoken with a certain amount of respect, and calm, first. You can be sweet-charming, rational and sincere, just the same. Just because someone uses 'harsh talk' doesn't make something instantly true, or makes them more intelligent. i'm sorry, but harsh talk for the sake of harsh talk rarely impresses me. i sometimes think there are people who also may use it for extra attention or drama, as well.) - only exceptions, is when all other avenues have been exhausted, or in self-defense; then i fully believe in harsh talk/sometimes referred to as tough love. i'm not close-minded about harsh talk, but only if used with focus, sincerity, first.

-i also believe there can be a middle-ground between the two..

I think he means more so .. direct vs evasive

People who are "sweet talkers" as he puts it are essentially avoiding the issue at hand, when they do so just to make themselves look good .. they would rather just have people view them as nice and likeable, rather than have any effetive conversation, which leads to growth. Sweet-talkers stay stagnant .. they don't learn anything. Such as: People respond to people differently .. not everybody can be talked to the same, but, a sweet-talker doesn't recognize this .. they only recognize whether they gain a support group of superficial people through "sounding" nice.

Real and effective change comes from people talking to you directly, not beating-around-the-bush .. as well as, change to the person talking with this directness, for the talker of hard facts then can experience the REAL reception of the other person, and not just a reaction of something being glossed.

Action vs Reaction

Action = direct talking
Reaction = sweet talking


At least, that's how I interpreted what he was trying to express.

Good point, P-Angel, i think everyone is 'interpreting' the question a little bit differently, then the next person...'hence the diverse answers.'

rubbish Kris.

Message posted by: haffo on 3/9/2007 9:32:53 AM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.111

"Result; Sweet talk is for stupid. Harsh and direct talk are for intelligent people."

I can vouch as I speak that way, clearly and forcefully. Politicians sweet talk.