State of Flux

Hello fellow fish friends.....I have a question for you....have you been in a state of flux where you make a decision and follow through and it just does not even parallel to what you had in mind? So you make this drastic change and realize you had no idea how miserable you would be.

I moved back to my hometown and I absolutely hate it here. I feel like I am trying to plant roots here and I am planting a garden in the desert or trying to make that circle fit into a square peg. I hate the state of ending and beginning it has been the story of my life this past year.

I am contemplating moving back to Denver because there simply are no jobs here. The only way I would consider staying is if I get this job at a non-profit center as the resource development director. If I don't ge the job, I feel like I need to bail because there is nothing up here other than labor intensive jobs.

I am frustrated beyond belief because I made this huge step for what seems like nothing. I am frustrated and ready to pull my hair out. Please share any state of flux stories.

Thanks!

PD

the difference between reality and the dream

Skin,

The irony about what you are saying has been my realization.

My lesson, we can romantacize anything we want and dress it up with fluffy dreams, but you are right the difference of dreams and reality.

PD

My lesson, we can romantacize anything we want and dress it up with fluffy dreams, but you are right the difference of dreams and reality.

Yep, I hear ya PD (are you an old user by any chance —)

There are a few things that I dressed up in my mind when it came to 'real-life' stuff. I have been disappointed about anything but I do understand that I have to re-group.

"are you an old user by any chance —"

Yup, I used to be Ldybg377. I deleted my profile and came back a few months ago. My life has been a series of transitions, and I found myself spending too much on a site that really became an unhealthy part of my life. My lesson in that is when I become emotionally drawn into this site of what is posted......I need to take a break and re-group. You see it a lot on here .....where peoples emotions become glued to what is posted here. I now see this site as pure entertainment.....nothing more or less and remind myself to not get caught up in the dramas that fill these boards and to take everything posted here very lightly and remind myself that these people on these boards don't know me from Eve.

Back to the subject....another lesson. We can paint any picture we want of anything and it is how we see it and feel it. I have not fully given up on the idea that this place cannot be good because there are many things I love about living here .....being close to my family is one of them. That has been a huge part. I have learned that being away for so long .....I am not the same person and to a certain degree feel like I have outgrown my hometown. My theory on life we cannot whine about it forever .....1) Do something to change the situation. 2) Let it go and accept the situations.

I have my little spreadsheet out of why I should stay and why I should leave. *Sigh* I do realize the next move I make has to be more permenant as going back and forth is not healthy either. *Sigh*

PD