I'm falling in love with a Pisces man and I didn't mean to. My husband of 13 yrs passed away a year ago. A few months after, I joined a dating/forum site. I just wanted to feel connected to the world, maybe meet people and chat. I have 4 boys and a very busy life but lonely too. At the end of July this man messaged me. He is smart and funny, he makes me smile. I mean really smile, like all the way to my soul smile. We messaged back and forth and then text and talk for about 2 months. In Sept I finally got the nerve to ask him out and we met for the 1st time. We spent 8 hrs together and not once did he make me feel like he wanted to be anywhere except where he was, with me. At this point I knew he was a Pisces but didn't really know anything about it. We have texted and talked everyday since that 1st message. Yet I still feel sometimes like no matter how much we talk, we are missing something. He never asks anything about me, I only talk about me when it comes up in conversation. I feel sometimes like he doesn't really want to know who I am because he never asks about my life. I've learned all about his life, but I still feel like I have no clue who he is.
Over the next few weeks if I didn't ask him out, we didn't see each other and I also have always had to decide what we are doing when we go out. I have since learned that indecisiveness is a Pisces trait. I try to encourage him to decide and let him know that I am game for anything he wants to do, but even now he still leaves it all up to me, even still the asking out part too. I told him once that it would make me feel very happy if he told me he wants to see me and surprised me. He still hasn't. The only surprise has been that when I suggested we meet at his house for movie and cuddle night he actually said yes, that was just a couple weeks ago. I decided that I would accept this part of him and just make our plans all the time because even though he doesn't make the plans he is always ready to see me when I say and wherever I say. Lol. We live an hr apart and being busy we only see each other once a week. One time a few weeks ago we went 3 weeks between due to weather and him canceling once and he hurt me because he pulled away, as he had done before after going 2 weeks without seeing each other. This last time it hurt worse because he opened his online profile back up. {He has since then taken the photo's down but left the profile up} It is as if whatever I feel we are building means nothing to him.
I try so very hard to let him know how I feel about him during these long times apart so that any insecurities don't arise but in the process of trying so hard to make him feel wanted I started to feel unwanted. I give him his space even though when it takes him 9 hrs to text me back it hurts. I'm busy too and still text him to let him know I am thinking about him and want to know how he is, or how his day went. I feel sometimes like I am putting everything into "us" and I don't even know if there is an "us" because he still withholds himself. I'm afraid to have the "what are we" talk with him because the one time I tried to get serious I felt him pull away, quite literally. He said once that the last time he shared his feelings he got hurt. I have been patient and caring, simply waiting for him to know that it is safe for him to let me in. Don't get me wrong, when we are together there is no doubt that he feels something for me, something wonderful and true. We connect. But when we are apart it feels to me like there is a disconnect and any more than a week apart I feel like I am losing him. It hurts to feel this uncertainty, not knowing what he wants from me or if he even knows himself. It's as if he doubts me or himself maybe, I don't know but if Pisces are so intuitive why does he doubt me when all I have ever been with him is real.
Anyway, I'm sorry, this turned out to be longer than I meant. My main topic is that I am falling in love with this wonderful Pisces man when I had no intention of falling for anyone, especially someone who won't even let me know how he feels about me. I get so confused by his on again, off again behavior and I would just like to know if there is anything else I can do to show him that I am here and I am not going anywhere unless he tells me to..{I told him that once, he didn't respond} so here I am, still patiently waiting for him to let me in. But I don't know how much longer I can put myself into us without getting hurt myself if he isn't willing to put more of himself into us too.
Me.. Taurus sun, Aries moon, Virgo rising/despite the Aries moon I am very introverted
Him.. Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, rising unknown {I asked him, this is just another time he didn't respond to my question}
Thank you Placidd. Moving on has crossed my mind, but I am the type of person who believes that if there is even the slightest chance, and I care about the person, I will fight for it. He makes me believe there is a chance every time we are together. He was hurt from his last relationship, over a yr ago. I truly believe he was hurt very much and that it takes time to get over being hurt for emotional people, as I too am a very emotional person.
Rain, Thank you. There is no force, as I said above, I am a patient person, I have not tried to force in anyway. I agree, it's his choice if he wants to invest in me.
I guess I'm just looking for some in-site into Pisces males, at this point in our "relationship" do I have a fighting chance..{figuratively speaking of course}!