Urgent help. Want my fish back!

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by nats on Tuesday, July 4, 2017 and has 48 replies.
Hi guys,


Posted a few weeks ago about a Pisces I was having a FWB with and then I went on vacay for 10 days.


Anyway she had been distant since I got back etc this morning she texts me saying sorry for being distant and that we probably shouldn't communicate anymore. I told her I wanted to speak in person. We both left work and spoke for an hour over coffee. She said theres someone else in the picture. A long time friend who admitted her true feelings to her and she wants to be exclusive with my fish.


My fish told me she likes her but not sure if it's enough to be committed and she doesn't want commitment right now as she is still hurt from her sag ex and if she got into a relo with this other person she felt it might be a re bound and not because she truly wants to be in a relo. Also told me that she doesn't want to lose what we have but knows if she does enter the relo she can't continue to see me because she doesn't want to be a "cheater". Anyway broke down crying about things related to her ex which recently popped up. I comforted her. She said it wasn't supposed to be like this with us, I was just someone she was supposed to sleep with without emotional ties but I'm the only person she feels comfortable talking about how she truly feels inside and breaking down in front of.


I asked her if that was it between us and she said she'd walk to the station after work with me (before I went on vacay we'd walk every day). Anyway, we both went back to work and she was texting me continously all day... sometime she hasn't ever done before and at least not as consistently or responding as quickly as today.


Then she told me she'd see me tomorrow when we got to the station. I told her I wanted to talk to her about some things but felt today wasn't the right time considering how stressed she is with her decision making and her ex etc. I basically want to come clean and tell her how I feel. I want her to know I DO see potential with her and I DO want to date her in time once she is completely over her hurts.


Question is.. is she too far gone? Do you guys think I can swing this Pisces back my way?


She said she is confused about the whole sitch with the other person and feels super stressed in having to make a decision but that she is enjoying her single life.


Do I cut this as a loss? Or do I fight for her?
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oh dear


what have you gotten yourself into


sounds like you are the one who is too far gone.



she's not healthy right now and the fact that you are entertaining her sounds like you are unhealthy as well.



i've been in your shoes before


heck i'm still probably you.


save you self mate....


don't let the mermaid drown you

i know how alluring and beautiful she can seem.

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Uughh! I just want to be there for her. I started off no feelings and seemed like she was having them and now its me with the feelings and she's like "whatever".


I want her but I need to understand from other Pisceans as to whether theres a fighting chance considering the other person now in the picture or should I just let it be..?
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Your talk sounds like you're trying to negotiate a deal. I don't pick up on any signs that convey that you are actually liking her as a person ... it's more like an object you're trying to win.


Certainly, she will pick up on that. she probably has picked up on it, since you aren't even one of the people she is considering to be with.


her feelings are teetering on two people, you're not one of them .... so, it's safe to assume that she already realizes that you're not sincere.


You must have an ego the size of Texas.
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Pisces women are somewhat the most confusing in the star chart and most hypocritical. I'd leave it alone and let her swim back to you if she really wants you. It doesn't hurt to communicate on a normal level to let her know you're still in the lagoon.
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just be in your regular routine,just be casual friend..she will swim back to you if she misses u..or if she likes u..dont focus on her but let her feel u care for her..go try the aquarius way to protect their heart..detached and aloof
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LOL LePetit - I literally LOL'd at your post. But you make a point.


We spoke today. I asked to see her after lunch and she agreed. Was all good and then she asked what I wanted to talk about.


It took a lot but I came clean and expressed my feelings and that I didn't want a relo at this present moment but in the future she was someone I def saw myself with.


She let me speak and then her turn came up and she said she feels exactly the same way I do toward her hence why she's felt torn between what we have and this other person. She said me being in the picture is why she hasn't given the other person a decision but she is 100% she doesn't want a relo right now and knows she isn't ready and is enjoying her single life and what we have going on.


She said she was really thankful I was honest with her and expressed how I felt about everything.


We both went back to work then she text me asking to walk to the station together. We did and caught the same train. Had a good laugh on the train ride and she got off at her stop and text me straight after saying "best convo yet".


So maybe I have a glimmer of hope and she will remain single.
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Adding to that..I hope she was being honest and not just saying that to make me feel better ??
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Do I cut this as a loss? Or do I fight for her?



Dude, do you actually know what the acronym FWB means? FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. She wants sex. She doesn't want a relationship where she dates, lives w/the guy, meets his family/has Christmas over, etc, etc, etc, and then she get her heart stomped on. When you and she labeled it as FWB you both fell into the meaning of the acronym and again, that's all she wants. Seems like you are INFATUATED with her and you fell for her. Just ride this train and see where it stops. Pisceans (like Moi) go with the flow. We don't think about tomorrow as we live for today. You're the stubborn type that keeps posting here about your Piscean; she was NEVER yours to begin with ("Urgent help. Want my fish back!"). "My" is possessive; meaning you own her, sorry, you don't. "Just go w/the flow"


Hug cyber hugs!


Love,


Eva
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I think I read this a total different way... I feel like you keep telling her you don't want a relationship but I feel like she does. She is choosing this other person because they clearly want a relationship with her but she has feelings for you so she got mixed up because you keep chasing her. She decided to drop you because you were sending mixed signals and don't know what you want. I understand wanting something more when you can't have it, but take a step back and ask yourself if this is REALLY what you want because she has probably known this person a lot longer so she knows it has more of a probability of working out for her. Look at whats best for her and yourself.
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Posted by Adreamuponwaking
oh dear


what have you gotten yourself into


sounds like you are the one who is too far gone.



she's not healthy right now and the fact that you are entertaining her sounds like you are unhealthy as well.



i've been in your shoes before


heck i'm still probably you.


save you self mate....


don't let the mermaid drown you

i know how alluring and beautiful she can seem.





We are all in the same boat.

Seeing the beautiful mermaid on the rocks.

Then they try to drown us when we get to close.

JUST LIKE IN PETER PAN!!!

Love your message

User Submitted Image


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Have you considered being friends without benefits?
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She got into a relo with this other girl last week. Told her if we could talk and she agreed. We had lunch together. Spoke about us and her new relo. Told me she was terrified. I asked her if she thought I could have ever made her happy had we ever went down that road and she said yes that she felt we could have been amazing for each other and she was so tempted and wanted so badly to have me the way she wants me but she's never cheated and wasn't about to start now.


Kept looking deeply into my eyes, smiling and mentioned twice how sexy she thought I was. Then she said one thing was that I had high expectations when it came to sex and that made her feel insecure like she wouldn't have been able to perform to my standard and I looked her in the eye and said that wasn't true and if there ever was something "I'd hold your hand through it" and she stepped back and like looked away from me and was like "wow we need to go now" I asked why she said that what i said about holding her hand through it was really sexy and it really turned her on and didn't want to get carried away.


We walk out of the place heading back to work and its raining and she's wearing heels so holds my hand to try and not slip, I changed the way we were holding hands so our fingere were proper interwined and we were holding hands sooooooo tightlt like as if that was the last time we were ever going to speak. Also forgot at lunch she asked if we could be friends I agreed but said I needed space and time to get over my feelings in order to not want more and just be friends.


So we get to the front of her work and we hug SUPER tight and for ages. In the 2-3 months I've known her its been the longest and tightest hug. Then we walked away.


That was last Wed. We haven't spoken at all. I text her last night about 6 being casual asking how she was and that we should catch up for drinks dinner or lunch. She responds this morning at 830 saying "lunch today 12pm" the another one straight after "I have so many ways I want to reply to your message but I'm tired and I just wanted to respect the space you asked for".


I responded back with "Damn. No hello? No hey how you going? Just BAM! Straight into it" and "Just reply however it was that you wanted to" and so far no reply back..


What the hell did she mean in her text?!
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@nats...you are nuts!!!
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Posted by nats
She got into a relo with this other girl last week. Told her if we could talk and she agreed. We had lunch together. Spoke about us and her new relo. Told me she was terrified. I asked her if she thought I could have ever made her happy had we ever went down that road and she said yes that she felt we could have been amazing for each other and she was so tempted and wanted so badly to have me the way she wants me but she's never cheated and wasn't about to start now.


Kept looking deeply into my eyes, smiling and mentioned twice how sexy she thought I was. Then she said one thing was that I had high expectations when it came to sex and that made her feel insecure like she wouldn't have been able to perform to my standard and I looked her in the eye and said that wasn't true and if there ever was something "I'd hold your hand through it" and she stepped back and like looked away from me and was like "wow we need to go now" I asked why she said that what i said about holding her hand through it was really sexy and it really turned her on and didn't want to get carried away.


We walk out of the place heading back to work and its raining and she's wearing heels so holds my hand to try and not slip, I changed the way we were holding hands so our fingere were proper interwined and we were holding hands sooooooo tightlt like as if that was the last time we were ever going to speak. Also forgot at lunch she asked if we could be friends I agreed but said I needed space and time to get over my feelings in order to not want more and just be friends.


So we get to the front of her work and we hug SUPER tight and for ages. In the 2-3 months I've known her its been the longest and tightest hug. Then we walked away.


That was last Wed. We haven't spoken at all. I text her last night about 6 being casual asking how she was and that we should catch up for drinks dinner or lunch. She responds this morning at 830 saying "lunch today 12pm" the another one straight after "I have so many ways I want to reply to your message but I'm tired and I just wanted to respect the space you asked for".


I responded back with "Damn. No hello? No hey how you going? Just BAM! Straight into it" and "Just reply however it was that you wanted to" and so far no reply back..


What the hell did she mean in her text?!


You are pushing her,her message is clear,yep you said you wanted space so she dosen't want to bother you with messages

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Of course I'm nuts im a Gemini ?. And I'm not disputing what she is saying but I'm curious as to when she said she had so many ways she wanted to reply to my message... like THAT I don't get.


And i'm not trying to do anything with this girl. I realised I want her around and to be her friend and I'm an adult and CAN be JUST her friend and respect her relo.
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Posted by nats
Of course I'm nuts im a Gemini ?. And I'm not disputing what she is saying but I'm curious as to when she said she had so many ways she wanted to reply to my message... like THAT I don't get.


And i'm not trying to do anything with this girl. I realised I want her around and to be her friend and I'm an adult and CAN be JUST her friend and respect her relo.
Maybe she have a lo of things to say but she is holding back because you want space,she is respecting that,i'm not sure what you want , encourage her to text you ..don't be rude haha
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I don't know but you are confusing me too..
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Posted by LoveSeeker
I don't know but you are confusing me too..
Lol how am I being confusing? What is confusing you?


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Posted by LoveSeeker
Posted by nats
Posted by LoveSeeker
I don't know but you are confusing me too..
Lol how am I being confusing? What is confusing you?


Ok i will try to follow you,i'm getting mixed signals ,you want her to talk to you yes or no?


what did you mean by giving you space lol,because when a pisces say that means :i don't want to talk let me alone ,but maybe for geminis is different..
click to expand
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I told her last week at lunch I needed time and space to get over my feelings then we could be friends. She said she understood.


Then I text her last night asking to catch up. It's been a week and I feel I'm OK now. I don't need weeks or months and she knows I get over things fast.


So she said lunch today. Anyway then she said what she said about having so many ways to reply to me (wtf does that mean).


She actually just replied going "is that a yes".


Anyway when I said about space I obviously meant no contact so I could get over her. She didn't contact me and neither did I and now I feel OK to proceed with solely a friendship with her.


Still confusing?


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Posted by seraph
From your title for a good second or two I thought someone made off with your aquarium. And it kinda got to me.
Hahahaha I wish it were actually that LOL


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Posted by nats
I told her last week at lunch I needed time and space to get over my feelings then we could be friends. She said she understood.


Then I text her last night asking to catch up. It's been a week and I feel I'm OK now. I don't need weeks or months and she knows I get over things fast.


So she said lunch today. Anyway then she said what she said about having so many ways to reply to me (wtf does that mean).


She actually just replied going "is that a yes".


Anyway when I said about space I obviously meant no contact so I could get over her. She didn't contact me and neither did I and now I feel OK to proceed with solely a friendship with her.


Still confusing?


Oh you know i wasn't in the story haha,so yeah i understand now.yeah don't worry it's her way of saying she have a lot to say but can't cuz you are talking as friends now so she hold herself back


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Have a salt baked sea bass with bay leaves instead smile.


Anyway, I'm also confused! I thought I've red all this thread but did you say that she rejected your advances? So that you gave up hope and now are trying to be "just" friends ?
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Posted by nats
She got into a relo with this other girl last week. Told her if we could talk and she agreed. We had lunch together. Spoke about us and her new relo. Told me she was terrified. I asked her if she thought I could have ever made her happy had we ever went down that road and she said yes that she felt we could have been amazing for each other and she was so tempted and wanted so badly to have me the way she wants me but she's never cheated and wasn't about to start now.


Kept looking deeply into my eyes, smiling and mentioned twice how sexy she thought I was. Then she said one thing was that I had high expectations when it came to sex and that made her feel insecure like she wouldn't have been able to perform to my standard and I looked her in the eye and said that wasn't true and if there ever was something "I'd hold your hand through it" and she stepped back and like looked away from me and was like "wow we need to go now" I asked why she said that what i said about holding her hand through it was really sexy and it really turned her on and didn't want to get carried away.


We walk out of the place heading back to work and its raining and she's wearing heels so holds my hand to try and not slip, I changed the way we were holding hands so our fingere were proper interwined and we were holding hands sooooooo tightlt like as if that was the last time we were ever going to speak. Also forgot at lunch she asked if we could be friends I agreed but said I needed space and time to get over my feelings in order to not want more and just be friends.


So we get to the front of her work and we hug SUPER tight and for ages. In the 2-3 months I've known her its been the longest and tightest hug. Then we walked away.


That was last Wed. We haven't spoken at all. I text her last night about 6 being casual asking how she was and that we should catch up for drinks dinner or lunch. She responds this morning at 830 saying "lunch today 12pm" the another one straight after "I have so many ways I want to reply to your message but I'm tired and I just wanted to respect the space you asked for".


I responded back with "Damn. No hello? No hey how you going? Just BAM! Straight into it" and "Just reply however it was that you wanted to" and so far no reply back..


What the hell did she mean in her text?!
So I was right LMAO Dude you are confusing the HELL out of her!!! You told her you needed space

so she is trying to give it to you. She needs it too because she doesn't want to cheat on this new girl. She's tired because her feelings are all fucking CRAZZZYYYYYY, poor girl


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Posted by Undine
Have a salt baked sea bass with bay leaves instead smile.


Anyway, I'm also confused! I thought I've red all this thread but did you say that she rejected your advances? So that you gave up hope and now are trying to be "just" friends ?
He didn't want a relationship.

They were both sending each other mixed signals.

She does have feelings for him.

He thinks he may want a relationship in the future but not now.

She moved on to another girl.

Now he wants her for sure, I guess

She's not gonna cheat on her new girlfriend so they both want space now.

She doesn't want to cheat and he wants to be more than friends now. IDKKKKK
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Posted by Brittnie
Posted by Undine
Have a salt baked sea bass with bay leaves instead smile.


Anyway, I'm also confused! I thought I've red all this thread but did you say that she rejected your advances? So that you gave up hope and now are trying to be "just" friends ?
He didn't want a relationship.

They were both sending each other mixed signals.

She does have feelings for him.

He thinks he may want a relationship in the future but not now.

She moved on to another girl.

Now he wants her for sure, I guess

She's not gonna cheat on her new girlfriend so they both want space now.

She doesn't want to cheat and he wants to be more than friends now. IDKKKKK
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He? Who's he?


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Posted by LoveSeeker
There is no Fking "he" in the story, only two confusing women
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Hahahaha yeah well Brittnie is pretty much on point but change all the references from "he" to "she". We're all females...


I know she didn't want to be 100% in this relo with this other girl but felt kind of forced into it and she admitted that too. It sucks. I was too slow. In trying to protect myself I lost what could have been good.


She never rejected my advances. Everything was perfect. She was chasing me. We were seeing each other everyday up to twice a day. She'd open up to me emotionally and cry on my shoulder and tell me her fears and her raw emotions about things. We were tight. I went away on vacay for 10 days and we didn't speak at all. She tried speaking to me during vacay and I cut it short being the idiot that I am.


I get back and she's weird. Then it goes back to normal. Seeing each other everyday (her always asking me). We go for dinner, she comes onto me, kisses me, is affectionate. I try and go home with her and she stops me then we don't speak for a few days. I ask her whats up she tells me theres someone else who wants to date her but she is unsure and is confused about her feelings and know if she gets into that relo her and I would end. Anyway I come clean about how i truly feel about her but make it clear I'm not ready for a relo atm but I would def date her in the future. She agrees she feels exactly the same way hence why getting into the relo has been such a hard decision and stressful. Says if she doesnt get into the relo with this other girl she will lose her forever (thin the other girl is a Taurus) ans has been waiting for her for about 10months.


Anyway she ends up getting into a relo with this girl and then the rest is in my post from today/last week.


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Posted by Undine
Posted by Brittnie
Posted by Undine
Have a salt baked sea bass with bay leaves instead smile.


Anyway, I'm also confused! I thought I've red all this thread but did you say that she rejected your advances? So that you gave up hope and now are trying to be "just" friends ?
He didn't want a relationship.

They were both sending each other mixed signals.

She does have feelings for him.

He thinks he may want a relationship in the future but not now.

She moved on to another girl.

Now he wants her for sure, I guess

She's not gonna cheat on her new girlfriend so they both want space now.

She doesn't want to cheat and he wants to be more than friends now. IDKKKKK
He? Who's he?


click to expand


Whoops, I meant Nats.

replace he with Nats lol

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Posted by nats
Hahahaha yeah well Brittnie is pretty much on point but change all the references from "he" to "she". We're all females...


I know she didn't want to be 100% in this relo with this other girl but felt kind of forced into it and she admitted that too. It sucks. I was too slow. In trying to protect myself I lost what could have been good.


She never rejected my advances. Everything was perfect. She was chasing me. We were seeing each other everyday up to twice a day. She'd open up to me emotionally and cry on my shoulder and tell me her fears and her raw emotions about things. We were tight. I went away on vacay for 10 days and we didn't speak at all. She tried speaking to me during vacay and I cut it short being the idiot that I am.


I get back and she's weird. Then it goes back to normal. Seeing each other everyday (her always asking me). We go for dinner, she comes onto me, kisses me, is affectionate. I try and go home with her and she stops me then we don't speak for a few days. I ask her whats up she tells me theres someone else who wants to date her but she is unsure and is confused about her feelings and know if she gets into that relo her and I would end. Anyway I come clean about how i truly feel about her but make it clear I'm not ready for a relo atm but I would def date her in the future. She agrees she feels exactly the same way hence why getting into the relo has been such a hard decision and stressful. Says if she doesnt get into the relo with this other girl she will lose her forever (thin the other girl is a Taurus) ans has been waiting for her for about 10months.


Anyway she ends up getting into a relo with this girl and then the rest is in my post from today/last week.




Well to answer the topic is question ,yeah fight for her....


you are just not clear with your intention ..a lot of misunderstood..did you send her a message to clarify this? or just a normal message to check her out
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How am I supposed to fight for her when she made the decision to get into this relationship after knowing how I felt about her.


I'm even surprised she agreed to meet me and we're having lunch. Assume she still wants some type of friendship with me. I want her. I want to be with her but she's in a relationship right now and I know her decision to get into it wasn't made lightly.


Id do anything to win her back.
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You also pretty much told her that you have feelings for her BUT don't want anything serious right now, didn't you? She picked the one who did. I think both of you have been playing it a bit too safe by reassuring each other that you don't want a serious relationship. To me it seems like you both actually do. (Maybe not necessarily with each other).
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Posted by peo


You also pretty much told her that you have feelings for her BUT don't want anything serious right now, didn't you? She picked the one who did. I think both of you have been playing it a bit too safe by reassuring each other that you don't want a serious relationship. To me it seems like you both actually do. (Maybe not necessarily with each other).
Yeah well if she came to me now and said I will be with you properly no bullshit no nothing then I'd be with her. I'm terrified of course but I'd work through it for her.


Thing is we HAVE been playing it safe out of fear the other one may not want the same. She is still hurting from her ex who's a Sag and it's her first heartbreak and she has major baggage still and I got out of a 5 year relo in August. I told her I know she still needs time to heal before getting into something serious and I was willing to wait for her (told her I was willing to wait after I found out about her and her new relo) and she responded with "I never asked you to wait. Why are you saying this now".


Anyway what's done is done. I'll just be her friend.


She seems eager to see me today.. she is suggesting different places for lunch otherwise she would bring her home made food and we could have a picnic. Told her I look like shit as my skin is breaking out and im due for my monthlys and she replied with "I'm sure you look fine" and the heart eye emoji lol


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Posted by Brittnie
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
oh dear


what have you gotten yourself into


sounds like you are the one who is too far gone.



she's not healthy right now and the fact that you are entertaining her sounds like you are unhealthy as well.



i've been in your shoes before


heck i'm still probably you.


save you self mate....


don't let the mermaid drown you

i know how alluring and beautiful she can seem.





We are all in the same boat.

Seeing the beautiful mermaid on the rocks.

Then they try to drown us when we get to close.

JUST LIKE IN PETER PAN!!!

Love your message

User Submitted Image


click to expand


Beautiful and deadly


apparently how I like them.




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You're playing head games with her by talking out of both sides of your mouth to her, and then acting all innocent and confused.



Oh, and to address your question ...... what she meant is that she has more than one brain cell, which means she has more than one thought, and could have said any of those thoughts.



Which is way above and beyond your ability .. considering how one-minded you are. You appear to have only one brain cell working at a time, since you are absolutely clueless as to what it means when a person says they have multiple thoughts.



You sound like that other lesbian sodapop, or whatever her name is, who is constantly coming in here to act stupid, just after telling us she's a predator (chases after her friends sexually)



Wait, are you also telling us that you are preying on your friends?
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LOLL come on P-Angel. No need for the negativity. I just asked a simple question. I'm not acting nor trying to act in any type of way.


Yeah I made stupid decisions with this girl. I know this. And I don't hook up with my friends. This Pisces was never a friend to begin with. We spoke a few times and went out for dinner then slept together and continued to do so and became friends and had a connection.


Now we're here. Not sure how it is I'm playing head games? Everything I've posted here about her I've said to her. I've been open and honest with her.
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OK.


Let's say that you were really open and honnest.


Now why you say something and you do something completly opposite


Afraid of what?
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But what did I say and do that was opposite? When we started we both said we didn't want a relo. She made that clear to ME.


Then we caught feelings which we admitted to each other. Then i went on vacation. I came back. She was distant. I then admitted I did see a relationship with her but I wasn't ready just yet and then she tells me some other girl wants a relationship with her.


Afraid of being hurt. Afraid of opening up to someone completely again and it just not working out. I'm not ready to deal with that.
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Still not seeing it. I said I didn't want a relo and then decided I did? Or that I wanted a relo but in the future as I wasn't ready just yet?


Uuugghhhh
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When someone says "I'm not ready for a relationship", what the other one hears is "I don't want a relationship with YOU".


Obviously, the Pisces likes you a lot since she spends so much time with you. She probably senses that you are lying to yourself...you do want a relationship with her! Stop making excuses and go for it. Stop hiding behind the Taurus....because if you do, there always be a "Taurus" in your life taking away from you something you want. Those who give up too easily end up with crumbs.
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But I told her I wanted to be with her I saw myself with her but felt neither of us were ready. She has even told me herself she wants to be single hence why I know jumping into a relo with the Taurus was kind of forced.


OK now that she is dating the Taurus how am I supposed to win her back? I do want to be with her!


She replied to an email of mine today in which I said if I had it my way she'd be with me and she replies with "I hate that I feel safe with you p.s don't ask about that comment because I don't have anything to say further just take it for what it is".


Then I asked her to lunch but she's already got lunch plans so she suggested later this arvo instead and for us to meet at the spot we hung out at the other day.
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Thought I'd give an update...we spent Friday night together it was fun and she didn't tell her gf.


Monday morning she texts me early telling me her and her gf had a fight. We then have lunch and an intense convo. She tells me she's scared to get attached to me. Monday night she asks if she can come over to "rest" because her housemates are having people over. We watch a movie in my bed, it ends and she's touching my arms and kissing my shoulders. We eventually have sex and after it she cries. Asks what I'm going to think about her now and that she isnt this person. Says shes mentally exhausted. Her feelings are everywhere. Theres feelings with me and feelings with her gf. Tells me she shouldnt see me anymore because she cant control herself around me.


During the sex she wouldnt let me kiss her because it was just a "f*ck" and unfair to the gf (what?). Then somehow we kiss and she doesnt realise it? Anyway then this mornint when she left she kissed me. Before we fell asleep I told her I felt she was going to dissapear and she said it was for the best. I tell her its unfair. Anyway she wasnt supposed to sleep over but she ended up staying after I convinced her.


Guys what the hell. Do I just give her space?
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Posted by nats
Thought I'd give an update...we spent Friday night together it was fun and she didn't tell her gf.


Monday morning she texts me early telling me her and her gf had a fight. We then have lunch and an intense convo. She tells me she's scared to get attached to me. Monday night she asks if she can come over to "rest" because her housemates are having people over. We watch a movie in my bed, it ends and she's touching my arms and kissing my shoulders. We eventually have sex and after it she cries. Asks what I'm going to think about her now and that she isnt this person. Says shes mentally exhausted. Her feelings are everywhere. Theres feelings with me and feelings with her gf. Tells me she shouldnt see me anymore because she cant control herself around me.


During the sex she wouldnt let me kiss her because it was just a "f*ck" and unfair to the gf (what?). Then somehow we kiss and she doesnt realise it? Anyway then this mornint when she left she kissed me. Before we fell asleep I told her I felt she was going to dissapear and she said it was for the best. I tell her its unfair. Anyway she wasnt supposed to sleep over but she ended up staying after I convinced her.


Guys what the hell. Do I just give her space?


That would be the ideal thing to do, but this world is not about ideal things, hence it's all about what you want, so if you want her go after her, either she is a cheater..... or she really loves you

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Besides, it would have been the best to not get involved in this drama , but since you did it would be a mistake to let go of it now
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You're right XCOM. However she just text me saying "My head and my heart is everywhere. I just need space. Thank you and TC".


Do I even reply? Or just let it be??
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Posted by nats
You're right XCOM. However she just text me saying "My head and my heart is everywhere. I just need space. Thank you and TC".


Do I even reply? Or just let it be??
i would write something along the lines of how good it was to be with you and that you felt really special and after that act like your busy
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I know this is a few weeks old, but...


Nats, I was in a similar-but-different position about 3 years ago, with a Pisces girl. We weren't FWB, though... she was at the end of a bad relationship so most of our connection was emotional until he had moved out and we could be together.


After that, for a short while it was very hot, and very awesome.


It didn't last long, though, before she told me that she had decided to take him back, "for the sake of the kids". I could tell that she was very torn about it; she kept texting me, telling me that she loved me and really wanted to be with me, etc.


We kept talking as friends for a few weeks, but it wasn't the same. Then one day she just stopped replying.


A few months later, she texted out of the blue and we talked for hours. But once the conversation ended, we didn't talk again for months. The whole time, I felt like she really wanted me, but was consciously forcing herself to choose another man.


And that cycle repeated for about 2 years. Any time they would argue or anything, I was the crutch she would lean on for a short period. But when she felt better, she didn't need me anymore.


That continued until one day last year, when she broke up with him again. She texted me to tell me about it, and asked me to come see her at work. I thought we were finally going to be together and was really very excited, but then she told me that she was already dating a new guy.


Since then, she's texted me twice but I've ignored them. She's still with the new guy, so I can only guess that she still intends to use me as that crutch any time things aren't perfect. Which is soooo unfair to all 3 of us (me, him, and her).


Reading your story, that's what it reminds me of. She wanted to be with you, but made a decision to be with someone else. Now, when things aren't perfect, she comes back to lean on you... but eventually she's going back to the other one because she's still somewhat loyal.


The question you have to ask is, what do YOU want? Do you want to be an emotional crutch? Are you OK being an occasional side piece? When/if they eventually break up, do you want to be with someone that made you their second-place trophy? Those were the questions I had to ask myself, and they weren't easy... it turns out that I was OK being a second-place trophy, but not a third-place trophy.
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