what are the first things that attract you to her

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by Keef on Saturday, February 9, 2008 and has 35 replies.

2 sharks swimming in opposite directions:
Easy to talk to (I'm a piscean I'm easy to talk to) pretty feet and legs,eyes and lips.
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OK I'm a woman so I'm gonna answer this from the pov of what first attracts me with a GUY. Tongue
Looks: Eyes, smile, skin, height (I like my men fairly tall - although not too tall as I'm only 5, 3" lol) overall I like a dark sort of look in a guy - hair eyes etc.
Personality: Easy to talk to again, a guy who seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, an easy sort of charm about him doesn't try too hard and who makes me laugh.
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Mutual understanding, humour and a geniune person....someone not so laid back that you need to beat their ass to get any action out of them...someone intellectual...
In terms of looks...tall, dark and handsome..oh and glasses do shit for me...intellectuals etc
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I do like intelligence in a man but someone intellectual to the point of taking himself too seriously and not being able to laugh at himself I find BORING.
I guess it's about having all the right qualities........in moderation.

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Well I'd prefer a guy to be more intelligent than me, because I like to be stimulated mentally (Merc in Aqua), and good conversation is a must.
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I think the main thing is they're not up their own arse lol. Tongue
Honestly arrogance bores me to tears.
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I know what you mean - I love confidence in a guy, but again it's all about moderation.
It's all about perception though I guess, I arrogance to some is confidence to another and vice versa.
I totally agree with you on your looks preferences btw way lol, a good strong jaw and defined cheekbones on a guy just kills me. Winking
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I would have to agree too...someone not up their own ass..because you know what, they are usually very boring...they have nothing other than themselves to talk about..
I don't mind laid back but not bordering on laziness..I am action orientated and need to do stuff...you get to know someone more via activities..(not those activities)...
Mental stimulation and a good conversation is a must..it really is...without that, physical can be great but longevity comes from mental stimulation
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"I don't mind laid back but not bordering on laziness"
Agree with that too MM, although there are times when I just want to kick back and chill I'm quite spontaneous and will often say "right let's go out and do something different" on a whim and I need someone who is up for pretty much anything and can just go with the flow try something new.
I used to date a guy who would only ever go to the same old pub, because he was "used to it" and he liked it. It used to bug the hell out of me because I wanted to try new places but he would never relent. And yes I did leave him lol.
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Having spent 2 days with the pisces..it dawned on me how boring he really is..he didn't want to do anything apart from sit inside and well having gone to see him, I would've expected to be at least taken out etc..just to show the appreciation...I didn't get anything from him emotionally or in terms of fun...I think this one is doomed...Haven't heard from him either..apart from the couple of texts when I got back..Hmmm..a fishy being non emotional after 2 months spells trouble in my opinion...
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I agree with you Thetis...I am quite a homebody too..I love my home and just doing nothing at times...but like you, if I am up for going out, I would expect the guy to be into going out as well...Fun is good...you need to go out and have a laugh...
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What's happening with the Pisces now then MM how long has it been since you've heard from him?
I'm actually having to stay in this weekend because I'm skint and it is driving me CRAZY I can never sit in for too long because I get so bored. I'm not one of these people who can sit and watch telly for hours, it takes me to sit through a film lol.
I'd much rather be out and in company, and lots of, doing something, anything just being on the go. I think that's prob because my chart is mostly air (the need for constant stimulation) and fire (the need for action).
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I don't know whats happening with him to be honest Thetis..I am not getting any emotional connection with him...he's too much into the physical thing and that doesn't sound right to me...I am not feeling good about it..I heard from him on thursday..not like him..he's usually constant with his contact..but then traffic lights are constant..lol..he's also very responsive with texts etc..i text him earlier and he hasn't responded..not like him as he responds right away....like I've said before..conversations aren't meaningful..after 2 months of constant contact someone would open up a little emotionally..not getting that..
I have a lot of planets in House 1..making me very direct, blunt and action orientated..I need to do stuff...sitting inside bores me to tears..but at times I can do nothing all day and I am fine with it..i can be a lazy ass too..but not all the time..
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Hmm that's a tough one. The thing with us is that you never know why we retreat, with me it doesn't always mean "the end" or that there are issues with a relationship. Sometimes I just feel the need to retreat and recharge, but I am terrible for letting others know that because I'm quite a private person. But then it's not very nice for the other person sitting there wondering what's going on. It's just that when I don't know what to say, I end up saying NOTHING.
Sometimes we want the other person to reach out, and sometimes we just want to be left alone for a bit so it's a difficult one to judge.
Having said that I'm not excusing this in the slightest, people need to know where they stand and it's unfair to expect someone to just "know" what's up. We can be bad for that, we forget that sometimes we need to actually tell people what's going on lol.
Yeah having a lazy day is great now and again, I just can't do it for long because I get so bored.
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My issue isn't with his contact..I don't mind if he doesn't contact every day..as I am pretty crap..I am responsive but crap on initiating..my issue is with his evasiveness with feelings and non stimulating conversations about nothing..he avoids everything with just being a wind up merchant..and pretending to be "the man"..Yawn...I've not had one good conversation with him since the initial chase..
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Didn't you say he has his moon in Gemini? Same as me.
Yeah we don't deal too well with emotional stuff, which is weird because Pisces does. So there is defo a conflict there, although it depends on the individual.
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He has Gemini rising....moon is in Scorpio..so you'd think emotionally he was there with me seeing as my moon is in cancer and house 8 (scorpio house)..but no...dunno....see how it goes I guess..but If i am not feeling it then I don't want to waste my time...and like I said..he seems to be all about the physical (sex) not emotional which is a turn off...everyone likes physical but not harping on about it all the time..how boring is that!
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Good question, Hmmm..well I am not the worlds best person at expressing myself emotionally but yes I do try and initiate them..but he avoids them by taking the piss and just being a wind up merchant to be honest..He did before, he just doesn't do them anymore...everything is just one big joke to him and well he always try to be funny by acting hard..I don't even mind if the conversation wasn't emotional but just a deep conversation..even if its about politics, current affairs whatever..just a conversation...
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Have you told him how you feel about this and asked if he's only there for the sex? Actually, you could do this with a comment next time he brings it up: "You only want me for one thing." Then he'll either have to fess up, or he'll tell the other reasons why he's with you. Pisces men are shit about talking about their feelings, but so are Scorps. You are alike in this which is what makes communication about it so difficult. It sucks to always have to be the initiator, but it sounds like that's the only way you'll find out what you need to know.
I'm with you on the not wanting to waste my time on someone who's not giving what I need, though. I'm done with that.
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It would be nice for him to discuss things with me...that brings people together..but to me..he keeps things on a superficial level....Gah!!
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Yeah I am going to confront him about that.....I don't like things to be just physical....i get that its important..of course its important for everyone..but its about quality not quantity...and I don't want to continue with someone always harping on about physical...I am quite a prude when it comes to that kind of thing...
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You think? Well when I had a go at him about the fact that he's always going on about sex and that it makes me feel cheap etc etc...he said "you know how I feel about you woman..at times I say those things to wind you up...so why do you feel that way..those are just words and expressions, you need to learn the difference and get with it"
Oh I dunno...I am feeling all confused about him...Maybe I am feeling guilty that physical isn't good because well women are programmed that way if it happens too early...
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2 sharks swimming in opposite directions:
I also like (love) a plump kissable ass. Hey fellas come on where are you on this? All I'm seeing is comments from the ladies I had a reason for asking this question. I met someone in a business type of situation and I like her.(very rare for me because I am distrustful of initial meetings)and I started thinking what is it about her that I particularly like.
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I wouldn't say it was insecurity..its more a case of women being programmed into thinking if the physical happens too quickly then well emotional needs to follow or happen at some point..and if it doesn't, it begs you to question the motives...men attach emotion via physical act of love..women do it via the emotional...as long as there is a good balance of the two, then I have no problems with the physical...so my problem stems from him displaying lack of emotion..thats what I need to clear up...
Interesting you say I am making him responsible for that...as he said the same thing...The only way to figure it out is communicate..so I shall do that..the minute he calls..cos he hasn't for the past 2 days..very unlike him...Meeting wasn't disastrous as far as I am aware..it went okay..not great bu okay..
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Keef what is with the "two sharks swimming in opposite directions" on every post of yours?
And what star sign is the new business chick?
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Hey MM, did you say before that he used to be a lot more open with you, and that it's only lately things seem to have backtracked onto a purely physical level?
If that's the case then it sounds to me like he's hiding for some reason and so he's using humour to get out of any conversation he thinks may turn uncomfortable. I've done this myself, although there have been lots of different reasons for why I've backed off - sometimes it's because I can see things going much deeper and it scares me. And when that happens I need some time out to asses the situation and how I feel.
I definitely think you need to raise this with him though because it's not doing you any good not knowing where you stand.
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Yeah he just doesn't discuss stuff, you know like where he thinks its going, whether we are exclusive (although his actions insinuate we are)...and yes everytime we meet its physical which is to be expected but I don't want it to be like that all the time..he said if we lived nearby then it wouldn't be physical all the time but having missed each other for a month, you can't help it..
its not like we don't talk..we do..and everytime we see each its not like, right we jump each others bones and thats it..there is an element of affection but not to the level I would expect it to be..He's just very brash..He's very rough around the edges if you know what I mean..but he was like that from the start..very blunt and upfront..all his relationships have been like that..physical..But you are right, he's avoiding discussing those things..when we have discussed it, he's not annoyed or anything..he just says he's not working me like a business plan, he doesn't like to plan anything he goes with the flow and see where things go..he doesn't like to plan stuff cos if it doesn't happen according to the plan then it leads to disappointment..He does text or phone every day..so its not like he doesn't commnunicate..he's just weird and its pissing me off..I just hope I don't get bored of it and move on..cos I will if he continues like this...
How was your drunken night with your friend? lol..I miss those days..but going out next week, my pisces friends birthday bash..dinner and dance..can't wait to swing those hips baby!
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"he's just weird and its pissing me off"
lol welcome to the wonderful world of dating a Piscean. Tongue
Seriously we ARE weird, and we don't always know how to talk about what's going on internally because we don't know ourselves half the time. There are Pisceans who will just blurt out whatever it is they're feeling/thinking at the time and then realise later that's not what they feel/think. Then there are those of us who like to just keep quiet until we're absolutely sure, that way we're not letting anyone down or giving them false expectations.
My night was good thanks, my friend just text me out of the blue saying she'd just finished work and was bored and did I fancy a drink lol. Ended up being quite a few people there, good laugh was pretty sozzled didn't get home till 4am. Tongue
Birthday bashes are always good, and you can't beat having a good old boogie. I'm having a big night out in Glasgow for mine at the end of the month - can't wait!
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I will give you a snippet of our earlier conversation so you get an idea of what I have to put up with:
Me: Oiee where have you got to
Him: sorry babe, my inbox was full and I deleted your message anyway I am sleepin
Me: Fine if thats your attitude
Him: Yes it is, you know my sleep is more important than you, now do one
Me: could you be anymore rough around the edges! whatever go do one yourself, so out of order
Him: Mwah!
Me: Forget the Mwah. You could've just said Hi even if your inbox was full lame ass excuse. Anyway go do what you do best..sleep
Him: Fool I didn't have your number, I have my grannies phone..I told you I lost mine..pay attention woman..I don't have any numbers stored on my grannies phone..and if I deleted your message I didn't have your number to reply with
Me: Whatever...anyway too nice to stay inside, off to the gym..later
Sigh...moron...I hate him...
Yeah I can't wait to go out..gonna doll myself up proper..haven't been out for a month..been trying to save up...(not happening really!)
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Wow that would do my box in I have to say and I'm not even quite sure what to make of that lol.
Does sound like he's being slightly evasive though.
A night out will do you good yeah, I'm the opposite at the moment though I'm trying to stay in lol, never happens though - someone always calls last minute and I end up either out or at someone's house for a party. Saving up is not something I do very well!
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Don't worry about it..I will have the talk with him...I am prepared for whatever way it goes..really don't give a shit anymore..he's always like this..He tries to act all hard...he's a sensitive little creature underneath it all...but hides it very well...either way I will find out and move on to whatever is required...If I don't know where I stand..then I can't be fucked with it...a little bit of hard work is fine..but not this much..never had to work hard for anything..and not about to make a start..lol
Tell me about it!...I am sooo crap at saving up its unreal...have so many debts..that I am going to clear this year..I have made it my mission to..One needs to have a few shillings for a rainy day..hark at me and shillings..anybody would think I was an ol codger..lol..Man I am bored...aching all over from the gym session earlier..but hey at least I have fab abs..lol
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Aww thanks MPisces..I like your analysis...It really does make sense and its unbiased....Yep I sent him a letter actually just explaining how I feel about the situation and for him to open up a little more emotionally...so I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way etc..It wasn't meant that way..and I will explain to him when he phones etc...Yep I do like him, but I am also not prepared to take the bullshit..and you're right, nothing worth keeping comes easy...I am tough..but at times I get carried away with it all..you know..the control issue....that conversation illustrated control moreso than insecurities...I need to just chill out man!..lol..always on the war path but he gives me ammunition and he knows it too..the bastard...such a wind up merchant!
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I blame nearly all my planets being in house 1 - direct baby and very aggressive...Rrrrarrr..lol...bloody planets..I need to be a little softer..maybe he's upped his anti cos he knows not to appear weak..well he does have a moon in scorpio..gawd!..lol..I am dealing with the emotions of my own kind..crikey..
God my bloody legs hurt...that gym session has killed me..how unfit am I!..lol
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Awww..I could almost hug you to death now...Mmmmmmmmwah..
Thanks for taking the time out to explain things..patience is soooo not my strong point..but I am trying...I am trying right? lol...ok I will try harder..
::scolds self::
Yeah man I do kick ass..I know that fo sho.. Tongue
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I don't think you should give up, MM! Men just don't know how to talk about these things. Pisces and Gemini guys are both really bad about it and use humor as their defense. Since his rising is Gemini, he's got a double case of it. His point about it being a LDR and the physical taking over because you haven't seen each other in awhile is VERY true. You have to make up for lost time so to speak.
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