What can you tell me about Pisces man, PLEASE help

This topic was created in the Pisces forum by radar10 on Wednesday, November 9, 2011 and has 23 replies.
Okay so here's the story, Im a cancer sun, moon pisces, and venus in leo, the guy I like his sun is in pisces, moon in Sagittarius with venus in Aquarius. When I very first met this pisces guy, it was about a good 5 months ago, at the time I met him I was instantly attracted to him, BUT at the time I was dating someone... a cancer guy. We weren't in a relationship but we were def going through the process of working towards a relationship. One thing I noticed from the start about the Pisces guy was that he made it very clear he was very attracted to me, liked my personality as we were talking as friends and told me all the time he was a better guy for me then my cancer guy. I didn't like the fact that he was trying so hard to get to know me when I was already kinda talking to someone else, but I still liked the pisces guy very much, he just happen to meet me at time in my life where I was already interested in someone else, but since I wasn't in a relationship with neither of them I didn't see the harm in keeping it friendly with the pisces guy cause I was really hopeful things would work out with my cancer guy, but it didn't. So from that point on he still continued to talk to me which I thought was sweet, so finally we actually went out on a date and had a wonderful time. But because things ended up weird with my cancer guy, I didn't want to rush into being in a relationship. I told the pisces guy, the next relationship I get into I want to be the real thing, so I really wanted to take my time into getting to know him. Now mind you, hes a very good looking guy, popular, goes out to the bars and clubs a lot, and his friends are nice but aren't say the least boyfriend material, so I was always even more extra guarded with him. Fast forward now, we really started to like each other, I knew he always like me more from the start but it took me awhile to finally like him as much as he liked me. Im just old fashioned and I believe in taking my time. Still its been 5 months and we pretty much act like were in a relationship but its not offcial yet.
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Now what Im upset about is this: This whole time we been getting to know each other for the past 3 months, but we knew each other for 5 months. Anyways, we had not sex, because Im serious about him not just getting what he wants and just going about his way. So even though we haven't made it offcial yet, we have been taking serious steps to get to that point. So last weekend when I was over his house, he admited to me he had just recently had sex with his ex of 2 yrs. I know me and him aren't 100% offcial yet but if your so much about making this work then he should respect I want to take it slow, and not just go screw his ex cause hes horny. shes clearly not over him from he tells me, and he said the only reason why they hung out is because she came to get her things from his place and one thing led to another and they had sex. It hurt me because I would never back track and have sex with my ex, I know hes a man and most men can't go that long without sex, but I feel like if he really liked me as much as he said he did, no matter how drunk he was, he wouldn't have sex with her. I wanted to things different with him because I really wanted to have this be about getting to know each other and not just sex. Once we became offcial then yes I wouldn't mind, but after being hurt so many times from guys in the past I really had to take it slow this time. Clearly to me, that says there still some feelings there. So now hes texting me and saying hes sorry for what he did, and he knew it wasn't it right, and now he's even saying he thinks hes in love with me. I forgave him and me and him are fine now, but I told him I don't think I can trust him. He really is a all around good guy, but I don't know if Im wrong for not being able to trust him, but I just don't know how I can. He goes out to the bars all the time, I know how his friends are and that whole time when we were talking just recently, and he went out and had sex with his ex. I do respect him for being honest with me, but this whole I think Im love with you, im willing to do whatever to make you mines, Idk if i really believe it or not. If were not even a relationship yet but SERIOUSLY talking/dating and he goes and sleeps with his ex, im scared it could happen again when Im not around, or even with someone else and i would never know about it. Am I over reacting or what ? Please help !
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Posted by radar10
Am I over reacting or what ? Please help !


No you are not overreacting...if he was really interested in you seriously...no girl would come between you both regardless if you have sex or not...and men can go without sex if they really want to [my ex cancer for one] believe it or not there are men out there that can't do one nighters and are looking for that special one...especially if they have their heart set on a girl...
If he can have sex with the ex once he can do it again and again..the fact that he did clearly shows he doesn't have any feelings or seriousness with you...and clubbing all the time...guys go out to club to pick up no doubt about that...you already know what his friends are like he would be the same no doubt...
Follow your instinct and find someone that has eyes for you only
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his moon in sag is shit...it makes him flighty and not one to sustain in a relationship for long periods I think...boredom sets in etc...
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Posted by piranhaparadiise
Posted by radar10
Am I over reacting or what ? Please help !


Follow your instinct and find someone that has eyes for you only
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I knew for him Im a challenge because I wouldn't just sleep with him right away... from the very moment, I told myself hes not typically the guy I would go for because he seems very full of himself and he knows hes good looking, but when i got to know him he was so sweet, took me out to dinner, introduced me to his family and his friends 3 different times, called me everyday just to see how i was doing, i never once felt he was cocky and I still don't, I just believe he can't be trusted. I mean why go through all that trouble to get to know me, introduce me to your family, just to go sleep with your ex. Im just really hurt because he pretty much waited for the day things didn't work out with my cancer guy. He has a daughter who I met and he's was telling me that back in his day he use to just dog girls, and pretty much be a man whore, but after he had his daughter he changed and hes looking for someone to be serious with. I know that I might be this sweet girl next door, who won't sleep with him but that's just me, im very old fashioned and i don't want to risk starting having a sexual relationship with him and it just goes adrift, because most of the time sex changes everything. I just don't really see how I can honestly trust him because I can't. And I know now its like starting from day one with him again, and I doubt he's going to want to wait forever, but I guess if he likes me/"love me" like he says then maybe he would, Idk. It's just like we didn't even make it offcial yet, and hes already done something by having sex with ex when hes soppoused to be seriously talking to me, where was in his mind ? My ex boyfriend still is trying to talk to me till this day and he gets mad at me and tells me I shouldn't even cordial with ex, but yet he goes and screws his ? I just don't understand it, and I feel like maybe him saying he loves me isn't really honest, maybe he's just saying that to keep me around because he knows im the best he will have. yes im making him wait till i know that were going to be in a relationship but sex isnt everything, and its just so sad for me that i have to go down this road again. But i would like to be friends
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Im upset but I dont like him thatttt much that it would bother me extremely bad if it didn't work out. And like tonight, I was in the hospital and I called him and he was out at the bar with friends taking shots, and he texted me said he loved me, but after that he hasn't responded to my text message after 1, and even though he might not be doing anything, its just the thought im having well maybe hes out talking to some girl, another drunk thing, and probly this time if he did anything he wouldn't admit it, just probly feel gulity. its just like do u give a person another chance and open up to them, i mean we werent bf n gf when he had sex with her, but still whats the point, and i know damn well she hasn't been the only 1, who else i wouldn't know.
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Ok I just read this whole thing. I have to agree on what a couple of ladies said here. If he really was into you he wouldn't have back tracked. It doesn't matter if he's a "man" and that you aren't having sex with him. I can see your plight though. Why would he go through all that trouble and then go sleep with his ex? You know I am going to be real with you. I can guarantee he's still talking to her. Even if he says "Oh we just slept together, sorry about that....." Also earlier in your paragraph you said something about his friends saying he wasn't good boyfriend material? If his "boys" or "friends" tell you that, its a major, major red flag.
You are doing all the things a girlfriend would but you don't have the title. Do you even see what's going on here? Since you are pretty much acting like his girlfriend but you aren't "officially" hes getting his cake and eating it too. He can run around doing what he wants because he has no REAL ties to you. When it comes down to it, yes you are posing as his girlfriend, he's getting all the benefits, but he can also do whatever the hell he wants because why? YOU AREN'T HIS ACTUAL GIRLFRIEND. Oooo that makes me so mad and it's not even me!
You know I am going through a love/hate relationship right now with a Pisces who says he "adores" me but has a girlfriend. Got into it pretty hardcore last night, fought for a good hour. Im not sure why but I've noticed Pisces men have a lot of girls on their string. Clearly advancing toward a girl they like but they have some booty on the side, or have a girlfriend but want to get a little on the DL. Past four Pisces men I've met have done what you posted about (maybe not exactly to a T but close.) I hate them for being so damn dreamy and me getting caught up like an idiot!
And I agree Radar is very pretty!
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Wow thanks so much ladies for all your comments and wonderful feed back. I get what you all are saying, it sucks because now Im getting to a point where I really am getting feelings for him and the fact he had sex with his ex and god knows who else just makes feel like if were to get into a relationship he would cheat. It doesn't matter how pretty or smart you are sometimes with women one girl isnt enough. He's really going above and beyond right now to "prove" to me how much he cares about me and wants me to be his gf. He said "if" I give him a chance he will make me so happy and be the best boyfriend to me. I asked him this morning why he even did it and he said he wasn't even really sure but he knew it was wrong. I dont want to be the dumb girl that gives him a chance and he screws up if were in an actual relationship. I think hes willing to do whatever it takes to be with me, but are his actions honest ? That I don't really know, cause I dont see me trusting him anytime soon. I told him for now, I wanted to keep it as friends because I just cant trust him, and he said he doesn't want to be friends, he wants to be in a relationship with me and hes worked to hard to just let this all go away. And that he will be fine with being my friend just so he can have me in his life.
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I don't want to be 'sort of dating' someone. I don't want to be 'kinda hanging out' with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable and into me, thats why Im not having sex with him.
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Okay, so I gave him a chance and decided that maybe we could try this relationship thing out. The only issue that has been making me delay being in a relationship with him was his ex gf, they were together for 2 yrs and I know that it's hard cutting someone out of your life like that, they lived together and everything, and when he moved on with me I cold tell from what he told me that she still has feelings for him, and we got into a few arugements about it because I let go of my ex 100% and even got my number changed because I wanted to be with him. I knew if I kept my ex around, even as a friend my ex would be jealous and I could never have a fresh start with someone new. I know to a lot of people fb isnt a big deal but it always seems to cause problems, I could really care less but I noticed that he wasn't friends with her on fb and then she friended him because she said she wanted to tag him in photos she had on her camera, they were old photos, but I personally just think it was a reason to be friends with him to check up on what hes doing and our relationship, then at the same time she requested me, I added her at first because I didn't realize who she was, until he told me to just delete her from my fb so I did. I don't mind that she's friends with him on fb but at the same time I do, but Im not going to make a big deal about it, she doesn't really say anything rude or smart so I was just okay with it. Then last night she sent me a friend quest on fb again, I asked him what should I do, clearly Im the new girl and she has a lot of history with his family, shes actually his cousins bestfriend so if there is a family function shes there sometmes, he told me to just add her again and see what happens. So I did, Idk if she was just doing it to be nebby or what, but I know for a fact she still has feelings for him. She may not be in love but theres still feelings. So just a few hrs ago she sent me a message on fb saying she had nothing against me & she wishes me n her ex the best of luck and she hopes to meet me soon. Idk what that is sopposed to mean... but I was nice n responded back. I just think its kinda weird but nice at the same time. Im just nervous my bf is going to think well hey if they can get along maybe we all can be together, she is bisexual and he did joke about saying maybe she liked me.
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I thought the fb message was nice but I dont want her or him having ideas thinking that me and her are going to be bestfriends or something or hang out, its his ex n its just kinda weird to me. Its nice, but Im not going to go out my way to be friends with her, Im just glad that she doesn't have an issue because she is close with his family and if I do see her I don't want there to be any problems. I've met his mom and dad, most of his friends, but as far as his whole family not yet, and he tells me they all love his ex, so as a new gf I feel like I have a lot to prove.
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You sure do ramble on a lot about feelings.
I went to check your history, and it seems that every 3 months or so you have a new guy in which you ramble on and on about how you feel, but never really have a relationship due to your constant insecuries.

Any other thoughts can't get a word in edgewise in your head, it seems .... stop coming up with things to be insecure about with these guys or you'll never be able to have an experience with them that actually includes them.
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Posted by aquaj
Personally, I wouldn't have made such a big deal over it. He used his ex for sex. If anything, SHE should be pissed at him, not you.


Im over that, it just upsets me shes still around in his life, like hes holding on to me and keeping her as a back up, and one a drunken arugment he told me if i left him he would go right back to her, I asked him was he still in love with her and it was like he couldn't asnwer it at first and then said no. Clearly I think theres still feelings there, but i think they both realize that it couldn't work out but secretly holding on to each other. I have to trust him when I he says that he would never cheat on me with her and I don't want to make it a big deal to him about her and him being friends/cool. And now its like shes trying to friends with me or something, we been messageing and she said "hope to see ya soon" ? like what does she plan on sticking around hanging out with him so she can meet me ? Idk what she means by that, maybe thats her nice way of letting me know she wont be out of his life 100% anytime soon and that she will be around. He has a daughter as well not by her but with another women and she grew close to his daughter, she said she even feels like its her step daugheter, so im nervous that if she tries to come around, maybe he will not fully get over her, feelings might keep coming back and it might be hard for us. things between me and him are great and i just dont want her coming into the picture by trying to be cool with me and messing it up. I think shes a sweet girl don't get me wrong, but i feel like she really just needs to move on 100% , i know she was real close with his family and they were together for 2 yrs but its just weird to think he has his ex still in life, friend or not and a new gf.
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I personally do not keep in contact with any of my exes aside from my ex wife due to raising our daughter together. If i were you i would keep it cordial with her but dont stress it, only he has control over that situation. In time you will see if your concerns are valid or if you have a reason to be worried.
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Oh, its so refreshing to see a young lady such as yourself with an actual head on her shoulders! Always follow your instincts sweetie. Yes, if he was serious he wouldn't have backtracked. He wouldn't even want to touch his ex girlfriend. And I bet she didnt just happen to come over to get her stuff. That ole gag.

Great that he told you..but I wonder if he was hoping you would get jealous and feel the need to compete for his affection and give it up. Thank God you didnt!

He may be an okay guy all around, and maybe he genuinely cares for you - but its obvious hes not ready. Hes hanging out at bars constantly, probably getting numbers on the regular, and his friends are probably a good reflection of who he is and where he is in his life. Thats not a bad thing, but not good for you because thats not the guy you want.

So, stick to your guns and move on. He will learn a good lesson and he will respect you. Maybe you will meet up again in the distant future when he has grown up a bit. Good luck smile
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Posted by radar10
Okay, so I gave him a chance and decided that maybe we could try this relationship thing out. The only issue that has been making me delay being in a relationship with him was his ex gf, they were together for 2 yrs and I know that it's hard cutting someone out of your life like that, they lived together and everything, and when he moved on with me I cold tell from what he told me that she still has feelings for him, and we got into a few arugements about it because I let go of my ex 100% and even got my number changed because I wanted to be with him. I knew if I kept my ex around, even as a friend my ex would be jealous and I could never have a fresh start with someone new. I know to a lot of people fb isnt a big deal but it always seems to cause problems, I could really care less but I noticed that he wasn't friends with her on fb and then she friended him because she said she wanted to tag him in photos she had on her camera, they were old photos, but I personally just think it was a reason to be friends with him to check up on what hes doing and our relationship, then at the same time she requested me, I added her at first because I didn't realize who she was, until he told me to just delete her from my fb so I did. I don't mind that she's friends with him on fb but at the same time I do.....


So I just finished commending you and then I read this ^^. So you ignored your instincts because you like him so much. SMH. Bad move. As you will soon find out...
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Well the thing is I'm happy in my relationship with him, so far he has been an amazing boyfriend to me, and I didn't want to hold his past against him because no body is perfect and people make mistakes. I haven't honestly been more happy in a long time. The only problem is his ex gf. She is best friends with his cousin, he told me when they started dating his cousin and his ex became instant bestfriends. Over thanksgiving I was going to over and meet that side of his family but he was acting weird about things, which I knew something was up. So we decided to just both do our own thing with our family, and sure enough his ex was over his aunts house for thanksgiving with his cousin n they ended up hanging out, we weren't together at the time but still its just the factor. For christmas eve I finally got to meet that side of the family and his infamous cousin who his best friends with his ex, and she was actually very nice to me. His ex had reached out to me on fb n said that she didn't have a problem with me, she's happy for him and him, n she can't wait to meet me soon. Personally I think its weird she's trying so hard to be my friend and from her fb updates I could tell she's not 100% over him. So christmas yesterday when we were on our way over his aunts 5 mins away, his cousin calls n says his ex was on her way over there just for a heads up. I honestly was freaked out because I never met her and I honestly didn't want to be around her, he told me just to stay cool and clam and be nice, to him, its as almost if its not a big deal but I told him if the script was fliped he would not want to be around my ex because it would be weird. I know he can't help that his ex n his cousin are best friends but on my part if thinks we can all just sit around the table and be friends and hang out he's wrong. I can fake all I want n act like it doesn't bother me but it really does cause to me that's bagage.
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He already has a child by not his ex but a 3yr old daughter by another woman and you would think if anything I would have a problem with the babys mom but his babys mother is wonderful, she's nice and very accepting of me and even that side of the family loves me and I love him, they are very sweet. But when I was over his aunts, his dads side of the family u could tell when I walked in their christmas day their mood kinda changed on me, they were nice but they were kinda quite around me n not speaking as much to me because they knew any min his ex was going to be there, but lucky enough we left just in time before she came. And I know for a fact she knew I was going to be over there with him. I like almost he has two babys mothers, because his babys mother I understand she will always be around but she's so nice and kind n even has a great bf so its honestly not even weird. But his ex since she is cousins best friend I feel like she's always going to be around, and I honestly in my heart can not just be friends with her. When he was drunk one night he told me himself that if I ever left him he would get back with her n he bragged about if he wanted to be with her he could but he left her n cut her out for me. And he honestly made me happy but when he said that my defense mode came up. And I'm very happy with him now and he treats me very good n we had an amazing christmas but long term idk if can be okay with being around his ex, its just so weird to me and I feel like that side of his family will always favor over me, as his new gf I feel like I have to work twice as hard to impress that side of his family because they grew to love her so much. Its just sooo weird to me that she's trying to be my friend and knew I was going to be over there for xmas n decides she wants to come over to. I just seriously feel so umcomfortable and i m going to tell him and I don't want to break up with him but I def dunno long term if I wanna have a relationship with someone when I have to see their ex on holidays that are special because she's friends with his cousin. I'm just tradtional but idk if its me being selfish or not but it just in my heart doesn't sit right with me.
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drama+emotional baggage= cancer calling card! you are knee deep in it...
Why will you not listen to your instincts? This guy obviously loves attention from women and is kinda feeding off the friction vibe between you and the ex. If he cared about YOUR feelings and did not STILL have feelings for his ex, he'd have no problem putting an end to your communication and "almost chance" meetings. Of course he's very nice to you and a good boyfriend.. because you're providing his emo fix.
I mean.. he told you "If we break up I'd go back to her..." so now you're the dummy for not believing what he's told you.
Really, why are you agonizing about this again? Oh right... you're all swept up in drama and emotional baggage...
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You remind me of that Cap girl, what's her name?
Cap24girl, or something like that.

She gets grossly involved with how she feels and just goes on and on ... but, never really hears anybody or acknowledges anything except her own rattling inside her head about how she feels.
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Yep Capgirl24 is just like that LOL....She can't hear nothing to save her life, all she here is HER FEELINGS...so exhausting.
"he's was telling me that back in his day he use to just dog girls, and pretty much be a man whore, but after he had his daughter he changed and hes looking for someone to be serious with."
I hate to say this but nothing has changed, he's still pretty much a manwhore, hanging out at bars, sleeping with his ex, sending her mixed messages and sending you mixed messages too, getting you caught up in a triangular situation and men who do that are UNAVAILABLE. So yeah he hasn't changed Radar and he's not looking for someone serious, he wants sex, fun more sex and more fun, not saying anything is wrong with what he wants but what is wrong is that he's misleading you to believe he's ready when it's clear he is not ready. If your having fun with him then of course have fun but do not take this guy serious or he'll burn you.
Your self esteem, happiness is too revolved around men, remember you'll never get your twenties back, once they are gone, they are gone and the last thing you wanna do is look back and wonder why you were revolving part of your whole life around losers.
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He's probable thinking three's company. I bet he wants you to become friends in his twisted mind so he can get you both alone in the same room with him. One big happy family orgy. And it was said here before, he's not considering the stress and pressure it's putting on you to be faced with her. Only you can care about you. But like shellshocker and p-angel said, you've already made up your mind to put up with it because you like him so much. He's not really being as good to you though as you want to believe. I don't know why a "friend" gets invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway, it's usually a family thing. Girlfriends and boyfriends however are not that unusual. You are going to get hurt here, when? Who knows, but expect it.
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I'm sorry and I'm not trying to be a bitch but I don't understand the point of this thread. You pretty much made your decison that you are willing to deal with this and stick it out despite him sleeping with his ex.
You say your over him sleeping with his ex but you obviously are not. If you were him sleeping with her again or your paranoia for why she is still lingering would not be in your mind. I'm not saying you're wrong about this but you have to face the facts that you are not over him sleeping with his ex. Another thing is you cannot have a solid relationship if trust is not present or on a solid base. He wouldn't be able to go out with friends or anything without you suspecting he's sleeping with other girls. Ex or not. You will always be on edge and you will always question him and may even go to the lengths of spying on him or setting him up for tests. This is not healthy for either of you.
If him having his ex around bothers you so much be honest and clear about your feelings. How on earth do you think you will have a viable relationship with someone you're afraid to have clear, honest communications with and to top it off you have trust issues. Oh lawd. If you don't step up and tell him hey I don't want to hang around your ex cause I feel awkard it just will build up in you and explode on him when he thinks everything is alright. Which in turn would make you a liar and wrong cause on his end he thinks everything is dandy. If your upfront and honest and he cannot tolerate you saying such then you have your answer if he's right for you. If he can't respect your feelings as a human being yet alone a potiental girlfriend would you want a mate like that? Surely I hope not.
I do feel that you two have A LOT to work on before you even go that route to say we are officially a couple. You can't even communicate with him and you don't trust him for his past actions. If not saying your wrong about the trust thing but seriously.... honestly do you think you can get over it? Don't kid yourself that you have already done so because you're doing yourself a huge disservice.
That's my 2 pence on the subject.
btw I didn't read all your posts because it is busy with it all being in one paragraph. The mermaid in me just skimmed. lol
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