Why do you looking for a date?

Tell me please. What are the reasons?

—?

i dont understand your question

Why do people usually looking for a date? Reasons?

umm,,,probably because people want to find that one person that can love them, and they can return their love

Why?

Don't they have anything better to do? Out of boredome?

it's not out of boredome.
it's out of a urning, desire.
eventually everyone comes to that point in their life...where they want to spend it with someone....so of coarse dating would be the start.

it's out of a urning, desire.
eventually everyone comes to that point in their life...where they want to spend it with someone....so of coarse dating would be the start.

I can show you many disadvantages of being with someone. I can generally say being with someone is worse than being alone. Then is there another reason for that, or just people dont understand well enough bad sides it?

Lady

I'm not content with my current situation. But being with someone is worser than what I have right now. Why should I get into trouble?

i hear what you are saying.
sure there are ALWAYS pros and cons to anything in this life.
i guess which ever outweighs they other...right?
of coase there are better points to being alone. but in my opinion finding that right person there are many more great beautiful reasons to have someone.

but of coarse if you are not happy in a presant relationship then by all means why would you br wasting your time?
maybe now i see why you are so sour about the whole thing lol

but of coarse if you are not happy in a presant relationship then by all means why would you br wasting your time?

My current situation is time relevant. With every passing moment it gets better and better. Therefore I have hope.

But I don't see a point in having someone to care about me. If I need to be cared, I will take care of myself. If I take care of myself, then why shoud I need someone else to care about me?

of coase there are better points to being alone. but in my opinion finding that right person there are many more great beautiful reasons to have someone.

We all are ultimately selfish and lonely beings. Whatever the situation is, we will always have second thought about everyone. An ideal relationship with someone requires total loss of someones ego, which is not possible. Because we are living for ourselves, and loss of ego is impossible. Being in relationship is against our nature.

Then about what kind of reasons you are talking about?

but of coarse if you are not happy in a presant relationship then by all means why would you br wasting your time?

I'm currently not in any kind of relationship. My discontent comes from my personal life. And it changes to better as I said above.

you kind of have a very realistiv way of looking at things and at the same time a very depressing way of looking at things.

But I don't see a point in having someone to care about me. If I need to be cared, I will take care of myself. If I take care of myself, then why shoud I need someone else to care about me?


that is just kind of sad— but hey all the power to ya.
and how would you know if it is impossible to loose all ego over love?
of coarse it is possible.
a lover isin't just a lover but you best friend, if you're lucky enough.
simply someone to spend your life with, the ups and downs, the smiles laughs..etc.etc.
it doesn't have to be so complicated as your making it.
simplicity is aw so beautiful

maybe you have to find yourself some more. know who you are and love yourself.

but it is so easy to get into a relationship ot search for a relationship for all the wrong reasons.!!!

Haffo - For me as you know I have gone on this deep search for meaning in my life and realize I need to find this for me to become whole. Each day I continue to define myself on my own and I have a better understanding of what it is I want and desire. I don't want to get myself in a relationship based on clingy, needy, desires for the sake of having a BF. I am placing myself in the right state of mind of awareness to embrace the right person vs. any person as I have so often done in the past. I will continue to get what I have always received in the past if I continue to settle. Part of this quest means giving up the quest all together and allowing the situation manifest itself. If I want to have someone today and right now the opportunity is there just not the right opportunity.

Exactly, this is what I'm talking about. It appears like people just act on simple desires which I also don't want to have. Those desires could be handled otherwise, so I don't need mind fuck for it. But the total compromis is impossible. Our ego is always there. We always will have second thought about anyone we apparently or supposedly care about. Complete destruction of ego is impossible. Because it also takes away all our desires. We simply become a computer who realise every order without any remorese. Did you see such a person? I didn't. And I don't think you will. And I'm not such a person. Therefore any kind of relationship in its true meaning is impossible. Why care about it then? Why waste your time?

Keep in mind if you think relationships are trouble you will manifest this in reality and your relationships do become this.

Maybe. But if our mind has not settled with this idea completely, second thought will always present there and this is simply self deception. I also think any kind of self deception also leads to unwanted results, no matter how you try to show it otherwise. Our head is always there. As much we will think about second thought, it will affect others and attract them anyway. It's impossible to escape from it.

What I have done is wrote down the qualities I am looking for in a partner that way it becomes a tangible thing. I know this has worked for a few friends. I am still single so obviously it has not worked for me.

That's because either your partner hasn't lost his ego or you. If you would lost your ego, you would go to any compromise without remorse and everything would be fine.

But this is a proof of impossibility of such situation.

Piscesgurla21

The current reality of the world is "sad". Because we live in self deception and don't want to look at reality. If we would look at reality more often, we would develop new life style that would be ideal. And then the reality wouldn't be sad fact.

The purpose of seeking definition in my life is to let go of ego.

So you want to let your ego go in order to find answers?

My search is based on learning compassion and real love.

This is great point. How could you know when you are acting right? Let's say, a person whom you treat like that, continues to treat you like a shit. Does that make your behaviour wrong? If not then you are acting right, but the world isnt at that point to punish such behaviors. You will end up hurt.

I don't think being selective is a bad thing.

This is how everyone thinks in todays world. We have to keep compassion and ego in ballance. This kind of behaviour above is exact behaviour of that. Because you both want to help yourself and not get hurt. You protect yourself. This is your ego that protects you. But for me, this situation is not ideal. It's just a sign that we all running from reality. We dont want to deal with our own shit inside of us first.

We have 2nd tought about everyone coz we are tryin to judge the other person as we are always looking out for the right and best option for ourself.An ideal relationship takes time,Ego goes only when you can trust that person completly and that cant happen in a day.

If you are not sure wether you are with right person, then why do you waste your time in staying there? If you are not sure wether you found a right person, then why to involve? You think you've learned to handle yourself well and are ready handle someone else? I don't think even % 1 of people who are in relationship do know how to handle such situations. For me, they are mostly tactless. They try to deal with things that they do not understand. And make lots of mistakes, such as kids. Some destroy their psyche and somes suicide. Stupidity it is. Isnt it?

An ideal relationship takes time,Ego goes only when you can trust that person completly and that cant happen in a day.

So you just hope that "someday" this person might start getting well with you? So you gamble? You gamble your life, your future, your kids over that?

LOL.

Sorry.

Coz we dont want to be alone.

Then you prove my point. Loneliness causes boredome. And the only way for people like you to relief boredome is to get a BF.

I think life isn't that simple. There are tonns of things that you could accept over a boyfriend and would rather more happy than dealing with boyfriend. Trust me on that.

Its the greatest curse having no one in your life who really loves you.

Yes maybe. But when there is no point in having such thing, it's a waste of time.

Research has shown that those who live /stay alone are more at risk to heart disease,also more % of people staying alone get addicted to habbits like smoking.

Having a wrong person kills. Many people commit suicide. Bad for health too.

And we not just need someone to love us but we also want to love the other person.

Love is something that happens in your head. If you find other means (and there are tonns of them) you would still be happy and wont deal with mind fuck.

Then explain please why do most people break with each other up?

Because they do know each other well?

Coz we dont want to be alone.


I dislike the concep of GF/BF,sounds strange but yes.I belive in love and am in love with love.I know as a human being i want to be loved and love someone.But I am not desperate for someone.And nether I keep looking for a guy.


Don't you think there is a contradicion here? From one point you try to say that being alone is the reason why people get into relationship. From the other side, you try to say, even if you are alone, you are content with yourself and getting a BF (or lover) is an addition to your happiness. The last part is a contradiction with your first part.

Yes I agree,but i guess we are talking about finding the right person not the wrong person.

The goal is that, yes. But how could you know wether you are with right person or not? How could you tell wether this person is honest with you? You can't. The person could perfectly try to take advantage of you by presenting himself in form that he really is not. Do you know how to handle with that? I don't think so. Only 1% of people in relationship coud do that. Therefore, I think being alone is much better than dealing with this mind fuck. Better focus on other things in your life.

I have been through heartbreak as well,Started smoking after that(which i never thought I would).My faith in love was gone but it(love) is too powerful to be harmed by some stupid heartbreaks.

It's actually what your brain creates for you. Nothing more. All those troubles etc are product of your brain. You cause yourself pain because your brain don't know how to handle your life situation. You try to find a way out of your boredome by actually getting more trouble than you have, which is my point of not having a relationship at all. You can see it in your own post. You said that you haven't smoked before. This is your loss. But then you are stating that the power of love is more than what you suffer. For what heck? Who said you that love is stronger about anything? Where did you get that information? I think this is your "belief" rather than a fact. You want it to sound that way, because you somehow try to convince yourself that your actions werent wrong. But in fact, you don't even know yourself what is right and what is wrong. Right?

We belive in love or not belive in it,the fact is it exist.We admit or dont, but we all want it.

It exist in our head. That's all. And it damages us more than benefits us.

There could be many reasons
1)They dont know each other well
2)They dont trust each other
3)They dont connect well................
There could be infine reasons.

Actually it comes to the same source. And the source is people don't know each other well. If you would know what you gonna get in the long run, you could choice. But you cant. See?

To answer all your questions Haffo ....Know thyself.

Indeed.


We create an false ego just because we lack some great understanding. We try to adopt other's understanding, because the universal rules of self understanding are unlcear.


Yet, as you have said, knowing thyself destroys false ego and replaces it with the right one.

How we gonna get to there? That's the right question?

How could we find our center? What it feels like? What to do when it seems wrong by everyone? Does it mean really wrong if everyone else sees it as wrong? What if others are wrong and not you? What are limits of our self? How to hear it?

I think we just need to look into ourselves and find the right frequency. I know it's there. We just need to feed it. We need to learn understanding.

With every passed time, I start to see it more clearly and take countermeasures.

if a caveman was starving, would would he crave...a big mac or a nice juicy dino?
well a dino of coase, because he does not know of a big mac., their simply is no such thing to him.
so how is it that everyone on this plantet, i dont care who you are, craves love to some extent.,,,and how is that possible in this world...let me see as haffo put in....
"
The current reality of the world is "sad". Because we live in self deception and don't want to look at reality"

how is it possiple to "crave" something that we have never expierenced before?
the ultimate love!
why, because i believe that those are our roots that is where we cam from.

Why do you consume yourself with what everyone else thinks? When you know thyself you will not care what others think.

when we figure out why we are really here.

well i was trying to give an example.....
ok?

and tooffence to haffo and ldy...
you both are just depressing people
good luck finding anybody.
or whatever it is you want in this life.
you both just need to chill out and stop looking to deep into things.
that's what's gonna make you kill yourselves one day.


not finding love.

Wise words Brandon.

Why do you think some women want this game thing?

OK Here's another take on all this to throw into the mix... Prefaced first with I believe and agree we do indeed come from love. Regardless of whatever is happening in our earth plane existance, the journey is essentially a return to love. I'm suprised no one has brought up the subject of reincarnation in all this. Part of the journey for us lesser evolved souls, (ie:anyone not a master such as Christ, Buddah, White Buffalo Calf Woman, etc..) is to hook up with others as part of the process to grow. Please consider,that from a karmic perspective,we all have things to work out through others, and with others.. Anyway, that's my take, on why we date.

M Ldy To answer your first question.. Seems there are those who are destined to meet up with one another, and stay connected. I imagine it's more likely for the rest of us to see people come and to go. ( putting it lightly!) ...I've seen alot of disconnect between folks who were positive they'd found "the one". I'm not too familiar with the idea of "twin flame" incarnation. Please explain more. To answer your second question: according to tropical zodiac, my planets are Cap/sun Pisces/moon with leo rising. Then according to sidereal zodiac, signs change to Sag/sun Aqu/moon and ascendant in Cancer..

Took out a book at the library on relationships that has a CD in it. There is an option in the program to calculate according to sidereal time. It's loaded on my computer, so I can check the author and title and let you know.... could check your info if you like.

Just checked... It's, Mapping Your Romantic Relationships, by David Pond

You're trying to get the woman to believe that you are flawless.

i guess if you are not comfortable in your own skin.

I accept the fact that you just don't get it, many people of secular mind think they need to find only fulfillment in other people. It could also be your age

well thanx m ldybg for the insight,
but i guess the reason that i "just don't get" is because i was forchunate in my life to meet my soul mate my best friend who is my fiance, we have been together for five years...and still going strong. all this stuff about ego and "fakery",
well obviously that is so abundant in the "dating" world and these days. but sometimes you really do find that person there you re simply you, and they are simply themselves. we simply have decided to live our lives together. someone to laugh will and be there when life goes through their twists and turns. maybe the problem is, is that hollywood etc.., has cracked love up to be this whole "you had me at hello" thing.
love to me is simply being. maybe i am just of simple mind. and AH does it feel nice.

the thing is i don't get why most of the comments on here are so negative. claming that love was created by us., to me love is the only thing worth living for. call me a pisces. but in my soul i know it's true. love in imperfect that is the beauty of it.
to not only exept those imperfections yourself but a lover who wouldn't have it any otherway.

Regardless of whatever is happening in our earth plane existance, the journey is essentially a return to love.

nicely said