Advice needed

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by Shell14 on Tuesday, March 29, 2016 and has 13 replies.
I have gone on two dates with a Capricorn male. But he is very aloof. I don't know if he likes me. After our second date it was me that asked whether he wanted to meet again. He said yes but the following week as he's busy next week with work.
I kissed him and I wasn't sure he even wanted to kiss me but it was that awkward moment leaving the car saying bye so I pecked him on the lips. As Id asked him out I thought I wouldn't contact him. He contacted him a few days later by text. He had very little to say and didn't reply back to me. I am a Taurus and I say what I think as a lot of the time when I don't say things it eats me up inside. Anyway. I messaged him an hour or two later and said I'm not keen on him being so aloof and not being able to see me in a week. I don't know why I sent that I was kind of hoping for him to say he's not interested or he is. I hate feeling like another guy is leading me up the garden path when he has no interest in me.
I like him. I used to like him ten years ago but now he hasn't replied to me and it has been a couple of days. I didn't think I was really pushy or emotional but I guess your not meant to speak your mind so early on. I seem to get nowhere with relationships even when I say nothing and then I find out further down the line I should have said something.

Is the Capricorn ignoring me because he is completely not interested? Did I totally mess things up? Will he come back after I leave him alone?.

Thanks for your help xxx
Fuck him just be yourself , if he's aloof that's the least of your worries he could be....passive eww
Posted by Shell14
I have gone on two dates with a Capricorn male. But he is very aloof. I don't know if he likes me. After our second date it was me that asked whether he wanted to meet again. He said yes but the following week as he's busy next week with work.
I kissed him and I wasn't sure he even wanted to kiss me but it was that awkward moment leaving the car saying bye so I pecked him on the lips.

He contacted him a few days later by text. He had very little to say and didn't reply back to me. I am a Taurus and I say what I think as a lot of the time when I don't say things it eats me up inside. Anyway. I messaged him an hour or two later and said I'm not keen on him being so aloof and not being able to see me in a week. I don't know why I sent that I was kind of hoping for him to say he's not interested or he is. xxx

You kissed him and he sort of reciprocated but it felt awkward. Let's say that you were on a date with a guy and he went in for a kiss. I think most women would let on that they didn't want to kiss. Anyway, put yourself in his shoes regarding the kiss. Let's assume it made him feel uncomfortable. If a guy kissed you (and perhaps you felt "forced" to reciprocate) how would that make you feel. Though he's a guy and you're a gal, you can still empathize with what he's thinking.

Next, though you regret sending the text telling him you don't like him being aloof and not being able to see him, you still did and now you have to deal with it. You texted him after your kiss and you said he had very little to say and didn't reply back to you. I'm assuming you had some back and forth texting and then he left you hanging...for a whole hour. You don't know if he was in the middle of something or if something came up? This makes you look impatient and needy. Even if you don't need him, you need communication that he's not either ready, willing, or able to give.

Seems like you like this guy otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for help.

If you don't like him, then move on.

If you do like him, then move on with your life, and check in on him in a week or so if he hasn't replied. You have been chasing him and he is looking like he does not want to be chased. The only way you have a chance is if he somehow recognizes that he likes your more than he realizes right now. He also just might not be in the same place as you are. If you contact him again, try to get him out again so that you can at least be 1-on-1. Try to limit the amount of texting.

It seems that he's just not that into you, or perhaps he's looking for something different than you are. The only way you have a chance is if you make yourself a little more unavailable, especially given what has transpired thus far. I don't know if he comes back, but he won't come back if you bother him too soon and/or are overly aggressive in your pursuit.

Good lu
This what the guy is doing:

User Submitted Image

Go chase someone else, but walk don't run...rest once in a while and let him come to you and give you some attention.

http://siderealist.com/images/Venus% 20Mirror.jpg

Thanks for your comments. I am not used to someone like him. He is not my usual type. He's very unreadable and slow moving. It was him who text me after the date I replied once and then I sent the message being aloof. Maybe you are right maybe he's not that into me. Like I said I wasn't keen on him being aloof and unable to see me in a week. Meaning he seemed like he could take or leave me. I am glad someone has said I didn't say anything wrong I can now just move on I guess. I wouldn't dream of contacting him again before I hear from him Sad
I was worried that if I left it to him id be left waiting. I usually leave it to the guys to chase me and I usually end up with a guy chasing to sleep with me. I tried something different as you say a bit of give and take. But him ignoring me now will mean I will NEVER do anything more. He will have to do it all. So maybe it is a good thing or maybe i'll never hear from him again. But at the moment I am a little unimpressed that he has ignored me. Nothing to do with needy to do with respect.
Posted by Shell14

I was kind of hoping for him to say he's not interested or he is.

I hate feeling like another guy is .......



Your motivation seems to be the issue here.

You aren't contacting him because you want to talk to him ... you contact him out of fear that you're going to lose another guy you like.

That's not sincere interest in him ... and he likely senses this insecurity of yours.

Tiz, pay attention ... this is the kind of shit you're in for.


Posted by Shell14

I didn't think I was really pushy or emotional but I guess your not meant to speak your mind so early on

click to expand

This has nothing to do with timing. You are using that as an excuse so you don't have to face the fact that you have expectations on him and how is to perform for you according to love lost from other guys.

Again, that's not sincere interest in him ... rather, your need to satisfy your own insecurity.
Thanks P Angel. I did have sincere interest in him. I asked to see him again and he said yeah but cant do next week as hes busy all week so it would have to be the next week. I then kissed him goodbye.

Just as you said I then felt insecure about the situation. But I didn't contact him I thought I did enough and feeling awkard about him being busy and the kiss I wanted to know where I stood so that I do not continue acting like an idiot I guess. He text me a couple of days later it was nothing much how was my weekend. I replied great thanks. Hows your day off. He then replied are you out tonight after I replied no not tonight hows work. He was probably not interested in further texting. When he didn't reply I felt even more insecure and text him I am not keen on him being aloof and not being able to see me in a week.

I didn't do anything else. But you are right because of the past I probably feel like hes not that into me. Otherwise he would have kissed me, asked to see me and replied to my text.

I am upset to find yet another man im not good enough for but I will be strong and know I deserve someone who is into me x
Posted by Shell14

I am upset to find yet another man im not good enough for but I will be strong and know I deserve someone who is into me








User Submitted Image
Posted by Shell14

...... and know I deserve someone who is into me




You're never going to make it in the real world with this kind of entitlement mindset ... there is no golden pass just because you're breathing.

A person deserves what they have earned .. nothing more.

Posted by Shell14
> I am upset to find yet another man im not good enough for x

You just haven't found the right one yet. You cant take it personally. Not everyone is going to feel chemistry with you. Not their fault. You're just not their "one". Nothing they can do about it. Nothing you can do about it.

Don't give up. When it happens, when you find the right guy there won't be any confusion or question.
Hey Taurus controlling your emotions for a minute, stop rushing, slow down, communicate, and get to know each other as friends...
*taking notes from Pangel* Very good advice.

No offense but you sound a bit demanding. He gave you a time when he could see you. its possible you scared him off a bit by basically saying thats not good enough....he should work around his busy schedule and make time. Its a bit too early for that imho.