Aqua Man + Libra Woman: can we fix it?

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by ratsack on Thursday, November 8, 2018 and has 35 replies.
So long story short me & my Libra ex of five months broke-up because i was too aloof & by the time i cut the crap & laid my feelings out she said “nah” basically BUT we stayed in contact??

i eventually cut Contact but contacted her again a week later to apologize for the one time after our break-up i lost my cool (seeing her out with a male friend, seeing her leave with him) which she accepted but when i called her she got super effing mean to me & wouldn’t go to the park to talk it out face-to-face

then i thought that was it, but she kept just sending me messages & things every now & then but not responding or saying anything when i replied. Then she might just send one word if i initiated contact. FRUSTRATING!!

so i finally got sick of that & told her to not contact me or send me messages unless her intent is actually talking to me & having a conversation. to which she was like “Okay” and i haven’t heard from her since

did i blow it?? i really care about her & would like to start fresh with open communication
any help would be appreciated!!
Tell her all of this in a heartfelt message. Explain yourself and tell her how you truly feel but then make it clear at the end that you will never contact her again and leave the ball in her court. After that one message absolutely leave it up to her. Don’t contact her again. See what happens. If she gives a half hearted response with no intention to communicate properly, leave it and move on. If she is responsive and receptive, then take it from there.
Posted by Coochiecoochiecoo

Tell her all of this in a heartfelt message. Explain yourself and tell her how you truly feel but then make it clear at the end that you will never contact her again and leave the ball in her court. After that one message absolutely leave it up to her. Don’t contact her again. See what happens. If she gives a half hearted response with no intention to communicate properly, leave it and move on. If she is responsive and receptive, then take it from there.
i feel like i laid enough of myself out before we officially broke-up that she knows how i feel. when i told her, her initial response was “i didn’t assume those feelings went away overnight” like wat why did u even assume they were real.

putting all that & more out there again would just look desperate, no?

btw when i saw her IRL a few days after she was super happy to see me (???) & we hugged a few times but after that was when i lost my cool (because of her leaving with some male friend)
Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Cut your losses and move on. This combo can not work in intimate pairings.


Which books do you read? Name your top 10
also i thought this was a good pairing? we worked together really well besides the communication issues we had
Posted by SuninLibra

Wow Aquarius man writing about a Libra, when I dated an Aquarius he was too manipulative I could not take his BS anymore. He effed me up but I moved on eventually even when he tried to contact me again. Maybe you should move on too?
That’s what i guess i have to do. it’s a ball in her court situation right? i flat out said don’t talk to me unless you actually want to talk to me (since she was sending me messages just to get a quick ego boost / validation)
thank you so much for your Libra insight!! I do feel like she has been doing the same things you listed to keep me in limbo. & i did make an honest effort to talk & reconcile.

i just don’t play games, giving someone my time & attention is a commitment for me. so i had to draw boundaries so she’d stop sending me breadcrumbs & only come to me when she’s serious about at least having a real conversation (i didn’t push for the “either we get back together or nothing” because i know it doesn’t even work like that lol)

i’m gonna step back from her & get back into my own life. relationships are so frustrating. i wouldn’t even be posting here if i didn’t think her & i were compatible
No you don't need to fix anything. You've done nothing wrong.

She's the one that should fix it.

You need to get that straight man.

Or just like waterbearer said. Cut your losses and move on.
Posted by ratsack

thank you so much for your Libra insight!! I do feel like she has been doing the same things you listed to keep me in limbo. & i did make an honest effort to talk & reconcile.

i just don’t play games, giving someone my time & attention is a commitment for me. so i had to draw boundaries so she’d stop sending me breadcrumbs & only come to me when she’s serious about at least having a real conversation (i didn’t push for the “either we get back together or nothing” because i know it doesn’t even work like that lol)

i’m gonna step back from her & get back into my own life. relationships are so frustrating. i wouldn’t even be posting here if i didn’t think her & i were compatible
I totally get this because it happened to me with what I thought was a Libra female friend of 30 years + . we had some rough patches and then had a big blowout because I found out she was talking to my husband about me behind my back (he was to blame as well). She wanted to act like she was the total victim in that situation and blew me off when I wanted to get together to discuss in person and work on our friendship and boundaries etc in order to have an even better understanding/friendship and she was having none of that. So be it. I stepped up above her level and offered several times - she flat out refused. I did what I could and then I divorced her and my husband lol ... and good riddance on both parts !

Personally, what I would suggest is that you leave it alone and move on with your life and not let her drive you crazy!
Posted by AerialView

No you don't need to fix anything. You've done nothing wrong.

She's the one that should fix it.

You need to get that straight man.


i do need to remind myself that i didn’t do anything wrong. i tend to fall back into that attitude when someone’s resistant to communicating with me. i did A LOT of things wrong after a relationship i had last year with an Aries who FUCKED my whole world up (she actually was a bad person lol) but luckily i am smarter now.

hopefully it won’t be a challenge that we have mutual friends & i am definitely going to see her out sometimes.
Posted by ratsack

Posted by AerialView

No you don't need to fix anything. You've done nothing wrong.

She's the one that should fix it.

You need to get that straight man.


i do need to remind myself that i didn’t do anything wrong. i tend to fall back into that attitude when someone’s resistant to communicating with me. i did A LOT of things wrong after a relationship i had last year with an Aries who FUCKED my whole world up (she actually was a bad person lol) but luckily i am smarter now.

hopefully it won’t be a challenge that we have mutual friends & i am definitely going to see her out sometimes.
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From Aries to Libra. Man that's not an upgrade lol.

All the best.
Posted by dilettante

Posted by ratsack

wouldn’t go to the park to talk it out face-to-face
lol meet at the park? thats cute
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a walk in the park is a perfect opportunity to have a talk free of distractions!!! also the sun was setting. i ended up going with one of her good girlfriends because she liked the idea so much so i decided why not? i gave my ex a chance & she passed so

not that anything happened, her friend is in a relationship anyway
Posted by 7s

Posted by tctaap

Posted by ratsack

thank you so much for your Libra insight!! I do feel like she has been doing the same things you listed to keep me in limbo. & i did make an honest effort to talk & reconcile.

i just don’t play games, giving someone my time & attention is a commitment for me. so i had to draw boundaries so she’d stop sending me breadcrumbs & only come to me when she’s serious about at least having a real conversation (i didn’t push for the “either we get back together or nothing” because i know it doesn’t even work like that lol)

i’m gonna step back from her & get back into my own life. relationships are so frustrating. i wouldn’t even be posting here if i didn’t think her & i were compatible
I totally get this because it happened to me with what I thought was a Libra female friend of 30 years + . we had some rough patches and then had a big blowout because I found out she was talking to my husband about me behind my back (he was to blame as well). She wanted to act like she was the total victim in that situation and blew me off when I wanted to get together to discuss in person and work on our friendship and boundaries etc in order to have an even better understanding/friendship and she was having none of that. So be it. I stepped up above her level and offered several times - she flat out refused. I did what I could and then I divorced her and my husband lol ... and good riddance on both parts !

Personally, what I would suggest is that you leave it alone and move on with your life and not let her drive you crazy!

divorce? all because they were talking about you behind your back?! What were they saying?
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I'm not going into all of that - I was working full time, going to school full time and was tired of putting up with all their drama and stupid bs - but should have said I ended up divorcing - although it wasn't too long after that - that was just one part of what was/had been going on. I honestly wouldn't know where to start lol and well, it's pretty much forgiven at this point - just not forgotten - ever!

Posted by dilettante

Posted by ratsack

Posted by dilettante

Posted by ratsack

wouldn’t go to the park to talk it out face-to-face
lol meet at the park? thats cute
a walk in the park is a perfect opportunity to have a talk free of distractions!!! also the sun was setting. i ended up going with one of her good girlfriends because she liked the idea so much so i decided why not? i gave my ex a chance & she passed so

not that anything happened, her friend is in a relationship anyway
eww what??? u went to the park w/ her friend instead??? ugh gross aqua smh smh
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Her friend invited me!!! I also invited her again to make it less threatening since we’re both friends with this girl but she was still being resistant. I didn’t initiate anything devious. She knows what’s up (& started messaging me more that night with breadcrumbs)
Posted by Antiochus

Nah, you made your point clear.

The ball is in her camp for now.


That’s what i’m thinking too
Posted by Timon

I think by the time you changed she had probably already lost her feelings for you so that's why she didn't want to take you back. You said you remained in contact after the breakup until you "lost your cool"? when you saw her going out with someone else and that's when she started replying shortly? What exactly did you say to her? Maybe she liked having you as a friend but as soon as you behaved like you wanted more she started distancing herself from you.



i didn’t say anything to her when i lost my cool, her roommate got me frenzied & asking after she left the place where we saw each other “is she seeing THAT guy??” which ofc her roommate told her that i did so other than that i really kept my cool.

i was not responding to her mostly after the break-up but when i reached out she immediately mentioned it so i apologized because i did regret doing it. she accepted it, said we could move past it then what i mentioned before happened: we got on the phone the next day & she was being HELLA mean & was not feeling meeting me in the park. she referred to me to her roommate while we were still on the phone as “this idiot” yet still was breadcrumbing me after the fact. until i created boundaries to stop that & now here i am wondering how to fix other than just chillin
How old are you two?

She’s done.... for whatever reason, it’s over.

It’s time to just move forward and give her space.


Typically I give the person 2-4 weeks if NC to cool down before I attempt to repair things. Even then I go in to create peace. Never asking to engage in the relationship or anything... then I let it be.

I haven’t heard of an aqua chasing a Libra ever... I’m so confused by this!
Posted by Timon

Posted by ratsack

Posted by Timon

I think by the time you changed she had probably already lost her feelings for you so that's why she didn't want to take you back. You said you remained in contact after the breakup until you "lost your cool"? when you saw her going out with someone else and that's when she started replying shortly? What exactly did you say to her? Maybe she liked having you as a friend but as soon as you behaved like you wanted more she started distancing herself from you.



i didn’t say anything to her when i lost my cool, her roommate got me frenzied & asking after she left the place where we saw each other “is she seeing THAT guy??” which ofc her roommate told her that i did so other than that i really kept my cool.

i was not responding to her mostly after the break-up but when i reached out she immediately mentioned it so i apologized because i did regret doing it. she accepted it, said we could move past it then what i mentioned before happened: we got on the phone the next day & she was being HELLA mean & was not feeling meeting me in the park. she referred to me to her roommate while we were still on the phone as “this idiot” yet still was breadcrumbing me after the fact. until i created boundaries to stop that & now here i am wondering how to fix other than just chillin
So she is upset because you asked her roommate if she was seeing that guy? I don't understand why that would set her off. She is mad at you for something. Why do you think that is? I think there must be more to the story than you're telling us. If she really didn't want anything to do with you she would not talk to you anymore but she is and she is calling you an idiot so she is mad lol. 😂😂

So what exactly did you do?
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i think it was more what i didn’t do. i was most likely too aloof a lot of the time. there were definitely points i considered walking away from it because i felt like i was getting nowhere but i stuck around because she does have panic & anxiety disorders that make it hard for her to do things sometimes. and i didn’t want to fault her for that

we had communication issues that were frustrating, she expected me to read her mind a lot. i also didn’t really communicate my needs the way i should’ve. who knows what she thinks i did. prob read my vibe one too many times when i felt turned off by her lack of.....anything
Posted by Jade_Alexander

How old are you two?

She’s done.... for whatever reason, it’s over.

It’s time to just move forward and give her space.


Typically I give the person 2-4 weeks if NC to cool down before I attempt to repair things. Even then I go in to create peace. Never asking to engage in the relationship or anything... then I let it be.

I haven’t heard of an aqua chasing a Libra ever... I’m so confused by this!


She’s 28 i’m 29. And i was going NC mostly, she kept sending me snaps & messages just to get my attention until i told her to stop unless she actually wants to talk to me. So that’s where i am.

When i catch feelings for someone i tend to forgive their imperfections & mistakes until the fuck up enough that there’s nothing in it for me at all
i’m a Gemini Moon she’s a Taurus Moon
wow!! thank you Timon. that’s actually spot on for what was going wrong between us. exactly what happened. i feel better just reading that. i truly appreciate the insight!! i’m gonna give her as much space as i can.

Also, @SuninLibra: i didn’t do anything like that. the meanest thing i might’ve done was make a joke she didn’t like or tell her tofu she made was “good” when she wanted me to fawn over it. i was ultra respectful & supportive
Thank you @SuninLibra !!

This has actually been the one of the most informative things i’ve read on the internet about my relationship so far lol. now i just gotta chill & live my life & see if she comes around so we can try again but this time with more communication & total honesty
Love an aqua with a Gemini moon. They’re such a perfect blend.
Posted by ratsack

Posted by Jade_Alexander

How old are you two?

She’s done.... for whatever reason, it’s over.

It’s time to just move forward and give her space.


Typically I give the person 2-4 weeks if NC to cool down before I attempt to repair things. Even then I go in to create peace. Never asking to engage in the relationship or anything... then I let it be.

I haven’t heard of an aqua chasing a Libra ever... I’m so confused by this!


She’s 28 i’m 29. And i was going NC mostly, she kept sending me snaps & messages just to get my attention until i told her to stop unless she actually wants to talk to me. So that’s where i am.

When i catch feelings for someone i tend to forgive their imperfections & mistakes until the fuck up enough that there’s nothing in it for me at all
click to expand
I’m the same, very forgiving.

I think she’s just immature and rude. How people behave in these moments say a lot about their character. I’m not impressed with hers.


Even when n the worst of terms I was respectful and direct with the aqua. Just because the relationship fails doesn’t mean you need to lash out.

Her mind games are doing no one any favors.
^ well that’s why i pulled back & set boundaries. she needs time to think over if it was the best move to drop everything when i’m so willing to work things out
i get that but part of the problem was that i was not being forthcoming with MY communication either. we were both at fault a little bit. i’m not putting all my eggs in her basket but i’m open to trying again

otherwise i’ll just move on anyway & it’ll be fine
Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by ratsack

also i thought this was a good pairing? we worked together really well besides the communication issues we had
There’s no good pairing when there’s communication issues.

Communication is an air sign forte but unfortunately we do it very differently to Libra.

Libra are passive aggressive and very subliminal with their self expression.

They are experts at gaslighting.

They communicate through social media and this frustrates Aqua to the hilt cos we are shiiit at pretending and we mean what we say.

There’s no ambiguity to it. We say we love you and it stays that way.

We are also fixed af so we don’t switch lanes easy like fluffy Libra.

You’ll always know when Libra is rebounding off you cos they get real quiet (tuning a myriad of others online no less) then they wait 2 weeks to reach out for “peace”

Vomit

Find a Scorpio or Cancer. Hard work but you’ll be matched in every possible good way and life is too short for disloyal cunts.
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Wow. one libra fd you up real bad huh
Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Cut your losses and move on. This combo can not work in intimate pairings.

I hate to say it but I'm starting to believe this as well. I feel like I'm doomed to fall in love with Aquarius only to keep walking away because I don't feel valued. It really sucks too because intellectual it works and most of the time sexually it works although they can get awkward about sex swing from being very giving to being borderline asexual. I am not sure if sex is overwhelming for Aquarius or not but anyways it's a big nasty cosmic joke. It always feels like something is not quite right. Like you are missing a major point but can't figure it out.
Posted by ladylibra21

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Cut your losses and move on. This combo can not work in intimate pairings.

I hate to say it but I'm starting to believe this as well. I feel like I'm doomed to fall in love with Aquarius only to keep walking away because I don't feel valued. It really sucks too because intellectual it works and most of the time sexually it works although they can get awkward about sex swing from being very giving to being borderline asexual. I am not sure if sex is overwhelming for Aquarius or not but anyways it's a big nasty cosmic joke. It always feels like something is not quite right. Like you are missing a major point but can't figure it out.
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it’s all about open communication!! i’m believing this more & more. the better you get to know someone & the more honest you are the better your experience will be

i might be learning the most from this break-up regardless of what happens in the future
so i’ve been pretty good, living my own life doin things & moving forward. Not a peep from my Libra. she might’ve taken my “don’t message me unless your intention is actually talking to me” very seriously lol. still been checking up on me (views my updates)

here’s the thing: i’m pretty sure i’m gonna see her at private sake tasting party we’re both invited to on Friday. given we haven’t talked at all for over a week, how should i approach her? just cool & confident like nothing ever happened?

i’d like to start from zero again. despite the attention i’ve been getting from other women i still end up missing & thinking about her
i feel like this is my opportunity to patch things up & start fresh
Posted by ratsack

i feel like this is my opportunity to patch things up & start fresh


i’ve read that me being honest about everything while still being light will be the best approach since it’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a face-to-face. Libras appreciate honesty & forgiveness?
Posted by ratsack

Posted by ratsack

i feel like this is my opportunity to patch things up & start fresh


i’ve read that me being honest about everything while still being light will be the best approach since it’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a face-to-face. Libras appreciate honesty & forgiveness?
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Be honest and lay the cards on the table properly with an open heart. I’m a Libra. Listen to me. But also make it clear how things will be different going forward addressing her reservations about you. I see you wanting her back and this is the way Max.
thanks!! i’ll take your advice & we’ll see what happens tomorrow night