Aries woman, taurus man = heartbreak

This topic was created in the Aries and Taurus Compatibility forum by takeheart on Tuesday, September 20, 2016 and has 26 replies.
I'm 28, an Aries woman. (Moon aquarius, rising cancer).

I've known this Taurus man (4 years younger than me) since a while back and we were drinking buddies. During when we were friends, I was sleeping with his good friend who is a Leo (and attached). When the Leo wasn't giving me what I want (aries can be pushy towards what we want) Taurus and I got closer, Taurus was also attached at that point. I've been reading forums and know that Taurus don't really open themselves up to others but he was openly talking to me about the problems he was having with his gf at that time (he wasn't getting what he wants on bed). I guess that's when he felt the connection between us.

After things ended between Leo and I, Taurus confessed to me. He told me he was ready to leave his gf for me which he did eventually and we got together. I wasn't really in love with him at that time but the love started to grow when I realized his patience and calmness does indeed helped me to think rationally when i wasn't. Things were going fine, he was showing me lots of affection and giving me the attention that i needed. 1 month later things started to change. He started to care less about me, or so it seem. When i confronted him, he said this is the real him and that because he was getting comfortable with me. Aries can be independent woman when we are not in love, but when we are, we can be quite a girl at heart, wanting all the love and affection from our partner. We started having more arguments because he wasn't doing anything when I told him of the problems which really annoyed me.

I called for a time out to think how to work this out and we spoke. He said his decision would be based on mine but it wasn't what I expected. So i told him that he was selfish and a coward and probably just infatuated and not in love with me. At the end of the talk, he said he will take some time to think about what i've said before coming to a conclusion. After the talk, we still went out for dinner but there was less affection between the both of us.

3 months into the relationship when he finally made up he mind, he said it's better that we remain friends. he finally admit that he does in fact think of his ex once in a while and that we've got too much differences and we didnt understand each other's wants and needs. As much as i saw this coming, i was heartbroken. I begged him to reconsider but as stubborn as a bull, he said nothing was gonna change his mind because he knows this is the best for both of us. He still want us to remain friends which I too agree. But aries woman can't take someone who do not fight for us. I've tried talking to him as friends but it always end up with me lashing my anger or guilt tripping him by telling him he played me out. I know this is toxic but I can't help it. he also wants me to keep the couple watch he bought for me as a token from him.

I might not love him enough but i'm hoping he will come back one day. will a taurus man return based on my story?
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Man Idk. I think both got to talk it out and see just exactly what yall need from each other. Is it just friends cool too. Is there anything in common to keep it together?
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- if it didn't work, it isn't going to work - you can't change people much less a bull - it is what it is ...
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@firstdecan we've talked through it before on the day be asked for a breakup and nope, he wants to stay friends.

@tishtosh have you under any circumstances went back to an ex? Distance makes the heart grow fonder or staying by his side as a friend back to how it used to be, which works better for a taurus? I knew it wasnt going to work out but taurus does have a way with aries by calming us down when we are being ridiculous.
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@tishtosh appreciate your advice. I was supposed to go on a trip with him but i backed out cus i wasnt ready to spend alone time with him as friends. He went ahead anyway and been texting me to tell me about the place. Ive read on forum taurus remain as friends with ex because they hate changes?

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been involved with plenty of aries women myself. longest relationship i had was with an aries and it was 6 years. i've been able to remain friends with the aries women in my life. don't remind the guy about how he "played you" if you want him back. usually, we tend to turn the other cheek if we try a relationship and it doesn't work out, but emotions can change. i don't want to get your hopes up, but the best thing for you to do is to either completely cut ties with him (like u said, distance makes the heart grow fonder) or stay platonic without guilt tripping him. you can flirt every so often to see how he'd react, but i feel that if it wasn't too strong in the beginning of the relationship, why even bother continuing the trend?
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@earlorg16 i belive youve dated enough aries to know the impulsive agressive traits we have especially towards confronting/pointing out something that annpys us. And that we are pushy. This is my first taurus relationship and i must say, a taurus logic sense and their patience really do have a calming effect on us. He left his ex gf for me without giving him a closure and to me it felt like that incident affected our relationship because he was still feeling guilty about it. And as much as he didnt give her a closure, it didn't give him a closure as well. He also did pointed out that my love capacity was too overwhelming, something he cant return back to me. I took that as a hint that he never loved me hard enough, then why did he leave his gf for me. Taurus aren't known to be a cheater.

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Posted by takeheart
@earlorg16 i belive youve dated enough aries to know the impulsive agressive traits we have especially towards confronting/pointing out something that annpys us. And that we are pushy. This is my first taurus relationship and i must say, a taurus logic sense and their patience really do have a calming effect on us. He left his ex gf for me without giving him a closure and to me it felt like that incident affected our relationship because he was still feeling guilty about it. And as much as he didnt give her a closure, it didn't give him a closure as well. He also did pointed out that my love capacity was too overwhelming, something he cant return back to me. I took that as a hint that he never loved me hard enough, then why did he leave his gf for me. Taurus aren't known to be a cheater.

just curious, what is the sign of his ex? why did they even break up to begin with? taurus, along with any other sign, has the capability of cheating.

all aries women that i've been with don't like me at first. they sorta, just enjoy my aura and like hanging out with me. they can also sense the attraction i have for them, without me saying a word. it's easily shown i guess through my actions and expressions. but once i open up, they fall hard, like how much i "protect and ground them" and really just love passionately. they give their all, almost to a fault. it IS a very overwhelming type of love, but one that i truly embraced. like you said, there is an impulsiveness about aries women. they're just quick to react, to jump to conclusions, without realizing the ramifications of their actions. it's a hard thing to contain as a taurus, because you didn't mean to hurt anyone and we just sorta like to see how it goes rather than problem solving immediately. aries women also tend to have this competitive nature with women in their lovers lives. when i was with an aries, anytime there was a remotely attractive female friend around, if i was joking/smiling/happy around any other women, they'd assume something was up. whether it be if i was attracted to my friend or whatever (i wasn't, they were all taken) they'd just jump the gun. even if i tried to reassure aries, it was like a mental block. they want to be #1 in your eyes, even though they are to me at those moments, it's like they don't believe it. there's a lot of work that needs to go into making this work. so for your situation, back off, slow it down, and reassess.
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Posted by Redoctober2000
Posted by takeheart
@earlorg16 i belive youve dated enough aries to know the impulsive agressive traits we have especially towards confronting/pointing out something that annpys us. And that we are pushy. This is my first taurus relationship and i must say, a taurus logic sense and their patience really do have a calming effect on us. He left his ex gf for me without giving him a closure and to me it felt like that incident affected our relationship because he was still feeling guilty about it. And as much as he didnt give her a closure, it didn't give him a closure as well. He also did pointed out that my love capacity was too overwhelming, something he cant return back to me. I took that as a hint that he never loved me hard enough, then why did he leave his gf for me. Taurus aren't known to be a cheater.

Did you cheat on your ex to be with him?

Did he cheat with his ex to be with you?

If the above is correct, then it really doesn't have much to so when astrology, as we know that anything "born on the bedrock of lies and deceit" will not last..

Also "rebounds" usually have a "sell by date/use by date" - they are rarely long lasting as there is always residue from the previous relationship which is why the Taurus ended it.
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He wanted to be with me when he was still attached but i was against the idea so i told him to come back again when he is single. He came back two weeks later and told me he's ready. I found out later that he just left his ex gf in silence and when confronted he said he feels guilty and not sure how to face him. Yes i sort of already know he's not gonna change his mind, im just trying to find some kind of solace here. Kind of trying to kill myself harder.

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Posted by earlorg16
Posted by takeheart
@earlorg16 i belive youve dated enough aries to know the impulsive agressive traits we have especially towards confronting/pointing out something that annpys us. And that we are pushy. This is my first taurus relationship and i must say, a taurus logic sense and their patience really do have a calming effect on us. He left his ex gf for me without giving him a closure and to me it felt like that incident affected our relationship because he was still feeling guilty about it. And as much as he didnt give her a closure, it didn't give him a closure as well. He also did pointed out that my love capacity was too overwhelming, something he cant return back to me. I took that as a hint that he never loved me hard enough, then why did he leave his gf for me. Taurus aren't known to be a cheater.

just curious, what is the sign of his ex? why did they even break up to begin with? taurus, along with any other sign, has the capability of cheating.

all aries women that i've been with don't like me at first. they sorta, just enjoy my aura and like hanging out with me. they can also sense the attraction i have for them, without me saying a word. it's easily shown i guess through my actions and expressions. but once i open up, they fall hard, like how much i "protect and ground them" and really just love passionately. they give their all, almost to a fault. it IS a very overwhelming type of love, but one that i truly embraced. like you said, there is an impulsiveness about aries women. they're just quick to react, to jump to conclusions, without realizing the ramifications of their actions. it's a hard thing to contain as a taurus, because you didn't mean to hurt anyone and we just sorta like to see how it goes rather than problem solving immediately. aries women also tend to have this competitive nature with women in their lovers lives. when i was with an aries, anytime there was a remotely attractive female friend around, if i was joking/smiling/happy around any other women, they'd assume something was up. whether it be if i was attracted to my friend or whatever (i wasn't, they were all taken) they'd just jump the gun. even if i tried to reassure aries, it was like a mental block. they want to be #1 in your eyes, even though they are to me at those moments, it's like they don't believe it. there's a lot of work that needs to go into making this work. so for your situation, back off, slow it down, and reassess.
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I guess he's still too young to accept this overwhelming love from an aries. I was so ready to compromise and to lose an argument as long as i dont lose him. Won the battle, lost the war this time round.

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Posted by AriesLady8
Do you know his other placements?

I agree this relationship wasn't started with the right energy.

And it seems you and him weren't together long enough for the relationship to "stick" with him. Usually Tauruses don't let go so simply nor are they wanting to be friends if the relationships was significant to them
Im not sure about his other placements though.

I agree it didn't start off with the right energy. Im actually blaming myself too for rushing into things with him. I think im probably his shortest relationship and vice versa. Guess the ram drove the bull up the wall? Haha

With "nor are they wanting to be friends if the relationships was significant to them" do you mean that him wanting to be friends means that this relationship wasnt significant to him?

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Posted by takeheart

I guess he's still too young to accept this overwhelming love from an aries. I was so ready to compromise and to lose an argument as long as i dont lose him. Won the battle, lost the war this time round.

He doesn't really sound mature and sounds like he was lusting for you. I wouldn't even waste my time honestly if it were me in your shoes. You deserve better.
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Posted by earlorg16
Posted by takeheart

I guess he's still too young to accept this overwhelming love from an aries. I was so ready to compromise and to lose an argument as long as i dont lose him. Won the battle, lost the war this time round.

He doesn't really sound mature and sounds like he was lusting for you. I wouldn't even waste my time honestly if it were me in your shoes. You deserve better.
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Its what i think too but... when an aries love, we love hard.
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So we went on a few days of talking occasionally and there was this day i saw his ex gf posted something about him and i asked him of they got back together but he skipped the question and change the topic entirely. I ended up not replying him but before this he was asking me out for drinks and dinner. Today he told me he bought me the stuffs i wanted from his holiday trip. But our conversation was as short as a few words and the replies were in a few hours. What could this mean?

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Move on Aries and save your love for those who are deserving and accepting. Don't lose your dignity with this guy.
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@redoctober2000 what baffles me was when he was away on his holiday, he asked if im free on 28th to have dinner. He came back on the 26th and had work on the 27th. If they got back or if he wants to, shouldn't he wants to meet her first?
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I know i shouldn't be wasting my time on him but i dont wanna give it up without a fight. Im trying to see if theres anything i can do to increase my chances. I dont wanna confront him again like i would usually do cus its only gonna push him further.
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The Taurus was absolutely right in all his actions and his judgement call on the situation.

He told you that is the real him. Some people think Taurus are boring. I have an adult male Taurus son. They move when they feel like it, on their time. It's damn near impossible to change their mind.... especially when they've slowly came to a conclusion.

I am an Aries like you. You wanted stimulation, maybe excitement, something like that. Careless = not enough attention. The honeymoon, courtship stage seemed to end too soon? Probably because you were friends already.

Taurus's like to super chill and lounge. Your demands probably made him regret leaving his ex.

The break up is stimulating you to chase... that's all. You all of a sudden are stimulated, challenged. Let it go.
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Do i even stand a chance of getting him back in any way?
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Posted by takeheart
So we went on a few days of talking occasionally and there was this day i saw his ex gf posted something about him and i asked him of they got back together but he skipped the question and change the topic entirely. I ended up not replying him but before this he was asking me out for drinks and dinner. Today he told me he bought me the stuffs i wanted from his holiday trip. But our conversation was as short as a few words and the replies were in a few hours. What could this mean?

Tauruses are generous and love dinner and drinks... they love it. Did you go?

Let him be him. How you gonna get to know him better, win him back if you are second guessing every simple invitation. It's harmless.

The main thing is your feelings for him are not strong, you apparently don't speak the same love language, and you’re ignited solely by his decision to break up. C'mon now. You brought it up first.

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I did not because i couldnt make it. and now he is ignoring my messages again.
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Posted by takeheart
I did not because i couldnt make it. and now he is ignoring my messages again.
Oh well, he didn't think you were sincere. Be sweet, syrupy soft, and kind next time.... really open. But remember... you don't rely like him...you're ignited by the challenge. Be his friend like he asked. Wouldn't he make a great friend?

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@venusaquarius i texted him ytd. He said "what makes you think im attached to anyone after all these" and i told him that i still miss him to which he replied "i appreciate that you are opening up to me". Do i stand a chance or dont bring my hopes to high?
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See, just like I said, be "really open."

Don't worry about "chances." Worry about "good graces."

You know you are demanding. Based on your original post, you are demanding in a receptive way..."gimme, gimme." You have to evaluate YOURSELF. What did you give? What are you giving? Your main complaint was affection and attention. Which I don't understand. Did you try to hug him and he pushed you on the floor or something? If you want affection, just take it. It seems you were just used to recieving it. Please tell me if I understand correctly.

Based on your last post, Taurus says you weren't very open yourself.

Have you had time to evaluate? And, have you decided that he's not so bad afterall? Or, are you motivated by the challenge of getting him back? If you don't know, then just get back in good grace, re-establish the friendship, and go from there. You don't want to commmit again just to discover he is really not what you want.

There will be ups and downs in relationships just like there are ups and downs in life. The "honeymoon stage" comes and goes. Believe me, I'm in a 22 year relationship.

Personally, a Taurus befriends me, patiently waits for me to be free, and dumps his current girlfriend for me.... swoooon.

Taurus are so stable, warm, generous, and chill. They love the table and the bed.

He bought you stuff from his vacation even though you weren't together. What did he buy you?

See, gifts are my love language. Apparently, affection is your love language... yuck. LOL!
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VA you're on to something! I never looked at it like that!
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Updates.

It's been a month since we broke up. We didnt meet at all though ive been trying my best to ask him out. It always ended up with him asking "when?" And when i suggest a date, he would ignore. The other day i sent him a text saying i treasure him as a friend and would want him back even if not as a lover. He ignored the text and today i realized he deleted my contact from him phone because of his missing display picture on whatsapp. He was the one that mentioned he hope for us to remain friends but yet im receiving such actions from him. The only regret is losing him as a friend. Ive accepted we are not compatible but friends can be forever. He doesn't seem to understand this.
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