Capricorn Male and Scorpio Female :/

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by ScorpioEV86 on Tuesday, February 19, 2013 and has 52 replies.
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Capricorn & I have been talking 4 about 7 months now. We are both 26. Every few weeks him & I get into it & quit talking. Then every few weeks he comes running 2 my job 2 apologize. This has happened about 5 times. Well, we hungout on MLK holiday 2013 & everything was amazing. He came & picked me up & we shopped together, he would hold my hand & kiss my hands & forehead, even lips. Then, I had taken him back to my place & of course we do the "bang-bang". After, we are cuddled up & talking when I told him that I cared about him & asked him if he felt the same. No response. I asked him if he's afraid 2 commit & he said yes & that he was unsure of what he wanted. I told him that him & I should stop talking since he's unsure. He left my house pretty upset & told me that if I ever needed him for anything, 2 give him a call. Well, 2 weeks pass & I finally decide to be the one to break the ice. I told him I missed him. Then he calls me & I asked him if he missed me & he said NO because I was mean to him. I got upset being the scorpio that I am & got pretty quiet. I told him that I have to go & we end the call. I texted him & told him that he could have just texted me instead of a call since he was being mean. He said, I'm very sorry for making you feel bad. Then he texted me multiple times & I didnt respond so he calls me to tell me how sorry he was & that he wanted to see me when I got back from Mardi Gras. Well, I leave town & pretty much the whole time I'm gone he texts me, he even contacted me at 6am. So, when I get back, he decides 2 tell me that he has feelings for me & that he really cares about me. He tells me that these feeling scare him. Well, the next day him & I meet for yogurt. Everything is good, we are kissing, he keeps rubbing my face and neck and kissing all over me. After about 2 hours we go our own separate ways. On Saturday he comes over to spend the night. We are both drunk & having fun. We get into deep conversing & I offend him by saying his mother was a bitter woman & thats why she abused him and his brother. He gets really upset & I apologize & just keep kissing all over him. He apologizes to me for getting upset & holds me. Apparently, he can't get over what I said & decides to leave. The next day I text him & no response. Then yesterday, I text him & spill my heart out only for him to tell me he doesn't think he wants me in his life. I freak & tell him to lose my #. No response from him. Is he gone for good this this time?
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LOL!!! I'm not completely tired just yet, but we have great chemistry, and I know I'm not ready for it to truly be over. I'm sure he won't talk to me for a while, if at all, after telling him to lose my number and to never come to my job again! He's hurt and angry with me!!!
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Sounds exhausting. I don't know why you would care if he came back or not. I'd be glad to be rid of the bastard. lol.
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Welcome to the world of Caps and Scorps & relations!
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He's NOT gone for good!
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wtf... why cant caps and scorp in love just all get along.
*runs away crying*
*yells from a distance*
FREAKING EGOS!!!
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Posted by CreepyPants
wtf... why cant caps and scorp in love just all get along.
*runs away crying*
*yells from a distance*
FREAKING EGOS!!!



We COULD get along, but the moment you say the wrong thing to a Cap, they need about a month to cool off and Scorpios don't have that kind of patience. That b*tter is for the birds!! Miss my Cappie very much, but i'm moving on!
My EGO isn't nearly as large as his because i'm willing to admit my mistakes, apologize, and let the BS go. But, I can only text him so much before I say eff it. Scorpios aren't usually known to be beggers, and I'm certainly not the begging type. I texted him monday and no response so I texted him two days later (Wednesday), still no response. Called him last night and left a voicemail with my number just in case he deleted it and still nothing so I have decided to give up!! Everything is done on his terms and I'm not about that life. I'm changing my phone number so he has no way to contact me again. He's a poop-poop ass! :/
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Posted by ellessque
No, our ego is much bigger and that tends to be the problem.
Reread what you just wrote.
Things aren't going on your terms and that makes you very uncomfortable. Cap's have an abundance of self-control and right now, he's most certainly testing to see how yours measures up....and you are failing miserably.
smile


WELL, LET me be more specific about our situation. Everytime he gets upset with me, I always allow him his space and let him come around when he is ready. I do NOT bother him. I have done that every single disagreement that we have had. And every single time I have let him do that, he comes back around. But, right now I don't think he's being fair because I have allowed him plenty of space every time we have had an issue. Right now, I do want it my way. He picks and chooses when he's ready to talk to me and I have allowed it many times. My ego isn't greater than his. Not all Scorpios are the same, and we all don't evolve at the same pace. I guess I will just fail miserably according to you, but I have self-control and if I don't want to beg him to come around, then I will not do that. Cappies obviously like submissive women and I have never been that way. He's the one who disappears and comes back and he knows what kind of woman I am(he told me he never wanted me to change). So its obvious that he doesn't know what he wants. Can't blame everything on the scorpio. It takes two to Tango and when one always runs off, then how will it work????
AND he told me that his last relationship was with a Taurus and him and her fought constantly. SOOOOO, I know i'm not the main culprit all the time. Scorpio or not! ;/
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Idk. I think she is doing the right thing and if she can walk away now then she should do it before it gets to a point where she feel she cant.
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But, I'm not manipulative, I just don't want to seem desparate and crazy! But, it's proven that cappies need their space. If I back off and give him his space then he utilizes it. When I miss him and try to communicate with him this time and he doesn't respond, then obviously he needs his space. How do you deal with a capricorn that needs his space when he's upset? Do you keep baggering him?
And, yes, I can admit in relationships that I'm usually the big bitch and get my way, but I'm totally different with this Cappie. He has helped me to calm down and because of him I am more loving and show my feelings and have expressed my emotions to him recently without hesitation... I even told him exactly what I just told you and that is that he has helped me...... And it's all because I care about him. I don't want to blame him for everything because I know that its not always him and it won't help me heal faster, but at times it is. When I hurt him that night, I was very apologetic and an total empath.
I'm guessing that cap and I just aren't meant to make it work, which sucks cause i'm insanely crazy about him................ Sad
Regardless of all the BS, I REALLY miss him and i'm sure at this point he's more than likely not coming back. It's just easier for me to change my number so I don't sit and stare at my phone all day like a big ass loser... LOL!!!!
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Hahaha!! Well, I'm not necessarily throwing a fit, it may come off to you that way, but if he's unsure, then why the hell should I sit around and wait for him to make up his mind????
Just like Caps don't play the BS games, neither do Scorpios. They say Capricorns are Scorpios, but in a suit and i believe that. But, If im such a game player and he sees right through my BS, then that would make him that dummy for sticking around. I know for a fact i'm not mind fucking him, but if I was and he knew it, then what would be the benefits of him being close to me? I don't make him contact me!!
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Posted by lnana04
Idk. I think she is doing the right thing and if she can walk away now then she should do it before it gets to a point where she feel she cant.


That is exactly my point for trying to walk away now because more then ever, I am into him, and I can see myself getting more attached to him and then having to deal with more stress. But, at this point, what do I do? I should just WALK AWAY! :/
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Posted by ellessque
I don't even think you realize how you are coming off.
do you have your charts?


Im not trying to be sarcastic. I'm asking a serious question. If I don't bother him, then you say i'm being manipulative... Haha!! This is CRAY!
I honestly don't know what i'm suppose to do when they want their time and space to reevaluate situations.
Sun Scorpio 5.53
Moon Virgo 18.28
Mercury Scorpio28.18
Venus Scorpio 16.38 R
Mars Aquarius 12.05
Jupiter Pisces 13.09 R
Saturn Sagittarius 8.05
Uranus Sagittarius 19.58
Neptune Capricorn 3.36
Pluto Scorpio 7.15
Lilith Gemini 27.17
Asc node Aries 20.44
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So, trying to learn to relax without seeming desparate is manipulation? I think not. I hide my emotions at times for the sake of not getting hurt. Its not manipulation, that is who I am and how I was brought up. I am one of the realest people you could ever meet. Thats one of the problems I have with people. My outspoken self and bluntness has a tendency to hurt others, but I don't do it to hurt people I just feel like if I say it right the first time, then I won't have to repeat myself 6 and 7 times, which I don't like doing.
Anyways, like I said earlier, I have tried to contact him and spilled my heart out only for him to ignore me. So, me leaving him alone isn't manipulation, its just simply backing off becuase I feel hopeless. :/
And I came out and asked him if he cared and he said he didn't know. So, I told him we should probably stop talking because I don't want to get hurt.
When I came back from New Orleans, he texted me telling me that he had feelings for me. He said, "I have feelings for you, I'll admit, I do care about you". But, I never forced him to say that. He came out on his own.
And I'm working on being nice!! :p
It's a process when your dealing with the male species!!! LOL!!!!
Regardless, I love being a Scorpio!
BTW- what is FFS???
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Posted by DeeGee
If he hasn't stalked you and professed his undying love for you yet, he's still hung up on his ex...Cappies have that one love, they never let go of. They may seem like, they've moved on, but if she comes back in the picture, he will go to her, no matter how long you been together.


Thats definitely a possiblity as we can't exclude anything, but from what I do know, Capricorns are very slow critters.
He never told me that he loved me, but he told me he had feelings for me and that he cared about me..... Idk if thats enough for him a Capricorn!
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Posted by DeeGee
Not like, "where were you on the night of?"
Unsuspecting questions, find out if theres someone still swimming around in his head.


Hmm, I actually think this is good advice. There really is usually one major regret. My Cap friend recently married and I know of his past regret. Of course he wouldnt leave his wife for her, but if she came back into the picture even a day before the wedding he'd be torn.
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I was engaged to one for a long time...believe me, when they're hot on your tail, all the bells and whistles come out...start asking questions...


Do they usually move fast when they are sure or does it take them sometime to make sure this person is who they want?
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Posted by lnana04
Posted by DeeGee
Not like, "where were you on the night of?"
Unsuspecting questions, find out if theres someone still swimming around in his head.


Hmm, I actually think this is good advice. There really is usually one major regret. My Cap friend recently married and I know of his past regret. Of course he wouldnt leave his wife for her, but if she came back into the picture even a day before the wedding he'd be torn.
click to expand


lol. I like how it seems like you are surprised it was good advice. ;P
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Posted by ellessque
why are you in such a rush?


I'm not in a rush for anything and it seems as though everything I say to you has a NEGATIVE response, MS. SCORPIO!!!!
I am being myself around him and I told him before all this BS went down that I cared about him and that I liked him. I express how I feel when I feel I can trust someones motives, until then, NO, I do not express how I feel on a whim. I am not a hasty individual. Capricorns do the same thing as well. I'm sure if they weren't so afraid of rejection and being hurt, they would come right out early within the friendship/relationship (call it what cha want) and express how they feel, but they don't because they are being fake? I don't think so. When I am comfortable telling someone how I feel, then I do it.... Yea, we both may be Scorpios, but im 110% sure we don't do every single thing indentically!!! I'm sure of that!
But, like I said before(it seems as though your not listening to anything im saying), I have always been the person afraid to show my emotions since I was a child BECAUSE of how I was brought up. We all do things differently for different reasons and regardless of our signs, we are still human and always have room for change. I'm working on being more open when it comes to caring for someone, but if you have been that way your whole life, how can you say thats fake? If thats all you have ever been?
Anyways, I'm not bothering him and if he wants to come around, he will at least try.
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Posted by ellessque
they've only been dating for 7 months.
sweets, you should go check out the cap board. there are a few cap men over there that can give you some really great advice.
you can't assume he's hung up on the ex. if he is hung up on an ex, he WILL tell you. you just have to be listening.
if you don't want to be yourself so you don't get hurt.....it doesn't matter what sign you've been dating, the end result will always be you overanalyzing every single action of his in your mind 24/7.


He said he has no feelings for his ex... He told me that. Everything is possible, but we talked about it and he said by the end of the relationship, they hated each other. She is a Taurus and him, a Cappie(of course)!
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Posted by ellessque
whatever.
if you do go on the cap board, use paragraph breaks. they don't have as much patience as I do. Big Grin


Nope, i'm good on that!!
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Posted by capgirl69
Posted by lnana04
Posted by DeeGee
Not like, "where were you on the night of?"
Unsuspecting questions, find out if theres someone still swimming around in his head.


Hmm, I actually think this is good advice. There really is usually one major regret. My Cap friend recently married and I know of his past regret. Of course he wouldnt leave his wife for her, but if she came back into the picture even a day before the wedding he'd be torn.

q
lol. I like how it seems like you are surprised it was good advice. ;P
click to expand


LoL. It really is though, and something I personally rarely think about. Considering what just happened with my sis and her Taurus(him getting back with his ex), and knowing theres that ONE girl my Cap friend wish he would have worked it out with, it does make sense to make sure there are no "regrets" in any guys life. I just started to think in general when I read Dee's advice. I do feel that it can really apply to Cap males too since they live in the past. I do agree with Elle to that a mention of this girl will most likely come up IF he did have someone swimming around.
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Posted by ellessque
you know, there are three reasons you are trying to troll this thread and it has nothing to do with the topic.
1. I'm here
2. It's on the relationship board (you wouldn't get away with it on the cap board)
3. She's new and doesn't know you
I'm not going to help you.
I'm out.
Good luck, Scorpio! (I'm not being sarcastic)


Elle, what are you annoyed for?? smile
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Posted by Purrr
Okay, why did you make that comment about his mom abusing him? Context would be helpful. What was said prior to that? How did you say it? What was your tone of voice like? That's a sensitive subject...


Okay, here we go! lol
Ever since I have known him he has mentioned to me about his mother abusing him over little stuff and I have always told him I never agreed with the abuse and that it was wrong, but I was also always sober so it always came out tactfully. He was always fine with that, but he always knew how much I didn't like hearing that kind of stuff.

Well, Saturday night him and I had been drinking and I was pretty drunk. We were talking about relationships and careers... Just life. He brought up how if he ever missed school or any of his baseball practices, she would literally fist fight him. I got upset and said, "SHE WAS BITTER" and he was like, "NO, SHE WASN'T BITTER", and I was like, yes she was and he was like, NO SHE WASN'T...... Neither one of us had been screaming, but there was anger in our tones. I didn;t say it tactfully. He got really up set and started pointing his finger at me and told me to never talk about someones parents that way. I felt really bad and kept apologizing. Then he sat up and just held me and said he was sorry for getting upset at me. Well, him being himself only lasted for a few minutes because all of a sudden he jumped up and decided to leave...
The sad part about all of it is that his mother is dying... Sad
I know I was wrong.....
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I know I was wrong in how I said it, but I also know that I should be able to have my own opinion....
The only way I can fix it is by giving him space, I THINK??? :/
Thats pretty much what I have been doing, but I feel hopeless so i'm sure it will be a long time before I hear from him again.
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Posted by Purrr
Did you know she was dying when you had that argument?


Yes................ :/
He let me in on that pretty early on.
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Posted by seraph
Alright. It's time to walk away, ScorpioEV86. This isn't healthy. You don't seem right at all for each other. Even when drunk, the two of you somehow can't manage each other. You sure as hell aren't gonna do it sober.
On the one hand, you're enabling his behaviour by allowing it to continue (no doubt you're getting a self-esteem/"I feel needed" payoff), and he has deep-seated issues of his own (abusive mother, apparently, that he hasn't come to terms with, control issues with you, etc.) You did him a favour by pissing him off that night (or by putting him in a situation which allowed him to feign it and act the victim as a pretext for getting out), and he did *you* a favour by leaving.
If what you said is true, then let him deal with his mother's impending death in his own way - that is, *without* treating yo-yo-ing back and forth from you. In fact, a lot of what you're seeing might be connected to the grieving process that he's already begun, and likely struggling with. He is in anything but the frame of mind to give you what you think you need, and you're in no position to get sucked into his really imprudent way of expressing need and getting help. You're simply not equipped to handle it.
if you don't distance yourself *now*, you'll be on here regularly with newer versions of the same story.


Yes, you are right! And I noticed that for a while when we first started talking that he would jump into these depressed stages and not talk. He would call me every 5 minutes just to stare at me on facetime..... Poor fella, heck, i dont know.
But, truthfully, we have a problem with communication and that will always be the issue until he gets stable and the instability more than likely does come from his issues with his mother. And your right, I have enabled him multiple times because I keep allowing him to come back into my life.
I totally agree with you about him already starting the grieving stages for his mother. You have opened my eyes and made me realize that these issues with his mother are making him this way. I thought about it, but once you brought it to my attention, it hit me like a ton of bricks that that is the reason.
I'm not saying I didn't do anything wrong, but this is all crazy to me.
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Posted by LIBRA1234
Its quite simple but complicated at the same time. If you like him enough and u don't want to play games - call him and tell him u wanted to meet and have a little chat
If you think there is no future with this guy and your gut tells you he is off - move on and start meeting other guys...
Now u prob think it is more complicated than that, but trust me it isn't lol, relationships can be so simple as long as two people are on the SAME PAGE!


Very true! We are the ones that make things complicated, but if he doesn't want to listen then what do I do? Sad
I have too many mixed emotions here... haha! smile
I want him and feel like we can work through it if we both are willing to listen and pay attention, but at the same time I feel like theres something holding us back... And then with the running back and forth theres no possible way to build something sturdy when we can't keep things consistent... Oh Lawd, what to do. I think SERAPH is correct in what he is saying, but when you heart is involved its difficult to walk away. :/
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Oh wow. Im sorry gurly but you are lucky he didnt snap on you. You definitely can never think you are too close to talk about a parent, and then to know what she is going thru and still push. no mam. I honestly think you should just back away.
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Posted by DeeGee
Posted by ScorpioEV86
Posted by DeeGee
If he hasn't stalked you and professed his undying love for you yet, he's still hung up on his ex...Cappies have that one love, they never let go of. They may seem like, they've moved on, but if she comes back in the picture, he will go to her, no matter how long you been together.


Thats definitely a possiblity as we can't exclude anything, but from what I do know, Capricorns are very slow critters.
He never told me that he loved me, but he told me he had feelings for me and that he cared about me..... Idk if thats enough for him a Capricorn!


I was engaged to one for a long time...believe me, when they're hot on your tail, all the bells and whistles come out...start asking questions...
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I think you're on to something there DeeGee. I've only been dating a cap for 2 months now & he's already told me how he cares about me. I still thought that was a bit fast even for "caring", but it was sweet. Those bells & whistles are pretty loud when they're sincere. smile
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Posted by LIBRA1234
"I think SERAPH is correct in what he is saying, but when you heart is involved its difficult to walk away. :/"
I agree, it is, but if he is not willing to work on it, he is making it easier for you to walk away isn't he?


Yes, it will! If he's not going to communicate with me there is nothing I can do.
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Posted by QUlETstorm
I only read the first 2 pages and already frustrated. Lol
At some point you're going to have to choose between the cap or your ego. You insulted his mother and now you're upset that he's not accepting your apology. An apology is not a genuine apology after all when you are expecting a reaction from it. Either you are sincerely sorry or you're not. His silent treatment is not anymore ridiculous than you telling him to lose your number. Be careful what you ask for with a Capricorn because you just might get it. So before you say something like that, make sure you mean it.
I'm a Scorpio too, so I understand the Scorpio pride and the opinionated, outspoken nature. I've had to learn the hard way that we were given two ears to listen and only one mouth to talk because we need to listen more than we speak. He needs you to be his sounding board.. He can vent about how terrible his mother is all day, but that's not your place to pass judgment on her, just be there for him. At one point early on when I first met my cap, I had to learn tht the hard way after making a comment about his brother who stole from him. Don't remember how he reacted but he had a subtle way of letting me know I had overstepped a boundary and I never forgot that. Caps are as fiercely protective of their family as we are, so jus try to respect and understand that in the future.
I think he will be back but I hope you will not continue to let your pride and ego get in the way and let your apologies be heartfelt. Apologies are to be given without the need to control how they'll be received. All you can do is give him space and time to process his feelings. That IS his right.
I struggled with the same power trips in the beginning with my cap, I did a lot of pushing and pulling but it was not until I allowed myself to be vulnerable to the man tht I love, that I was able to experience the most fulfilling love of my life. A Scorp and a cap both have their defenses up.. He will let his down only and not before you let yours down.
You say you don't have a problem with ego but a few posts later say something about "not wanting to appear desperate". That's ego. Love and ego cannot coexist, you'll have to sacrifice one for the ego. And if you DO make a fool of yourself and appear desperate, that's a gamble you can take, because you'll bounce back and get over it like u have in the past. Winking
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Posted by QUlETstorm
Posted by ScorpioEV86
I know I was wrong in how I said it, but I also know that I should be able to have my own opinion....
The only way I can fix it is by giving him space, I THINK??? :/
Thats pretty much what I have been doing, but I feel hopeless so i'm sure it will be a long time before I hear from him again.


You can have your own opinion without voicing it. My mom was an addict who did some not so great things and I've vented to my friends many times, but would probably lose my mind if any of them said something negative about her, especially if I didn't ask for their opinion.
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Well, I realized that certain things shouldn't be discussed or certain things I shouldn't say. I think that my tone when calling his mother bitter is what hurt him because like I said before, him and I have discussed his mother many times and not once was he upset. I can say that I was tactful all those other times and had a sober mind(which isn't an excuse cause I admit I messed up)!
I'm not going to always just sit back and never speak. I'm human too so I deserve to be heard as well, but I do agree that I can learn to be a better listener. :p
I see very clearly now and know exactly what I can and can't say. I doubt if he comes back around, he will speak to me about his mother for a long time, but I hope that he will feel comfortable enough to talk to me about anything, HOPEFULLY. I'm sure that will be a while and I'll have to prove to him that he can trust me again.
I'm hurt that he is hurt because he apparently felt like he could confine in me and I messed that up.
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Posted by QUlETstorm
I only read the first 2 pages and already frustrated. Lol
At some point you're going to have to choose between the cap or your ego. You insulted his mother and now you're upset that he's not accepting your apology. An apology is not a genuine apology after all when you are expecting a reaction from it. Either you are sincerely sorry or you're not. His silent treatment is not anymore ridiculous than you telling him to lose your number. Be careful what you ask for with a Capricorn because you just might get it. So before you say something like that, make sure you mean it.
I'm a Scorpio too, so I understand the Scorpio pride and the opinionated, outspoken nature. I've had to learn the hard way that we were given two ears to listen and only one mouth to talk because we need to listen more than we speak. He needs you to be his sounding board.. He can vent about how terrible his mother is all day, but that's not your place to pass judgment on her, just be there for him. At one point early on when I first met my cap, I had to learn tht the hard way after making a comment about his brother who stole from him. Don't remember how he reacted but he had a subtle way of letting me know I had overstepped a boundary and I never forgot that. Caps are as fiercely protective of their family as we are, so jus try to respect and understand that in the future.
I think he will be back but I hope you will not continue to let your pride and ego get in the way and let your apologies be heartfelt. Apologies are to be given without the need to control how they'll be received. All you can do is give him space and time to process his feelings. That IS his right.
I struggled with the same power trips in the beginning with my cap, I did a lot of pushing and pulling but it was not until I allowed myself to be vulnerable to the man tht I love, that I was able to experience the most fulfilling love of my life. A Scorp and a cap both have their defenses up.. He will let his down only and not before you let yours down.
You say you don't have a problem with ego but a few posts later say something about "not wanting to appear desperate". That's ego. Love and ego cannot coexist, you'll have to sacrifice one for the ego. And if you DO make a fool of yourself and appear desperate, that's a gamble you can take, because you'll bounce back and get over it like u have in the past. Winking
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Posted by QUlETstorm
This thread reminds me of another time I put my foot in my mouth with my cap in our first year. LMAO I will never forget ellesque had to talk me down. I was watching Oprah and it was about men on the down low and this woman on there was given aids by her husband and he was pumpin men on the side. My random ass mars in Sagittarius can be messy, let me tell you.. Because I sent my cap a text basically saying something about if he was on the downlow or attracted to men to let me know. I don't remember exactly what I said because this was years ago, ad I said it jokingly, but then he didn't respond! So my paranoid ass start texting ellesque, flipping out because I thought for sure since he wasn't responding to my text, he MUST be gay. LMFAO Elle talked me off the cliff that day. Good times!! My poor cap, god bless his heart.
As scorpios we really can't stand to be ignored lol but once we get out of our own way is when we can have healthy, normal relationships. But it starts with us. And maybe a few mistakes lol


AWW, your very sweet and an inspirational scorpio!! Your wisdom and insight is one of a kind! I want to be like you when i grow up!! smile
And oh my lawd jesus!!! The Oprah thing is by far the funniest thing I have heard!!!! LMAO! I can't believe that!!! Scorpios are so funny!!!
I think another thing that upset him Saturday is when I told him that i felt like he didn't care.. You should have seen his eyeballs.. He raised his voice and said, "ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW, YOU DON'T THINK I CARE?".... Pinched another one of his nerves in the same night!!! I need a spankin'! ;p
I have to trust him which is another problem because I have trust issues since Capricorn men aren't so hasty. He was at first, but I told him he was being too much so he backed off. This was before I was super crazy about him!! Now, look at me! I'm a mess! haha
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Posted by QUlETstorm
Deegee you don't know too many capricorns do you? Lol
Slow & steady is the name of the game with a Capricorn. And this cap has made it clear from the beginning (showing up at her job to apologize, the declarations of his feelings for her) that he's into her. But even the cap who is most into a girl can still have periods of doubt within the first year or so of dating.
There's a HUGE difference between a cap who has withdrawn to take time to recharge and a cap who was never vested to begin with. Huge.


Oh yea, and not only has he showed up randomly at my job to always apologize, and confessed how much he cared about me, but in January sometime he told me to apply at one of the places he works at!!! smile
I didn't do it because I wanted to work at this shoe store and I am now, but of course I though that was sweet of him to suggest!!
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Posted by QUlETstorm
I'm not sugar coating anything, in fact I was pretty honest with her in calling her out on her flaws. I'm not here to talk her OUT of wanting the cap back though, nor am I telling her to wait. It is her who said she misses him like crazy. It's not like she's saying "I'm done, I'm over it" and then here i come like "no honey, just WAIT for him". Not exactly how it went down, but nice spin on it. Winking
I don't give a shit less whether she waits or doesn't wait. If she wants to leave him alone I wouldn't talk her out of it but for her to expect him to open up immediately to her after she insulted his mother is selfish. That's all I was really saying, in addition to giving her some advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship in the future with him IF she wants that.


Well, I personally don't look at it as me being selfish because I am still in the learning process when it comes to this Cappie. I have never had a guy close up and hide for as long as he has. We all have to learn and me trying to understand Mr. Goathead will take a little bit of time.
So, what I have done and my reaction may have came off as selfish, but I would disagree. I am learning how to handle different people and situations and if me backing off from him is ego, but then it looks as though im trying to force him to open up is selfish, then it's a lose-lose situation cause no matter the direction I go, your saying i'm screwed......
He needs his space and I have backed away to allow him to breath. If and when he decideds to come back around, talking about the issue at hand would be, IMO, beneficial considering everytime we have an issue we come back to each other as if nothing happened and never talk about it. Communication is needed here.
You have said made many points that have resonated with me, but the selfish thang, girl IDK! LOL! Winking
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Posted by LIBRA1234

In my opinion Quietstorm kinda sugar coated the whole situation for u. Its like she told u what you really wanna hear just because u want this guy. It is always easier to tell someone "yeah don't worry, he likes u a lot but he is just a bit busy now, and that's why he is ignoring you, but he will come back, just wait FOREVER". U gotta think what is best for u! Even if you like this guy, think with your head a little bit... try to imagine how this guy will be in the future. What does you gut tell u when you think about that? Do u feel his attitude and behavior is odd and could u deal with this on the long run? I did this in the past and it helped me a lot when I had to make a hard decision. Our judgment is often clouded by infatuation and the unknown chemistry we share with someone and it is very heard to let go of that adrenaline, but reason is what puts us above it all!


LIBRA1234,
I think you are a very practical person and I do agree with you as far as looking at the situation at hand and evaluating it to see if it is worth everything I'm going through.
I truthfully have never experienced a guy I was into or with going centuries without speaking to me so I believe it's something that I would have to take a deeper look at and decide if that's something I could handle. Him and I have never discussed this back and forth silly stuff before and I believe that's the problem. He would just come back and we would be good again....
Waiting around forever for someone is not the life I'm about, and I have never been that way. I look at it like this, if it's meant to be it will work out the way its suppose to, if not, there is someone esle. But, right now the situation is still pretty fresh as it literally happened a week from today so of course I still miss him.
I have tried contacting him only to receive no response and at this point I am going to back away. When he comes around, and I'm sure it will take him a minute, I will probably be at a point where I'm no longer hurt about any of it and have just moved forward. But, I will not sit and beat myself up and be miserable because he won't talk to me. There is nothing that I can do. I can't make him talk to me and I tried as much as I could. Three text and one call over the course of 3 days is enough for me. At this point it means just move on and see where it all ends up. I would be lying if I said I
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Posted by Caplove
I just wanted to add something here that's been sort of glossed over. His mother is DYING. He is starting to grieve and preparing for her death. Realize, that this might not even be about you at all. The death of a parent is DEVASTATING and throw in the abuse factor, well.. it makes it even more difficult to come to terms with. There is a long road ahead for him.
He's got a lot to think about.




Yes.
This relationship or whatever can really be the furthest thing from his mind right now.
It just sucks because talking about her can be a bit theruputic(sp?) for him, but all it takes is one bad experience to close a Cap off from releasing what they should.
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Posted by Caplove
I just wanted to add something here that's been sort of glossed over. His mother is DYING.



AMEN! This chick can't seem to think past herself... surprise, surprise
Posted by ScorpioEV86
Posted by QUlETstorm
for her to expect him to open up immediately to her after she insulted his mother is selfish.


Well, I personally don't look at it as me being selfish
You have said made many points that have resonated with me, but the selfish thang, girl IDK! LOL! Winking
click to expand


Everything is about you, and him not responding to you, and him disappearing for "centuries" on you when His mother is DYING
is not being selfish at all... Scorpio
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by Caplove
I just wanted to add something here that's been sort of glossed over. His mother is DYING.



AMEN! This chick can't seem to think past herself... surprise, surprise
Posted by ScorpioEV86
Posted by QUlETstorm
for her to expect him to open up immediately to her after she insulted his mother is selfish.


Well, I personally don't look at it as me being selfish
You have said made many points that have resonated with me, but the selfish thang, girl IDK! LOL! Winking


Everything is about you, and him not responding to you, and him disappearing for "centuries" on you when His mother is DYING
is not being selfish at all... Scorpio
click to expand


You can get the hell off my post if your going to be rude. Everyone else can seem to be respectful, but you! Get the H....E....L....L off my post then!
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by Caplove
I just wanted to add something here that's been sort of glossed over. His mother is DYING.



AMEN! This chick can't seem to think past herself... surprise, surprise
Posted by ScorpioEV86
Posted by QUlETstorm
for her to expect him to open up immediately to her after she insulted his mother is selfish.


Well, I personally don't look at it as me being selfish
You have said made many points that have resonated with me, but the selfish thang, girl IDK! LOL! Winking


Everything is about you, and him not responding to you, and him disappearing for "centuries" on you when His mother is DYING
is not being selfish at all... Scorpio
click to expand


There's a tactful way to express how you feel without being a jackass. If you can't express your opinion without being a clown, then jump the F off my post and don't being your S.H.*.T back, PLEASE!!!!!! And THANK YOU! smile
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by Caplove
I just wanted to add something here that's been sort of glossed over. His mother is DYING.



AMEN! This chick can't seem to think past herself... surprise, surprise
Posted by ScorpioEV86
Posted by QUlETstorm
for her to expect him to open up immediately to her after she insulted his mother is selfish.


Well, I personally don't look at it as me being selfish
You have said made many points that have resonated with me, but the selfish thang, girl IDK! LOL! Winking


Everything is about you, and him not responding to you, and him disappearing for "centuries" on you when His mother is DYING
is not being selfish at all... Scorpio
click to expand


And also, before the incident happened, him and I were talking almost every day for about two weeks straight so when I say we haven't spoken in centuries, i'm referring to the incident and how everything is playing out. I havent heard from him in over a week. That feels like centuries to me. Maybe you can't read well or you haven't sat and read the whole post. If him and I never got into a fight, then him and I would be talking regularly now, but since the incident, we haven't spoken. I wouldn't be mad at him if he needed time to think and reflect about his mother, but there is more to it then just that. Obviously, I hurt him and I am giving him space so that he can think!!!! Get a translator to help you comprehend my ENTIRE post before you comment.
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Posted by QUlETstorm
Posted by ScorpioEV86

You can get the hell off my post if your going to be rude. Everyone else can seem to be respectful, but you! Get the H....E....L....L off my post then!



Don't mind shellshocker, she's borderline obsessed with scorpios and will stalk the fuck out of your threads until you pay her some attention.
You know those signs at the zoo that says "Please Do Not Feed The Ducks"????
Nuff said. Pay her no mind Winking
click to expand


LOL!!!! Lawd Jesus, thats scary!!! Haha
Anyways, THANKS!! smile
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Posted by QUlETstorm
Posted by ScorpioEV86

You can get the hell off my post if your going to be rude. Everyone else can seem to be respectful, but you! Get the H....E....L....L off my post then!



Don't mind shellshocker, she's borderline obsessed with scorpios and will stalk the fuck out of your threads until you pay her some attention.
You know those signs at the zoo that says "Please Do Not Feed The Ducks"????
Nuff said. Pay her no mind Winking
click to expand


really QS? you still mad? keep hanging on to that...
OP... I am not the only one who has pointed out that you are being selfish... Even QS said that but she also "doesn't like the way I talk to her" so she's going to try a weak ass sting and rally a fan at the same time.
I think you should try to be a bit more empathic toward your bfs situation and realize that him ignoring you may be him needing to sort his life out. I've seen a lot of people face death and impending death and each case is heart wrenching. Everyone handles it different but there is so much guilt and confusion involved... lots of suffering that is very hard to express.
You have left him phone messages and texts and have mentioned that you will "move on" if he doesn't get back to you soon. Maybe try to put yourself in his shoes.
No matter how you want to justify it... your actions come off as selfish. I just call it like I see it.
*quack quack*
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Posted by shellshocker
Posted by QUlETstorm
Posted by ScorpioEV86

You can get the hell off my post if your going to be rude. Everyone else can seem to be respectful, but you! Get the H....E....L....L off my post then!



Don't mind shellshocker, she's borderline obsessed with scorpios and will stalk the fuck out of your threads until you pay her some attention.
You know those signs at the zoo that says "Please Do Not Feed The Ducks"????
Nuff said. Pay her no mind Winking


really QS? you still mad? keep hanging on to that...
OP... I am not the only one who has pointed out that you are being selfish... Even QS said that but she also "doesn't like the way I talk to her" so she's going to try a weak ass sting and rally a fan at the same time.
I think you should try to be a bit more empathic toward your bfs situation and realize that him ignoring you may be him needing to sort his life out. I've seen a lot of people face death and impending death and each case is heart wrenching. Everyone handles it different but there is so much guilt and confusion involved... lots of suffering that is very hard to express.
You have left him phone messages and texts and have mentioned that you will "move on" if he doesn't get back to you soon. Maybe try to put yourself in his shoes.
No matter how you want to justify it... your actions come off as selfish. I just call it like I see it.
*quack quack*
click to expand



Whack ass sting?? Look, you would know a sting if I stung that ass! I was just telling you to get the F.U.C.K off my post if you can't cut the condescending BS out and you call that a sting!! What a clown! hahaha!! You have no idea what a scorpio sting is like if you consider that a sting! SMH. Thats just me being the blunt b.i.t.c.h that I am!! smile
Plus, QUIETstorm wasn't rude or nasty when calling me selfish, she was blunt and straight to the point. The facetious stuff is for the birds, and I don't like it.
Anyways, THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT HIM NOT WANTING TO TALK TO ME. I'M NOT UPSET THAT HE WON'T RESPOND TO ME (yes, monday I was pretty upset, but then I texted him Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and I was very caring and gentle in my text to him), I'M HURT ABOUT THE SITUATION. To
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Posted by Caplove
Posted by Caplove He is in a lot of pain right now.




Or preparing himself for it.
click to expand


Earlier it cut off the rest of the message so I wanted to paste it in here. The last sentence was, "i'm hurt about the situation. To"... So, I'm going to put the rest in here!
To help move past it, I just have to move forward and if he comes around, then him and I could take it from there. I never said I was over him emotionally, and I never said that if he came back around I wouldn't give it another try, but in the mean time what do I do??? I feel it's best to allow him to have his space.... It's been difficult to deal with as I went to be at 5pm yesterday evening. Haha! But, I am super busy with work, school, my business, and volunteer work so it's important to keep it moving and stay busy so that I can stay focused and not let this stuff hold me back. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but I have things to accomplish and I can get really emotionally upside down when I love someone, and I have to take whatever measures needed to help myself get done whats necessary. So if I have to let go, then I have to, but he knows I am crazy about him and if he comes back around, I can admit I would probably give it a try!! He knows where I work! smile
But, I REALLY appreciate your insight as it was very helpful and straight to the point. smile)
I don't think that he is trying to add stress to my life by ignoring me, but it still sucks cause I miss him pretty bad. He's a pretty relaxed person and has much more patients than I, which I love so much about him so he doesn't strike me as someone who does things out of spite.
I do hope that he comes back around soon, but I know that besides his mother he's got other issues going on in his life. I'm sure its a combination of everything. But, I know his madre is the main problem though, and I know he's very hurt and protective over her. The day I said his mother was bitter, I immediately apologized and told him I was so sorry because I could see in his eyes how hurt he was. In the last text I sent him I told him that I cared about him and that he has my support. And truthfully he does! I have learned from this incident and know my boundries, and I hope that he eventually feels like he can come and discuss anything with me. He opened up a little bit
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*patience
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My sentences keep getting cut so I'm putting the rest of the last post it in this one.. Sad
He opened up a little bit about his personal life the first day I met him and some throughout our friendship. It felt really good that he felt close enough to me to share those things. I just hope that if and when he comes back around, he feels like he can talk to me about anything, which will proabably take some time for him to feel like he can trust me again.
BUT, I MISS MY GOAT!!!!
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Tell him you deepest darkest secrets and he will trust you with his...
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