Confused Libra ... Someone Please...

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by southernbeauty on Thursday, February 14, 2008 and has 23 replies.
First of all let me say that I am a Libra and so is my ex. Being a libra you would think I would be able to understand him ... but I really don't.
See I broke up with him about 2 weeks ago. The reason was mind games. We both played them. Why ... i really couldn't tell you. Do I like him ... yes; do I still have feelings for him ... yes.
See being a libra I switch back and forth. I am always changing my mind. When I broke up with him all he said was "okay" and asked if that was what I really wanted. THAT'S IT!! He played it soooo cool. I was shocked. Well I should have known better cause not 5mins down the road he was calling me. I didn't answer of course but looking down and seeing his name on the caller id ... my stomach went into knots. I saw him a couple of knights ago (Sat.) to be percise and he tried to come talk to me; of course he did it in a smart a $ $ way and I paid no mind to him. I didn't even make eye contact. I left early that night and the next morning he was blowing up my phone again.
What does he want I asked myself. He should have tried to win me back when he had the chance. But all he said was ok!!
Well now we are talking but it's wierd. He does things and says things that let me know he still cares, but at the same time he is acting more distant. We have completely stoped the mind games. He tries to talk about our relationship over the phone and I told him if he wants to know then he can talk to me in person. See there are things I wanna ask him too. Like I said it's been a wierd week ad he hasn't made any comments about talking. He never even mentions it. I would figure he would wanna try to talk and work it out (me being a libra that's what I wanna do). He will never tell me how he feels either. Why? Does he not know? I know libra men hate confrintation ... so that part makes sence. Do you think he is scared or is he just keeping me on the back burner?
We talk like twice a day and I usually let him call me. We have great conversations now that the mind games are stopped. But we haven't hung out in 2 weeks and he nor I will ever say "hey lets go do this" or whatever. Is it pride? Why does he still call me? Is he just being friendly? It's so hard to tell.
See tomorrow were going to a concert and he is gonna be there. What do i do? I know I should be friendly, but should I like stay by him or should I go with my own click? What if he asks me tomorrow to go with him? Should I? Oh someone please help!! PLEASE!!
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I wanna be honest and tell him, but I don't wanna rush him and make him feel like he has to tell me right away. Why do you think he kept calling me when I didn't answer? Any other guy would have given up, but like I said when I finally did answer ... he acted normal. It was the wierdest thing. He told me all he had to do was ask me a question and then he would leave me alone. When I answered I asked him what he wanted and he said he didn't remember. I know it was just to get me to talk, but why? I know I confuseing you but I confuse myself too.
Now don't get me wrong. I am a beautiful girl and I don't wait around and weap over no man. I just want to follow my heart and I ma trying to understand him.
I wanna know why he is playing it cool?
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Thank you girl!! How has it been with your libra? Has he ever called? Mine want's to hang out today, but yet hasn't asked me if I wanna go to the concert with him. Weird. He is sooo confusing. Tell me more detail about yours. I wanna hear it all. I think I'm just gonna take it day by day ... see how that works. ;P
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Well he was there at the concert, we didn't go together obviously, but when I saw him my heart sank. He noticed me right off and I just walked up to him, kinda tapped him on the stomach and smiled; I kept on walking though. We just kinda eye-balled each other for an hour tell I asked him to dance. (This is western dancing by they way not booty dancing Big Grin) He said he was suprised that I came and talked to him cause he thought from our earlier conversation that day that I was mad at him and he said I hing up on him. Whatever that meant. Anyway I was kinda intocicated so I don't remember the whole comversation. I remember laughing alot. Oh the first thing he told me was that I looked very pretty. I told him he smelled wonderful ... I think thats my biggest weakness ... besides his smile smile. He said that I smelled good too. I just kept looking for him all night. There is just something about him Arian and I can't point it out.
I ended up leavign early and my friends and I went to I-hop. I went up to him and gave him a hug. He asked me how I was getting home and who I was going home with. Then he told me to be careful and not to anything stupid. I asked him what he meant by that ... he said don't do anything your gonna regret. I said like what? He said with another guy ... like kissing. I don't know why he does that! It makes me so mad!! Then he said to text him when I got home.
So I am leaving I-hop and I text him and told him I was on my way home. (I didn't think he was gonna respond because you don't get service in the dancehall) Well he respnded right away and asked If I was okay. Then asked where I was going and If I was with a guy. That crap just ticks me off. Why do you think he does that? When he does I just ignore the question. Maybe he wants me to respond ... but that's him assuming things ... like yours does. It makes me so mad. Anyway I asked him if he liked my outfit and he said it was pretty blah blah and then he asked me what I thought about his (only libra men do this and it's so funny) I told him that he always takes my breath away. Then he asked " Well why aren't you with me?" So I just told him that he will never tell me how he feels. When I asked him to tell me somethig his response was "in person" God only knows when that will be. I know you can't rush libras. Especially men. So I guess when hes ready he will come find me.
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It was so hard not to kiss him girl ... infact we almost did. I figured breaking up with him he would leave me and I would just move on ... but it didn't happen like that.
Let me just say that I love talking to you and that I feel like your the only one who understands what I'm going through. If he was any other man I would have left him along time ago. There is something there that keeps me holding on.
It just feels so good to be able to express myself. It't like I lose 10lbs everytime I get on here and talk to you.
Oh about his past relationships .. he wasn't a player. He dated 2 girls for 4 years. ya I know crazy!! He is all about commitment, but he always want's me to tell him how I feel first. Do you think he just wants to be certain how I feel about him before he spills his guts? Does yours do that?
AHHHHHHH....
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Thats just it ... we havent hung out together in 2 weeks!! It's killing me. We tried to Yesterday before the concert but we both had errands and were too busy. He has got to be dieing to spend time with me ... I know I am about him.
I do think its pride. I never call him ... it's almost like I don't want him to think I can't live without him. I have a life too plus I don't want ot bug him. He made a effort ... actually 2 efforts to try to see me yesterday, but like I said we were just too busy. I am not as easy as mos tof his girls ... I'm still a virgin and am waiting for marriage. I think that just drives him nutts. He usually wins girls back with his smile and charm ... not me. I have game too. But see thats just it. We are both desired and so thats were the pride comes in. He knows guys find me attractive and so he may not know how to deal with that. His ex was chunky and not very pretty. I'm no model, but I know I have the whole package... personality and all. So does he.
Maybe it is pride. What do I do? Someone told me to show I care for him but don't tell him or verbalize it. What does that mean? How do I handle him. How do I get him to tel me how he feels and make him want ot spend time with him?
We have too much ego. What would you do?
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It's only been 2 monthes and are conversations lately (past week) we havent faught at all. We usually fight all the time. Werid.
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In the beginning we faught, but after I broke up with him (2 weeks ago) we havent faught. That's whats weird. I quit playing games and well ... he did too. BUT ... he seems more distant. I think he's like waiting on me, but then I'm waiting on him. SO CONFUSING!! What should I do? I can't make himtalk to me in person, but I feel like he is putting it off. Why? I'm not sure.
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Have you tried giving him what he wants without asking for a return or without expecting a return? if so, provide examples.
Like what? Be more specific.
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I ended it with him yesterday. For good this time. He started playing games with me and told me that last night I went home with another guy and all that crap. He is a very immature libra and insecure, which is sad. He is 24 but acts like hes 15. I told him that and to call me in a couple of years when he matures ... he just turned it around on me again and said it was my fault and I was the one being immautre.
I never accuse him of stuff like that ... I am not a jealous type and I am pretty confident you know? I have alot to offer and so does he, so I don't know why he would be insecure. He is just too jealous. Oh and I asked him if he wanted to do something yesterday and he said he was spending time with his dad so i said okay I'm gonna go to my churches valentine banquette. Right off the bat he gets jealous and say with who!?!? Like I had a date or sometihng. It made me so mad. I don't have to have a man you know? Then he called me twice when I was at dinner and I texted him and asked what he wanted. He just said oh sorry for interrypting your date!! How immature is that? I told him it was just me and my mom. Why does he act like that?
Well I talked to some ladies about his behavior and got pretty much the same answer. Immautre and insecureity. Its sad really. I'm sure he's gonna call me ... he usually does. I have to ignore him, and for a libra thats hard.
Oh and when I told him it was over to leave me alone he just kept blaming it on me and kept telling me how mean I was. WHATEVER!! Any thoughts??
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Oh I don't know abot all that. his birthday is oct. 6th.
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Ok girl this is serious!! I am soooo confused. He is so jealous right? Has to know where I am, who I'm with, ect. But ... he never wants to do anything with me. I'll ask and he always has an excuse. WHY??? He likes me, but doesn't wanna spend time with me. That makes no sense at all. What the hell is wrong with this guy? There has to be a reason why he is acting this way.
How do I make him wanna spend time with me? Libras usually wanna be with their lovers all the time. ARGGGG!! I'm gonna ring his freaking neck!
Why is he playing hard to get? Or is that what hes even doing? Back and forth back and forth. I tell him to leave me alone, but he knows I'm a softy and eventually I will answer. It's like he likes this little game or something.
The next time he asks me if I have a date should I tell him yes? Will that make him wanna be with me? What would you do?
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That night at the concert remember how I told you I was the first one to come up to him and say hi? Well last night on the phone he made a comment and said that I was trying to piss someone off. I was very confused at this statement. I asked him who? He said Brook. This girl he has been hanging out with since we split. I didn't know they were "seeing" each other or anything. He told me they weren't, but why would he say I was trying to piss her off. Now he was with a group of people. but I didn't who she was or what she looked like. Until yesterday when I saw her on his myspace. She isn't very pretty; cute though. I am not jealous of her, but for him to say that really pissed me off. I am not that kind of person at all and I'm not 12. I told him if he wants to be with her then they should be together!! End of story. I'm not going to compete for NO mans attention. He should wanna be with me ... if not ... then he can hit the road.
I asked him if they were dateing and he said no that he wasn't seeing anyone. I asked him if they kissed. I of course know the answer, but I wanted him to admit it. He played dumb and just repeated the question. I yes yes and then he said who? Then said he has been hanging out with alot of girls lately!! I just sat there on the phone trying not to cry. He waited a while then said hello? I just sat there. He then hung up and I turned my phone off. He called me this morning, but I don't want to speak to him.
I can't believe he said that to me. I asked him what he wanted from me. He never answerd though. I told him to stop calling me if he was seeing another girl. I am not trying to be mean, but those girls he hangs with are just plain and not pretty. That sounds mean, but if they were pretty then I have no problem admitting to it. Like I said I'm not the jealous type. Now I guess I have to move on. What a jerk.
Oh and last night when I asked him before the whole conversation about brook if he wanted to hang out he said he couldn't cause he was packing. Now I now that was just an excuse. Oh and then he told me I was trying ot get him in trouble!! I said if your not seeing her then why does it matter. He is such a lieing SOB!! I really had no idea Arian. No idea. Thats just it though. I try to believe everyone is good and that all men are faithful. Guess thats why he was so obsessd with accuseing me ... he was the one playing!! I havent been on a date or anything since him. Now I see the truth.
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He never made it obvious though. He didn't really even hang out with her that night. I never saw them dance or anything. WTF??? Maybe he is just saying all this to make me jealous. He really needs to grow up. You think?
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I cannot believe we?re speaking about Libra?s..i?m not like these creeps at all!!! Glad about that too smile
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He has called me 7 times today so far ... I havent answered. I wish he would go away. I can't move on if he doesn't stop. How long do you think he will keep doing this?
If he would have just been honest with me and told me he wants to be with me instead of playing these stupid games. No more!! It's sad!!!
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lol, this thread is hilarious ..
For 3 years, long-long ago .. I lived with a Libra man and I can honestly say that I experienced none of the problems in which the OP has expressed. Though, I could give you an answer, from my perspective, it's doubtful if it will be of much help because you clearly show that your brain is functioning within the same capacity as his .. so your view will be limited within this calculating mind-set of having to make conclusive sense out of ponderings.
The only thing I can tell you .. you don't have to take everything to the bank for a deposit .. sometimes, it's just about musing over the possibilities.
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I think she means that you shouldn't take what people do to heart. Sometimes people don't know what they want so they do all kinds of things, like the Libra dude. He's young and probably confused. Sounds like he likes this girl but isn't willing to stick his neck out and make a clear commitment. Libra's aren't known for their decisiveness exactly Winking
My experience with relationships with Libra men is to let them come around to you. Be there, be friendly but don't give them more. Let them come to you and when you don't like certain things, be the one to be direct. It may be hard for the Libra girl, but the Libra guy will usually like a woman who can be direct about what she wants in a relationship. That will help them decide whether or not they are the man for you. After you've been direct with them, their actions should show how they truly feel about you.
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I became friends with a Libra guy while he was in a relationship and he used to ask me questions all the time about it. That's how I know a little about how their tiny brains work Winking he, he!
Arianlatay, even though he may say you're mean, don't stop telling him what you need. Libra men seem to be very willing to work on a relationship and can't stand not knowing what to do more than a woman who tells him what she needs. But with ever Libra, there has to be a balance so you need to listen to his needs as well.
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He doesn't "think" you're mean .... he's wieghing out whether he might think what you said was mean, and doing so verbally.
When they speak about their verbal ponderings .. it's not felt. Their wieghing process is outside of their heart. It's not a feeling.
It's like holding up two oranges and comparing. He wants you to say what you want, what you like, how you feel, why you say the things you do .. so he can toss it back and forth. It doesn't mean he thinks your mean, though .. it means he thinks it might have been a mean thing to say.
In other words .. they are just words .. just words. And he might have even began a wondering over the word, "mean" .. to see how many ways he could interpret what it means to be mean.
Libra's are quite harmless .. smile
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Hi! Arianlatay... when you say your libra guy dumps you after you've been direct with him and then comes back.. What usually happens if you dont mind me asking... how long do you get dumped for.. Ive been with my libra for 4 months first time ever he spoke to me like he wasnt bothered about me making dinner the next evening when we meet up and sounded bored and questioned picking me up??? Never before has he been like that.. I thought maybe cos i contacted him and never usually do.. anyway... i told him what i thought the next day.. I said shall we leave tonight you were rude and didnt seem botherd... he replied up to you.. which annoyed me even more then i rang him a few hours later left a message, then he rang back and left me a message and then i rang him back.... nothing... not heard from him this was thursday.... do you know what hes up too.. xxxx
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Mistery... can you help at all with this thanks xxxx
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All I can say is if after dating for 4 months and your partner is acting strange, something is up. You already told him what you thought of his behavior, now it's his turn to apologize AND explain what is going on with him. Do not continue seeing him unless he realizes how much he hurt you and apologizes.
No one deserves a rude partner (I'd rather be alone). If you do something special, they should appreciate it or explain why they aren't (tired, bad timing?). The ball is in his court but if you haven't heard back from him since then, try to move on. I know it's hard but it's best to cut your losses with a guy who doesn't appreciate you then let it go on and give him another chance to hurt you. My advice is not to contact him again, let him do it. If and when he does, let him know that you will not be with someone who treats you the way he did. Let him know you want passion, love & commitment and anything less isn't worth your time. It'll make him think about what he wants and if he wants the same, your relationship will grow. If he doesn't want it, then it's better to know now.
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