Dear all you lovely experienced people :)
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by Jessiton on Thursday, April 25, 2013 and has 12 replies.
I need some experienced thoughts on this please! This guy and I (same age and we work together) went on one date and hung out one time at my house to watch a movie where we had NO sexual encounter, we just laid on the couch together. We then both had decided neither one of us were ready for relationships because the both of us had just gotten out of bad ones.
A few weeks later we ended up being friends with benefits, this lasted about two months. For the first month he was at my house every night. Some nights we would have sex, some we would just watch movies, and some we just made out. He would sleep over on some nights too. Then all the sudden he started to become absent, of course I had started to like him which was my fault. The last night we spent together he freaked out for some unknown reason and left. So I was not happy about that because i really liked him. At the same time he was kind of an A-hole to begin with so I let it go....or tried to. We talked on and off but nothing major. Plus we worked together so we had to keep it professional.
Fast forward a month we ended up getting in a blow-out over stupid shit to where we "hated" each other and did not talk.
Fast forward a few more months I can not remember exactly how but we are now on friendly terms again for about a month. First it was normal work conversation now we have been taking turns buying each others lunches and whatever other stuff we get through out the day. He recently has had car issues so I've been giving him rides and I had let him use it during break to go to run an errand. He had stopped and filled it up for me. He said he knew how tired I was and figured I would not want to stop on the way home. He has had drinks waiting on my desk for me. Or he will let me take his debit card to the store to get drinks with it. Just all this really nice stuff, he never even did this before when we were FWB. He has also started occasionally texting me again, I try not to let him initiate it. The only odd thing is last week he was heavily flirty and goofy with me, now this week he is still doing nice stuff but he does seem a little more distant. I of course do not want to read to much into his actions but I think I might be. It would be awesome to have others opinions on this too! Is he just being friendly?
A few weeks later we ended up being friends with benefits, this lasted about two months. For the first month he was at my house every night. Some nights we would have sex, some we would just watch movies, and some we just made out. He would sleep over on some nights too. Then all the sudden he started to become absent, of course I had started to like him which was my fault. The last night we spent together he freaked out for some unknown reason and left. So I was not happy about that because i really liked him. At the same time he was kind of an A-hole to begin with so I let it go....or tried to. We talked on and off but nothing major. Plus we worked together so we had to keep it professional.
Fast forward a month we ended up getting in a blow-out over stupid shit to where we "hated" each other and did not talk.
Fast forward a few more months I can not remember exactly how but we are now on friendly terms again for about a month. First it was normal work conversation now we have been taking turns buying each others lunches and whatever other stuff we get through out the day. He recently has had car issues so I've been giving him rides and I had let him use it during break to go to run an errand. He had stopped and filled it up for me. He said he knew how tired I was and figured I would not want to stop on the way home. He has had drinks waiting on my desk for me. Or he will let me take his debit card to the store to get drinks with it. Just all this really nice stuff, he never even did this before when we were FWB. He has also started occasionally texting me again, I try not to let him initiate it. The only odd thing is last week he was heavily flirty and goofy with me, now this week he is still doing nice stuff but he does seem a little more distant. I of course do not want to read to much into his actions but I think I might be. It would be awesome to have others opinions on this too! Is he just being friendly?
Godamnit. I fucking hate when that happens.
Anyways, do you have other males in your work place that platonically flirt with you?
Anyways, do you have other males in your work place that platonically flirt with you?
^
Posted by antonarnia
Godamnit. I fucking hate when that happens.
Anyways, do you have other males in your work place that platonically flirt with you?
No.
Djbuck1,
At the time I do not find anything wrong with my agreeing to a mutual FWB relationship with him after we decided we did not want to date. I am still learning, and with no real models in my life it really is trial and error for (or scary enough the net) to seek out this sort of useful information. So Thank you for you input. I will definitely be using it because I do get what you are saying.
At the time I do not find anything wrong with my agreeing to a mutual FWB relationship with him after we decided we did not want to date. I am still learning, and with no real models in my life it really is trial and error for (or scary enough the net) to seek out this sort of useful information. So Thank you for you input. I will definitely be using it because I do get what you are saying.
Posted by JessitonPosted by antonarnia
Godamnit. I fucking hate when that happens.
Anyways, do you have other males in your work place that platonically flirt with you?
No.click to expand
Ok.
@ djbuck1
Please write your own thread in relationships with exactly all you've said here...Hell you might write one in each sign just so that every woman out there sees it!!!
Bravo!!!
Please write your own thread in relationships with exactly all you've said here...Hell you might write one in each sign just so that every woman out there sees it!!!
Bravo!!!
::: shakes head :::
I'm not sure what is at fault here ... maybe it's due to mothers not being home for the children anylonger and so these girls aren't learning how to respect themselves.
How the hell is it a benefit to the female if she isn't getting her basic needs met = emotional support
do you even realize that to have sex with no strings attached is only benefiting the guy? so therefore, your only role is to be his slut?
They will always want what they can't have. It is so much better once your emotional needs are met first before having sex with him. But I am an Aquarian and I have to be best friends first.
FWB never works out and when you started liking him, he ditched. That's the way it workds. He's only sniffing around now to see if he can use you for sex. This guy is a douchebag - don't give it up anymore. Even you stated he was an a-hole. REally? Why let him do you that way? He doesn't deserve you at all!
Please respect yourself and don't give up the goodies unless the guy earns it and is willing to have a relationship, date you, go out in public with you, have you around friends, hang around without sex, etc. If he isn't willing to treat you like a girlfriend, he shouldn't be entitled to the goods.
As for P-Angels comment - I think it's the fathers that have more influence on whether a girl respects herself or not. It's male attention they are looking for and willing to get anyway they can get it. Absentee or uninvolved dads = daughters with no self respect.
Please respect yourself and don't give up the goodies unless the guy earns it and is willing to have a relationship, date you, go out in public with you, have you around friends, hang around without sex, etc. If he isn't willing to treat you like a girlfriend, he shouldn't be entitled to the goods.
As for P-Angels comment - I think it's the fathers that have more influence on whether a girl respects herself or not. It's male attention they are looking for and willing to get anyway they can get it. Absentee or uninvolved dads = daughters with no self respect.
I've watched several sitcoms and movies lately and have noticed a trend. The "whoredog" men on there out and about and they comment "that girl's my type - she has no self esteem". For example: Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men says this a lot.
Girls, don't be that girl!
Girls, don't be that girl!
I will never understand why some women offer thenselves up on a plate like a cheap sandwich then complain when a guy takes it and leaves....I don't care what your upbringing is - there's right and there's wrong. It's not difficult to comprehend. He probably just wants to continue to enjoy the FWB status until he finds someone else he actually respects and would have a proper relationship with.
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