Depressed Sag/Overly Concerned Cancer

My Sag boo just called me. He sounded so down and out. Las time we talked was Wed and he sounded about the same.He actually has been sounding loike this since the past weekend.

So, Wed he told me he was going to call me back, after he ate. He just got finish taking a nap (in the middle of the day), this is sooooo not like him. He never called. I text him yesterday morning and no response. SO I thought cool, he needs his space again, so I let it be. Well he just called and sounded so down and out. He asked where I been? I told him, right here. I told him it felt like he needed some space, so I didnt call. He then tells me, he has been in the house since Tuesday and sleeping all day and ONLY going out to get something to eat (has to eat he is a diabetic)and coming right back home. He does not want to deal with anyone or anything.I know he is having a stressful time right now, financially. I asked him was there anything I could do, he said no. I asked did he feel like hurting himself? He kind of chuckled and said "naw". I asked are you sure? because you never know what a person is truely going thru. he said "no". So I told him, to please call me if he needs ANYTHING and I understand exactly how he feels. I have been there.

I am a bit confused I know we are all human, but I never thought this happy go lucky/full of life/crazy Sag would ever get this low. I am not sure what I can do/or if I can make him feel better. I feel really helpless. I hate seeing people I love and care for hurting.

Any suggestions? I am worry myself sick about him. I just want to make him happy and get him back to his old self.

I also asked if he needed me to come over, his answer "no, this has to work out and I have to get over it".

Um... how long has he been your beau ?

Posted by David13
Um... how long has he been your beau ?

10 months

Oh... then you should know him relatively well by now... what does that Cancer intuition of yours tell you ?

Posted by David13
Oh... then you should know him relatively well by now... what does that Cancer intuition of yours tell you ?

to check on him daily, just so he knows I am there. but to a sag, that maybe smothering. I have been depressed like this before and let me tell you, the people that reached out to me, made my day. even if it was just to see if i needed anything to eat, or some compnay. but im a cancer girl, so I am way different than a male sag. i know they need space. space and more space. that is why i am so confused on what to do. I dont want to smother, but I dont want to make him feel like I am not there for him.

I think his call today was more like "where have u been you didnt call me yesterday".we usualy talk or very least text daily....

@Cancerboo:

I'm a Sag male and I almost went through this once in my life. I'm going to give you the truth.

His spirit is defeated. It happens after a long line of trying and not succeeding. He's closed himself off in search for answers and comfort...but he won't find it with what he's doing. He expends all of his energy thinking of what's happened instead of doing things to make him happy. Reality has set in and killed his optimism and positive nature so he doesn't even bother trying. So, he sleeps all day to get away from the pain of his vision and to escape the world. It is the only place he feels free.

The fact that he calls you means he cares and is reaching out, but until he makes peace with himself and the world, he's only going to get worse.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Is he out of a JOB? well why don't you invite him to a networking event, and help him set goals for himself so he can get out of his funk, the only way not to be depressed is to be active.

nope. alot oif financial responsibility tho....

I told him something similiar "Sometimes you have to force yourtself to get out. It is hard at first, but it will make u feel ALOT better."

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Cancerboo:

I'm a Sag male and I almost went through this once in my life. I'm going to give you the truth.

His spirit is defeated. It happens after a long line of trying and not succeeding. He's closed himself off in search for answers and comfort...but he won't find it with what he's doing. He expends all of his energy thinking of what's happened instead of doing things to make him happy. Reality has set in and killed his optimism and positive nature so he doesn't even bother trying. So, he sleeps all day to get away from the pain of his vision and to escape the world. It is the only place he feels free.

The fact that he calls you means he cares and is reaching out, but until he makes peace with himself and the world, he's only going to get worse.

Awww 😢

"His spirit is defeated" almost made me cry (such a simp). That mad ME hurt. wow.

Posted by size zero superhero
Considering you're a fellow Sag mooner, I doubt your attentive Cancerian ways will wear thin on him. Moon signs are known to represent & influence the emotional layer of our psyche.
Moon in Sagittarius doesn't suggest overbearing tendencies; quite the opposite, despite the sun sign's personality profile. If anything, your moon may act as the buffer-zone in terms of deciphering his sun's needs.

wow. thank you for the break down.

So we have been in constant contact. he seems to be doing a lil better. but I know him, i know it is a facade. he does not like people to keep asking him "are you alright"? So he will start acting "normal". Then a few days later he usually tells me, I just been telling people that so they will stop asking me that.

He finally got out the hpouse this weekend. I am glad he did. Spent time with his eldest son. Yesterday I could start to hear the stress in his voice again.

All I will/can do is be there for me when he needs me. I made some food for him, plan to take it to him. Home cook meals are always good for the soul 🙂

@beautifulsoul74 Your comment: "It happens after a long line of trying and not succeeding"


IS totally on spot with what he told me. He feels like he is the only one "trying". I cannot go into too much detail. But I know exactly what he means. I feel so bad and helpless. I told him "I just want to make you happy and if there is anything I can do please do not hesitate to come to me. I am here for you."

I am so in love with this man.

Posted by cancerboo
I am so in love with this man.

Hmmmm. So... this is just my impression... but as I am not sure about the whole of what is going on. I will start here:

"He never called. I text him yesterday morning and no response. SO I thought cool, he needs his space again, so I let it be. Well he just called and sounded so down and out. He asked where I been? I told him, right here. I told him it felt like he needed some space, so I didnt call."

Your intuition told you "to check on him daily, just so he knows I am there. but to a sag, that maybe smothering. I have been depressed like this before and let me tell you, the people that reached out to me, made my day. even if it was just to see if i needed anything to eat, or some company. but im a cancer girl, so I am way different than a male sag. i know they need space. space and more space. that is why i am so confused on what to do. I dont want to smother, but I dont want to make him feel like I am not there for him ."

It would seem to me, in the first paragraph I quoted here... he sought you out. In the second, you have right to feel confused... the bolded part here is about reassurance... which is probably something that will keep him away rather than pull him toward you. So... I am inclined to tell you to trust your intuition... but do the opposite of what it is telling you.

All the male Sagittarians that I have ever known... thrive on the challenge... the conquest. For you to present yourself as always 'being there' is reassuring... but that in itself might be weakening your position. Do you answer every sms and telephone call as soon as you receive them ? What if you didn't ? When someone asks for space... directly or indirectly... I think the only option sometimes, is to give them more than they asked for... you can only do so much cancerboo... at least for the now. He has gone into his proverbial cave... so instead of trying to follow him... push him in and put a big rock over the entrance so he is forced to get to work on his issues being resolved ! Of course after that, he will have to figure out how to move the big rock blocking him inside ! 😉

Just a different way to look at it. All my best cancerboo !

Thanks for the different outlook I do appreicate it.

To answer these questions:

Do you answer every sms and telephone call as soon as you receive them ? most of the time, yes.
What if you didn't ? he would blow my phone up until I did.

You may missed the semi update. on page 1. We have been in constant contact all weekend.

Posted by cancerboo
Thanks for the different outlook I do appreicate it.

To answer these questions:

Do you answer every sms and telephone call as soon as you receive them ? most of the time, yes.
What if you didn't ? he would blow my phone up until I did.

You may missed the semi update. on page 1. We have been in constant contact all weekend.

DAMN ! I DID miss THAT ! 😢

"All I will/can do is be there for [him] when he needs me"... this about sums it up. Just don't over-do it. If one has been starving for weeks, it is not so wise to let them binge... it won't stay down. Use the baby-spoons.

If he is a 'phone-blower-upper'... don't worry too much... he's not going anywhere ! 😉

CancerBoo:

Get him out of the house. While Solitude is ok, it's not in this situation. Honestly, if you and he have the mesns, a trip is in order. Doesn't matter where you go or what you do. As long as he gets away and has a memorable moment. He needs to recharge his spirit. You being there for him is great but try not to overdo it. He may be a little "snappy" and slightly mean at times but its not intentional. He's trying to figure out what's bothering him and he hates not felling positive.

Posted by David13

Posted by cancerboo
Thanks for the different outlook I do appreicate it.

To answer these questions:

Do you answer every sms and telephone call as soon as you receive them ? most of the time, yes.
What if you didn't ? he would blow my phone up until I did.

You may missed the semi update. on page 1. We have been in constant contact all weekend.

DAMN ! I DID miss THAT ! 😢

"All I will/can do is be there for [him] when he needs me"... this about sums it up. Just don't over-do it. If one has been starving for weeks, it is not so wise to let them binge... it won't stay down. Use the baby-spoons.

If he is a 'phone-blower-upper'... don't worry too much... he's not going anywhere ! 😉

click to expand

Thank you! 🙂

Posted by beautifulsoul74
CancerBoo:

Get him out of the house. While Solitude is ok, it's not in this situation. Honestly, if you and he have the mesns, a trip is in order. Doesn't matter where you go or what you do. As long as he gets away and has a memorable moment. He needs to recharge his spirit. You being there for him is great but try not to overdo it. He may be a little "snappy" and slightly mean at times but its not intentional. He's trying to figure out what's bothering him and he hates not felling positive.

I definitely wont over do it. he called me this morning he sounds like he back to his chipper self. so we will see.

Thanks again everyone for your advice.