Exclusively talking vs. dating? (Libra x Capri)

This guy and I have been "talking" for about a month now. We've had sex, I've met his family, we've gone out on several dates and have sleepovers, and talk literally non stop from morning to night. Last week a conversation kinda just came up, and we talked about how we're not seeing anybody else.??And just 2 nights ago, I was spending the night and someone texted me kinda late and he asked who I was texting which shows he cares. (It was like 3 am so I understand why! He's far from insecure) So whats the deal, whats next? I don't know if were just exclusively talking or would this be dating? I have a 2 year old daughter so I don't know if that confuses him on how to approach moving up with me or what the deal is. He talks about me to his friends, made a little album on his phone with pics of me, and talks to his mom about me. haha so whats going on! thanks guys!PS] Im a Libra/Scorpio Cusp (oct. 21) and hes a Capricorn. I find I have to make first moves and kinda pull to open him up, although his interest in me is without a doubt there with mine. Is this something I need to do more pulling? Gahhh. -___-

Ahhhhth the undeclared relationship. You two became exclusive without talking about it. He expects it and so do you. Put the shoe on the other foot. You wouldn't be curious about him getting a text at 3am? In reality, both sexes know that when someone hits you up that late its someone of the opposite sex and that person has more than an interest in just being friends. Benefit of the doubt given, he's now more suspicious than before. If this happened at first, he would've been curious but this late in game he may think there's something going on.

He's a Cap so he will be reserved right off the top a d it takes them a loooong time to trust and open up. To completely let you in. This no doubt appeals to you because he's mysterious and you want his complete trust. The fact that he does all the things you said suggests that he's into you. You just have to give him time. Maybe you should ask your questions in the Capricorn forum. Best wishes!

Posted by QUlETstorm
I agree with beautifulsoul, he's going to be slow and reserved. You could come right out and ask him. You could explain to him that because you have a daughter, you'd like to know whether or not this will be moving forward before allowing her to get attached to him.

I also hate when people ASSUME that it's someone of the opposite sex texting you at 3am. I work nights at the hospital, so my friends will text me at any and all hours of the morning. I also text my sisters in the middle of the night even though I know they're probably sleeping. 😛

Ha ha QS....that's understood but if the OP worked at the hospital she would've said so 😛

Some threads have been made on the scorp boards about our tendency to have undeclared relationships... but that is usually how scorps are. We usually expect exclusivity after sex, cuz you need to give us all the sex, not others. We are wanting more, and more, and more ... not sure about leebs and caps.

And I am expecting that from the cap I am seeing. We never had "the talk." But he knows I expect exclusivity and that I give exclusivity. And L-words have been used by both parties... so he better dip his wick in this wax only

Posted by AreTwoFour
And I am expecting that from the cap I am seeing. We never had "the talk." But he knows I expect exclusivity and that I give exclusivity. And L-words have been used by both parties... so he better dip his wick in this wax only

I heard that!

Ask him! If he doesn't answer right away, tell him "If you don't have an answer I understand, I'm just curious to where this is headed" Try to use these exact words. We word things properly for a reason...

oh groan, am I too old, since when did having sex with someone, meeting their family, talking all of the time and having sleepover come to be called "talking". Is this an American thing that the talk about relationship needs to occur, in my little country if all of the above had taking place you would be in a relationship as a given. Actually you would be in a relationship having kissed so backward we seem to be 😉 Maybe he thinks you are in a relationship, maybe he is old-fashioned, or Irish, and assumes having done all of the above that he is in an actual relationship. Do people talk about this nowadays, is there an official ceremony, laying down of a brush and hopping over it hand in hand.

Posted by celticlioness
oh groan, am I too old, since when did having sex with someone, meeting their family, talking all of the time and having sleepover come to be called "talking". Is this an American thing that the talk about relationship needs to occur, in my little country if all of the above had taking place you would be in a relationship as a given. Actually you would be in a relationship having kissed so backward we seem to be 😉 Maybe he thinks you are in a relationship, maybe he is old-fashioned, or Irish, and assumes having done all of the above that he is in an actual relationship. Do people talk about this nowadays, is there an official ceremony, laying down of a brush and hopping over it hand in hand.

Its not just an American thing Celtic as I've seen people from all over the world come here with this exact scenario. Its not just a generational thing either. What you say is the truth, its a given in reality. This is not directed at the OP, but unfortunately the reason it has to be discussed in the fact that people use the fact that its not "verbally declared" as a reason to still do what they want. Simply put, it's about ego and expectation. Yeah, you might say you're "free" but if you discovered that the other person is seeing someone else, you'd be upset and disappointed deep down no matter how many times you deny it.

No, a relationship shouldn't have to be declared but unfortunately it has to be because some people use the fact that it isn't as justification for doing something they know isn't right and ultimately don't want to be done to themselves.

Posted by beelibra

.... and talk literally non stop from morning to night.

You lost credibility right here .... at this point, it is realized that you aren't honest.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by beelibra

.... and talk literally non stop from morning to night.

You lost credibility right here .... at this point, it is realized that you aren't honest.

click to expand

Uhhh what are you talking about? At least explain if your going to say something like that that makes no sense.

Ahhh one of those. Hahaha the visual suited it perfectly! Hahaha!

Just tell him you're not interested in seeing other people and see what he says back. That's a way of opening the door to communication without actually having to put him on the spot.

If she has to be the on to be to bring up exclusivity this won't last that long. I dunno why women (some) go into these laid back situations only to secretly fret over if it's exclusive or not.

An undeclared relationship means you are not in an exclusive relationship unless at some point you discuss it together so until he confirms he's taking himself off the market he has no say so in who text you until he PROFESS he's off the market until then you're single but if you want to give yourself up for the IDEA of being in a committed relationship then that's on you.

Posted by celticlioness
oh groan, am I too old, since when did having sex with someone, meeting their family, talking all of the time and having sleepover come to be called "talking".

I said the same thing in her other thread. This "talking" bit is just a youngin scaredy cat way of calling something not a relationship. Along the lines somewhere, "dating" became a "serious" term and "talking" replaced what dating actually was. I asked someone once what they meant by that a few years ago when I kept hearing them refer to "talking." According to them, it means hanging out and no sex.

...so dating. But apparently dating includes sex.

This is what happens when society shelters kids. It makes them retarded as fuck in relating and dating. Not directed at you per se, OP. Just generally to the concept of "talking."

In regard to needing to define if something is a relationship or not, it's almost becoming necessary with people's lack of morals. You have to have that talk so you're on the same page. One person may think it's exclusive and the other doesn't because they haven't expressed wanting to consider it a relationship. It SHOULD be pretty telltale, but to talk basically covers everyone's asses. No talk makes some shadier individuals think that they can come and go as they please. Oh, sleeping around? That's okay! We never claimed exclusivity!

I just had a scorp friend tell me about this chick he'd been seeing. She assumed they were in a relationship at some point. She even updated it on Facebook. But as she did that, he went and hooked up with the ex. They'd never talked about the direction of the relationship and he assumed he could still come (no pun) and go as he pleased. The girl found out and wants nothing to do with him.

I'm at the same point with the guy I've been seeing. It seems pretty obvious it's probably an exclusive thing. But there have been a few occasions that have left me wondering . I plan on talking to him about it because after 2 months of dating and the whole thing totalling 4 months, I'd like to know what he wants to do because if there are other girls, I am not going to be one of many and I'm out if that's the case.

Unfortunately, in today's society, the talk prevents the guy (usually) from having his cake and eating it too.

+1 Rocky

The "not talking" is a relationship trap. The woman assumes because he's doing all the right things, appearing jealous/concerned about whose calling her, hanging with her and/or talking with her almost every day that HE'S OFF THE MARKET, no, you're the only one that's going to be off the market until/unless "the actual" professing from his own very mouth that he's exclusively dating you, having sex with you is confirmed.

Some males don't want love, they want sex and they'll sell the love package to get sex. Testing the p**** out and still have one foot out the door to go do his own thing. Until he says something to conclude he's not dating anyone, he isn't going to sleep with anyone and you're his girlfriend, treat it casual and don't stop doing your life. If he don't like other men contacting you well he can do something about it if it bothers him that much.

Posted by QUlETstorm
The phrase "we're talking" is a sort of slang used in different areas, just like how easy coast people say "soda" and Midwest people call it "pop". It's nothing more than that. It's a phrase used here in the Midwest and "we're talking" means we're seeing each other, usually at the beginning stages of getting to know someone.

Well that's the logical thing. Of course when you first meet someone there's "talking." But once you guys have something going for awhile, it's well beyond "talking." I see too many people refer to it as "talking" when it's really "dating." Hell, I referred to this when everything initially started with this guy I'm seeing. ...because it literally was that - talking. When we finally had time to go out together, it became "dating." To call it "talking" after dating, fucking, etc, is kind of inaccurate. I dunno, I blame the immaturity that's being instilled into society.

Like I told the OP in her other thread- I'm concerned that it's moved this fast within a month. Especially for a Cap. Regardless of sign, I'd be a bit wary of a guy moving that fast.

@ tiki- Agreed. I think women need to realize that guys will gladly take a cop out in order to not take responsibility for their actions. It never hurts to bring it up. If the guy isn't a jerk, he wouldn't mind the question.

And while that jealousy thing may boost the ego and make you think he's that into you (and he could be) it could just be nothing but a typical territorial guy thing. Again, guys want their cake and to eat it too. They may be jealous and not like the idea of other guys, but it doesn't mean that they're not out screwing around because there has been no formal discussion on wtf it is that you two are doing.

Again, not all guys are like this but women seriously need to realize that this bullshit happens all the time and have to take simple measures, like proper communication, in order to protect themselves from getting used and burned. Guys too, if they come across shady women.

you guys all make very good points. He's so hot and cold sometimes that I don't know really how to act, sometimes I rather walk away because its way too complicated. I guess because are horoscopes are so different from each other, I mean obviously that's not exactly it... But we're so different and me being so communicative and him more reserved, makes it hard to read him, there for making it hard to know what's going on. For instance he'll be very talkative and will be texting, and then out of nowhere he's completely short or seems irritated. Me being my Libra self, I'll start over analyzing and wondering what I did, but in reality... I didn't do anything so I shouldn't fret myself. Men are soo complicated. what do you suppose a cat moving this fast could mean? Sometimes I feel like because of how hot and cold he can be, he's only in it for the sex. But he shows concern if he comes off wrong, if I think he's ignoring me, and he wants to actually talk to me... Men just want sex don't do that, I know this much. So the whole moving fasting does confuse me, because I can see how caps move slow but in this case I'm lost because he's doing both. you know what they need to do? Phone calls, letters like back in the day, not all of this wishy washy crap. I'm so not fond of Modern time.