Fight to get Leo Female back

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by Breeze on Monday, May 29, 2017 and has 12 replies.
*My long story* my delivery may be all over the place too so bare with me.lol

-me 29 male libra

-her 28 female leo

Me and my now ex were in a 5 year relationship. She moved in after the 3rd month of us dating because of circumstance. Over time we become lovers and bestfriends. We would never fight but have arguments and she would go in another room and i would give her her space. Shed come back 20 mins later saying how she wanted me to chase her or check on her but never did. So over the years we built a strong bond. We moved out to our first appartment and brought us even closer. Use to alway hug and tell her we made it. My charisma and charm drove her nuts.

Well over the years i had to accept that we had different sex drives. I had to ask or beg or get excuses for sex from my woman. Brought this issue up numerous times and she would just put a bandaid over then fall back into old habbits. We both got comfortable and she stopped doing things that made me fall for her and i started taking her for granted. I have a lack expressing my emotions. Fast forward to the end of our lease at appartment. We had sex and it was just handed to me like come on so we can go. Boring and no excitment at all! I felt the passion and romance has left now. She never intiated kissing, sex rubbing etc so never really felt wanted. Was thinking if its like this now, while shes in grad school, if i marry and have kids itll just get worse and ill be unhappy.

So i broke up off right before holloween after a failed attempt earlier that month. I couldnt because our bond was so strong. So i told her i was leaving to go to my parents when we broke up. Took all my stuff when she wasnt home and she came home and was devastated. Thought it woukd be easier if she wasnt home for her. WRONG!

I rebounded and didnt pay her any mind because i wanted out and attention was elsewhere. So as im seeing the rebound chick sex is exciting (in december before christmas) and we kinda connected. Meanwhile me not knowing she met a dude right after break up, they went out and she had all types of sex with him.(2-3 weeks after break up) It hurt me badly because if im your soulmate, this sexy man and you want to have my babies why didnt I get that treatment. Pushed me away more. So i forgave weeks after because we werent together. As time goes on im still contacting my ex but pushing her away. Months goes past of her trying and im still thinking of her while with rebound. Vday comes and finds out im with another girl, devastated all over again. I was so hurt for her i felt her pain. We were still connected in a way and i told her that i could feel her pain, emotions and when she got better i felt it. So after that she hated me blah blah blah. Got over it forgave and we were still friends.

I still contacted her and would hint that i wanted her back but never said it. She would try to pry it out of me but i couldnt express it. 2 months later, i drop rebound, im like an open book and expressing my love and how i miss and have realised how much she meant to me. Come to find out shes been seeing a guy for almost 2 months. Mutual friend said she says hes doing things i wasnt but i know her so well and our history would be terrible to throw away. In the beginning ever guy does that, its new and we havent had sex yet.lol

So i come back and i say i miss her first and it shocked her. She wanted me to do this back then. I still confess my love and how i F'd up, realise she the 1 for me. She tells mutual friend that her emotions are puzzeled, needs time and doesnt know what to do. Would say if he comes back its meant to be months ago.

She would still reply to my text and pick up phone when i call or facetime. Id ask her to hangout she would say maybe, ill think about but wont decline. After she got home from being out other night I think i struck a cord with a text so she called me. We were on phone for 4 hours and fell asleep on phone. I texted her good morning with a, " i never been afraid to lose anything but nothing has meant to me as much as you do" meme to no reply.

She use to always say she wants me to chase her but ive never chased a female in my life. So im doing so now but giving her her space. I have a dozen red roses with baby breath being delivered to her job this week to show actions and not just words via text/phone.

So my question is this... finally me coming around and expressing my love and how i realised shes the one for me making so many vaild points about our history. Do you think she'll come back to me? Not saying in 2 days but her and new guy arent serious at the moment. Also, do you think shes paying hard to get? Does she want me to chase her like all those other times i never did? What aboutbthe flowers, good idea? Shoud i do no contact snd wait? I TOLD her im going to fight to get her back. I found i truely do love this girl with the time apart. I think we just needed some time and space.

Bump. Can any leos or others help?!
hmmmmm it's such a personally specific situation for both of you, it might be kind of hard for the Leo creowd here to give you any advice.

My take is she's movin' on - and you should too...

too much water under that bridge meh frend.

Take a year off, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Seriously, talking at minimum a year of space between youeh.

And of course, wishing you much good luck in your romantic endeavours smile
Posted by wagtail
hmmmmm it's such a personally specific situation for both of you, it might be kind of hard for the Leo creowd here to give you any advice.

My take is she's movin' on - and you should too...

too much water under that bridge meh frend.

Take a year off, and if it's meant to be it'll happen. Seriously, talking at minimum a year of space between youeh.

And of course, wishing you much good luck in your romantic endeavours smile
My charming ways overwhelmed her. She doesnt know what she wants and still ask for space and time. I granted them because i dont want to push her away. So no contact will be done.

She liked the flowers and i bought tickets to a show that she was curious about. She loves surprises. I think shell remember this day full of sweet gestures because if the attention and will wonder. Also, another man has her full attention so.

Ill just sit back and work to become a better man for me and the future.
Posted by susu
you hurt her and a leo female obviously has pride..she will make you work for it if you're still in her heart.

If she gave up, it's too late to get her back. Time to move on
I believe i am, someone else has her attention right now and think thats whats shes persuing at the moment. I bought her flowers and got 2 tickets to a show. She said she will let me know about the show. Has never told me no but then states she doesnt want to lead me on. The chase is what i see she wsnts from me. Im just going to do no contact and see what happens
Posted by susu
Posted by Breeze
Posted by susu
you hurt her and a leo female obviously has pride..she will make you work for it if you're still in her heart.

If she gave up, it's too late to get her back. Time to move on
I believe i am, someone else has her attention right now and think thats whats shes persuing at the moment. I bought her flowers and got 2 tickets to a show. She said she will let me know about the show. Has never told me no but then states she doesnt want to lead me on. The chase is what i see she wsnts from me. Im just going to do no contact and see what happens


you have see where in the relationship you stand, so that's one but don't play games like that. especially, if you're at a critical stage. ask yourself, what is it that you really want.

do you really love her? do you want to put her in more pain?

if you loved her, instead of doing no contact, just talk to her a bit. don't ask her to come outside anymore though until she gives a response..and i guess communicate slowly or there will be a hole in the relationship that you might not be able to patch up

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I dont want to cause her any more pain. If its not with me she can still be happy. Just because im by myself wont do that to her. Cant keep contact with her because thinking about her doesnt help me from moving on with my life. Thinking about her brings me down. If i contact itll slow me down and ill hurt. So no contact will be to help me move on first and or her miss me. When im better i can check up on her and not affect me. Her bday is late july so a simple bday text is when i could communicate and i should be ok by then.
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Breeze
Posted by susu
Posted by Breeze
Posted by susu
you hurt her and a leo female obviously has pride..she will make you work for it if you're still in her heart.

If she gave up, it's too late to get her back. Time to move on
I believe i am, someone else has her attention right now and think thats whats shes persuing at the moment. I bought her flowers and got 2 tickets to a show. She said she will let me know about the show. Has never told me no but then states she doesnt want to lead me on. The chase is what i see she wsnts from me. Im just going to do no contact and see what happens


you have see where in the relationship you stand, so that's one but don't play games like that. especially, if you're at a critical stage. ask yourself, what is it that you really want.

do you really love her? do you want to put her in more pain?

if you loved her, instead of doing no contact, just talk to her a bit. don't ask her to come outside anymore though until she gives a response..and i guess communicate slowly or there will be a hole in the relationship that you might not be able to patch up

I dont want to cause her any more pain. If its not with me she can still be happy. Just because im by myself wont do that to her. Cant keep contact with her because thinking about her doesnt help me from moving on with my life. Thinking about her brings me down. If i contact itll slow me down and ill hurt. So no contact will be to help me move on first and or her miss me. When im better i can check up on her and not affect me. Her bday is late july so a simple bday text is when i could communicate and i should be ok by then.
What about the sex? You left her because your sex life wasn't satisfying to you... How do you know you won't feel the same way again?

You broke up with her... You told her she wasn't doing things right sexually (ego blow) ... So yeah you've hurt her.. And I don't know if she will take you back.

But I'm just wondering what will you do about the sex.. because that's the reason why you broke up with her.. And I don't think you two may have changed in that aspect...

If she doesn't satisfy you will you break up with her again?
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Seek outside help and try to communicate and connect on levels we didnt the first time. Listen to her and she should open like a flower, maybe.

Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Breeze
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by Breeze
Posted by susu
Posted by Breeze
Posted by susu
you hurt her and a leo female obviously has pride..she will make you work for it if you're still in her heart.

If she gave up, it's too late to get her back. Time to move on
I believe i am, someone else has her attention right now and think thats whats shes persuing at the moment. I bought her flowers and got 2 tickets to a show. She said she will let me know about the show. Has never told me no but then states she doesnt want to lead me on. The chase is what i see she wsnts from me. Im just going to do no contact and see what happens


you have see where in the relationship you stand, so that's one but don't play games like that. especially, if you're at a critical stage. ask yourself, what is it that you really want.

do you really love her? do you want to put her in more pain?

if you loved her, instead of doing no contact, just talk to her a bit. don't ask her to come outside anymore though until she gives a response..and i guess communicate slowly or there will be a hole in the relationship that you might not be able to patch up

I dont want to cause her any more pain. If its not with me she can still be happy. Just because im by myself wont do that to her. Cant keep contact with her because thinking about her doesnt help me from moving on with my life. Thinking about her brings me down. If i contact itll slow me down and ill hurt. So no contact will be to help me move on first and or her miss me. When im better i can check up on her and not affect me. Her bday is late july so a simple bday text is when i could communicate and i should be ok by then.
What about the sex? You left her because your sex life wasn't satisfying to you... How do you know you won't feel the same way again?

You broke up with her... You told her she wasn't doing things right sexually (ego blow) ... So yeah you've hurt her.. And I don't know if she will take you back.

But I'm just wondering what will you do about the sex.. because that's the reason why you broke up with her.. And I don't think you two may have changed in that aspect...

If she doesn't satisfy you will you break up with her again?
Seek outside help and try to communicate and connect on levels we didnt the first time. Listen to her and she should open like a flower, maybe.

I don't know if outside therapy works.... so maybe look at different ways of helping with that. Communicate to her... why you said those things before about sex.. why you broke up.. what wasn't working.. how you are feeling now. Be honest.


I don't know if she will be open to outside therapy but yeah just let her know why you did what you did... what you are going through now.. and what you hope to do to make things right.

Hopefully she will agree to you.

If not time to move on.

And next time before you dump a girl for bad sex, etc try therapy.
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I agree with your advice. How i want to go about things if i get a second chance. I didnt need her to be like 50 shades of grey freaky.lol i just wanted the romance, intimacy back and consistant sex. Once every 5-7 days in your 20s, own appartment with no kids isnt cutting it. Was like pulling teeth to get her started but once there she was good.

I came across this and sounds exactly how we were... *werent married though.

But today I want to talk about marriages where there are no huge struggles -- except for sexual intimacy.

One spouse wants sex more often.  The other spouse couldn't care less about sex.

Maybe sex happens every now and then, but usually in these marriages, weeks or months will go by with no sex.  Obligatory sex makes its appearance occasionally, just to keep the peace.

But eh, not always.

What then?  Well, maybe you see your own marriage peek out from this sexual dynamic:

The refused spouse responds to the ongoing refusal by taking a practical approach. They logistically think that if they can just "win" their spouse over with good deeds and romantic gestures, the natural response from their disengaged spouse will be more sexual interest.

Sadly, that usually doesn't happen.

So then the refused spouse tries to address the issue in a more direct way through conversations or questions about "what may be wrong" or "why don't you want to have sex" and so forth.

This usually garners a bit of defensiveness from the spouse who is doing the refusing.

The spouse who doesn't see sex as a priority starts to throw into the arena questions like "Is that all you think about?" and "It's just about sex, isn't it?"

A back-and-forth battle ensues. it's intermittent, though, resulting in discouragement and anger, but rarely humility and hunger to draw close.

Classic passive aggressiveness from both sides may arrive on the scene too.  Silent treatment. Manipulation. Withholding sex as a way to punish a spouse.  Lack of respect.  Sabotaging things that are important to one another.

The emotional chasm is like a sleeping giant just below the surface. It begins to define their new normal of little or no sex.

And then, if all of that doesn't compel some positive change, they arrive at a crossroads.

I say "they," but what I really mean is that one of them -- the rejected spouse -- has arrived at the crossroads.  The spouse doing the refusing is oblivious that the crossroads is right beneath their feet (or right in the middle of their bed, as the case may be).

At this crossroads, the refused spouse makes a decision -- to either shut down completely sexually (setting up unspoken emotional distance and boundaries at the same time) OR to begin begging for sex.

this is sad

sorry you didn't get your way but sometimes that's what happens

i'm not big on trying to 'fix' relationships that are being on a point beyond repair, clearly you both are different than how you've been before

those special memories are as good as memorial but trying to change it based on that will hurt both sides, maybe not hurt but dissapoint for sure
She wants to go out as friends to show now as of this morning. After last night saying she needed space and time. Just as friends, nothing more so i dont get mixed signals. Clearly she is sending me signals. Is she playing hard to get?
Posted by 2Moon
" I sent her a meme, she didn't reply... "

Sigh. Ahh l'amour!

-------------


This is love! in 2017.. Big Grin
Was attached with a good morning text. I say i a part of the last generation but the back end. Born in 88 so i still know the right way to do things.
As a Leo woman after I read your situation I was somewhat a bit annoyed for both parties ?

Now obviously you still have deep feelings for her and what you both shared with eachother is only felt between you two, so only take my words with a grain of salt - but I will try and break it down for you.

She sounds like she has personal issues that she needs to work on. A passive aggressive relationship is not worth it! Regardless of signs I think she either was really frustrated and bored of the relationship and stayed with you because it was comfortable and it was manageable. I say this because she didn't want to give you sex and made it overly difficult, and cruel. It may started off as teasing (Leo females likes to tease and be a 'temptation' and she wants to feel irresistable) but once a Leo loses respect, or lose interest it can easily become an act of cruelty.

Leos likes sex and we often have a really high sex drive.

You commenting on how much sex she should be giving you is interpreted to her as you telling her what to do, Depending on the amount of repetition she could also considered it as you nagging her.


Her deverstation on the break up seems more like a painful shock, don't get that confused with her being in love with you. Obviously you both were in an intimate relationship with eachother for a very long time and a break up will always hurt because of the memories you both shared with eachother. Leo females are sentimental and will probably like you more than they actually do.

She's confused because now there is another man involved who probably isn't that much better than you but she probably see a different end result than she didn't with you. I say this because Leo females will only be nice to an ex that BROKE UP with them if the new person is nothing that special. If her new man is incredibly better than you (in her opinion) then she wouldn't think twice about rejecting you. So, it means that you may still have a chance.

On your part, the roses and show tickets is a good move, but don't over do it. If you overdo it she will expect more and more every time and eventually will get quite spoilt. (Leos often think they deserve it, so they won't do much in return for the gifts if they aren't that interested)

She probably reconsidered because she might feel bad - which is why she offered going as 'friends' or she's going to the show with you to test you, or her feelings. I think she's using that opportunity to decide how she really feels about you.

You may have felt abandoned and unappreciated because she hardly gave you sex but you also mentioned that you have a hard time showing your emotions; she probably felt that the relationship was somewhat emotionally lacking. You both have different needs that didn't successfully compromised, so is it worth a try again?


I do think you both should have time apart and do your own thing for a period of time. If you both went straight to rebounds after the break up I don't think it would work a second try tbh.

I hope this helps! But as I said, take this with a grain of salt ? At the end of the day it is your choice and only you know what is best for you.