Friends of opp sex while in a relationship?

This forum is stupid and cut off the text.

Shortened version; would you get jealous if your bf/gf had a totally platonic longterm friend before you came into the picture? My bf has 2, I have 2. I just get jealous with how much he talks to one; every day, texts/phone calls. He's a very big phone guy though, calls his guy friends etc.

He says he has taken the big brother/life coach/mentor role for her and wants the best for her, a good guy etc. he says he knows too much about her and is grossed out to ever see her as more than a good platonic friend. He tells her about me a lot, sends pics, and she really wants to meet me.

I find myself getting jealous even though I have 2 best platonic guy friends, one of which IS my room mate and my bf is totally cool with him.

What is your opinion on opp sex friendships when dating? We are talking longterm prior to the bf/gf, both of us find it inappropriate to make new friends of the opp sex while dating.

I don't have a problem with it.

We we both just agreed to not make new friends of the opposite sex because it isn't appropriate. It's out of respect not fear.

And thanks for saying the "it would have already happened" that's EXACTLY what my platonic male room mate said.

However, I have been on the other side of spectrum....where I had a total platonic friend of years and randomly one night when both were single we hooked up. Just once though and went back to being just friends. I do know multiple cases of this though, or a strong romantic connection built! Friends for years, then married.

I do know if I presented myself to my best guy friend and said I wanted him he would say no because he is about to get married to my other friend.

BUT if it wasnt for my bf (because my room mate actually likes him) if I presented myself to him and he was still single, I know he would accept.

It just makes me think that some guys don't have self control.

As long as she stays in her lane, we're good.

Tell your Scorp your concerns, but be advised, if he makes a similar request you will need to give up your friends as well. I am not suggesting either one of you have to though. I don't have a problem with it personally, especially if the relationship was established before--just as long as she knows the position I hold and she does not disrespect me and our relationship. The tricky thing is, we all have different lines that we think should not be crossed (e.g. calling very late to "chat" may work for some, but will not work for others). The lines you do not think should be crossed need to be discussed and agreed upon with your Scorp.

What exactly do you want? Do you want them to stop being friends or just have less contact? Also, ask yourself why.

...2 freaking hours to re-post.....*sigh*

I need to work on building more trust but it's not just me that thinks making new friends of os is innapropriate. If you make one together, that's dif (my best guy friend and my close friend his fianc? I met together, and I hang out with them 90% as a pair).

My bf even says he could totally understand me getting jealous if he started dropping random girl names. Me: "hey babe, whatcha doing tonight?" Him: "grabbing a drink with Ashley." Me: "who's Ashley? I don't remember you mentioning her before" him: "oh, a new girl at work. I want to get to know her better..."

Um red flag!! He was the one that first brought it up and said it would be shady as well as me doing it.

Opp sex friends new in a group; that you meet, and hang out with in a group are different. For ex, if I meet one of his female friends and get along with her bf and we hang out in public setting etc. not going to exchange numbers, but you get the idea.

Making "innocent" male friends while in a relationship and going to karaoke etc and getting attention from this man while an ex was ignoring me was how I strayed. Now, I was young and would never do it again but you get the idea. Why risk? Not worth it to put yourself in that position. That incident also made me realize long distance relationships suck.

Phoenix, that's a good question. I guess it's the amount of contact. He will briefly talk to her on the phone when he's with me, or if he is running to the store to get something he may call her on the way etc or get caught up. But he is a total phone guy. If he's calling her, chances are he's calling his dude friends too. I know he's talked to them for an hour before etc. I'm a texter, huge texter. Not so much phone.

Sometimes she will give him a call at 2am because something hilarious happened to her etc. I get annoyed, but I would text my guy friends the same thing at any hour. She is up odd hours, so am I. I just feel like it's TOO much contact.

But he assures me nothing will ever happen...she's one of his best friends. I just get jealous of their relationship on how she "gets him" they "have so much in common" he "loves talking to her" "cares about her" (his words) I snapped and said, "then why aren't you with her if you guys are so great together?" He says it's not like that though.

Ugh I hate this jealousy. But here I am LIVING with my man friend and running back and forth in my undies hoping he doesn't see

Posted by Agentgem24
I need to work on building more trust but it's not just me that thinks making new friends of os is innapropriate. If you make one together, that's dif (my best guy friend and my close friend his fianc? I met together, and I hang out with them 90% as a pair).

My bf even says he could totally understand me getting jealous if he started dropping random girl names. Me: "hey babe, whatcha doing tonight?" Him: "grabbing a drink with Ashley." Me: "who's Ashley? I don't remember you mentioning her before" him: "oh, a new girl at work. I want to get to know her better..."

Um red flag!! He was the one that first brought it up and said it would be shady as well as me doing it.

I guess I look for different things when/if my partner mentions a female name that happens to be a friend.

Me: "hey babe, whatcha doing tonight?"
Him: "grabbing a drink with Ashley."
Me: "who's Ashley? I don't remember you mentioning her before"
Him: "oh, a new girl at work. I want to get to know her better..."

Wouldn't bother me as much as:

Me: "hey babe, whatcha doing tonight?"
Him: "grabbing a drink with a friend."
Me: "Okay, with *insert name*?" (assuming I know his friends)
Him: "Um, no. Just a friend from work....Ashley"

This would raise a flag for me because I would want to know why I had to ask additional questions just to get this answer. If it's not an issue there should be no reason to hide it.

Ah I see, yeah secretive doesn't work with me.

But him going on about how much he likes talking to her and what a great friendship they have is just...I feel the same with my male friends, but sometimes it's better to not talk about if? Maybe that's just me. Some things better left unsaid.

Posted by Agentgem24

But he assures me nothing will ever happen...she's one of his best friends. I just get jealous of their relationship on how she "gets him" they "have so much in common" he "loves talking to her" "cares about her" (his words) I snapped and said, "then why aren't you with her if you guys are so great together?" He says it's not like that though.

Yeah, this is what I thought. This is tricky because we should all feel comfortable and secure with the person we are involved with, however there is the need to recognize that your insecurities need to be addressed on a personal level.

I'm not going to comment on the late night calls, because the boundaries you set in your relationship is for the two of you to determine--but you need to set them. If you don't let him know that something bothers you (not vague--"I don't like that you guys talk too much" statements), then this will be an ongoing issue. Also, it isn't your jealousy you need to work on. It's your insecurity.

You do realize that you've only known the man for a few months right? History, memories, knowing someone (if you can ever really know a water sign) takes years. You want to be in a position you have not earned yet. This girl is not helping matters though. Neither is your Scorp honestly.

Actually, I will say one thing, but before I do, I need to ask do the two of you live together? I forgot.

No I don't live with him. I actually live with a male platonic friend and he knows my insecurities with my bfs best platonic female friend and he thinks I'm being irrational and have nothing to worry about.

So do my other friends. My Pisces friend says if I can't learn to trust him and get over it, then it will tear the relationship apart. She is very secure with her Aquarius husband. She says dont worry unless you need to.

I also have another super close guy friend that I talk to all the time but it's different. He's about to be married and I am equally close friends with his soon to be wife.

I'm also not attracted to him OR my platonic male room mate.


Bf says he thinks his female friend is pretty but he's not attracted TO her. He has a love for her (he says, "just like you have with ____&____" (my guy friends) but I am not IN love with her. We are great friends; but I know too much about her personally and she isn't the type I can be romantic with or girlfriend material.

He said because of her in the beginning of her friendship at the height of her crazy party days and avoidance personality disorder, he was able to get with girls like her and had an inside look at what they liked and how easy it was to..."control" was his words. But he says he's over that and he wants a real relationship with someone real and genuine, like me.

Thanks scorp. I haven't said anything about the late night talking although I did say I wished he would not talk to her on the phone so much all the time.

Boundaries with her that were established in the beginning would be for him not to go over to her house, and for them not to hang out more than a few times a month. Drinks, lunch, coffee, acceptable one on one. Anything else group setting. He suggested movie and said he would have no issue with me going to see a movie with one of my guy friends but the thing is, I told him that wouldn't happen with my guy friends...I find it too intimate a setting and I would feel weird about it. If he wants to see a movie I don't, he can take a guy friend.

I watch movies in my apartment with my guy room mate but we aren't even sitting on the SAME piece of furniture. I'm on a couch on one side, he's on a chair on the other.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by IrresistableScorp

Posted by Agentgem24

However, I have been on the other side of spectrum....where I had a total platonic friend of years and randomly one night when both were single we hooked up.

Bingo! Just because you did something doesn't mean someone else is going to do it. This is called projection. Just saying.

Trust your partner. But PR makes an excellent point about simply setting *reasonable* boundaries. Reasonable of course being boundaries that are not ego-based or unreasonably controlling. Those NEVER work out...

HOME BEFORE SIX OR THE ANKLE BRACELET IS SET TO STUN

click to expand

Stun? You'll need CPR.

What superficial part?

Posted by Agentgem24
No I don't live with him. I actually live with a male platonic friend and he knows my insecurities with my bfs best platonic female friend and he thinks I'm being irrational and have nothing to worry about.

So do my other friends. My Pisces friend says if I can't learn to trust him and get over it, then it will tear the relationship apart. She is very secure with her Aquarius husband. She says dont worry unless you need to.

I also have another super close guy friend that I talk to all the time but it's different. He's about to be married and I am equally close friends with his soon to be wife.

I'm also not attracted to him OR my platonic male room mate.


Bf says he thinks his female friend is pretty but he's not attracted TO her. He has a love for her (he says, "just like you have with ____&____" (my guy friends) but I am not IN love with her. We are great friends; but I know too much about her personally and she isn't the type I can be romantic with or girlfriend material.

He said because of her in the beginning of her friendship at the height of her crazy party days and avoidance personality disorder, he was able to get with girls like her and had an inside look at what they liked and how easy it was to..."control" was his words. But he says he's over that and he wants a real relationship with someone real and genuine, like me.

Sorry, you did write that. I'm filtering. Hmph....Okay. I'll keep my comment about all of that to myself then. Set your boundaries.

No, I want to hear your comment 🙂

-sigh- it's amazing how I could go from a great mood to an instant crappy one in the blink of an eye. I wish my emotions werent so up and down. The more I dwell on it the more I want to escape it completely. But what good will that do? "Oops, I don't like these intense feelings and things aren't going EXACTLY as I like them too, time to bail!"

And I also wonder why I can't seem to get my ex out of my head no matter what I do. Lame!

I ended the past relationship, it didn't work and was strained for a reason, I strayed for a reason. Yet why do I miss him so much sometimes I can cry and when he texts me my heart plunders? Ugh! Dumb feelings.

I like to look to the past for a lot of things. Hard to tell if I really just miss him for him, or I miss it because I know it lasted 4 years and I keep thinking back because we obviously did something right to make it last that long. I still loved him when I broke it off but I strayed for a reason and broke it off BECAUSE I strayed. I didn't think I deserved him. It would kill him if he ever knew too.

Posted by tiziani
To be honest what he said sounds very superficial.

The "pretty" stuff, yeah that crap doesn't mean too much, but:

Posted by Agentgem24
when he's with me, or if he is running to the store to get something he may call her on the way etc or get caught up....she "gets him" they "have so much in common" he "loves talking to her" "cares about her"

click to expand

Isn't superficial stuff at all. Not for a Scorp anyway.

So what you are saying is despite what he says, you think he may really be into her? I've seen their texts; he's sent her pics of us and he tells her about me all the time.

He does the same thing for me too. He is calling me at random times, saying he's thinking about me, he made a really romantic toast with me the other night. He says he doesn't have romantic thoughts with her.

His guy friends also always call him. They call when we are together and he will talk briefly or he will get/make a call on the way to a store (maybe it's her, but maybe it's his mom or 2 of his closest guy friends) that's just how he is I guess.

He stayed until 4 on last night and told me he had a lot to do that night and we agreed to work out together tonight (which we will). But after he got done with stuff with his sister last night he randomly called me and asked if I wanted to go see a movie at the theater by my house but my back was in too much pain and I said I didn't feel up to it and we had plans today anyways.

Posted by Agentgem24
No, I want to hear your comment 🙂

-sigh- it's amazing how I could go from a great mood to an instant crappy one in the blink of an eye. I wish my emotions werent so up and down. The more I dwell on it the more I want to escape it completely. But what good will that do? "Oops, I don't like these intense feelings and things aren't going EXACTLY as I like them too, time to bail!"

And I also wonder why I can't seem to get my ex out of my head no matter what I do. Lame!

Lord have mercy. Eat some chocolate while you read this stuff then (dopamine booster).

Anyway, I feel that if you are both trying to establish something solid then all of this "she gets me"..."I love talking to her" needs to eventually shift. You're not there yet, and you can't force it, but your Scorp and his friend should be allowing that to gradually take place. From what you have written, it doesn't sound like that is happening. Especially if you two are talking about kids (from your other thread). Talk about being all over the d*mn place.

I agree with Tiz, you should not change who you are just because you're in a relationship--however the position you are slowly establishing does require some movement in the way things are now. That's where boundaries come in.

This was actually a complaint my ex had...I would go on forums like this and would get opinions and suspicions I would hear and instead of trusting him, I would project all these insecurities onto him and say, "Well so and so said this because you did/said this, so it must be true." It totally wasn't fair.

There were difficulties...I did what I did for a reason. But then aren't you supposed to be thinking of the bad times you had with an ex vs all the good times and have nostalgic, or be close to tears, wonder what it would be like if you were together now/made the right choice? Is that normal? I'm not really sure...

The more I think about it the more I wonder if I really am not over him...If I still love him and I am trying to fill a void by getting involved in these other relationships and getting so head over heels so fast and getting so frustrated/jealous with them/cold when things aren't going right when really, it's because they aren't him and I want to be with him again but currently I can't so I am trying to fill the void?

Sounds crazy and I could be talking out of my ass...who knows. Just a thought; the past 16 months we have been apart (I last saw him beginning of this year and we were intimate and the whole time up until a few weeks ago (before I got with scorp) we had been talking about what it would be like, if we could get back together etc. He is not wanting a relationship right now though; he still cares for me but he is using this time to focus on his new job/get closer to God and he doesn't want me waiting around for him.

Weather I'm single, with someone etc, a lot of my thoughts go to him. It's so stupid.

I also find myself talking about my ex A LOT to scorp...I use it to say things that annoyed me and as a base of things I liked, and because we had a lot of history I guess. I like to let him know what I like, and dislike in a relationship and the best material I have is from that 4 year one (I also talk about other exes for basis) but I guess the most comes from the longest, which would make sense. He does it sometimes too and I've never had an issue with it. I use it as a learning checklist "What not to do, what to do etc" But I talk about my ex almost instinctively sometimes and sometimes it hurts yet I continue anyways it's weird.

Posted by Agentgem24
I ended the past relationship, it didn't work and was strained for a reason, I strayed for a reason. Yet why do I miss him so much sometimes I can cry and when he texts me my heart plunders? Ugh! Dumb feelings.

I like to look to the past for a lot of things. Hard to tell if I really just miss him for him, or I miss it because I know it lasted 4 years and I keep thinking back because we obviously did something right to make it last that long. I still loved him when I broke it off but I strayed for a reason and broke it off BECAUSE I strayed. I didn't think I deserved him. It would kill him if he ever knew too.

I see. I think we're done here.

Why is that? I just don't understand my feelings. I obviously think about Scorp all the time and have strong feelings for him.

It is possible that it is my libra moon playing devils advocate. I've been extra nostalgic about everyone in the past. Ex, shorter exes, my dad, brother, mom...so many emotions I'm not really sure what to do with ~.~

I tell my friends I think I may still be into the ex and they assure me I'm not, and am crazy.

I think I'm just honestly going through a lot of mixed emotions. I go back and fourth. There are sometimes I completly forget about my ex, and others I think about him (usually when things aren't 100% in a new relationship) I've been having a lot of money stress lately; paycheck to paycheck isn't easy. I'm about to start school soon and I'm taking some REALLY hard classes and I'm having to put civil service and police stuff off until the end of this year.

I stress about this girl...But then I just got off the phone with him and we talked for around 20 minutes and the more I talk to him, the more I get the vibe how into me he is.
My room mate (A Taurus) is JUST like me in relationships. He and I (I guess I feel the same way as my bf does and this girl, the difference is I am just not going to blurt it. He can be too honest and just say what he feels, must be the Sagg mercury or Leo moon) But my room mate is my platonic male guy friend, one of my best. He's single. He and I get along REALLY well, I like talking to him, I like spending time with him, he gets me (pretty much what my bf said about his) he helps me with ALL of my guy issues. The only difference is, I'm not physically/sexually attracted to him. He would be the perfect bf for me honestly if it wasn't for that! But I think the best successful platonic relationships come from having some kind of trait that you can tolerate in a friendship but wouldn't work in a romantic relationship.

I was telling him my feelings, ALL of my feelings about everything and slightly getting watery eyed. He says because he is the same way I am he would get just a LITTLE worried but at the same time...he says I should wait to throw any barriers or make any rash judgements until I actually meet her. See how they interact together, see if I detect anything romantic or if it's strictly platonic and he is still just as romantic with me in front of her as he is normally.
I also am torn because my mom just moved to Florida and she and I are super close and same with my brother who is getting ready to go off to college and I won't see him on a regular basis. It's really hard for me, and I was planning on seeing them Thanksgiving but now that's not going to happen...and prob won't until spring break. My mom is a Cancer with Libra moon(like mine) she and she is like my other half.It's just A LOT of emotions so I think they are all getting messed up.It's just a cluster fuck right now. Suggestions?

All of my friends and acquaintances are girls. So it always takes some adjusting to for a long-term partner, especially since none of them are "platonic", but there are rather many different energies floating around.

I have two platonic friends of the opposite sex, but it's because we knew eachother long before sex came into the equation, we grew up together and our parents were close friends, so we established a sibling-relationship very early on.

But as for gaining platonic friends among the opposite sex later in life... nahh I don't believe in it! Not from a guy's point because I could easily f*ck any of my girl-friends if they wanted me to. But of course that would make things more complicated for them, I suppose.

I see, we have the same views then.

He said "we established 3 months in really good friends is all we will ever be and we've never so much as given as hug and don't talk flirty etc. he says she's the kind of girl that would totally sleep with a guy right away so if he wanted to and if something were to happen, it would have already happened and even in her party days and drunk she never tried anything"

I do know he got pretty butt hurt/jealous when there was a guy I knew (well we had been friends a few years then hooked up a bit then stopped, I never had feelings for him. For some reason I had told him he was there and we had been intimate before and he already didn't like him from me saying what an ass he was after etc. so he said it would be messed up for me to hang out with him and I agree (haven't even seen him since jan and when we did, it was platonic) and I don't talk to him now.

He says he and his friends won't go to a movie or anything alone and barely hang out alone outside a group. Occasional maybe 1-2x a month of Boston's or coffee etc. she still really wants to meet me and is confused why I'm even close to jealous.

Are you poly enfant? I could never be, but I have quite a few friends in open relationships/marriages and have been openly hit on by both sexes etc

I think if you're questioning at all than probably something is going on.

I never trusted it w my scorpios. It felt like emotional cheating.

I know exactly what your talking about so I walked away.


If I was with someone who i felt had good boundaries than it wouldn't of bothered me. My ex aquarius had some female friends but he wasn't weird about it. He didn't talk to them all the time and only hung out when they were in groups.


Me, personally I don't think my partner should be having intense emotional relationships with other woman when we are together.


People forget cheating isn't just physical. And watch out for men that really like to pretend it is ONLY PSYCHICAL. < it'll tell you everything you need to know.

Please go on. I honestly don't think I have anything to worry about...when you say "question" this is me with anything and everything. I have irrational jealousy issues and this is something I need to fix within myself.

I have 2 intense emotional bond/friendships myself with 2 male friends. One is a Gemini like me but he is also getting married to my other good Pisces female friend. We talk daily, all the time...I tell him EVERYTHING. Yes, he and my other close guy friend DO know my physical life and EVERY little problem and issue I am having good/bad. But my scorp won't talk to his female friend about things like that.

It sounds like his role is similar to my other best platonic male friend, a Taurus. He's my room mate, we actually LIVE together. Nothing is going on of course, he is like a brother to me and I would get defensive if anyone suggested us doing something and think it like my partner didn't trust me...but it's hard to understand on the other end of the spectrum you know? It sounds like their friendship is just like me and the Taurus and I live with him! If he was living with this female friend I would FLIP. Pretty hypocritical right? I can't help it =/

He really likes me room mate too, they get along.

I did however set some boundries. He didn't get upset about it or anything; he was very open and honest. He even showed me their past conversations/texts which was pretty much my scorp coaching her through her break up etc. It was normal stuff, nothing slightly suggestive. Yet if he read some of MY messages to my guy friends (as innocent as it would be) he COULD get the wrong idea because I am just a very open person!

He has agreed to limit the calling some and he doesn't really see her one on one more than once a month maybe. We limited it to a Chilies/coffee/lunch setting etc. Boston's for drinks etc, and not before I can meet her FIRST. He had offered before but I was being stubborn. He says he never goes to movies with her really anyways but it was just an idea he casually through out that I shut down. As well as anything else really one on one besides those settings. Plus, meeting her will be the FINAL test. I feel better about it already, but when I see them together and they are all buddy buddy and nothing romantic and he is being just as affectionate as he is normally with me than all should be good.

I mean...Even OTHER people get the wrong idea about me and my best gemini friend who is getting married. Always tagg

Cut off part: (sorry, it's a lot...but it felt good putting this down!)
"
Always tagging eachother on comics in pics, there were a few pictures where because of our height difference there were some slightly suggestive poses with his arm around me etc. His soon to be wife's friend (a guy) even said something about it. She shockingly is really cool about a lot of things despite the fact that he HAS cheated in the past (over 4 years ago though and he never would again) but she brushed it off because she is super close friends with me too. We generally hang out in groups (me, him, her, maybe some other close friends of ours) but occasionally I may get a cup of coffee with him or we have our "shadow society" events where it's a group setting and he and I usually just hang out and chat. She and I do some things on our own too, like I will be this weekend while he is camping.


I suppose....I don't have a right to be jealous? I mean look at my Taurus platonic friend of 3 years. Like a brother to me, life coach. He looks out to me. He finds me an attractive woman (and he's told me that) he really cares for me but he isn't attracted TO me and it's been pretty much friend zoned since day 1 because I'm not attracted and think of him too much like a brother (my scorp says he thinks of this friend as a sister and with all the crap that has happened to her and the bad guys she's attracted, he really wants her to find a GOOD one. He even offered to my room mate)

But despite all that, I'm still super close with my room mate. I live with him, we carpool 4 days a week together, we run errands together. I spend more time with him than I do my bf and he rarely sees this girl. ~sigh~ going over this I really do see how irrational it sounds but I just can't help my emotions right now!

I'm going through a weird transit; My Uranus being square my Saturn is a tricky one but the main one that is throwing everything off is that currently my Uranus is opposite my moon)

Do these transits really make that much of a difference on us emotionally? I feel it does sometimes.

I see. Well okay as long as you feel ok about it than its okay.


For me, It wasn't and I pretended to be. ( for a really long time i thought it was the right thing to do, SO WRONG ) I thought I was too jealous to but than I

realized he couldn't give me what I needed. I needed someone who could.


You can't change people. They can be whoever they want. I thought we could compromise, sort of like what you were doing but the same stuff kept happening. I just had to walk away

cause neither of them were in my mind were only emotional exclusive with me. That is what I wanted.


Your needs have to be met too and they deserve to be. It took me a long LONG time to realize that. I sort of just hid in the shadows and let it happen to me.


My first scorpio lived with this cancer woman and they txt all the time all he did was talk about how cool she was ( she was dating his friend ) she'd live

sticky notes with hearts on them all over his house. Than he had his scorpio female best friend who once on the phone was like " you don't love her more than me do you? " Than he had this cap girl he lived with as well who he said it was " hard not to flirt with her "


I mean who wants to deal with that shit? I felt like I was constantly in competition and it was bullshit. When I finally brought it up with him and he cried and

said he would never talk to any of them or stop how he was blah blah blah.


But that wasn't the point. The point was that is who he is. And still is to this day. He shouldn't have to change to be with me and I shouldn't have to change to be with him.

Compromise won't change the core of the person. You know? You click or you don't and you met each other needs or you don't. It's that simple in a sense.


And scorpio # 2 wasn't much different.


So I mean, I don't know your scorpio or situation, but if something doesn't feel right to you don't feel like your crazy and you should have to live with

feeling that way. You deserve to have your boundaries and standards and have them be met. Don't let anyone tell you different. Cause remember the other

person in the relationship is going to be thinking the same way.


But I hope it works out for you gem haha

And I'm sorry I can't really relate to you on having close hetero male friends! I only have one ( aries ) he is gay lol

I had one close hetero friend and he was a cancer. It was cool for a while but than he wanted to date me and it was gross! I like to spend my time with

women *shrugs*

Oh I see! No, I couldn't imagine having him act like that with his female friend.

The contact was all I was worried about.

He told me himself though; if something were to happen, it already would have. They decided right away they would be really good friends and that's it. He says he thinks she is a pretty girl, but he is not attracted TO her (like my best friend) and he has a love for her like he has his sister or his guy friends and how I have my guy friends (caring as a friend) but not an IN love. He says she is a really slutty girl (or used to be) and if he had wanted to sleep with her they would have a long time ago. She's calmed down a lot but even in her heavy party days she never came onto him. He is REALLY turned off by slutty girls...he enjoys her company and having a female perspective on things/talking to her, but he told her that she didn't have the qualities he wanted in a romantic partner.

I think the most successful platonic friendships happen when there are aspects of that person that would be tolerated for a friend, but you wouldn't be able to put up with in a romantic relationship.

He said he was telling her that I was worried and jealous and she couldn't believe I would be worried about her of all people, she says she wants to meet me and show her that I have nothing to worry about. I saw his texts to her (pictures of us, things saying "date night!" he tells her about me ALL The time) she thinks I'm really pretty and we look good together. I tell my guy friends about my bf ALL the time too, they offer valuable advice too.

He went to a hotel party with friends this weekend when I had already made plans and he behaved and got home at a decent hour. Apparently when he got there, his female friend (who was there but it was her friend's party etc and that was the first time they had seen each other since we've been together) had told the other girls that he had a gf etc.

He's going to Houston this weekend for his best friend's surprise birthday party and I made plans too. He says he promises to behave and I have nothing to worry about. He says the female friend may be in town for a separate occasion with her friend and he's not going to go to coffee etc with her or anything but when they are out with HIS friends he asked if it would be ok if she met them at the place they were at etc (not house, but public venue)

He doesn't ever say things like "well I'm not changing this, or giving up my friends etc" He actually said "I don't have to give her up do I? She really is one of my best friends and JUST a friend" I would feel bad for telling him to do that (could never make that request) and if asked I would leave in a heart beat if someone asked me to drop MY male friends.

I think the guys (or scorps) either way, they sounded shady!

His issue is not always thinking things through and blurting something out that I may be sensitive about or over analyze. And I do both a lot!

Well thats good if you trust her and him, than I guess you have nothing to worry about!

Who are you dating now sagg?

My Leo ex never had female friends in the beginning of our relationship but he did make "school friends" but it was just to study etc, I know he was loyal even though he was at school 6 hours away.

I was horribly jealous in the beginning though.

Him: "going to a get together with friends"
Me: "will there be girls there?!"
Him: "well...yeah? Prob. It's a group thing, I don't know everyone there"
Me: "don't let them flirt with you...tell them you are taken!"

Right, like the second a girl approaches you go "I HAVE A GF!" Oh to be 19 and crazy lol.

If I'm at an event and a guy is talking to me I'm polite and nice, I have a flirty personality naturally so I can't always help it. It's also a boost to know someone else finds you attractive. BUT I would never get suggestive or lead them on and if it came up, of course I Would say I'm taken. No exchanging of numbers.

I'm glad we agree on most things, Scorp and I. He may talk to her but he rarely sees her especially one on one. I am with my male room mate constantly.

I'm trying to work on it.

He is patient with me but I know it bothers him how insecure and sensitive I am. It hurts him that I am so distrusting when he has given absolutely no reason to be.

I told him I AM working on it and it's an issue within myself, not him. Damn you hard saturn aspect in my chart and current uranus opposition moon transit!!

If I gave him an ultimatum I feel he WOULD chose me. But you don't do that to ppl you care about. I would tell him to beat it if he tried to make me choose between him and my 2 guy friends; no hesitation.

I was the ultimatum queen in the beginning of my old relationship, not sure how he put up with me that long. I also know I will never take depo-provera again!!

Posted by tiziani
A lot of things have changed with you Sag eh? Good to see.

awe you think? thanks t 🙂

Gem, you don't sound insecure to me. You sound trust worthy and honest. If something is bothering you just explore it! And you have seem to be, so good for you!

You sound really genuine when you talking about your feelings so I think you'll be just fine.


I'm not dating anyone. If I get horny I have people I can call, but mostly I've been a loner haha


I think it's good though, just trying to work on myself figure shit out but being open if something comes my way I'd ilk to maybe pursue.


The last date I went on was this 31 year old! ( not that, that is old ) but I have never dated anyone who was more than a year older than me. He was a nice

person and a surfer! But like I said I just haven't been wanting to date.


I haven't even been feeling that sexual either, it's a weird phase lol

Maybe it's my Scorpio or that my mars is sextile to my Pluto but I have an enormous drive. I'm selective but I'm a very sexual person! It's just hard when I'm single because I don't like hook ups and if I agree to a fwb to fulfill my desires, I end up getting emotionally attached :/ sex is special to me!

And thank you, that was sweet of you to say!

How old are you? 31 isn't old! I'm 24 and most of my friends are 30-40s. The last guy I dated semi serious before scorp was a 43 year old Virgo. I've never gone that old and never will again but his energy was greater than mine, we had a great emotional connection, and the sex was some of the best ever! I ended it because his communication (just how he was) wasn't at my level of need. And like you said yourself, don't settle! My age limit now is 35 lol

Posted by Agentgem24
Maybe it's my Scorpio or that my mars is sextile to my Pluto but I have an enormous drive. I'm selective but I'm a very sexual person! It's just hard when I'm single because I don't like hook ups and if I agree to a fwb to fulfill my desires, I end up getting emotionally attached :/ sex is special to me!

And thank you, that was sweet of you to say!

How old are you? 31 isn't old! I'm 24 and most of my friends are 30-40s. The last guy I dated semi serious before scorp was a 43 year old Virgo. I've never gone that old and never will again but his energy was greater than mine, we had a great emotional connection, and the sex was some of the best ever! I ended it because his communication (just how he was) wasn't at my level of need. And like you said yourself, don't settle! My age limit now is 35 lol

Haha wow! I'm just 23, what was the 43yrd like? Yea I have this thing about older men. I was always afraid of them when i was little. So like even like 6 years just freaks me out! Even though that isn't that old! I don't know, its so weird lol

The 43 year old was great! He had if course experienced much more than I, but that became an ongoing joke.

He had his own company with his brother but also was a musician. Sometimes he didn't even go on stage til midnight, he didn't have a typical 40 year olds schedule. We met through mutual friends because most are older. We had the same taste in music. I'm an old soul; I'm more into classic rock, culture, literature, a foody etc. I'm not into a lot of pop/rap(minus old school) and not into partying/clubs.

We had a powerful connection and never butt heads. But part of his issue was he didn't talk to ppl daily and couldn't make that promise to me. It's just how he was, he needed lots of space. It was just too much for me to deal with it because I am SO communication hungry. But we still remain good friends and want the best for eachother.

Also; this man holds the record for being intimate the most in one day and no blue pill was needed. He had a much stronger drive than many men my age!

Posted by Agentgem24
Are you poly enfant? I could never be, but I have quite a few friends in open relationships/marriages and have been openly hit on by both sexes etc

Hi, again. 🙂

No I'm not poly, but I'm not cut out for monogamy either. I could never be in an open relationship, I'm too jealous and possessive. What my Venus in Cancer wants, and what my Leo mars needs, are two opposite things. So where does it leave me? :-/

To compromise is to live in denial.

Eh my ex was a Leo with Virgo venus and Leo mars and he was super loyal. No female friends, didn't think of another girl. I was the one that got bored and needed more sex/passion/activities. I'm cancer venus/mars and my Scorp with Capricorn venus and Scorpio mars says my drive very much rivals his.