Gemini Man, too scared of commitment?
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by CuriousGemini on Thursday, May 19, 2016 and has 7 replies.
So I have known my gemini man for about a year now. Last year we ended up in a 'I'm really into you and only you so were official but not official' situation. We were basically boyfriend and girlfriend but without the title. We went on many dates, particularly adventure dates (were both gemini's so kids at heart) and we were inseparable for months but we never had sex so I knew he really just wanted me. Anywho he was meant to move to America to start studying abroad and so promptly ended what seemed like the perfect fairytale. Why? because I couldn't cope with the idea that someone I cared so much for was just going to disappear for years. So I ended it to 'save' myself.
He took it well i guess but he kept contacting me nonetheless. Calls and texts, it felt like nothing changed. He insisted that we should stay friends which was great. Then he had a leavers party for himself in which we both got a bit tipsy (i think we were both sober) and ended up kissing, with him saying 'I have really missed you'.
Now cut to July (the month he was meant to travel) my gemini man calls me to say he isn't going to study abroad anymore! My mind at this point became frazzled 'what happens now?' 'do we go back to normal?' 'do we resume our together but no title situation?' 'do we just stay friends?'
I called him up to meet because I felt like a talk was needed and he agreed to come. Over some coffee I explained that I did really like him and that the kiss made me sure that my feelings haven't left, I mean why should they? we never parted on negative terms. So I asked since he won't be leaving what does he want, for us to forget about it and just stay friends? or we actually pursue something? He said I like the way we are now lets just stay friends.
September- I start university and so does he, I am in Essex and he is in Birmingham. Long forgotten about I start to move on with my life. Then boom Gemini man pops up! He asks how I am etc
October- Same thing as above...another message asking how I am...
November- I guess you can probably guess what he did...another message asking about my life
December- I say it would be nice to see him in the holidays to which he says 'Thats great to hear because I would love to see you'. Hmmm... We meet for some spaghetti and he asks about my life. Again. 'Have you got a boyfriend?' 'A love interest?' etc
January- My girlfriend decides to text him asking why he hasn't made our situation official yet. Its very clear that he likes me, checking up on me all the time even though were Universities apart to which he says that he 'never knew that that opportunity was still there for him' he never knew there was a possibility i would give it another chance.
A week later he proceeds to message me 'Hey babe' 'you look so beautiful' etc I am overwhelmed at this point as we haven't talked like that since last year. I ask him what is going on and he says 'I said lets be friends so we can start again, not to pick up from where we lef
He took it well i guess but he kept contacting me nonetheless. Calls and texts, it felt like nothing changed. He insisted that we should stay friends which was great. Then he had a leavers party for himself in which we both got a bit tipsy (i think we were both sober) and ended up kissing, with him saying 'I have really missed you'.
Now cut to July (the month he was meant to travel) my gemini man calls me to say he isn't going to study abroad anymore! My mind at this point became frazzled 'what happens now?' 'do we go back to normal?' 'do we resume our together but no title situation?' 'do we just stay friends?'
I called him up to meet because I felt like a talk was needed and he agreed to come. Over some coffee I explained that I did really like him and that the kiss made me sure that my feelings haven't left, I mean why should they? we never parted on negative terms. So I asked since he won't be leaving what does he want, for us to forget about it and just stay friends? or we actually pursue something? He said I like the way we are now lets just stay friends.
September- I start university and so does he, I am in Essex and he is in Birmingham. Long forgotten about I start to move on with my life. Then boom Gemini man pops up! He asks how I am etc
October- Same thing as above...another message asking how I am...
November- I guess you can probably guess what he did...another message asking about my life
December- I say it would be nice to see him in the holidays to which he says 'Thats great to hear because I would love to see you'. Hmmm... We meet for some spaghetti and he asks about my life. Again. 'Have you got a boyfriend?' 'A love interest?' etc
January- My girlfriend decides to text him asking why he hasn't made our situation official yet. Its very clear that he likes me, checking up on me all the time even though were Universities apart to which he says that he 'never knew that that opportunity was still there for him' he never knew there was a possibility i would give it another chance.
A week later he proceeds to message me 'Hey babe' 'you look so beautiful' etc I am overwhelmed at this point as we haven't talked like that since last year. I ask him what is going on and he says 'I said lets be friends so we can start again, not to pick up from where we lef
not to pick up from where we left it, my life is never at a standstill. Ive never doubted a thing, Ive just always thought ahead and considered what I bring to the table" At this point I was confused. Was he saying that he hoped by us being friends we would naturally rekindle what we had?
He carried on saying 'I wanted to start afresh like we were in the beginning. Everytime I see you I feel some type of way, but theres much more to it the just testing the waters and seeing where it takes us. I have so many moving parts that long term doesn't fit in my plan hence the uncertainty. Being friends felt like the best option because I don't feel under pressure from myself to make you happy. You're mine once I get my life together, don't care about your situation. But as much as I may like you right now I know I wouldn't last"
I simply replied that I understand and respect that he has opened up to me and that I would love to be his, thats all Ive ever wanted but friends is fine with me. He then proceeded to say that I will be having his kids at 24 and he didn't know if he was joking or not.
After this overwhelming conversation it was as if things went normal again. Talking everyday, calling each other cute pet names. But I am a girl and as great as this set up may have been for him I felt like I was feeling deeper and deeper for him. It was scaring me. So I ended it, or whatever the situation was, I sent him a message saying that I do not think we should talk anymore, it was too much having him but not realllyyyy having him. He replied 'I don't know where this has come from or why you think this but if thats what you want then fine. Although if I want a conversation with you then i'll have it"
We didn't talk for a while after that and it was eating me up, I felt like I had to explain to him why I felt that we shouldn't talk. I messaged him and told him that I felt like the situation was making me go crazy, i respected he didn't feel like he was in the right place for a relationship but to keep me waiting and telling me sweet things was not helping. He agreed and apologised and said he didnt know how he could help, so I said 'Lets just be friends?' and he said 'As much as I do not want to i think that is best'.
I then promptly started dating other people. I still had deep feelings for the gemini man but I decided to follow his instruction and do as I wanted without a care in the world. He watched my snapchat videos when I went on dates and would message me things like 'lucky guy' etc
At one point he sent me a long paragraph saying that he didn't feel like he's told me how he feels, he proceeded to tell me "I miss us and think about getting it back everyday, you make me so happy. But you are in such a need for that next step (i think he means i really want a title) that he won't be up to scratch" he thinks that 'it won't be 'I treetrunks with you and only you' that I want the whole show that comes with it and that overwhelms him'
He then told me
He carried on saying 'I wanted to start afresh like we were in the beginning. Everytime I see you I feel some type of way, but theres much more to it the just testing the waters and seeing where it takes us. I have so many moving parts that long term doesn't fit in my plan hence the uncertainty. Being friends felt like the best option because I don't feel under pressure from myself to make you happy. You're mine once I get my life together, don't care about your situation. But as much as I may like you right now I know I wouldn't last"
I simply replied that I understand and respect that he has opened up to me and that I would love to be his, thats all Ive ever wanted but friends is fine with me. He then proceeded to say that I will be having his kids at 24 and he didn't know if he was joking or not.
After this overwhelming conversation it was as if things went normal again. Talking everyday, calling each other cute pet names. But I am a girl and as great as this set up may have been for him I felt like I was feeling deeper and deeper for him. It was scaring me. So I ended it, or whatever the situation was, I sent him a message saying that I do not think we should talk anymore, it was too much having him but not realllyyyy having him. He replied 'I don't know where this has come from or why you think this but if thats what you want then fine. Although if I want a conversation with you then i'll have it"
We didn't talk for a while after that and it was eating me up, I felt like I had to explain to him why I felt that we shouldn't talk. I messaged him and told him that I felt like the situation was making me go crazy, i respected he didn't feel like he was in the right place for a relationship but to keep me waiting and telling me sweet things was not helping. He agreed and apologised and said he didnt know how he could help, so I said 'Lets just be friends?' and he said 'As much as I do not want to i think that is best'.
I then promptly started dating other people. I still had deep feelings for the gemini man but I decided to follow his instruction and do as I wanted without a care in the world. He watched my snapchat videos when I went on dates and would message me things like 'lucky guy' etc
At one point he sent me a long paragraph saying that he didn't feel like he's told me how he feels, he proceeded to tell me "I miss us and think about getting it back everyday, you make me so happy. But you are in such a need for that next step (i think he means i really want a title) that he won't be up to scratch" he thinks that 'it won't be 'I treetrunks with you and only you' that I want the whole show that comes with it and that overwhelms him'
He then told me
He then told me not to reply to this message so I didn't.
I then took a picture of a dress I planned to wear on a date and guess who popped up again? Gemini man. He messaged me saying 'lucky guy' and then said he needs to call me. We agreed a time and he called me saying he knows he said i should look at other options but he now takes it back. He said he doesn't understand why he says things like lets just be friends etc but that apparently he doesn't mean it. He essentially told me to stop dating and come back to him!
He asked me out to go bowling and restaurant in the next two days, I agreed I would go and I did. We had a great time and he paid for everything, no kiss at the end however which I guessed was because he was being off because I asked 'How would you feel if I kept on dating other people' to which he said "well I guess I can't stop you, up to you" arghhhhhh!
So now we are currently acting like lovebirds again BUT with no title!!?? Why? Why is he keeping me there? Pulling me in so close but then too scared to just seal the deal? I like him and I think he likes me, I mean after all this effort he has put in I would like to think he does like me. But is he playing a game? Is he hopeful someone better is coming? Or is this just how gemini guys are? Do i just have to be patient?
We have never had an argument, he hasn't hurt me or cheated (to my knowledge) everything is perfect. Am I asking for too much for him to just say "can you be my girlfriend?". I just want that stability you know arghh, because in my head this set up between us means he can still talk to other girls (I don't think he is but he has been liking a certain girls picture on instagram...) but he gets aggy over the idea of me dating other guys?
Can anybody help? I just want to know what I'm dealing with here, should i wait or?
Our birthdays are on the same date btw, 29th May! (crazy right)
I then took a picture of a dress I planned to wear on a date and guess who popped up again? Gemini man. He messaged me saying 'lucky guy' and then said he needs to call me. We agreed a time and he called me saying he knows he said i should look at other options but he now takes it back. He said he doesn't understand why he says things like lets just be friends etc but that apparently he doesn't mean it. He essentially told me to stop dating and come back to him!
He asked me out to go bowling and restaurant in the next two days, I agreed I would go and I did. We had a great time and he paid for everything, no kiss at the end however which I guessed was because he was being off because I asked 'How would you feel if I kept on dating other people' to which he said "well I guess I can't stop you, up to you" arghhhhhh!
So now we are currently acting like lovebirds again BUT with no title!!?? Why? Why is he keeping me there? Pulling me in so close but then too scared to just seal the deal? I like him and I think he likes me, I mean after all this effort he has put in I would like to think he does like me. But is he playing a game? Is he hopeful someone better is coming? Or is this just how gemini guys are? Do i just have to be patient?
We have never had an argument, he hasn't hurt me or cheated (to my knowledge) everything is perfect. Am I asking for too much for him to just say "can you be my girlfriend?". I just want that stability you know arghh, because in my head this set up between us means he can still talk to other girls (I don't think he is but he has been liking a certain girls picture on instagram...) but he gets aggy over the idea of me dating other guys?
Can anybody help? I just want to know what I'm dealing with here, should i wait or?
Our birthdays are on the same date btw, 29th May! (crazy right)
Posted by blessyou
Fuck him! Writing a whole novela off one Gemini guy? It's not worth it. Go hit the bar or something and dance those demons off you or something.. if it was a sag or a virgo i can understand but a Gemini? Nah daddy
You saying I shouldn't take it serious?
Ahhhh Gemini men, my kryptonite 😎
Libra woman, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising. He is not afraid of commitment he doesn't want you. Period! You can lie to yourself if you want, but trust me when a Gemini likes enough to commit they do, fast! They only time Gemini acts like what you have described is that "he's just not that into you." Now, you can twist it, turn it, lie to yourself, say a bunch of butts, maybes," and I understand, you can't accept the truth. But the truth is staring you right in the face.
You are definitely in denial; you have to be to tolerate being with someone for a year, wanting a commitment and not getting one. You have to tell yourself a whole bunch of lies to stay. But when one day you will get tired of lying to yourself and accept the truth. When you do, you will bounce.
You are definitely in denial; you have to be to tolerate being with someone for a year, wanting a commitment and not getting one. You have to tell yourself a whole bunch of lies to stay. But when one day you will get tired of lying to yourself and accept the truth. When you do, you will bounce.
I am more than certain you will come back with butts... but the fact remains that whatever your buts are... trust me, when a Gemini man wants you, he doesn't disappear, he knows very quickly, he commits, gives a ring and becomes attached at the hip. That's how he treats his queen; everybody else falls into harem category. That's it.
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