Having problems with Cancer female!

Posted by truecap
Just ask her if she's okay, or if anything is going on in her life or how is everything. See what she says, she may be waiting on you to ask.
OR
Just bring up a conversation with a situation that leads to the topic. Talk to her but don't say it has to do anything to do with her. Maybe mention a situation that is very similar to what is going on or other friends or family that's going through a similar situation so the topic can be discussed without actually placing the two of you in it. Like "my cousin and her friend....this happened...what do you think happened? or I think they should do this...."
That way it's not personal. Then it does give the opportunity for her to bring it up or you to bring it up as it flows naturally into the conversation.
I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense.
Cancers are very sensitive and possessive and it's hard to address things with them where they don't go into their shell and avoid or shut down. If they feel accepted regardless of what they're saying or feeling, they are more likely to stay open. So be kind, sensitive, compassionate and accepting.

Posted by djbuck1
It sounds like she is playing you like a fine violin.
"Just watch the look on her face when I show her these pics!"
Like the level-headed Earth signs you are, you and Truecap are having a reasonable discussion about unreasonable behavior.
As a Water sign (though a male and not a Cancer), I offer this: We Water signs will "richard you around" mercilessly with our BS if you let us, sometimes for no other reason than just because we can. You need to call us on our bullshit. I'm not saying you have to blast her, but at some point you have to say, "Okay Sweetie. Enough of your bullshit." She may fuss and withdraw for a while, but if you don't do this, the (bad) behavior will go on, just as sure as God made little green apples-- and crabs, fishies and yes, scorpions.

Posted by djbuck1
By the way, my reference to Earth signs was to a Cappie talking with a Taurus.
Most of us know better than to try our schmick on a Virgo. They'll look at us "all innocence" while thinking, "Welllll. Going to play mind-games are we? We'll just see about THAT."
I'm looking over my shoulder just writing about it.

Posted by djbuck1

Posted by truecap
DJ has a good point. With my friend, I would just ask who her new friend is, how does she know her and tell her I'm glad they're hanging out and make a point to say something that it's always good to have lots of friends. I'd be happy for her. Let her know it doesn't bother me. No reaction. If she doesn't get the jealous reaction, she will stop.

This underscores my point. TC is taking the role as adult. Negative (childlike) behavior unreinforced is discouraging.
Li'l Miss Crabette seems to want to be at the center of your attention. You can undercut that, which is what TC does, or you can spank her and send her to her room (figuratively speaking) by showing her up.

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Posted by xxbrittxxtay

Posted by djbuck1
It sounds like she is playing you like a fine violin.
"Just watch the look on her face when I show her these pics!"
Like the level-headed Earth signs you are, you and Truecap are having a reasonable discussion about unreasonable behavior.
As a Water sign (though a male and not a Cancer), I offer this: We Water signs will "richard you around" mercilessly with our BS if you let us, sometimes for no other reason than just because we can. You need to call us on our bullshit. I'm not saying you have to blast her, but at some point you have to say, "Okay Sweetie. Enough of your bullshit." She may fuss and withdraw for a while, but if you don't do this, the (bad) behavior will go on, just as sure as God made little green apples-- and crabs, fishies and yes, scorpions.

I appreciate your straight forwardness. Thanks for giving me the confirmation that I am not crazy and I am beginning to see what she is doing. I have told her previously in other circumstances that I did not agree with what she was doing and told her how I felt and she immediately shut down and did not know what to do. I am not one to play games, but this is starting to get on my nerves because the phone thing and the incident at the club are not the only things she is doing.. Should I just ignore her and go along with it, or try to get revenge haha I know that sounds silly but talking to her about it like an adult is out of the question because she will freeze and immediately turn back into her shell like most Cancer women do when confronted when they know they are being immature or "wrong" in a sense.

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Posted by djbuck1
By the way, my reference to Earth signs was to a Cappie talking with a Taurus.
Most of us know better than to try our schmick on a Virgo. They'll look at us "all innocence" while thinking, "Welllll. Going to play mind-games are we? We'll just see about THAT."
I'm looking over my shoulder just writing about it.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth

Posted by djbuck1

Most of us know better than to try our schmick on a Virgo. They'll look at us "all innocence" while thinking, "Welllll. Going to play mind-games are we? We'll just see about THAT."
I'm looking over my shoulder just writing about it.

That is so true! Learned it the hard way

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Posted by Damnata

Posted by djbuck1
By the way, my reference to Earth signs was to a Cappie talking with a Taurus.
Most of us know better than to try our schmick on a Virgo. They'll look at us "all innocence" while thinking, "Welllll. Going to play mind-games are we? We'll just see about THAT."
I'm looking over my shoulder just writing about it.

That phone you're typing on looks really neat, hon

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Posted by Arielle83
Sounds like she would rather chill with the other friend than with you....maybe she's just gotten bored and wants a new circle.
I know hanging around the same people bores the heck out of me. I don't see the need to attach and call for "besties" it's a bit trivial when you have the freedom to hang with anyone else.
Have you been friends for years? Maybe that's why she isn't being clear.

Posted by krysrenee7
She's territorial. She wants you all to herself. It's ok for her to have a wide variety of friends, but when others can have great fun without her, or when fun is happening without it involving her being the center of attention, she can't handle it
So she believes her only strategy is to warrant attention. She's like a little kid who starts yelling & making noises, not b/c something is wrong, but b/c they can't stand not being the center of attention.
How do you deal with this? You deal with it in the way anybody would when they're around an attention-who***re. Don't play into their games. Don't pay them any attention. Kill them with kindness & don't give them the reaction they secretly want. Although your reaction to her antics may technically be negative, she's still getting a boost out of it b/c at least she got your attention & turned the focus back to her.
If they see that their tactics get to you & are working, it'll only give them more incentive to keep using the same strategy
I'm surprised that she didn't stop with the games when you called her out on it. Usually when you tell a person that you're on to them, they put their tail between their legs & stop (they can't believe that you were intelligent enough to have saw through the bullsh***t). But in this case, she shuts down but then starts right back up with the same games. Interesting.
I'd have a little more respect for her if she at least changed up the strategy a little bit lol! Unfortunately, people like her won't see that your negative reactions are code for STOP! Instead they'll just adapt another manipulative tactic altogether, hoping that you don't see through the "new tactic" like you did the old one.
But that's not the case with this chick. She's literally repeating the same old non-working strategy as before lolol This suggests to me that mindgames are her "thing" so much so that she can't even help it.