Help all Scorpios!
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by shortyrock on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 and has 14 replies.
Hi everyone! I need some advice on a Scorpio man. First let me say I was in a relationship with a Scorpio man for 8 years, so I feel I can generally understand them to a certain degree. They are complex creatures, I must say...always keep you guessing. Well, let me tell you my story. I have been seeing this Scorpio man for about 2 months. He is wonderful, true to his Scorpio nature. Let me say we have been friends for about 5 months because we hang in the same crowd. About 2 months ago, things just sparked between us, and there was undeniable attraction that neither of us could ignore. We started hanging out outside of our group of friends, and in the beginning it was wonderful. We both were on the same page...we told each other we liked each other. We have not been intimate, as I feel we need to establish something before that can happen..so we are taking things slow. My concern is this...in the beginning, he was the aggressive one, he called me all the time. Now lately it seems like I'm the one that's doing most of the calling and he doesn't call me as much although I know he is still interested. This kind of perturbs me because I don't know what's going on in his head. I've asked a few opinions and one friend told me that it's possible he's gone into a comfort zone, and maybe he doesn't feel the need to call me every day now. Someone else told me that it's possible he's feeling very deeply about me, and doesn't know how to handle it. I'm confused, I really like this Scorpio and I know he likes me because he's told me...I guess I just don't understand why the tables have turned? Maybe I'm making too much of this. I guess I just want this to really work between him & me. Is this a Scorpio "thing?" Any info/honesty/advice/suggestions are welcome! Thank you.
Thank you so much for your advice! What you said makes total sense. I think it is still soon; and we do need to learn how to trust each other and fully open up one to the other. On a side note, in the beginning when he was doing most of the calling, he did ask me a few times why I never called him...so I take that to mean that maybe he needed the reassurance from me that I'm interested.
Yes, I do think you're right! lol! Will keep ya posted. Thx!
scorpio's are funny and complex beings - i know for a fact the things about us that attract other people - but the minute people get close we shut down(i don't know why we just do and we hate it, but can't help it). and rarely do we like to come out of our comfort zone let alone stay out of it for long and it not feel safe or worth it.
in a small sense to me, virgo's and scorpio's are a like - we are just emotional and virgo's are logical and all that good virgo stuff about it. that's why we have to work hard at our realationships.
in a small sense to me, virgo's and scorpio's are a like - we are just emotional and virgo's are logical and all that good virgo stuff about it. that's why we have to work hard at our realationships.
I always go through periods of time (sometimes short, sometimes extended) when I just retreat from everyone. I feel like nobody is able to heal me like I can heal myself...I think it's a normal Scorpio thing, but I would still talk to him about it and see what he's willing to reveal and whether you can accept what he reveals.
It could be a test too.........My scorp didn't call me at all the first Year...yes, that's right....year.......he was hurt and had fear. I decided that I was going to love him.........to love him.....not what I got in return.......then one day.....actually a year to the date........he started calling all the time and hasn't stopped since........I think I proved to be solid to him......they need consistancy and stability.........plus he probably wanted to see how I would react...as he does what he wants ....when he wants. Also, all through the beginning, he would take 2 steps forward, 12 steps back...just withdraw for awhile after we would get real close and connect....but I was always patient...never called him out and he would come back around. I also don't ask him personal questions, but I don't hesitate to tell him how I feel. Surprisingly enough, he has told me more about him than anyone else he has ever been with. I think he appreciates the "no expectation" approach I have and in a sense is rewarding me for it. I have a question for someone though.....I know he loves me, but he won't say it. Instead, he says different things that can be portrayed as he loves me. Anyone have any experience with this?
Sounds like your scorp has been burned, majorly! Have you by chance told him you love him? That might be what he's holding out for.
The thing about it is, once we leap, well I guess the best way to describe it is that we're as intense as we are complex. And I only say we're complex because half the time, we don't even know what's all going on with us. One thing I can say though is we love like all hell, and when we decide that's it, it really is it.
In my experience however, those that I have made that leap for, couldn't handle the intensity, and ran like their a $ $ was on fire. Leaving me feeling stupid for not anticipating it, and regretting it. And then I tend toward a battle plan for the next time to make it harder for people to get close. Sounds like your scorp has done something similar to that. If you stay patient, and stay loving, he'll come around. But brace yourself when he does, that saying of careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it, comes to mind. Know that when he shows you ALL of his true colors there may be things there you weren't expecting, but if you show him loving acceptance, he won't let you down, ever...
Good luck!
Storm
The thing about it is, once we leap, well I guess the best way to describe it is that we're as intense as we are complex. And I only say we're complex because half the time, we don't even know what's all going on with us. One thing I can say though is we love like all hell, and when we decide that's it, it really is it.
In my experience however, those that I have made that leap for, couldn't handle the intensity, and ran like their a $ $ was on fire. Leaving me feeling stupid for not anticipating it, and regretting it. And then I tend toward a battle plan for the next time to make it harder for people to get close. Sounds like your scorp has done something similar to that. If you stay patient, and stay loving, he'll come around. But brace yourself when he does, that saying of careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it, comes to mind. Know that when he shows you ALL of his true colors there may be things there you weren't expecting, but if you show him loving acceptance, he won't let you down, ever...
Good luck!
Storm
I think hes either in the confort zone or seeing if you'll call him alot if he doesn't call you since he asked about it
Not really like start an arguement confrontation but yeah,you could probably casually ask if hes been busy lately since the consistancy changed and possibly see a change or at least get an answer about the "why" in it.
Not really like start an arguement confrontation but yeah,you could probably casually ask if hes been busy lately since the consistancy changed and possibly see a change or at least get an answer about the "why" in it.i have been having a very similar experience with "my" scorp (i think it might be over now though...) however I posted the scenario on the Scorpio boards under "Scorpio who won't consummate relationship". I think he has done some of the things that sagsmiles has said happened with her, but in my case i think it is really over. or is he just pushing me away as far as he can? one day he tells me he loves me and wants us to be married, the next day we have a serious emotional drama. I don't know what to think anymore, so I ended it. I will post some of the scenario below as I would be really keen to hear people's thoughts on this...
My other half and I agreed that I would visit him (and stay with him) to get to know each other again. Effectively, we want to make sure that all the feelings and representations made during telephone calls, e-mails etc weren't a figment of our imagination. Sometimes having a significant history can make you feel that something is there that really isn't.
Bearing in mind the Scorp need to control situations etc, he was not happy that I surprised him when I arrived in Fla. He knew I was coming but not when. He said (when I was in London) that he didn't mind being surprised, but, from his reaction (I arranged for his Mom to take him to a restaurant and I met him there) he was a little upset at being taken off guard. He later commented that he wanted to be the one to collect me from the airport. Then, after we had dinner, we went to his place which he was very apologetic about (it wasn't tidy etc/he is living bachelor life etc). I should also mention that we have not physically seen each other in approx 4 years.
Anyway, things gradually made a turn for the worse. He has insisted for the time I stayed with him (I arrived on Thurs 13 July) that we sleep in separate rooms. That hurt initially...there has been intimacy, but more on a romantic level (holding hands, laying on couch together etc). However, I don't know how to feel about the lack of more intimacy...In fairness, it has been a long time for both of us so I imagine it is nerves. Also, over the weekend, he has gradually revealed the answers to me...
1. He feels a little crowded with me being in his space
2. He feels we are trying to make up for years of dating in the normal way too quickly
3. He would like a chance to "romance me"
4. He has said he feels that sex would signify a total commitment and then I would truly have the ability to hurt him
I am now spending some time at my sisters house and will proceed in providing the space I think we need and he has confirmed he needs. Will this work? I don't know..should I feel bad that he has been reluctant to be intimate? Or should I recognise that he is honestly trying to protect his feelings and be 100% sure??
We were passionately in love years ago. It was intense. It damn near destroyed us.
*this was part of a private msg I sent to a friend on the Scorpio board. I am keen to hear what sagsmiles4u thinks about this scenario, as when she describes the 2 steps forward, 12 steps back, sounds too much like us!!
Bearing in mind the Scorp need to control situations etc, he was not happy that I surprised him when I arrived in Fla. He knew I was coming but not when. He said (when I was in London) that he didn't mind being surprised, but, from his reaction (I arranged for his Mom to take him to a restaurant and I met him there) he was a little upset at being taken off guard. He later commented that he wanted to be the one to collect me from the airport. Then, after we had dinner, we went to his place which he was very apologetic about (it wasn't tidy etc/he is living bachelor life etc). I should also mention that we have not physically seen each other in approx 4 years.
Anyway, things gradually made a turn for the worse. He has insisted for the time I stayed with him (I arrived on Thurs 13 July) that we sleep in separate rooms. That hurt initially...there has been intimacy, but more on a romantic level (holding hands, laying on couch together etc). However, I don't know how to feel about the lack of more intimacy...In fairness, it has been a long time for both of us so I imagine it is nerves. Also, over the weekend, he has gradually revealed the answers to me...
1. He feels a little crowded with me being in his space
2. He feels we are trying to make up for years of dating in the normal way too quickly
3. He would like a chance to "romance me"
4. He has said he feels that sex would signify a total commitment and then I would truly have the ability to hurt him
I am now spending some time at my sisters house and will proceed in providing the space I think we need and he has confirmed he needs. Will this work? I don't know..should I feel bad that he has been reluctant to be intimate? Or should I recognise that he is honestly trying to protect his feelings and be 100% sure??
We were passionately in love years ago. It was intense. It damn near destroyed us.
*this was part of a private msg I sent to a friend on the Scorpio board. I am keen to hear what sagsmiles4u thinks about this scenario, as when she describes the 2 steps forward, 12 steps back, sounds too much like us!!
Explain: "It damn near destroyed us." ???
i thought no one noticed my post...
on reflection, that statement is probably overly dramatic. i guess i mean that we were always stuck in this recurrent pattern of making up and breaking up. i am trying to break the cycle. i believe in my heart we are right for each other but am trying to understand what is causing this recurrent pattern. is this a part of the scorpio taking 2 steps forward and 12 steps back?
maybe i am just a fool. it's a long story so please feel free to ask questions you consider relevant to understanding the situation
on reflection, that statement is probably overly dramatic. i guess i mean that we were always stuck in this recurrent pattern of making up and breaking up. i am trying to break the cycle. i believe in my heart we are right for each other but am trying to understand what is causing this recurrent pattern. is this a part of the scorpio taking 2 steps forward and 12 steps back?
maybe i am just a fool. it's a long story so please feel free to ask questions you consider relevant to understanding the situation
shortyrock, Scorpio men are exactly that way. I am a Scorpio woman, we are more direct about how we feel. The men do get either comfortable after awhile, or either too cought up into you too soon and get afraid that you might not feel the same. Express yourself to him and give him time to come around. If you pressure him, he will run..
well for me im scorpio... but its seem you said you like him much i can tell you still you dont know how to hook him you must ask him and how to comport him so you will see in return... scorpio had own life so you must be strong to show your feeling....then if you know how to apprecite his kindness he gonna show more what you show to him... that what im know about myself...
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