conflictedcap
@conflictedcap
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 30 · Topics: 3
Help Deciphering Unusual Amount of Grief...
Wow, you contacted the gf without getting an explanation?
That's low.
I'm not sure what kind of explanation there could be for that? She's pregnant, waiting for him, living in a garage, and he's cheating.
But why did you contact her?
What did you tell her?
Anyways, welcome to the club, having scorpio moon is a nightmare. It's hard to let go once you let go emotionally & allow yourself to like the person. I've had a terrible breakup too a few years ago & I'm still not over the person. I'm made a decision to NEVER allow myself to fall like that again & I haven't because I'm honestly afraid of the pain.
The pain WILL lessen with time, just hang in there. And hopefully one day it'll go away.
Anyways, welcome to the club, having scorpio moon is a nightmare. It's hard to let go once you let go emotionally & allow yourself to like the person. I've had a terrible breakup too a few years ago & I'm still not over the person. I'm made a decision to NEVER allow myself to fall like that again & I haven't because I'm honestly afraid of the pain.
The pain WILL lessen with time, just hang in there. And hopefully one day it'll go away.
Dang, yall charts seemed compatible
Posted by aquapiscescusp
Wow, you contacted the gf without getting an explanation?
Girl cap/cap relationships are not of the norm. Not saying contacting the girlfriend isnt heard of, but he is lucky thats all that happened.
I contacted her because honestly, I felt sorry for her. And I felt like she should know, and that allowing the deception was condoning the deception. And she's suffering for a guy who would treat her that way. It was all just WRONG.
I told her that he was a liar and a cheater, and he had been dating me for two months. He denied even knowing who I was, but she asked a lot of questions and asked for photos and such... He eventually admitted his cheating to her. I don't know what's happened after, though. Maybe she dumped him, or maybe he went down there. The baby is due any day now...
And he hasn't attempted to contact me at all. LoL. I'm almost positive he won't, either. Besides the fact that he probably had no real emotion for me in the first place, he's a Cap like me, and, well, we're kinda stubborn.
And yeah, the Scorp moon is definitely a pain. ~sigh~
I told her that he was a liar and a cheater, and he had been dating me for two months. He denied even knowing who I was, but she asked a lot of questions and asked for photos and such... He eventually admitted his cheating to her. I don't know what's happened after, though. Maybe she dumped him, or maybe he went down there. The baby is due any day now...
And he hasn't attempted to contact me at all. LoL. I'm almost positive he won't, either. Besides the fact that he probably had no real emotion for me in the first place, he's a Cap like me, and, well, we're kinda stubborn.
And yeah, the Scorp moon is definitely a pain. ~sigh~
Thinking about it, hopefully that wasnt too much stress on the girlfriend being pregnant and all. Hopefully she is alright.
LoL@him denying then getting busted with proof. Smdh.
LoL@him denying then getting busted with proof. Smdh.
She didn't get emotional when I was talking to her. She offered to "remove herself" from the situation and said that he was more accessible to me, since we live in the same city. Which was weird. I declined her offer, lol.
Posted by conflictedcap
I contacted her because honestly, I felt sorry for her. And I felt like she should know, and that allowing the deception was condoning the deception. And she's suffering for a guy who would treat her that way. It was all just WRONG.
I told her that he was a liar and a cheater, and he had been dating me for two months. He denied even knowing who I was, but she asked a lot of questions and asked for photos and such... He eventually admitted his cheating to her. I don't know what's happened after, though. Maybe she dumped him, or maybe he went down there. The baby is due any day now...
And he hasn't attempted to contact me at all. LoL. I'm almost positive he won't, either. Besides the fact that he probably had no real emotion for me in the first place, he's a Cap like me, and, well, we're kinda stubborn.
And yeah, the Scorp moon is definitely a pain. ~sigh~
I don't find fault in what you did because to a scorp moon it's like this, I do to others what I would like done to me. I know that if you were in her shoes you'd have appreciated the call from the other person. We hate being in the dark & made a fool of. As for Lord Douche, he doesn't deserve you & is not worth all the grieving but you'll get there when you're ready. It takes time I know lol. Good luck.
Thanks, WaterCup.
Posted by conflictedcap
She didn't get emotional when I was talking to her. She offered to "remove herself" from the situation and said that he was more accessible to me, since we live in the same city. Which was weird. I declined her offer, lol.
Ha! Now he is with no one lol. Good she didnt get emotional. I bet shes been thru it before.
Posted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescusp
But why did you contact her?
But why not?click to expand
It's a selfish move. The woman is pregnant.
It's a bit extreme... and why did you wait 2 months to get info on him?
ummm... I don't know. I mean, what could I do, hire a private investigator? I googled him before I went out with him, if that counts for anything. LoL
Besides, it's irrelevant at this point...
Besides, it's irrelevant at this point...
It's not him that you're actually grieving the loss of. As you said, you barely know him. And even if you honestly believed yourself when you told yourself that you'd fallen for him, you really didn't b/c you barely knew him
What you're grieving is the loss of the way he made you feel. What you're really grieving is yourself & the fact that once again you used bad judgment. This isn't about him. This is about YOU. That's the reason this situation has brought out all your inner demons, fears, insecurities & feelings of rejection.
If this was really about him, you wouldn't be mentioning all the other guys you've been through this with b/c they wouldn't matter.
You hate that someone who was a part of your daily routine is now no longer a part of it. So it's really the change of routine that you're emotionally responding to & unhappy with.
You're having a hard time letting go emotionally b/c it's too hard for you to believe that once AGAIN, you picked the wrong guy. You're holding on b/c him saying that you ruined his life is somehow weighing on your conscious, even though you know that you did the right thing deep down. You're still holding on b/c the hopeless romantic in you likes to hold out hope "just in case."
But honey, as you get older, get wiser & more mature, you'll realize that ALMOST DOESN'T COUNT
Leave him alone. If you truly feel that you have issues regarding men, then technically he did you a favor by seeing his way out of your life b/c had he actually been a good guy, you would've probably ran him off anyways simply b/c you have so many unresolved issues & unfinished business with your past. So do yourself a favor & learn how to be alone for once!
It's not that you're falling for these guys so fast b/c they are that freakin' great. It's b/c you've trained your mind/heart to believe that all of your worth is measured by who wants you. Change the way you measure your worth & you'll instantly start seeing better results & a better quality of men that you attract.
What you're grieving is the loss of the way he made you feel. What you're really grieving is yourself & the fact that once again you used bad judgment. This isn't about him. This is about YOU. That's the reason this situation has brought out all your inner demons, fears, insecurities & feelings of rejection.
If this was really about him, you wouldn't be mentioning all the other guys you've been through this with b/c they wouldn't matter.
You hate that someone who was a part of your daily routine is now no longer a part of it. So it's really the change of routine that you're emotionally responding to & unhappy with.
You're having a hard time letting go emotionally b/c it's too hard for you to believe that once AGAIN, you picked the wrong guy. You're holding on b/c him saying that you ruined his life is somehow weighing on your conscious, even though you know that you did the right thing deep down. You're still holding on b/c the hopeless romantic in you likes to hold out hope "just in case."
But honey, as you get older, get wiser & more mature, you'll realize that ALMOST DOESN'T COUNT
Leave him alone. If you truly feel that you have issues regarding men, then technically he did you a favor by seeing his way out of your life b/c had he actually been a good guy, you would've probably ran him off anyways simply b/c you have so many unresolved issues & unfinished business with your past. So do yourself a favor & learn how to be alone for once!
It's not that you're falling for these guys so fast b/c they are that freakin' great. It's b/c you've trained your mind/heart to believe that all of your worth is measured by who wants you. Change the way you measure your worth & you'll instantly start seeing better results & a better quality of men that you attract.
You didn't ruin his life. HE ruined his life! If his girlfriend meant so much to him, there would've never been a YOU in the situation. He should've thought about that before he decided that disrespecting his pregnant girlfriend was a good idea/move
I'm sure your intentions for not telling her weren't 100% entirely pure, but nonetheless, as long as what you told her was 100% the truth, that's all that matters!
It pains me to see women clawing at each other & being offended that someone reaches out to them & makes them aware that they are being played, when they know good & damn well that they'd want someone to reach out & tell them too if the shoe was on the other foot!
I'm sure your intentions for not telling her weren't 100% entirely pure, but nonetheless, as long as what you told her was 100% the truth, that's all that matters!
It pains me to see women clawing at each other & being offended that someone reaches out to them & makes them aware that they are being played, when they know good & damn well that they'd want someone to reach out & tell them too if the shoe was on the other foot!
Posted by JenLovePosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescusp
But why did you contact her?
But why not?
It's a selfish move. The woman is pregnant.
Selfish? Selfish is cheating on your pregnant girlfriend. Selfish would be you withholding the fact that you unknowingly had a relationship with someone else's boyfriend and then when you found out you failed to tell the girlfriend because you wanted to spare yourself the guilt of hurting her feelings.
She deserved to know the truth. I mean I understand your point and I probably would have waited but, it's not like an obligation to wait. Either way, it was the right thing to do no matter the timing.click to expand
+1000
if there were more people like OP there would be far fewer women being cheated on and looking like clueless fools. As long as it's not coming from an "i'm gonna fuck up your relationship now" place, this is always the right thing to do.
It is called getting to know someone for more then a week... like say 3 to 6 months...
I am not a fan of don't hate the player hate the game... but it is you that allowed him to play with your heart because you new you had a romantic feelings for him...
Don't blame anyone but yourself... as you need to actually take the time to get to know someone to truly fall in love...
Yes we have signs and mixtures of charts that we are more attracted too... it is a human choice to ignore that for good reason... as if someone is that involved... do you really want to be with him... and is it really true love... I mean come on...
I am not trying to be an a $ $ but could you really be heart broken over a guy like this... It is true no guys with class get any where these days...
This is on you... deal with it and pick better men... don't just take any joe you find attractive... and believe what every he tells you...
PM
I am not a fan of don't hate the player hate the game... but it is you that allowed him to play with your heart because you new you had a romantic feelings for him...
Don't blame anyone but yourself... as you need to actually take the time to get to know someone to truly fall in love...
Yes we have signs and mixtures of charts that we are more attracted too... it is a human choice to ignore that for good reason... as if someone is that involved... do you really want to be with him... and is it really true love... I mean come on...
I am not trying to be an a $ $ but could you really be heart broken over a guy like this... It is true no guys with class get any where these days...
This is on you... deal with it and pick better men... don't just take any joe you find attractive... and believe what every he tells you...
PM
You're having a hard time letting go emotionally b/c it's too hard for you to believe that once AGAIN, you picked the wrong guy. You're holding on b/c him saying that you ruined his life is somehow weighing on your conscious, even though you know that you did the right thing deep down. You're still holding on b/c the hopeless romantic in you likes to hold out hope "just in case."
I can see this is true. It is about me... And piscesmoon2, you are right, as well. I am grieving who I thought he would be, or who I hoped he would be, or whatever... Not actually who he is.
I'm working on it.
I can see this is true. It is about me... And piscesmoon2, you are right, as well. I am grieving who I thought he would be, or who I hoped he would be, or whatever... Not actually who he is.
I'm working on it.
Posted by JenLovePosted by aquapiscescuspPosted by StillWaterPosted by aquapiscescusp
But why did you contact her?
But why not?
It's a selfish move. The woman is pregnant.
Selfish? Selfish is cheating on your pregnant girlfriend.
click to expand
Jen, you have answered this regarding the dude, while the comment was regarding the woman.
The selfishness of the guy is NOT what was referenced.
To feel like a woman being cheated on knowing the truth about her man, is a good thing .. she should know.
BUT ......................................
Not from a woman who is scorned.
The ONLY .... O.N.L.Y....... reason you told the woman was because you hurt, and so you wanted to inflict that pain onto the woman who owns the man you want.
And that is fucked up.
How a person feels during acting out these feelings .. is exactly how they will present themselves. That's the way people work.
when you contacted her, it was for revenge, it was to stick it to him ... and you used the feelings of another woman to get your vengeance.
You showed zero concern for her feelings.
That makes you fucking bitch cunt, who deserves zero RESPECT ... in fact, the universe probably already realized this about you, and so sent this guy you can't seem to get over as punishment to you for being a selfish fucking bitch.
Furthermore, once you told us in here that you deliberately sought out a pregnant woman with intentions of laying devasting news on her .... you have yet to mention anything about her feelings.
You talk about yourself, and you, and then you again, and you, with a couple mentions of him, then you again ..... but, there doesn't appear to be any concern whatsoever that you purposely sought out a pregnant woman who is obviously living in despair if she's in a garage.
You don't appear to care about her ... at all.
You are getting exactly what you deserve .. and I hope you suffer long.
Posted by P-Angel
To feel like a woman being cheated on knowing the truth about her man, is a good thing .. she should know.
BUT ......................................
Not from a woman who is scorned.
The ONLY .... O.N.L.Y....... reason you told the woman was because you hurt, and so you wanted to inflict that pain onto the woman who owns the man you want.
And that is fucked up.
you're growing on me 🙂
that is what I wanted to say but couldn't word it
Posted by P-Angel
How a person feels during acting out these feelings .. is exactly how they will present themselves. That's the way people work.
when you contacted her, it was for revenge, it was to stick it to him ... and you used the feelings of another woman to get your vengeance.
You showed zero concern for her feelings.
That makes you fucking bitch cunt, who deserves zero RESPECT ... in fact, the universe probably already realized this about you, and so sent this guy you can't seem to get over as punishment to you for being a selfish fucking bitch.
and this too... makes sense to me
Posted by P-Angel
To feel like a woman being cheated on knowing the truth about her man, is a good thing .. she should know.
BUT ......................................
Not from a woman who is scorned.
The ONLY .... O.N.L.Y....... reason you told the woman was because you hurt, and so you wanted to inflict that pain onto the woman who owns the man you want.
And that is fucked up.
You assume you know my motivation, when you do not. You will believe what you wish, and I respect that. However, I harbor no guilt over telling the woman, and my conscious is clear in that respect.
Posted by aquapiscescuspPosted by P-Angel
How a person feels during acting out these feelings .. is exactly how they will present themselves. That's the way people work.
when you contacted her, it was for revenge, it was to stick it to him ... and you used the feelings of another woman to get your vengeance.
You showed zero concern for her feelings.
That makes you fucking bitch cunt, who deserves zero RESPECT ... in fact, the universe probably already realized this about you, and so sent this guy you can't seem to get over as punishment to you for being a selfish fucking bitch.click to expand
Hmm. Perhaps. Yet you should listen to the wisdom of your words. Such hateful and vindictive energies will surely have their own repurcussions.
Posted by ellessque
P is coming at you from a pisces sun/cancer moon perspective....which means, if she was in that situation *SHE* would tell the other woman out of revenge and vindictiveness.
That doesn't mean that is why you did it.
I've been in this situation and regardless of the other woman's intent....I'm glad I was told.
I also have been in the situation, and I was not told. I wish that I had been.
I don't know, 2 months is not long enough to go crazy like you did. Especially on a pregnant woman. I don't get the feeling he promised you anything. He is the one who needs to be addressed, not her. Some women don't want to know shit like that, they bury their head in the sand and that's it. If she wanted to know, she would know. You simply acted quite selfishly and dumped on her instead of on HIM!
Maybe you gave it up too soon and you feel bad about that? That's not her fault.
Maybe you gave it up too soon and you feel bad about that? That's not her fault.
Posted by JenLovePosted by P-Angel
Jen, you have answered this regarding the dude, while the comment was regarding the woman.
The selfishness of the guy is NOT what was referenced.
What's your point? I added on to what was being referenced, which is something I'm allowed to do obviously because I did it. Thanks for your input though.click to expand
The point is obvious ... why aren't you able to get it?
Posted by conflictedcap
I harbor no guilt over telling the woman, and my conscious is clear in that respect.
Of course, you don't have any guilt ..... because cunt bitches who don't give a fuck about other women don't care.
I already pointed out how fucked up you are for not caring .... and this post is you agreeing with it.
Again .... I hope you suffer long.
My weakness is bad boys so I have had my fair share of them but what really gets me is.... that you will never know
and this is something that for some odd reason is very funny to me.
Posted by mfwb55
My weakness is bad boys so I have had my fair share of them but what really gets me is.... that you will never know
Why are you attracted to bad boys?
I am not anymore I used to
Ok good 🙂
Posted by JenLovePosted by P-AngelPosted by JenLovePosted by P-Angel
Jen, you have answered this regarding the dude, while the comment was regarding the woman.
The selfishness of the guy is NOT what was referenced.
What's your point? I added on to what was being referenced, which is something I'm allowed to do obviously because I did it. Thanks for your input though.
The point is obvious ... why aren't you able to get it?
I'm not able to get it because there is no point which is not surprising when it comes to you. If there was a point though and if it was obvious I would have never asked, OBVIOUSLY.click to expand
A statement was made about/to the girl and her motivation, her actions .... you answered referencing the guy, commenting on his actions as an answer about the girl. I pointed out that you answered referencing the guy when the question was about the girl.
Then you answered me asking what my point was, when my point was .. you answered about the wrong person.
Why is that so difficult to grasp? You come off sounding intelligent, that's why I was talking to you, because I thought you were smart ... I guess, like everyone else here .... you can't get past your panties wadded up your ass when I speak.
Why didn't you find out about the pregnant girlfriend BEFORE you fucked him? Couldn't you wait to find more about him first?
What gives you -a booty call, obviously- the right to interfere/destroy other people relationships?
How do you know he wouldn't have got back to her and their child, and live happily ever after?
What gives you -a booty call, obviously- the right to interfere/destroy other people relationships?
How do you know he wouldn't have got back to her and their child, and live happily ever after?
I'm not gonna say what you did was right or wrong but you felt like you did what needed to be done! I probably would've done the same, and don't think it's low. When he involved you in his life you had a right to be aware of all situations. Plus a baby and baby mama, that's low of him.
Haha ain't nobody got time for that
lol...
Haha ain't nobody got time for that
lol...
Just think of it as a bullet you dodged, he could be one of the loves of your life but at this point in his life he clearly isn't worthy of any woman. You have self respect and seem smart, you'll find this connection again. It is hard to find that unexplainable chemistry and when it's lost it hurts a lot, I'm the same way when it comes to falling in love. A guy that gives me that "spark" can walk all over me (not really but I'm a sucker). But know you're better than any guy who doesn't treat you as they should. Just grieve as you do and move on. There are guys with the same combo of signs somewhere in this big, wide world.
Why do some women jump into the sack with a man before they check them out?
One would think when you see multiple stories identical to this one they would.
..and NOPE..I won't apologize for a lack of sympathy here. It's just common sense imo
One would think when you see multiple stories identical to this one they would.
..and NOPE..I won't apologize for a lack of sympathy here. It's just common sense imo
Posted by conflictedcap
So, heartache is nothing new for me. I don't know why, but I have a penchant for falling hard and fast for the wrong guys... I have a Cap sun, a Scorp moon and Gem rising.
Second question without sympathy...
What will you do to change YOUR behavior?
It's obvious by the existence of this thread, and by her saying that she can't shake him and wants him that the only reason she told the homeless pregnant woman (living in someones garage) ... is in hopes that she breaks up with him, so the OP can have him.
I'd put money on it .....
Because there is no other reason for this thread.
If she was angry, her words would represent that .... her words, and tone represent that she wants him .. she wants him for herself.
She's done something to someone, somewhere down the line to this karma brought to her .... and from the looks of how she handled herself in this situation in where she purposely harmed an innocent woman ... her hell is going to be unbearable.
That woman, waiting in the garage .... was vulnerable, and innocent, and you're fucking cunt.
Posted by P-Angel
It's obvious by the existence of this thread, and by her saying that she can't shake him and wants him that the only reason she told the homeless pregnant woman (living in someones garage) ... is in hopes that she breaks up with him, so the OP can have him.
I'd put money on it .....
If this is what she was hoping for (I do sense it is), he is NEVER coming back, that's a fact.
Posted by starlover
Well i guess most people want to be a better person, but it is not that simple to *change your behaviour* when that is how you have behaved for years and years ~ we are but mere humans
It takes some a lifetime to attain that and some do not at all
Most "humans" after repeated error of judgements (key word repeated) who state they know they are doing this, have figured it out. It's called acknowledging it but choosing not to change it. The one's that don't typically enjoy the role of the grieving victim.
Posted by P-Angel
It's obvious by the existence of this thread, and by her saying that she can't shake him and wants him that the only reason she told the homeless pregnant woman (living in someones garage) ... is in hopes that she breaks up with him, so the OP can have him.
I'd put money on it .....
I'd like to have a one on one with the person who raised her to think this behavior is OK.
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