Hopeless Romantics and Sensitive Souls--How do you guard your heart from falling too fast?

Posted by CruellaWhite
You know the irony is, people who don't trust are so damned attractive.

Just like people who trust too much on the other end of the spectrum, oh the gullible guileless sort, yummy.

I suppose confidence is key. Confident people have a normal trust of the world around them. I am not a very confident person.Op bad feelings pass.

I will give you a little piece of advice. Feather headedness is an underrated life skill. It's the skill of being desensitized not through coldness but through a different type of ......something that i can't think of a word for...but it's very airy and rhymes with dairy.

Posted by tiziani
See yourself as you really are, rather than just how the other person makes you feel you are.

Then you won't have to guard yourself against anyone.


It's about finding moderation imo.

Posted by CruellaWhite
Oh I have so many little strategies. :-)

I spend so much time thinking about them it takes up most of my day.

Posted by CruellaWhite

Posted by Mohini
I never save numbers either LOL. It somehow makes me feel better.

Oh good lord yes. And you might be tempted to call someone but you really need to make yourself wait to have them call you etc. It's the little tiny boundaries etc.

Plus you have the added bonus of not clogging up your phone with a load numbers with people you hardly know.

I am thinking of saving my strategy though. Of saving EVERY number just like guys do when compiling a little black book.

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Posted by tiziani

Posted by malloryor

Posted by tiziani
See yourself as you really are, rather than just how the other person makes you feel you are.

Then you won't have to guard yourself against anyone.


It's about finding moderation imo.

Yes. I think it does take a lot of soul searching and knowing exactly who you are and here is what I think is the true key, LOVING who that person is. I think I know myself pretty well, but it can get lost in another person and I think it may be because I have not become so.incredibly in love with myself, that i cant imagine allowing someone else to have such an.influence or way in.

If that's what you need to do then yes.

For me it's a little different. The key for me was not getting too into my emotions so I don't react in a shitty way with people I care about, but I do agree I have to judge the best course of action by feeling good about myself too. What I learned just recently was I never took the time or put in the work to separate feelings from emotions.

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Posted by CruellaWhite

Posted by malloryor
No. Lol I am an absolute optimist, I always look to tomorrow being a new, better day. I am an eternal hopeless romantic too. I think it is harder for me too because I am not one of those people who dates people for...hmm more mundane, practical reasons. Like I have a friend that is a Leo and she just wants a guy that can provide for her. What a snooze in my opinion. Sure a good provider is something I want but it is more of a trait I want out of developing respect NOT attraction. If I am not atteacting to someone, then i rather be single. I can be content on my own and often times I am so I dont try to date. Typically the way I date is from falling into it. So I think when that happens its a whirlwind because it is unexpected. I dont plan it. I'm not actively setting up dating profiles online or going out places expecting to meet someone, or trying to give hints to men I like them.

But this time around, I can sense it in my core that love is on its way and I am determined to not short change myself this time. I want to be prepared and more in control. Wiser in love.

Oh sweetheart :-) You are truly a sweet soul. I hope you find it.
I need a solid provider you see. I can't look after myself at all. Although I seem to be so sensitive and non nonchalant it gets in the way of my objective.

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Posted by malloryor
Another tip.

For us hopeless romantics, too trusting, easily falling in love lovers, DONT TALK ABOUT A NEW LOVE PROSPECT (exclusive or early dating) with friends until you are in a relationship.

I realized in my last dating scenario, I got completely a
Swept off my feet because the man was a firey charmer, full on passion and intensity, and really knew how to treat a lady...of course this was all in his game. I did not know. I realized when I talked about him with my friends, they solidified my emotions, instead of grounded me.

If you keep things private, it is almost like keeping yourself from getting too ahead of yourself.

Posted by Aquastic
My pisces best friend has the same problem as you, she is even scared to try again cause she gets attached too easily too and only gets burned in the end.

Unlike her I keep trying for love even in hopeless places. It's fun , and get to let a lot about myself and what I need.

Try dating just for fun? Or have more than one partner, just for control *wink*

Posted by Harukaa
I keep it all to my self .. so no one can hurt me

I guess I will keep it this way till the end.

Posted by malloryor
Pisces here, I am wondering how other sensitive romantics, with a tad lack of impulse control keep your heart guarded from falling too quickly?

I am easing back into the dating scene but I have a bit of trouble with keeping myself grounded. I am perfectly fine being single when I am single, and to be quite honest I dont fall for many people because I am quite passionate and I just need to feel that "special something," or else I am completely bored and unmotivated to be with a person. My dilemma is I can get easily attached to people I do like, NOT clingy, my Aries moon makes me too stubborn and prideful for that, but I will trust too soon. I instantly see the person I am interested in as "perfect" and it is like all caution and logic just get away from me. I will notice red flags and still want to either please the person, bend myself to fit that individual (rather than make sure they are right for ME), I trust too fast, give benefit of the doubt, and/or give too much of myself at my own expense. And once it is too late, I finally hear my intution I ignored for too long...at that point I have been fucked over. It is just so damn depressing but I dont know how to control it. I just get so DAMN FREAKING HAPPY (seee) and optimistic about a great person I meet.

How do you peeps like me, navigate dating and keep your emotions in check?

I have started not saving numbers in my phone of guys I just start to date...no saved number reminds me that nothing is concrete, so dont get attached or let your guard down too soon.

What do you guys do???

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by malloryor
Pisces here, I am wondering how other sensitive romantics, with a tad lack of impulse control keep your heart guarded from falling too quickly?

I am easing back into the dating scene but I have a bit of trouble with keeping myself grounded. I am perfectly fine being single when I am single, and to be quite honest I dont fall for many people because I am quite passionate and I just need to feel that "special something," or else I am completely bored and unmotivated to be with a person. My dilemma is I can get easily attached to people I do like, NOT clingy, my Aries moon makes me too stubborn and prideful for that, but I will trust too soon. I instantly see the person I am interested in as "perfect" and it is like all caution and logic just get away from me. I will notice red flags and still want to either please the person, bend myself to fit that individual (rather than make sure they are right for ME), I trust too fast, give benefit of the doubt, and/or give too much of myself at my own expense. And once it is too late, I finally hear my intution I ignored for too long...at that point I have been fucked over. It is just so damn depressing but I dont know how to control it. I just get so DAMN FREAKING HAPPY (seee) and optimistic about a great person I meet.

How do you peeps like me, navigate dating and keep your emotions in check?

I have started not saving numbers in my phone of guys I just start to date...no saved number reminds me that nothing is concrete, so dont get attached or let your guard down too soon.

What do you guys do???

one thing is consistent, you want to be IN a relationship!! I think your dominant airy chart makes you question things too much and not just get IN the relationship. Just a guess?

your aries moon should be brave and courageous, and will bravely go into a relationship, but maybe it's your air venus and air mars and air Saturn stellium that is making you question so much?

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Posted by lisabethur8
I am just now observing this, and need further study on them. lol when they say pisces has all the signs there you go!!

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by dorie

Posted by malloryor
Another tip.

For us hopeless romantics, too trusting, easily falling in love lovers, DONT TALK ABOUT A NEW LOVE PROSPECT (exclusive or early dating) with friends until you are in a relationship.

I realized in my last dating scenario, I got completely a
Swept off my feet because the man was a firey charmer, full on passion and intensity, and really knew how to treat a lady...of course this was all in his game. I did not know. I realized when I talked about him with my friends, they solidified my emotions, instead of grounded me.

If you keep things private, it is almost like keeping yourself from getting too ahead of yourself.

Yes I completely agree with you, better not share such things with your friends, until you are deeper into the relationship.

Definately aquantances who
Once they hear ur interest being their pursuit n creat a wedge between your interest. Lesson learned

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Posted by Cg2016
To be honest I've stopped dreaming and I just went numb after my ex around July of last year. I've dated after that but never managed to catch feelings or anything. The guys weren't shit guys I'm just numb. I finally got a crush on someone, but I don't want anything serious. I wrote about the issue in another post lol. So idk my pink fog ran out and I'm just numb. I have no expectations, I dream of no one and I just date and see what happens. I don't expect them to last long so I just float through. It's not even on the actual basis of them fuckin up, but I know that I won't fall for them and they'll fall for me so eventually I'll have to leave. This is what my life has come to lmao.

This is really sad Don't become bitter or filled with pessimism. A healthy balance is good, I think going in with no expectations is wise but I think having the expectation that things will fail can turn into a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Posted by Cg2016
Ah and also don't fall in love with potential. See everything for what it is. You set the standards. Let them chase you and bend for you.

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This is good advice. I had this talk with a few older women in my life and my spiritual advisor and I do agree that it is best to approach dating like the person is there to impress you, rather than seeing it as a test for you to pass. I think that is how many of us end up stuck in dead in relationships or end up disappointed when a relationship does not turn iout the way they hoped.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by dorie

Posted by malloryor
Another tip.

For us hopeless romantics, too trusting, easily falling in love lovers, DONT TALK ABOUT A NEW LOVE PROSPECT (exclusive or early dating) with friends until you are in a relationship.

I realized in my last dating scenario, I got completely a
Swept off my feet because the man was a firey charmer, full on passion and intensity, and really knew how to treat a lady...of course this was all in his game. I did not know. I realized when I talked about him with my friends, they solidified my emotions, instead of grounded me.

If you keep things private, it is almost like keeping yourself from getting too ahead of yourself.

Yes I completely agree with you, better not share such things with your friends, until you are deeper into the relationship.

Definately aquantances who
Once they hear ur interest being their pursuit n creat a wedge between your interest. Lesson learned

click to expand

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Cg2016
To be honest I've stopped dreaming and I just went numb after my ex around July of last year. I've dated after that but never managed to catch feelings or anything. The guys weren't shit guys I'm just numb. I finally got a crush on someone, but I don't want anything serious. I wrote about the issue in another post lol. So idk my pink fog ran out and I'm just numb. I have no expectations, I dream of no one and I just date and see what happens. I don't expect them to last long so I just float through. It's not even on the actual basis of them fuckin up, but I know that I won't fall for them and they'll fall for me so eventually I'll have to leave. This is what my life has come to lmao.

This is really sad Don't become bitter or filled with pessimism. A healthy balance is good, I think going in with no expectations is wise but I think having the expectation that things will fail can turn into a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Posted by Cg2016
Ah and also don't fall in love with potential. See everything for what it is. You set the standards. Let them chase you and bend for you.

This is good advice. I had this talk with a few older women in my life and my spiritual advisor and I do agree that it is best to approach dating like the person is there to impress you, rather than seeing it as a test for you to pass. I think that is how many of us end up stuck in dead in relationships or end up disappointed when a relationship does not turn iout the way they hoped.

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Posted by malloryor

Posted by lisabethur8
I am just now observing this, and need further study on them. lol when they say pisces has all the signs there you go!!

Omgosh yes! That really resonates with me. I know many picses and not one of them is like me, I dont base my entire life on my chart so I believe that a big part of why my chart does not resonate with me is due to my upbringing and experiences. I have one pisces friend that can be quite self centered and lack awareness for others emotions and feelings. She is generous materially, but then she is also vain and needs material things. Me on the otherhand, dont care about material items, I am very focused and driven, fisically responsible, sensitive about others, and very independent, yet I am very social and love cultivating relationships. We are both similar only in how intuitive we are. But, I think our differences are rooted in that she grew up fairly wealthy, and always got what she wanted. I grew up having to work for anything I wanted.

So the mystery about my disconnect to my chart continues...but I think it is resonable to assume that perhaps my childhood has made me into something other than my birth time originally intended.

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Posted by lisabethur8
you know, upon further study, pisces sun women are soooo different.

what the hell??

Posted by SternAmHimmel
I think the real key with Pisces is their environment. We're so sensitive and easily impacted by our surroundings, especially when growing up, so it can really set the basis for who we are in the future. She's definitely an undeveloped Pisces.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by malloryor

Posted by lisabethur8
I am just now observing this, and need further study on them. lol when they say pisces has all the signs there you go!!

Omgosh yes! That really resonates with me. I know many picses and not one of them is like me, I dont base my entire life on my chart so I believe that a big part of why my chart does not resonate with me is due to my upbringing and experiences. I have one pisces friend that can be quite self centered and lack awareness for others emotions and feelings. She is generous materially, but then she is also vain and needs material things. Me on the otherhand, dont care about material items, I am very focused and driven, fisically responsible, sensitive about others, and very independent, yet I am very social and love cultivating relationships. We are both similar only in how intuitive we are. But, I think our differences are rooted in that she grew up fairly wealthy, and always got what she wanted. I grew up having to work for anything I wanted.

So the mystery about my disconnect to my chart continues...but I think it is resonable to assume that perhaps my childhood has made me into something other than my birth time originally intended.

when people are brought up in wealth, it's a huge gap when they associate with other people who are not in their status field or at least upper middle class.

at least she is very very kind to be around you. She must find you really lovely and looks for character and not for those who are around her status. at least she is good like that.

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Posted by Piscis_Hominis
When we put someone on a pedestal we need to make sure that we are putting ourselves up their with them. You shouldn't put them on a pedestal but it's hard not to especially when you are comparing them to the pickings around your or past relationships.

If you must put them on a pedestal, you need to find a way to put yourself on that pedestal too with them. I have to give a attention to this person but I'm not going to give them pieces of myself until they have earned though pieces by spending time with me and caring about me as much as I'm starting to care about them.

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
Remember, no one should be on a pedestal, but at the very least you should be on there with them, the higher you put yourself while keeping them within reach below you, the better.

That was really insightful post, thank you, I really appreciate it

I promise you I am writing these words down and keeping them in my little arsenal of positive affirmations

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Posted by malloryor

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
When we put someone on a pedestal we need to make sure that we are putting ourselves up their with them. You shouldn't put them on a pedestal but it's hard not to especially when you are comparing them to the pickings around your or past relationships.

If you must put them on a pedestal, you need to find a way to put yourself on that pedestal too with them. I have to give a attention to this person but I'm not going to give them pieces of myself until they have earned though pieces by spending time with me and caring about me as much as I'm starting to care about them.

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
Remember, no one should be on a pedestal, but at the very least you should be on there with them, the higher you put yourself while keeping them within reach below you, the better.

That was really insightful post, thank you, I really appreciate it

I promise you I am writing these words down and keeping them in my little arsenal of positive affirmations

Thanks..make sure you fix some of my typos when you write it down...lol

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Posted by Piscis_Hominis

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
When we put someone on a pedestal we need to make sure that we are putting ourselves up their with them. You shouldn't put them on a pedestal but it's hard not to especially when you are comparing them to the pickings around your or past relationships.

If you must put them on a pedestal, you need to find a way to put yourself on that pedestal too with them. I have to give a attention to this person but I'm not going to give them pieces of myself until they have earned though pieces by spending time with me and caring about me as much as I'm starting to care about them.

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
Remember, no one should be on a pedestal, but at the very least you should be on there with them, the higher you put yourself while keeping them within reach below you, the better.

That was really insightful post, thank you, I really appreciate it

I promise you I am writing these words down and keeping them in my little arsenal of positive affirmations

Thanks..make sure you fix some of my typos when you write it down...lol

Nope your words were perfect

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Posted by malloryor

Posted by Piscis_Hominis

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
When we put someone on a pedestal we need to make sure that we are putting ourselves up their with them. You shouldn't put them on a pedestal but it's hard not to especially when you are comparing them to the pickings around your or past relationships.

If you must put them on a pedestal, you need to find a way to put yourself on that pedestal too with them. I have to give a attention to this person but I'm not going to give them pieces of myself until they have earned though pieces by spending time with me and caring about me as much as I'm starting to care about them.

Posted by Piscis_Hominis
Remember, no one should be on a pedestal, but at the very least you should be on there with them, the higher you put yourself while keeping them within reach below you, the better.

That was really insightful post, thank you, I really appreciate it

I promise you I am writing these words down and keeping them in my little arsenal of positive affirmations

Thanks..make sure you fix some of my typos when you write it down...lol

Nope your words were perfect

I hate typos...but I'm leaving 'em in...lol

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