How to get a Cancer Man back... Please help

Sit tight this is so complicated? but please help?So, we met when we were 17, we've been in love with each other for 13 years, well up until at least 6 months ago anyways. We dated for 6-7 years and had a lot of obstacles to overcome in those 6-7 years. We ended up moving in with each other briefly and then I had to get my own place because we were fighting too much. Ever since I moved out we have kinda gone out separate ways but still continue to see one another, we didn't talk everyday but we called each other and spent time together off and on. He met some one 1 year ago and all the time I was trying to give him advice on how to make it work, we spent a little time together 6 months ago at the beach and we were together. He got engaged, in December and this flash went off in my head for the past 13 years everything about us surfaced in my mind. I know a lot of people are going to say ? I probably want him back because I know he's now engaged? but that's not it. I been in love with him my whole life, I've never been with anyone after him and I guess I always felt that we would end up together in the end. We had a lot of up's and down but we got through it. I went to him and told him I wanted to be with him and that I made a mistake but for some reason it took me this long to tell him, and that I was sorry. I told him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and that 13 years was something worth fighting for. This girl that he with is younger, has no idea what it takes to make a marriage work. They have been together for one year, how can he want to marry her? After telling him how I felt, we started to spend time together and we have even been with each other many times, he says that he already told his parents and her parents and he can't go back on his word. After he tells me this he stick in ?not that I want to go back on my work either?. We spend more time together and he says to me one day that he's confused and what is he supposed to do ?switch girls at this point? he goes on to say that he know I would make him happier but that thing are changed and they way he felt about me isn't the same. He calls me before he goes to pick her up, and when he drops her off, and we talk all day, but his answer remains the same ?I gave my word already?. When we're together he realizes but he can't go back on what he has already said. We're at a point right now where he is trying to put distance between us, but he's taking the easy way out and hidi

hiding behind words he's already broken. What do I do at this point? Please help?.

I know everything about him, but I can't get close to him if he keeps pushing me away. If I can't spend time with him, he's gonna make this huge mistake, all because he gotten used to a situation and I don't doubt he may love this girl but it's not strong this relationship. I tried to sit back and just spend tie with him leaving the attraction out of it for a bit but then he initiates everything at that point and then when I initiate or at least try to you can see the pull back expression on his face. I'm gonna love him for the rest of my life and this girl is not going to make him happy in the end. He' know this deep down, he doesn't want to hurt her and that's his biggest thing, we've been in a similar situation like this years ago and I think he thinks it's going to end up the same where we are not together, but I'm here now, no doubts and I would marry him tomorrow if that was the case. We've been through so much and technically 13 years and we're still standing, no one been able to come between us except for ourselves, how do I get through to him, he's sooooooo stubborn right now with him even says hurtful things but he's my everything an I know he doesn't mean any of it, or does he, he got me so confused right now. It wasn't even a real engagement, no ring, he couldn't see this girl because of her parents and so I think he made a commitment to show them he was serious about her, and here we are?..I can't sleep, I wake up in the middle of the night out of my sleep because I'm so distraught, I can't lose him.

I told him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and that 13 years was something worth fighting for. This girl that he with is younger, has no idea what it takes to make a marriage work. They have been together for one year, how can he want to marry her?

so got a few questions for you...

- you started dating as practically kids, never seen anyone else or have much experience of anything else, right?

- you have grown up to become different people than you were at 17, it's a fact of life, needs change, requirements change, has this changed for 2 of you and you're trying to hang on due to the amount of time you put in?

- has the 13 years relationship being very blissful?

- do you think because you were together for 13yrs that qualifies you better as a marriage candidate than someone he has known for 1yr? I didn't think love was that organised?

- stand back and read what you write again as an observer for a second, is this how love is? most of the things you write is really about what you want, do you see that?

Your right we dated from kids, I've seen other people but the connection and trust just wasn't there, I'm 30 and I've seen alot of friends go through relationship ups and downs and we've gone through but we still end up confiding in one anther at the end of the day.

I have grown to be different and better person, but that doesn't change loving someone, needs and wants to apply to us, as long as we've had each other we;re stronger.

6-7 years was amazing except for ppl trying to get in between us, but again in the end of it all here we are.

And I do think that because we've been together for 13 years make us stronger to make a great marriage, He and i know everything about each other, no matter what he does or says we're always there for each other, no judgments, just understanding becasue we get one another, time doesn't make love (your right in that sense) if love is ther then it's there.

He says if she wasn't around then we'd be spending alot more time together, does that sound like a realtionship ready for marriage to you..he's confused when he's with me and he says he knows I would make him happier and that he loves being around me, these are his words, not mine. i hear what your saying though, but in the midst of feeling all these things I wrote what I could to relieve my mind, I do want to be with him but it's becasue I love him, i always have, i can't seem to get through my days without him.

the connection and trust just wasn't there....And I do think that because we've been together for 13 years make us stronger to make a great marriage, He and i know everything about each other, no matter what he does or says we're always there for each other, no judgments, just understanding becasue we get one another, time doesn't make love (your right in that sense) if love is ther then it's there.

the bottom line here is if you hang on to what 'could be' rather than what 'is' then you ruin future opportunities... frankly what you describe, friends can have. Are you hanging on?

To be honest, if he wanted to be with you he will be rid of the other woman, all it sounds is excuses to have what he wants... best of 2 women as now you're saying it's the other woman's fault, depending on what he's told the other woman, she may be blaming you too --- while the guilty party 'HIM' laughs his way to the bank...

Put your life on hold for him, he's playing you when you're not even married, then you go in and get married, you give him the green card to mess with you for LIFE... like firefly says, marriage is not a joke (well, not supposed to be but we all know it's getting to be). Marriage doesn't guarantee you love and faithfulness, if anything, without good foundation, makes it worse... LIVE YOUR LIFE!

mine doesn't talk to me anymore yet i am in his mind all the times.

hardihar! erm, how do you know this?

Firefly19: I took your advice, I spoke to him about how serious marriage was and that beeter to make a choice now then later. I also told him I was steppin out of this situation because it was way to hurtful and I can't be with him knowing he is with someone else. He ended it last night with her, and we woke up this morning together. Thank you so much for all your help.

Zenalchemy:
You were right in some sense, but I never blamed this girl because she was never the issue, he and I were. We sorted alot of things out and here were are still standing. Thanks for all your advice, you seem really bitter though about your past experience, have more faith.