how to get over your dying ex wife ?!
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by RedPoker on Thursday, June 9, 2016 and has 13 replies.
four years ago i was the luckiest guy ever
i married my best friend at work after we fell in love for one year before we got married
everything was fine until i knew that her family is more important than me or our marriage...
i dont actually have a family no mother or a father they r both gone and i have no brothers or sisters. all i had was my friends. and my wife knew that, she knew that she is everything i've got and after our marriage i actually sold the world to be with her i left all my friends cuz i though i finally found the family am looking for. at first 4 months my mother in law started to put her nose in every tiny details in my home and my personal live and thats when the war started
my wife made it clear for me if she had to chose btwen her husband or her mother she will go with her mother
so i started acting to save my marriage and my wife cuz i love her and she was pregnant
and i allowed many things that i shouldnt allow.
many times we had a fight over the phone when am at work to go home and finds that she left with my son and i forgive and forget.. and act sorry to keep her by myside even when am not wrong
after 3 years she got sick and i did find that she had cancer
i've done my part and stayed beside her at her mother house with my 2years old son and did everything i could to cure her even while i know that my live is ruined... i know that who gets cancer will often dies by cancer... and also cuz her doctor told me that soon he will not be able to help her anymore.
i lived in pain for one year cuz i feel helpless for the only women i've ever loved. until i had a fight with her mother and then my wife asked for divorce.
and when i told them what her doctor said to me as a try to make her family let me live with her in peace and let me stay by her side till the end, they asked for her things and said there is no going back together they wont allow it. and my wife also said she dont want me anymore no matter how much i tried to make her remember the good things we had or everything i've done for her after she got sick. and than i had nothing left to do but give her everything. they toke everything even my things i let them take it, i didnt want anything to remind me of her... but the problem is.. i cant really forget her its been 5 months and i still remember only my mistakes and the good things we had and feel sorry for not being able to be beside her
i really need help i cant get back on my feet, i always see my memories with her everywhere
she was my everything
and we r now separated but she is going to get her divorce by way or another
all i can think about is what will happen to me if she died and what they will do with my son as her in egypt the kid will stay with her mother. that is the law.
i really cant get over her or get my closure or even live in peace
any ideas??
i married my best friend at work after we fell in love for one year before we got married
everything was fine until i knew that her family is more important than me or our marriage...
i dont actually have a family no mother or a father they r both gone and i have no brothers or sisters. all i had was my friends. and my wife knew that, she knew that she is everything i've got and after our marriage i actually sold the world to be with her i left all my friends cuz i though i finally found the family am looking for. at first 4 months my mother in law started to put her nose in every tiny details in my home and my personal live and thats when the war started
my wife made it clear for me if she had to chose btwen her husband or her mother she will go with her mother
so i started acting to save my marriage and my wife cuz i love her and she was pregnant
and i allowed many things that i shouldnt allow.
many times we had a fight over the phone when am at work to go home and finds that she left with my son and i forgive and forget.. and act sorry to keep her by myside even when am not wrong
after 3 years she got sick and i did find that she had cancer
i've done my part and stayed beside her at her mother house with my 2years old son and did everything i could to cure her even while i know that my live is ruined... i know that who gets cancer will often dies by cancer... and also cuz her doctor told me that soon he will not be able to help her anymore.
i lived in pain for one year cuz i feel helpless for the only women i've ever loved. until i had a fight with her mother and then my wife asked for divorce.
and when i told them what her doctor said to me as a try to make her family let me live with her in peace and let me stay by her side till the end, they asked for her things and said there is no going back together they wont allow it. and my wife also said she dont want me anymore no matter how much i tried to make her remember the good things we had or everything i've done for her after she got sick. and than i had nothing left to do but give her everything. they toke everything even my things i let them take it, i didnt want anything to remind me of her... but the problem is.. i cant really forget her its been 5 months and i still remember only my mistakes and the good things we had and feel sorry for not being able to be beside her
i really need help i cant get back on my feet, i always see my memories with her everywhere
she was my everything
and we r now separated but she is going to get her divorce by way or another
all i can think about is what will happen to me if she died and what they will do with my son as her in egypt the kid will stay with her mother. that is the law.
i really cant get over her or get my closure or even live in peace
any ideas??
From what i read about Egyptian custody and divorce laws you must have been a real ass hole for your wife to go through all the trouble of divorcing you.
either way I think you get the better end of the deal, you'll get a new wife and have more children and you wont have the burden of your other children as their grandmother will be looking after them, later down the track when they get older they will come and seek you out.
Just stop feeling sorry for yourself, this all could have been avoided if you stopped being so selfish, your wife has cancer and all you can think about is yourself, lol you got what you wished for; a new life and you're still complaining
either way I think you get the better end of the deal, you'll get a new wife and have more children and you wont have the burden of your other children as their grandmother will be looking after them, later down the track when they get older they will come and seek you out.
Just stop feeling sorry for yourself, this all could have been avoided if you stopped being so selfish, your wife has cancer and all you can think about is yourself, lol you got what you wished for; a new life and you're still complaining
So sorry.. Whatever I say will be less..
Like impulsv said.. Keep trying ..you will have no regrets..
Also some things are beyond our control, so dont stress yourself out too much..
Like impulsv said.. Keep trying ..you will have no regrets..
Also some things are beyond our control, so dont stress yourself out too much..
I don't know you as a person. I only can judge the lines I read her. Hence I beg you to forgive me if that does not fit your character at all.
the past:
you should have lived as devote in that family. one way of winning is to know when you've lost.
the future:
Marry a second time. Establish a new family and overtake the custody once your son is 7. as far as I remember this is how Islamic law works. Under 7 mother, above 7 father.
In the comming four years avoid the mother in law or the family by any means. Cause they trigger the weak and impulsive character in you. The Islamic law is on your side. You need only to avoid creating drama which can be used against you in the court. For example depression or drug abuse or beating people.
If you want your son, you have only one option: be strong and establish a new functioning family.
the past:
you should have lived as devote in that family. one way of winning is to know when you've lost.
the future:
Marry a second time. Establish a new family and overtake the custody once your son is 7. as far as I remember this is how Islamic law works. Under 7 mother, above 7 father.
In the comming four years avoid the mother in law or the family by any means. Cause they trigger the weak and impulsive character in you. The Islamic law is on your side. You need only to avoid creating drama which can be used against you in the court. For example depression or drug abuse or beating people.
If you want your son, you have only one option: be strong and establish a new functioning family.
"establish a new functioning family."
well, establishing a new family is not a legal pre-condition. But it is a sign that the man can commit to responsibility and nurture. So a man who has a wife or a man who lives with his parents and they are good at health gets his children above 7.
If her family can prove that you are instable or cannot offer stable nurturing conditions, they can win. You have to visualize that you'll win and you'll win.
I just remember that I don't know if her family is Muslim or Christian. Or anything else. I only assumed the government law follow the Islamic law.
well, establishing a new family is not a legal pre-condition. But it is a sign that the man can commit to responsibility and nurture. So a man who has a wife or a man who lives with his parents and they are good at health gets his children above 7.
If her family can prove that you are instable or cannot offer stable nurturing conditions, they can win. You have to visualize that you'll win and you'll win.
I just remember that I don't know if her family is Muslim or Christian. Or anything else. I only assumed the government law follow the Islamic law.
" i still remember only my mistakes and the good things we had and feel sorry for not being able to be beside her"
well, you cannot change the past.
Forget the past as soon as possible.
People know and God knows that we cannot live a life without mistakes. It's not possible. Impossible.
Plan for future.
And believe that you are a good person who would do the good every time he has the opportunity.
Watch out for future opportunities where you can do good.
Be good but don't wast time to prove it to anybody. Just do good.
well, you cannot change the past.
Forget the past as soon as possible.
People know and God knows that we cannot live a life without mistakes. It's not possible. Impossible.
Plan for future.
And believe that you are a good person who would do the good every time he has the opportunity.
Watch out for future opportunities where you can do good.
Be good but don't wast time to prove it to anybody. Just do good.
Get a very good lawyer.
Really.
So sorry her family split you up... they sound like horrible people.
So much absurdity, here.
Really.
So sorry her family split you up... they sound like horrible people.
So much absurdity, here.
Posted by RedPoker
1. everything was fine until i knew that her family is more important than me or our marriage..
2. dont actually have a family ... and my wife knew that, she knew that she is everything i've got
3. at first 4 months my mother in law started to put her nose in every tiny details in my home and my personal live and thats when the war started
4. so i started acting to save my marriage and my wife cuz i love her and she was pregnant
5. did everything i could to cure her even while i know that my live is ruined
6. until i had a fight with her mother and then my wife asked for divorce.
7. and when i told them what her doctor said to me as a try to make her family let me live with her in peace and let me stay by her side till the end, they asked for her things and said there is no going back together they wont allow it.
8. if she died and what they will do with my son as her in egypt the kid will stay with her mother. that is the law.
1. this is just you having a pissy fit because you need attention. every person alive values their family more than life itself, so put your big boy pants on and get a fucking grip
2. this is you guilt-tripping her, you expect her to carry your burden for you, and you use the fact that she has a family against her ... what other reason is there for you to make it sound like she should owe you?
3. you participated in creating a "war" with her family. some in-laws done mesh, that's life .. but, you don't throw a hissy fit and start a feud with her mother. It's like you just want drama.
4. you have to act ... you just fuck off until shit hits the fan, then you "act" like you care?
5. cure her? you're god? you can cure cancer? .... and how has that ruined your life? You cure her of cancer, but, instead of being happy, you martyr yourself ...
6. you got into a fight with her mother again? Of course, she wants a divorce ... you appear to not care a less about your wife's happiness with her mother. You seem to only be concerned with envy and jealousy.
7. you have an obligation to do whatever your in-laws tell you to do? did you lose your balls in the divorce also? if you have to be granted permission to have next-of-kin rights to your own wife, by her parents ... then you're way more fucked then your little current tirade.
8. if it's the law, then there's nothing you can do ... so long as you're laying there on the ground, so they can wipe their feet. which appears to be a place you elect to be. Since this is your choice, I'm unclear what you expect people in here to tell you.
the only reasonable advice I can give you, under these circumstances of you being a little weenie and not standing up for yourself is ...... move abroad to a country where you will be expected to be a man, don't worry, you'll learn fast how to be one or get beat up .. then using an attorney on
.. then using an attorney on your new land, push for custody. Since you will be out of sight of her, her image will begin to be out of mind. It will come fast for you because you will have a new mission in life, other than being her whipping post. You will be working towards getting your son, who ethically and morally, you should have a legal right to.
...Oh, and I hope you didn't get into too many debts because of the poker.... !
Seriously, OP reminds me of my Egyptian ex in Cairo from years back. It's the same whiny bullshit with doom and gloom depressing shit while he sits entirely oblivious to everything and everyone around him. Me, me, me... No fucking responsibility taken... Ever!
She probably wants to divorce you so she can take the dowry settlement and spend it on cancer treatment!
Egyptian males are little boys underneath. There is no man here. Move along...
She probably wants to divorce you so she can take the dowry settlement and spend it on cancer treatment!
Egyptian males are little boys underneath. There is no man here. Move along...
Posted by P-AngelPosted by RedPoker
1. everything was fine until i knew that her family is more important than me or our marriage..
2. dont actually have a family ... and my wife knew that, she knew that she is everything i've got
3. at first 4 months my mother in law started to put her nose in every tiny details in my home and my personal live and thats when the war started
4. so i started acting to save my marriage and my wife cuz i love her and she was pregnant
5. did everything i could to cure her even while i know that my live is ruined
6. until i had a fight with her mother and then my wife asked for divorce.
7. and when i told them what her doctor said to me as a try to make her family let me live with her in peace and let me stay by her side till the end, they asked for her things and said there is no going back together they wont allow it.
8. if she died and what they will do with my son as her in egypt the kid will stay with her mother. that is the law.
1. this is just you having a pissy fit because you need attention. every person alive values their family more than life itself, so put your big boy pants on and get a fucking grip
2. this is you guilt-tripping her, you expect her to carry your burden for you, and you use the fact that she has a family against her ... what other reason is there for you to make it sound like she should owe you?
3. you participated in creating a "war" with her family. some in-laws done mesh, that's life .. but, you don't throw a hissy fit and start a feud with her mother. It's like you just want drama.
4. you have to act ... you just fuck off until shit hits the fan, then you "act" like you care?
5. cure her? you're god? you can cure cancer? .... and how has that ruined your life? You cure her of cancer, but, instead of being happy, you martyr yourself ...
6. you got into a fight with her mother again? Of course, she wants a divorce ... you appear to not care a less about your wife's happiness with her mother. You seem to only be concerned with envy and jealousy.
7. you have an obligation to do whatever your in-laws tell you to do? did you lose your balls in the divorce also? if you have to be granted permission to have next-of-kin rights to your own wife, by her parents ... then you're way more fucked then your little current tirade.
8. if it's the law, then there's nothing you can do ... so long as you're laying there on the ground, so they can wipe their feet. which appears to be a place you elect to be.
This is so well said @P-Angelclick to expand
Posted by AgentP911
... whiny ... depressing shit ... oblivious to everything .....
I agree 100%
If there is any bit of a clever and action oriented, problem solving personality in him, he'll need to call that part to life.
With this reactive, impulsive and loser attitude he cannot achieve success.
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