I saw my Leo neighbor cheating on his partner my friend and neighbor, what do I do???

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by CocoKat on Saturday, January 2, 2016 and has 118 replies.
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I'm at the local dive bar with my gf and I see my neighbor whos living with his girlfriend, a Taurus (and her young son) *passionately* kissing a another woman. I am very friendly with my neighbor and I care about her yet I have an internal struggle about how to deal with this. FYI, He saw me and I left soon after. What do I do??? Btw, she financially supports him. I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.
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ALSO, she is on the co-op board in my building I don't want to begin an animosity.. she always bragging on him and defending him. I am split on what to do, I'm worried she will see me as the enemy. Help!
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Yeesh... normally I'm an advocate of telling-- esp when the

the one being cheated on is financially supporting the cheater.

I'm still not convinced you shouldn't tell her.

Yes, she may see you as the enemy and he may feed her a line

of bullshit that she will choose to believe... but I would be in knots

keeping it a secret.

Ugh... and she's your friend.

Can you just frame it like: You're my friend, and I know you would

do the same for me-- maybe you two have an arrangement, idk.

bleh, I hate situations like this.

His fault for going in public with it.

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Posted by CocoKat
I'm at the local dive bar with my gf and I see my neighbor whos living with his girlfriend, a Taurus (and her young son) *passionately* kissing a another woman. I am very friendly with my neighbor and I care about her yet I have an internal struggle about how to deal with this. FYI, He saw me and I left soon after. What do I do??? Btw, she financially supports him. I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.


Ask her if she would tell you if she saw your partner cheating.
She must get the drift.

Also everybody, what should come next? Friend will tell her
partner. Cheater will know exactly who told her. What can happen?
Anything...if he loses his feeding hand he night go violent! So...
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Posted by capricornmoon
Do not, I repeat, do not tell her. Let the chips fall where they may. You will regret getting involved, however this this thing ends, if you tell her.



This is my natural inclination as well but I'm not so sure its the right one.
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Posted by Montgomery
Yeesh... normally I'm an advocate of telling-- esp when the

the one being cheated on is financially supporting the cheater.

I'm still not convinced you shouldn't tell her.

Yes, she may see you as the enemy and he may feed her a line

of bullshit that she will choose to believe... but I would be in knots

keeping it a secret.

Ugh... and she's your friend.

Can you just frame it like: You're my friend, and I know you would

do the same for me-- maybe you two have an arrangement, idk.

bleh, I hate situations like this.

His fault for going in public with it.




Montgomery get out of my brain! these are exactly my thoughts...it is his fault, God I wish I didn't see this!!!
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Posted by flowingwater
Wow, who's stupid enough to cheat like that in public?? Lol


Right! Especially in the same neighborhood.. messed up
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Posted by LuckyLibra979
Tell her, that's what id do. My friend was getting cheated on so bad in high school. Everybody knew and never told him but I did I couldn't let my boy go out like that


Yup, I feel her pain. The issue I'm having is whether or not she will believe me. Shes always BRAGGING on him, like hes some saint or something. Every other sentence is like "Joey this.. Joey that, my Joey."
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Tell her! If you were her, would you want to be told?
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Posted by Gemitati
Posted by CocoKat
I'm at the local dive bar with my gf and I see my neighbor whos living with his girlfriend, a Taurus (and her young son) *passionately* kissing a another woman. I am very friendly with my neighbor and I care about her yet I have an internal struggle about how to deal with this. FYI, He saw me and I left soon after. What do I do??? Btw, she financially supports him. I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.


Ask her if she would tell you if she saw your partner cheating.
She must get the drift.




Brilliant idea!

She practically worships him, I think this maybe a good first step, I can get some idea of her possible reaction and how she takes it.
click to expand
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Posted by aquavita8
Tell and ask if they had an arrangement say u not sure how to say this but u saw it and u were surpisred and dint like it but may be she does. U never know I would like to know if I was her. Leos... u are bad. ...



I think I will ask her if they have an arrangement, that would make sense in the least.
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Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMember
Write an anonymous letter to your friend.



another good idea... here. This maybe my 3rd step here.
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Posted by mysteriousTaurus
Tell her! If you were her, would you want to be told?



Yes, I'm not so sure I would believe it though. The personal issue I have is she is on the coop board in my building so if this isn't done properly, there could be damage. I like her but she is that type that goes for the jugular.
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Posted by LuckyLibra979
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by LuckyLibra979
Tell her, that's what id do. My friend was getting cheated on so bad in high school. Everybody knew and never told him but I did I couldn't let my boy go out like that


Yup, I feel her pain. The issue I'm having is whether or not she will believe me. Shes always BRAGGING on him, like hes some saint or something. Every other sentence is like "Joey this.. Joey that, my Joey."



O wow man she may not then if she's that enamored that kind of shit is foul. If you wanna cheat stay single even men can be co dependent smh



Had a friend like that. He uses women up, seeks out the lonely and vulnerable. The one he's with now, he's brought a few girls in and out her house while she was gone, they told her what her house looks like. Smh she asked me what should she do, I told her leave him and do what's best for your family but she didn't, still with him. He got an std and gave it to her, guess who he got it from? Her 20 year old daughter, that's just sad. You've got to be careful these days, even men play the emotional manipulation game and I get disgusted by that behavior
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Yes, I recognize the pattern here.

I would never support a man financially precisely because of this.
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Posted by Jenna77
Posted by LuckyLibra979
Tell her, that's what id do. My friend was getting cheated on so bad in high school. Everybody knew and never told him but I did I couldn't let my boy go out like that


I agree. I know it's complicated but you should tell her. I'd feel awful if I was being cheated on and my friends knew about it and hid it from me.
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Jenna, I'm the same way!

I don't know if she is, so I'm going to test the waters first and then come up with a plan.
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Maybe I'm creepy but I'd take a picture and pretend like I was taking a selfie (Leos totally kno what I'm talking about ayy) and anonymously mail it to her.

Pictures speak a thousand words.

But if you don't run into something like that again a letter should be fine.
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Posted by SassyKiwi
Maybe I'm creepy but I'd take a picture and pretend like I was taking a selfie (Leos totally kno what I'm talking about ayy) and anonymously mail it to her.

Pictures speak a thousand words.

But if you don't run into something like that again a letter should be fine.



Yeah, Im thinking stage 3 is the letter.
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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by SassyKiwi
Maybe I'm creepy but I'd take a picture and pretend like I was taking a selfie (Leos totally kno what I'm talking about ayy) and anonymously mail it to her.

Pictures speak a thousand words.

But if you don't run into something like that again a letter should be fine.



Yeah, Im thinking stage 3 is the letter.
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What's stage 2
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Stage 1... (Thanks Gemitati) Ask if she would tell if she saw someones partner cheating and how she would feel if someone saw her partner cheating. (check response, temper and mental outlook before proceeding)

Stage 2...(Thanks Aquavita8) Find out if they have some sort of "arrangement."

I may switch the steps above, not sure yet.

Stage 3...If the answers to above questions are reasonable (which I doubt) and she doesn't fly off the handle I may tell her (OR)

(Thanks Yourfavoritedxpmember and Sassykiwi) Write letter.


(((SIGH)))

My virgoan mind is hoping this plan works. Im really not good at this kinda stuff. Hurting people is so offputting and stressful to me.
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Posted by capricornmoon
Posted by LuckyLibra979
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by LuckyLibra979
Tell her, that's what id do. My friend was getting cheated on so bad in high school. Everybody knew and never told him but I did I couldn't let my boy go out like that


Yup, I feel her pain. The issue I'm having is whether or not she will believe me. Shes always BRAGGING on him, like hes some saint or something. Every other sentence is like "Joey this.. Joey that, my Joey."



O wow man she may not then if she's that enamored that kind of shit is foul. If you wanna cheat stay single even men can be co dependent smh



Had a friend like that. He uses women up, seeks out the lonely and vulnerable. The one he's with now, he's brought a few girls in and out her house while she was gone, they told her what her house looks like. Smh she asked me what should she do, I told her leave him and do what's best for your family but she didn't, still with him. He got an std and gave it to her, guess who he got it from? Her 20 year old daughter, that's just sad. You've got to be careful these days, even men play the emotional manipulation game and I get disgusted by that behavior


Eww, that's just nasty. I would beat her ass then run him over.
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All this mental stress, this is how Im beginning to feel with these dopes.
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Posted by SensitiveBlues
She's not going to leave him! She'll just hate you!

I wouldn't bother! And how great is a guy who doesn't work? Sounds completely useless



This is my fear.
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Posted by Scruffles
I dunno but if you're questioning what her reaction might be and the possibility of her seeing you as an enemy and potentially making where you live an uncomfortable environment... do yourself a favor and don't get involved. : /

Sounds like she's more of an acquaintance to you rather than a close friend. I think it's in your own best interest not to tell her and mind your own business. I only say this because if she was really a good friend of yours, you would have already told her.

Granted, it's an awkward position to be in but your neighbors' lives aren't your concern. Besides, if he's shitting where he eats... she will find out on her own sooner rather than later.


She has been enough of a friend where Im stressed about what to do and if we where any closer the issue would be magnified and I still would struggle with how/when or if I should tell her, but that's coming from my perspective.
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Posted by Nevermore
Posted by Scruffles
I dunno but if you're questioning what her reaction might be and the possibility of her seeing you as an enemy and potentially making where you live an uncomfortable environment... do yourself a favor and don't get involved. : /

Sounds like she's more of an acquaintance to you rather than a close friend. I think it's in your own best interest not to tell her and mind your own business. I only say this because if she was really a good friend of yours, you would have already told her.

Granted, it's an awkward position to be in but your neighbors' lives aren't your concern. Besides, if he's shitting where he eats... she will find out on her own sooner rather than later.

This. It's not our business of their problems. No matter that you wanted to help them, just.. don't. You know their story, just don't get involved. Straight Face
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I know just enough to put me in the uncomfortable seat.

I may not end up saying anything, my Scorpio man is holding onto the silence is golden philosophy.

much to my detriment I am a mercurial mutable and subject to change ; (

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Posted by SensitiveBlues
Hey overanaltical drama oriented Virgo. Stfu! It's none of your business! Mind your own!





I take care of her kid a lot and have a lot of concern for him (the kid) and her, if this where someone I barely knew I would be in full agreement 100% .
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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Montgomery
Yeesh... normally I'm an advocate of telling-- esp when the

the one being cheated on is financially supporting the cheater.

I'm still not convinced you shouldn't tell her.

Yes, she may see you as the enemy and he may feed her a line

of bullshit that she will choose to believe... but I would be in knots

keeping it a secret.

Ugh... and she's your friend.

Can you just frame it like: You're my friend, and I know you would

do the same for me-- maybe you two have an arrangement, idk.

bleh, I hate situations like this.

His fault for going in public with it.




Montgomery get out of my brain! these are exactly my thoughts...it is his fault, God I wish I didn't see this!!!
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Hmm... what if you don't mention the other woman at all?

What if you just tell her that you missed her the other night up at Le Shitty Bar?

When she gives you the WTF Look... just say something like

Yeah, we saw ______ (her pos bf) up there last Saturday, and we were hoping to

see you too -- I'll call you next time we're going smile

Her imagination will take care of the rest.

She can ask questions if she wants... if she doesn't, you're off the hook.


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Posted by xoxoRain
If you really really wanted to tell her. I'd go for an anonymous letter.
But you do have to realize it isn't your business to "help" another's relationship unless they asked for it.
If you told her directly, she'd probably get angry at first, than thankful for knowing the truth. But still, angry. Than it would be a lot of drama between yall 3 if u told her directly.
I'm a taurus dating a leo guy, and I'm imagining how I'd react.
But truthfully, Leo's are good at hiding their "discretions" & they'll get defensive fast if someone tries to soil their good name. Even if you told her, he'd find a way to manipulate it so he'd come out looking innocent.

This thread makes me sad kinda..
I'm a bull dating a leo.
Longterm relationship at that.
:-/


I think y'all are crazy... I would want to know.

The idea that its nicer to let someone be talked about

and pitied with no power to do anything is ridiculous--

and really its just to spare your own hide.

Life is too short for that shit.


No offense intended xoxox.


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♡
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Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Montgomery
Yeesh... normally I'm an advocate of telling-- esp when the

the one being cheated on is financially supporting the cheater.

I'm still not convinced you shouldn't tell her.

Yes, she may see you as the enemy and he may feed her a line

of bullshit that she will choose to believe... but I would be in knots

keeping it a secret.

Ugh... and she's your friend.

Can you just frame it like: You're my friend, and I know you would

do the same for me-- maybe you two have an arrangement, idk.

bleh, I hate situations like this.

His fault for going in public with it.




Montgomery get out of my brain! these are exactly my thoughts...it is his fault, God I wish I didn't see this!!!


Hmm... what if you don't mention the other woman at all?

What if you just tell her that you missed her the other night up at Le Shitty Bar?

When she gives you the WTF Look... just say something like

Yeah, we saw ______ (her pos bf) up there last Saturday, and we were hoping to

see you too -- I'll call you next time we're going smile

Her imagination will take care of the rest.

She can ask questions if she wants... if she doesn't, you're off the hook.



click to expand


This is really good.
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Posted by xoxoRain
If you really really wanted to tell her. I'd go for an anonymous letter.
But you do have to realize it isn't your business to "help" another's relationship unless they asked for it.
If you told her directly, she'd probably get angry at first, than thankful for knowing the truth. But still, angry. Than it would be a lot of drama between yall 3 if u told her directly.
I'm a taurus dating a leo guy, and I'm imagining how I'd react.
But truthfully, Leo's are good at hiding their "discretions" & they'll get defensive fast if someone tries to soil their good name. Even if you told her, he'd find a way to manipulate it so he'd come out looking innocent.

This thread makes me sad kinda..
I'm a bull dating a leo.
Longterm relationship at that.
:-/



yeah, I think you're right that's what he would do.

I know a lot of bulls and lions happy together, I think hes just the bad boy, lazy, philandering type.
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Posted by xoxoRain
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by xoxoRain
If you really really wanted to tell her. I'd go for an anonymous letter.
But you do have to realize it isn't your business to "help" another's relationship unless they asked for it.
If you told her directly, she'd probably get angry at first, than thankful for knowing the truth. But still, angry. Than it would be a lot of drama between yall 3 if u told her directly.
I'm a taurus dating a leo guy, and I'm imagining how I'd react.
But truthfully, Leo's are good at hiding their "discretions" & they'll get defensive fast if someone tries to soil their good name. Even if you told her, he'd find a way to manipulate it so he'd come out looking innocent.

This thread makes me sad kinda..
I'm a bull dating a leo.
Longterm relationship at that.
:-/


I think y'all are crazy... I would want to know.

The idea that its nicer to let someone be talked about

and pitied with no power to do anything is ridiculous--

and really its just to spare your own hide.

Life is too short for that shit.


No offense intended xoxox.





Never said i wouldn't want to know hun. Just said from my perspective I'd get angry from knowing. From taurus perspective. Mostly anger because to find out the guy i love is cheating. It's messy.

But i digress.
No offense taken luv xoxo
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this is what I'm afraid of.
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Whats your sign, CocoKat?

Sun & moon
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Posted by dewiklaessen1991
Posted by CocoKat
I'm at the local dive bar with my gf and I see my neighbor whos living with his girlfriend, a Taurus (and her young son) *passionately* kissing a another woman. I am very friendly with my neighbor and I care about her yet I have an internal struggle about how to deal with this. FYI, He saw me and I left soon after. What do I do??? Btw, she financially supports him. I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.

Leo got bored Taurus are not very existing must explain it I would not do anything because if you get between it maybe you get into a fight
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this maybe true which is why If I say something it wont be direct, I'm thinking maybe I'll take Montgomery's advice here. She at least needs to have the opportunity to find out. I would want to know for sure and if someone I was friends with knew and didn't tell me that would piss me off to know end.
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Posted by Montgomery
Whats your sign, CocoKat?

Sun & moon




Virgo (both).

Probably why I'm so conflicted, my whole day is shot.
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Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by CocoKat
Posted by Montgomery
Yeesh... normally I'm an advocate of telling-- esp when the

the one being cheated on is financially supporting the cheater.

I'm still not convinced you shouldn't tell her.

Yes, she may see you as the enemy and he may feed her a line

of bullshit that she will choose to believe... but I would be in knots

keeping it a secret.

Ugh... and she's your friend.

Can you just frame it like: You're my friend, and I know you would

do the same for me-- maybe you two have an arrangement, idk.

bleh, I hate situations like this.

His fault for going in public with it.




Montgomery get out of my brain! these are exactly my thoughts...it is his fault, God I wish I didn't see this!!!


Hmm... what if you don't mention the other woman at all?

What if you just tell her that you missed her the other night up at Le Shitty Bar?

When she gives you the WTF Look... just say something like

Yeah, we saw ______ (her pos bf) up there last Saturday, and we were hoping to

see you too -- I'll call you next time we're going smile

Her imagination will take care of the rest.

She can ask questions if she wants... if she doesn't, you're off the hook.





This is really good.
click to expand

Ooo I think that's better

What others have said is true too, I've seen Taurus women loyal beyond deserving to the other party. I feel it's easy for them to get blinded because they have big hearts.

She won't leave him until she's figured things out herself. They're stubborn like that.

Since he saw you leave and you wouldn't have solid evidence, just your words, even done anonymously, the Leo might twist it and turn it all to water plus you becoming an enemy.

But it wouldn't be wrong to be sly as Montgomery mentioned!
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Posted by SensitiveBlues
She's not going to leave him! She'll just hate you!

I wouldn't bother! And how great is a guy who doesn't work? Sounds completely useless


Good dick... That's all. Sad
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Tell her. Period. Stop thinking about it and just do it youre not going to kill anyone by doing so. He literally did this to himself and did it in public. She deserves to know and will thank you later.
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My scorp is flip flopping too. Hes also close with her son and he keeps calling me hes really worried now about both of them. He thinks being indirect will just cause confusion, in true plutonian fashion he's all or nothing about this so Ive decided to let it go for today and tomorrow come to a decision about this. SingaSong (fellow Infj!) I agree with you I would be really pissed if my friend knew and didn't tell me. I may have my scorp with me if I do decide to tell her, she tends to trust men a lot so Idk. Will keep everyone updated tomorrow.
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Posted by Redbull
Posted by dewiklaessen1991
@CocoKat I know alot of Taurus who have been cheated on because they are most of the time too busy with work/money they are stubborn materialistic and it is a sign that doesn't see anything until it happens to them


But, there is truth here in this statement. I dont have time to date. Im focusing on me. Having a house with no mortgage and getting my career and affairs together is more of a priority. Its a comfort reduced stress type life Im attracted to. Just honest statement attracting women is easy. It just happens without trying. So job one is getting me right. And then Im not taking care of anyone and putting myself in a position to be someone people can and feel its the thing to do to take advantage of. So who knows what the woman described is about.

Then if you tell her she will probably bring it up to him, he'll put 2 and 2 together and realize you are the one who saw him...but personally I would rather know regardless. Also its how you say things.
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Posted by dewiklaessen1991
Still * if you can only think about yourself then that's selfish nothing wrong with being selfish but not all the time love should also give you extra support and make you feel even better



I agree where Virgo, Taurus, Cancer, possibly Pisces or Cap best backup support for home and life building, we like these things.
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Posted by CocoKat
My scorp is flip flopping too. Hes also close with her son and he keeps calling me hes really worried now about both of them. He thinks being indirect will just cause confusion, in true plutonian fashion he's all or nothing about this so Ive decided to let it go for today and tomorrow come to a decision about this. SingaSong (fellow Infj!) I agree with you I would be really pissed if my friend knew and didn't tell me. I may have my scorp with me if I do decide to tell her, she tends to trust men a lot so Idk. Will keep everyone updated tomorrow.



Well... ?


And I like the idea of taking your other half with you.

Good call.


smile
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I'm not surprised. This kinda stuff I usually expect out of Taurus and Leo couples.
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Send her a letter anonymously
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I also know a Leo who is cheating on a Taurus woman. He manages a hotel and even brings the other woman there where his employees at night are aware of what he is doing. It's like they don't care who sees! But anywho I wouldn't say a word bc it's none of my business. Eventually the truth always comes out on its own.
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Well I did it. I told her last night.

She was very upset but not with me (surprisingly).

She told me she had a feeling something was off and she wasn't too happy with Leo's behavior lately and felt something wrong even though he was acting normal and even nice, she thanked me for telling her the truth.

I told her if she needed to talk I'm here.

Shes not sure what shes going to do next but I will update everyone.

I think she is planning on leaving, my scorp thinks she will stay.

Leos have a way about them and are very convincing, but she seems to me a confident woman by the way she took everything in, so lets see.

I'm glad I told her, it was the right thing for me to do in this case.



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He got home late last night and there was soo much screaming, breaking things for 2 hours before he left again.


Lets see...
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It's none of your business ... so keep your gossipy self to yourself
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Posted by CocoKat

Btw, she financially supports him.




You don't know that. You know that is what you are told.

Secondly, that has absolutely nothing to do with him kissing another woman.

So, since you mentioned it, you must believe that finances are a condition of kissing another woman.

It makes the suggestion that if he supported himself, then it's ok to kiss another woman.

How absurd, and goes to prove that you only wanted to gossip.


Posted by CocoKat

I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.

click to expand


You have no clue as the level of "into" that other have for each other. you even say at the end here, "obviously this is not the case" .... as if you decide what is real for other people.

You sound like a control freak, and maybe this person did it on purpose, just to prove to the other how much you stick your nose into their business.

You have no clue what is the case here, but, look at your ass ...... you made conclusions, as if you are personally involved and then came to gossip about it.


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Posted by CocoKat
I'm at the local dive bar with my gf and I see my neighbor whos living with his girlfriend, a Taurus (and her young son) *passionately* kissing a another woman. I am very friendly with my neighbor and I care about her yet I have an internal struggle about how to deal with this. FYI, He saw me and I left soon after. What do I do??? Btw, she financially supports him. I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.


He's feeding his wife a line to keep the support coming. You have no idea what's really happening in their relationship. Only the two in the relationship know the truth.

However, from what I have seen with other couples who have this dynamic--the financially supportive wife/the husband who cheats--its the wife that is insecure and most likely slightly clingy to the relationship. The husband doesn't find her attractive in bed anymore and the wife hopes her financial support will keep him in the house. She actually might give her husband unspoken passes on the cheating due to her insecurity. You bringing anything up could upset an otherwise very shaky applecart. You have no idea what revealing that would do. I wouldn't say a thing. Let the couple deal with their own business, know what I mean?
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Posted by CocoKat
He got home late last night and there was soo much screaming, breaking things for 2 hours before he left again.


Lets see...


Too late, I see. I hope you are proud of yourself. She's not even a very good friend but you had absolutely no problem sticking your nose into this. What the actual fuck?

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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by CocoKat

Btw, she financially supports him.




You don't know that. You know that is what you are told.

Secondly, that has absolutely nothing to do with him kissing another woman.

So, since you mentioned it, you must believe that finances are a condition of kissing another woman.

It makes the suggestion that if he supported himself, then it's ok to kiss another woman.

How absurd, and goes to prove that you only wanted to gossip.


Posted by CocoKat

I'm upset because he always seemed so INTO her and in LOVE with her and obviously this is not the case.



You have no clue as the level of "into" that other have for each other. you even say at the end here, "obviously this is not the case" .... as if you decide what is real for other people.

You sound like a control freak, and maybe this person did it on purpose, just to prove to the other how much you stick your nose into their business.

You have no clue what is the case here, but, look at your ass ...... you made conclusions, as if you are personally involved and then came to gossip about it.



click to expand




First of all, no I'm not gossipy. She is my friend.

Second, she told me she supports him.

My conclusions are based on facts... sorry p-angel if real life is to hard for you to swallow and the truth sometimes hurts.

You're conclusions are as clueless as you are, I came here for advice on how and/or what to do from someone with half a brain in their head not your imaginary, close minded and flat out stupid idea of how I should conform to your idea of how to be and what to do.
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