I was too late...

Profile picture of TigerCap
TigerCap
@TigerCap
13 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 14 · Posts: 1482 · Topics: 13
Posted by Poisson
Also understand, if you are good friends with her, you confess your feelings and she ends up rejecting you, you also risk your friendship.... which might or might not be of consequence.

But for this 5 years, you haven't been able to find a woman? Were you comparing potential mates to her knowing you have this unrequited love and they never quite match up? You know you're the only one holding yourself back.


Fear makes people dishonest. It will keep them lying to themselves, hoping things get better or at least not worse if they don't face it one way or another.

But even worse for a friendship, it also mean you can never be 100% honest if it really comes down to it.
And it gets even worse if the other person, his friend, actually suspects it.

I've had a really good female friend suspect me of being in love with her when people started asking her. I didn't even consider it because she had a boyfriend and like BrooksSamsonite that is like an instant unconcious concrete roadblock for my emotions.
But the suggestion and my complete unpreparedness for the question brought an end to the mutual feeling of trust we had.

So my advice to OP:
Lose the fear. Stop caring about the possible results, be honest with yourself and pick your poison:

1. Be the asshole that made her break up with her boyfriend by expressing his love for her.
2. Be the asshole that was lying acting like a friend while actually trying to get into her pants.
3. Stop lying to yourself, telling that she might... if only... and say goodbye and move on.

P.s. Poisson, this is not directed at you. You are actually saying it in a much more polite way but I am tired. That usually makes me ramble, and brutally honest with people.
Profile picture of WaterCup
WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Posted by everevolvingepithet
Posted by tiziani
Who cares what other people think? If someone loves you, no one else can take them away. So you might as well find out the truth and settle the matter.

Always did find the story of Sven Goran Eriksson and Nancy Del'Ollio fascinating. Walked into the Lazio shareholders' meeting on to tell his own boss that he had feelings for his wife and that was that. I think Sven is a Pisces Moon.


Shit, did he really? that takes balls!
click to expand




aquas are born with balls 😛
Profile picture of firebunny
firebunny
@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 16295 · Topics: 1686
Posted by Poisson
Also understand, if you are good friends with her, you confess your feelings and she ends up rejecting you, you also risk your friendship.... which might or might not be of consequence.

But for this 5 years, you haven't been able to find a woman? Were you comparing potential mates to her knowing you have this unrequited love and they never quite match up? You know you're the only one holding yourself back.



Can't resist commenting about this. I'm the kind of guy who would commit for long and would only commit with someone I would eventually marry. Yes, I have compared potential mates with her. Over the years, I just can't find a better match. But what could I do? I always end up loving her MORE than the girls I've met. @_@

At one point, I have entered into a relationship just because I didn't know what LOVE really is and that girl LOVES me sooo much so I kind of experimented. Besides, I love being loved. I ended our relationship in about four months. I want TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. @_@

I have already expressed my feelings to her... so many many times. I even created three songs just for her. I sang my songs in front of her but I didn't say at first that she was the very person the songs are addressed to. But after few days, I called her up and told her that the girl in my songs is she. She just said, "ok," devoid of any emotions and as if she already know! She wasn't even surprised! But despite all these, we're still good friends... and we still hang out with our other friends but she's very very smart, she always tag along her boyfriend. Her boyfriend seems nice and he knows I love Trina. Oh my God, I can;t resist mentioning her name. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER DOWN TO HER VERY NAME!!!!!!!!

I'm already content with her being just a friend. That's really just enough for me. My big problem is that, I just can't find someone that I will LOVE more. And it's been 5 years... 5 long years... I have met and dated other girls. A lot of them. But I always end up feeling that no one compares... She's my BABY, MY LITTLE GIRL... I'm not sad whenever I say these things. I'm just happy to have met her in my life. We still talk over the phone every now and then...
Profile picture of TigerCap
TigerCap
@TigerCap
13 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 14 · Posts: 1482 · Topics: 13
So Firebunny, since option 1 didn't work, that leaves us with the following:

1. Be the asshole that made her break up with her boyfriend by expressing his love for her.
2. Be the asshole that was lying acting like a friend while actually trying to get into her pants.
3. Stop lying to yourself, telling that she might... if only... and say goodbye and move on.



The way she responded means it ain't gonna happen. Ever.

I could be mistaken but it seems like she enjoys your company because you give her attention, listen to her and buy her stuff.
Get a grip on yourself before it turns into an obsession or you will eventually harm the girl or something.

Being nice does not grant you someone's love or make you deserve something more.
Profile picture of PhoenixRising
PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by tiziani


If she's happily devoted to this other guy, then she'll give him the appropriate answer when he asks. But he at least has to ask first. If I'm understanding correctly, he's had feelings for this girl for 5 years? He should just propose straight up, in broad daylight in front of them both. Get the answers you need to resolve the issue.



Hmph...:
Profile picture of firebunny
firebunny
@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 16295 · Topics: 1686
Posted by TigerCap
So Firebunny, since option 1 didn't work, that leaves us with the following:

1. Be the asshole that made her break up with her boyfriend by expressing his love for her.
2. Be the asshole that was lying acting like a friend while actually trying to get into her pants.
3. Stop lying to yourself, telling that she might... if only... and say goodbye and move on.



The way she responded means it ain't gonna happen. Ever.

I could be mistaken but it seems like she enjoys your company because you give her attention, listen to her and buy her stuff.
Get a grip on yourself before it turns into an obsession or you will eventually harm the girl or something.

Being nice does not grant you someone's love or make you deserve something more.
click to expand




you mean, i should avoid her from now on? that'll completely make me SAD... 😢
Profile picture of TigerCap
TigerCap
@TigerCap
13 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Comments: 14 · Posts: 1482 · Topics: 13
It's one of the possibilities, yes.

We are just here to give you a realitycheck; to take the step back and help you decide without emotions involved. Because it seems like they do hinder you from seeing what's going on and how you are acting.

The fear of losing her should not limit you in finding the truth about yourself, as hard as that can be.

Whatever you end up doing, this has to be your decision.
Profile picture of firebunny
firebunny
@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 16295 · Topics: 1686
Posted by TigerCap
It's one of the possibilities, yes.

We are just here to give you a realitycheck; to take the step back and help you decide without emotions involved. Because it seems like they do hinder you from seeing what's going on and how you are acting.

The fear of losing her should not limit you in finding the truth about yourself, as hard as that can be.

Whatever you end up doing, this has to be your decision.



she's my very very close friend. i am not ready to lose our friendship. i guess i'll just continue what i'm doing: teasing her, telling her how cute she is, and just have fun with her while she's around! i won't pursue her anymore. i'm a bit content with being just a friend. still, she's my little sister, which is awesome. 🙂
Profile picture of firebunny
firebunny
@firebunny
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 99 · Posts: 16295 · Topics: 1686
Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Posted by firebunny
Posted by AriesIntrovert16
She is not your baby and she's not your little girl. That's just creepy of you to say.. And I've said some pretty creepy things.



SHE'S MY BABY! AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!!


LULZ.



Of course you do.
click to expand




hah?! you're an immature teenager, how well can you people-read—!!! LOL

>>> of course, i'm just over-acting. it's part of all the drama, miss aries. 😉