Ladies - would you go All Out to get a guy, and give him everything?
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by pooface222 on Friday, July 24, 2020 and has 95 replies.
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Cont'd
And I felt insecure too.
So it all fell apart.
Along with my marriage sadly
So what I'm trying to say is that if you net someone else who you really loved, would you leave your marriage and life etc and go all out for a guy, just for him to move into yours?
Just wondering..
And I felt insecure too.
So it all fell apart.
Along with my marriage sadly
So what I'm trying to say is that if you net someone else who you really loved, would you leave your marriage and life etc and go all out for a guy, just for him to move into yours?
Just wondering..
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
Cont'd
I got insecure for the same reason. And I tried to explain that if he rents a flat etc we can see each other freely, no cheating etc.
I wasnt earning much but was looking for more work anyway but..
While he had a good job and loved me, he could leave first - seeing as him and his partner are not even married etc - and we can have an honest relationship!
But ..it all fell apart, along with my narriage
I got insecure for the same reason. And I tried to explain that if he rents a flat etc we can see each other freely, no cheating etc.
I wasnt earning much but was looking for more work anyway but..
While he had a good job and loved me, he could leave first - seeing as him and his partner are not even married etc - and we can have an honest relationship!
But ..it all fell apart, along with my narriage
So..
Would you go all out for a guy you wanted?
Would you go all out for a guy you wanted?
Posted by MaraiDid you read my entire post?
Depends on his intention and what his plan is with me. But I wouldn't just sacrifice all the years and memories just for a guy, especially if its a good marriage.
When did you meet your guy?
My internet went funny and seemed to erase it then it appeared again.
I met him 6yrs ago.
My marriage was to a very controlling man but we had a great life together.
Was tricky.
He was a good provider but an emotional bully!
Why would you not leave first and then work on yourself? Do you need to go from the frying pan to the fire? Because that’s what this sounds like.
I would give my all to someone but they would have to be worth it. I wouldn’t leave one for another because I’m a believer in processing one relationship before continuing with another.
I would give my all to someone but they would have to be worth it. I wouldn’t leave one for another because I’m a believer in processing one relationship before continuing with another.
Posted by sweetheartsI wish I could do that. Sadly I cant.
Why would you not leave first and then work on yourself? Do you need to go from the frying pan to the fire? Because that’s what this sounds like.
I would give my all to someone but they would have to be worth it. I wouldn’t leave one for another because I’m a believer in processing one relationship before continuing with another.
I've recently discovered I have depression and have had it for most of my life..since about 14. I'm 43 now.
So if i leave a rship and be alone, I get very depressed if I'm alone for too long. I do keep myself busy but sometimes it gets too much to the point that I'm just doing stuff for the sake of it.
The only thing that keeps me afloat is being in a rship and loving and being loved and sharing my life with someone.
It makes me truly happy.
Ok i also love my job, my friends, learning new things, movies, music..
But when I'm not doing any of that, its love & rships ❤
Posted by MaraiI know. Exactly right!Posted by pooface222Posted by Marai
Depends on his intention and what his plan is with me. But I wouldn't just sacrifice all the years and memories just for a guy, especially if its a good marriage.
When did you meet your guy?
Did you read my entire post?
My internet went funny and seemed to erase it then it appeared again.
I met him 6yrs ago.
My marriage was to a very controlling man but we had a great life together.
Was tricky.
He was a good provider but an emotional bully!
"Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me."
No. Just NO... He wants to jump from one RS to the other without making any effort for it.
You're divorced now right? Wait for him to leave his situation and sort his shit out, and THEN... You can see other and date. Wtf.click to expand
He is still with her 4yrs after his divorce but now he's going off to another location here in uk, to live with his son of 20 who is studying there 😪
I don't know if he is leaving his partner and living with his son. Or staying with her, spending time with his son then seeing me in secret still!
Or what??
He has bought a house for his son to live in, and will share the mortgage together. But wtf about me?
And Yes I am divorced so I'm free and so is he - technically - seeing as he just lives in her house.
More dets from her other thread...
Uh wtf is this. He is just looking for the next bitch to be his sugar mama that takes him in which is why he wasn’t taking any initiative to move out first. Guess the last lady finally came to her senses and kicked him out therefore now he’s moved in with his son.
He’s a complete dead beat with nothing but empty words and you want to go all out for him?!
You must really want to end up living in misery.
Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
Uh wtf is this. He is just looking for the next bitch to be his sugar mama that takes him in which is why he wasn’t taking any initiative to move out first. Guess the last lady finally came to her senses and kicked him out therefore now he’s moved in with his son.
He’s a complete dead beat with nothing but empty words and you want to go all out for him?!
You must really want to end up living in misery.
The guy must have a really big... wallet
I’ve done that in the past but wouldn’t again. I used to have relationships back to back without a break in between for fear of loneliness but found that didn’t work in the longrun
Instead I decided to learn to love my own company so if I do decide to be in a rship again, I’ll be in a more balanced and healthier place
Instead I decided to learn to love my own company so if I do decide to be in a rship again, I’ll be in a more balanced and healthier place
Its hard to imagine what decisions I'd make in that scenario.
But leaving a marriage to live immediately with a new romantic partner doesn't seem like the best choice. One entanglement for another. No thanks.
I'd want to breath and enjoy the freedom for a moment first.
But leaving a marriage to live immediately with a new romantic partner doesn't seem like the best choice. One entanglement for another. No thanks.
I'd want to breath and enjoy the freedom for a moment first.
Posted by SassyKiwiNo. I'm just asking the question.
More dets from her other thread...Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
Uh wtf is this. He is just looking for the next bitch to be his sugar mama that takes him in which is why he wasn’t taking any initiative to move out first. Guess the last lady finally came to her senses and kicked him out therefore now he’s moved in with his son.
He’s a complete dead beat with nothing but empty words and you want to go all out for him?!
You must really want to end up living in misery.click to expand
I've lost my marriage for thus guy. He us WORSE than my husband!
My husband at least had loads of redeeming qualities, like Committment, Providing, cooked and cleaned with me, never sat on his ass as we did things together, paid for holidays every year..shame is was son controlling.
Posted by LadyNeptuneSure..i understand but the marriage was already over and we weren't talking and were sleeping in separate rooms
Its hard to imagine what decisions I'd make in that scenario.
But leaving a marriage to live immediately with a new romantic partner doesn't seem like the best choice. One entanglement for another. No thanks.
I'd want to breath and enjoy the freedom for a moment first.
Posted by pooface222Which is an excellent reason to leave your failed marriage.Posted by LadyNeptune
Its hard to imagine what decisions I'd make in that scenario.
But leaving a marriage to live immediately with a new romantic partner doesn't seem like the best choice. One entanglement for another. No thanks.
I'd want to breath and enjoy the freedom for a moment first.
Sure..i understand but the marriage was already over and we weren't talking and were sleeping in separate roomsclick to expand
Not much a reason to jump into living with a new romantic partner though...
Be by yourself first, rent a small studio space or 1 bd for a year before getting a mortgage with someone new or adding your name to their lease etc.
Being in a bad relationship that you thought would be the end all, be all, means your probably in a strange head space and might not be the best judge of character when it comes to another relationship.
Get some space and room to breath. evaluate what this other dude brings to your life.
Its not unreasonable to live apart for a year before jumping in with both feet. See how the relationship dynamic shifts now that you aren't married and juggling a husband and bf. If he's pressuring you to jump from your marriage home into living with him right away, its fairly selfish if your not 100% comfortable with the timing on that transition.
Posted by rabidtalkerHe DOES 😉
The guy must have a really big... wallet
And I don't mean his cash !
Posted by Dreamy88In what way?
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
He's a cuckoo!
Reminds me of an article about a man who once swore to never buy a home and pay a mortgage. He was not into renting either. His plan was to exclusively date women who owned a home, and to move in with them after a few weeks. He prefered divorcees who took their ex husbands to the cleaners....in this way, he got to live in a larger home and had no remorse whatsoever. I think he was doing quite well....
Reminds me of an article about a man who once swore to never buy a home and pay a mortgage. He was not into renting either. His plan was to exclusively date women who owned a home, and to move in with them after a few weeks. He prefered divorcees who took their ex husbands to the cleaners....in this way, he got to live in a larger home and had no remorse whatsoever. I think he was doing quite well....
Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
Posted by UndineKudos to men who play the game well, if these dim suckers fall for it then they deserve each other
He's a cuckoo!
Reminds me of an article about a man who once swore to never buy a home and pay a mortgage. He was not into renting either. His plan was to exclusively date women who owned a home, and to move in with them after a few weeks. He prefered divorcees who took their ex husbands to the cleaners....in this way, he got to live in a larger home and had no remorse whatsoever. I think he was doing quite well....
Posted by pooface222lolPosted by rabidtalker
The guy must have a really big... wallet
He DOES 😉
And I don't mean his cash !click to expand
Posted by pooface222this is a really important question to me:Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..click to expand
was he a pisces sun/libra moon?
Posted by 7thHouseI was thinking that myself actually.
Is this serious? Lol
Honestly, the guy is sleazy. He's only looking after himself. He won't leave his partner because you won't leave yours. He lives with his partner and he didn't wanna take any risk himself. I'd say he's a joke. U sure this guys not a gigolo?
That he might be a gigolo!
Posted by virgoOPPPHe's a Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon...Posted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
this is a really important question to me:
was he a pisces sun/libra moon?click to expand
Why is it an important question?
Posted by PulsySo that he can live off me, like he lives off his partner.
Why does he want u to get flat first
Someone else in here said he wants a Sugar Mama. I think that's true.
Posted by pooface222well this is awkward nevermindPosted by virgoOPPPPosted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
this is a really important question to me:
was he a pisces sun/libra moon?
He's a Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon...
Why is it an important question?click to expand
but my answer to the OP title is yes
Posted by Dreamy88I am so very glad you said that xxPosted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
Just the two couples in their own relationships having their own set of problems, but finding love and solace in each other. I mean yes it's cheating, but they're happy together. It's kind of like seeing the other side of a story because you always see views of the other side. The side that is being cheated and fed up or not complacent.click to expand
And it takes a Pisces to understand what I'm saying.
I don't mean the others here dont understand; they understand differently.
But you understand Exactly what I'm talking about.
This is what I'm saying.
2 people in unhappy rships find solace in each other and fall in love.
I find it romantic too..
The worry for me though is that he seemed to want me to do everything even though he had a huge salary and lump sum from his divorce and could have left his partner for me, at any time.
Instead he stayed and cheated because i wasn't leaving.
Posted by virgoOPPPWhy is it awkward??Posted by pooface222Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
this is a really important question to me:
was he a pisces sun/libra moon?
He's a Pisces Sun, Virgo Moon...
Why is it an important question?
well this is awkward nevermind
but my answer to the OP title is yesclick to expand
Posted by tizianiI have seen it.Posted by Dreamy88Posted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
Just the two couples in their own relationships having their own set of problems, but finding love and solace in each other. I mean yes it's cheating, but they're happy together. It's kind of like seeing the other side of a story because you always see views of the other side. The side that is being cheated and fed up or not complacent.
have you not seen Lost In Translation? It's basically what re-started off this whole genreclick to expand
Years ago when it first came out.
I can barely remember it now.
Posted by nadiasweetieEven if it meant You provide him with a home (eg its Yours but he moves in), while you earn less than him? It means you leaving your husband first, with the risk that he might not leave his partner to be with you.
I probably would go all out to get a guy 😂as far as how far nothing illegal or morally corrupt.
That's what I'm asking.
This can can easily afford a place, even if small and cosy but is expecting you to provide, like you're some kind of Sugar Mummy.
Posted by PulsyGreat answer!
I’d go all out but I’d expect him to go all out too.
And at the same time. Not one of you, then the other!
Together!
Posted by nadiasweetieCool.Posted by pooface222Posted by nadiasweetie
I probably would go all out to get a guy 😂as far as how far nothing illegal or morally corrupt.
Even if it meant You provide him with a home (eg its Yours but he moves in), while you earn less than him? It means you leaving your husband first, with the risk that he might not leave his partner to be with you.
That's what I'm asking.
This can can easily afford a place, even if small and cosy but is expecting you to provide, like you're some kind of Sugar Mummy.
That’s not getting a man that’s a boy I don’t want a boy lolclick to expand
Thats what I meant.
That's what was happening with this guy. Loved him to bits but at 50, he's more like a boy wanting his mummy.
😳
Posted by tizianiPosted by Dreamy88Posted by pooface222Posted by Dreamy88
This oddly sounds/feels romantic to me
In what way?
Tell me.
You're a Pisces aren't you. The guy here is a Pisces too..
Just the two couples in their own relationships having their own set of problems, but finding love and solace in each other. I mean yes it's cheating, but they're happy together. It's kind of like seeing the other side of a story because you always see views of the other side. The side that is being cheated and fed up or not complacent.
have you not seen Lost In Translation? It's basically what re-started off this whole genreclick to expand
Haaaha. That was a cute movie tho.
Posted by IsoldeI'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?click to expand
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
Posted by pooface222If I met a broke guy today, I wouldn’t give him a chance. I felt like a sugar momma in the past with one bf and I hated the burden and how lazy he was to not even try to get a job. I’m prefer a guy who’s half-half with everything. However, if I was already in love and something happened where the guy needed to lean on me, then of course.
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
Posted by pinkbird03I was hoping someone would say what you just said.Posted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
If I met a broke guy today, I wouldn’t give him a chance. I felt like a sugar momma in the past with one bf and I hated the burden and how lazy he was to not even try to get a job. I’m prefer a guy who’s half-half with everything. However, if I was already in love and something happened where the guy needed to lean on me, then of course.click to expand
You see he had a full time job, but was married but separated (with a teenage son), and paying the mortgage on the family home.
BUT in a rship with a woman he wasn't happy with, and was in love with me.
And i with him.
He told me "I can't afford to leave my partner."
Ok. I understood.
I had to get divorced too.
However..
Once he was divorced (before me, as I wasn't ready) he got a lump sum from it and was saving up the mortgage payments because the family home got sold.
He began to tell me "I'm getting a flat."
Great. I'll divorce my husband.
However after a few weeks he began saying.."I can't afford a flat."
Hmmm..he earned a good wage too. I checked flat prices and knowing how much money he had, I knew he could afford a little 2 bed flat.
He began putting pressure on me to leave my husband - while staying with his partner.
My child was 2 and I was working but only evenings and weekends for a few hours until she was 3 and going to pre-school therefore I can work and earn more.
He kept asking me "Why are you with him?" While staying with her!?
And I still had to get divorced!
I got a horrible feeling he wanted Me to provide, when I had a small wage, and a 2yrs old.
In other words, I had to leave first !
While staying with her, he began lying to her about money; he would tell me of their arguments!
You see...she left her husband and teenage kids for him. Got her own place and he moved in with her!
However I was not going to throw my whole life away and my childs family, just for him Not to leave; and risk the possibility of him just seeing me on the side OR moving in to my flat - had I got one - and start using Me financially.
until he leaves his partner.
I was so scared! That was 2016.
Now?
He carried on staying with her.
My emotionally abusive husband shut me out even more despite it being HIM who threatened me, while our baby was weeks old, and caused me to leave him for the guy I'm talking about here.
So.
My marriage fell apart.
I developed severe depression. I stopped talking. I just cried and shouted.
No love from my husband - but that's normal because he's controlling and is never wrong!
No apology for his threats.
No remorse.
No convincing me to stay.
No I Love You.
He divorced me for "Unreasonable Behaviour" but not for cheating but for my shouting and crying.
I was just very severely depressed!
The other guy also did nothing.
Just sat around with his money - lying to me as well as his partner about money, and keeping it all for himself while living in her house AND expecting me - a potential single mum with little money to provide for him.
He is buying a house now...2hrs away for himself and his son of 20 while he studies for 5yrs.
Now I'm alone.
I had a 2yr old to care for and not much money.
I didn't know which way to turn or who to go with.
These 2 men just sat there wanting everything from me it seems.
Sorry this is so long! 🤦♀️
THIS is why I asked the question here.
Posted by PulsySo he doesn't have to use His money.
Why does he want u to get flat first
He didnt say this outright but the bs he was telling me said it all !
He sounds like a bum. But to answer your question, NOPE.
Posted by pooface222I would’ve done the same thing. You date someone to make your life better, not worse. I mean, right? So do you still talk to this guy who finally got his own place with his son? Sorry if you’ve already answered. I haven’t read every post.Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
If I met a broke guy today, I wouldn’t give him a chance. I felt like a sugar momma in the past with one bf and I hated the burden and how lazy he was to not even try to get a job. I’m prefer a guy who’s half-half with everything. However, if I was already in love and something happened where the guy needed to lean on me, then of course.
I was hoping someone would say what you just said.
You see he had a full time job, but was married but separated (with a teenage son), and paying the mortgage on the family home.
BUT in a rship with a woman he wasn't happy with, and was in love with me.
And i with him.
He told me "I can't afford to leave my partner."
Ok. I understood.
I had to get divorced too.
However..
Once he was divorced (before me, as I wasn't ready) he got a lump sum from it and was saving up the mortgage payments because the family home got sold.
He began to tell me "I'm getting a flat."
Great. I'll divorce my husband.
However after a few weeks he began saying.."I can't afford a flat."
Hmmm..he earned a good wage too. I checked flat prices and knowing how much money he had, I knew he could afford a little 2 bed flat.
He began putting pressure on me to leave my husband - while staying with his partner.
My child was 2 and I was working but only evenings and weekends for a few hours until she was 3 and going to pre-school therefore I can work and earn more.
He kept asking me "Why are you with him?" While staying with her!?
And I still had to get divorced!
I got a horrible feeling he wanted Me to provide, when I had a small wage, and a 2yrs old.
In other words, I had to leave first !
While staying with her, he began lying to her about money; he would tell me of their arguments!
You see...she left her husband and teenage kids for him. Got her own place and he moved in with her!
However I was not going to throw my whole life away and my childs family, just for him Not to leave; and risk the possibility of him just seeing me on the side OR moving in to my flat - had I got one - and start using Me financially.
until he leaves his partner.
I was so scared! That was 2016.
Now?
He carried on staying with her.
My emotionally abusive husband shut me out even more despite it being HIM who threatened me, while our baby was weeks old, and caused me to leave him for the guy I'm talking about here.
So.
My marriage fell apart.
I developed severe depression. I stopped talking. I just cried and shouted.
No love from my husband - but that's normal because he's controlling and is never wrong!
No apology for his threats.
No remorse.
No convincing me to stay.
No I Love You.
He divorced me for "Unreasonable Behaviour" but not for cheating but for my shouting and crying.
I was just very severely depressed!
The other guy also did nothing.
Just sat around with his money - lying to me as well as his partner about money, and keeping it all for himself while living in her house AND expecting me - a potential single mum with little money to provide for him.
He is buying a house now...2hrs away for himself and his son of 20 while he studies for 5yrs.
Now I'm alone.
I had a 2yr old to care for and not much money.
I didn't know which way to turn or who to go with.
These 2 men just sat there wanting everything from me it seems.
Sorry this is so long! 🤦♀️
THIS is why I asked the question here.click to expand
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
Posted by pinkbird03We do still talk but we haven't been intimate since 17th March - before lockdown.Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
If I met a broke guy today, I wouldn’t give him a chance. I felt like a sugar momma in the past with one bf and I hated the burden and how lazy he was to not even try to get a job. I’m prefer a guy who’s half-half with everything. However, if I was already in love and something happened where the guy needed to lean on me, then of course.
I was hoping someone would say what you just said.
You see he had a full time job, but was married but separated (with a teenage son), and paying the mortgage on the family home.
BUT in a rship with a woman he wasn't happy with, and was in love with me.
And i with him.
He told me "I can't afford to leave my partner."
Ok. I understood.
I had to get divorced too.
However..
Once he was divorced (before me, as I wasn't ready) he got a lump sum from it and was saving up the mortgage payments because the family home got sold.
He began to tell me "I'm getting a flat."
Great. I'll divorce my husband.
However after a few weeks he began saying.."I can't afford a flat."
Hmmm..he earned a good wage too. I checked flat prices and knowing how much money he had, I knew he could afford a little 2 bed flat.
He began putting pressure on me to leave my husband - while staying with his partner.
My child was 2 and I was working but only evenings and weekends for a few hours until she was 3 and going to pre-school therefore I can work and earn more.
He kept asking me "Why are you with him?" While staying with her!?
And I still had to get divorced!
I got a horrible feeling he wanted Me to provide, when I had a small wage, and a 2yrs old.
In other words, I had to leave first !
While staying with her, he began lying to her about money; he would tell me of their arguments!
You see...she left her husband and teenage kids for him. Got her own place and he moved in with her!
However I was not going to throw my whole life away and my childs family, just for him Not to leave; and risk the possibility of him just seeing me on the side OR moving in to my flat - had I got one - and start using Me financially.
until he leaves his partner.
I was so scared! That was 2016.
Now?
He carried on staying with her.
My emotionally abusive husband shut me out even more despite it being HIM who threatened me, while our baby was weeks old, and caused me to leave him for the guy I'm talking about here.
So.
My marriage fell apart.
I developed severe depression. I stopped talking. I just cried and shouted.
No love from my husband - but that's normal because he's controlling and is never wrong!
No apology for his threats.
No remorse.
No convincing me to stay.
No I Love You.
He divorced me for "Unreasonable Behaviour" but not for cheating but for my shouting and crying.
I was just very severely depressed!
The other guy also did nothing.
Just sat around with his money - lying to me as well as his partner about money, and keeping it all for himself while living in her house AND expecting me - a potential single mum with little money to provide for him.
He is buying a house now...2hrs away for himself and his son of 20 while he studies for 5yrs.
Now I'm alone.
I had a 2yr old to care for and not much money.
I didn't know which way to turn or who to go with.
These 2 men just sat there wanting everything from me it seems.
Sorry this is so long! 🤦♀️
THIS is why I asked the question here.
I would’ve done the same thing. You date someone to make your life better, not worse. I mean, right? So do you still talk to this guy who finally got his own place with his son? Sorry if you’ve already answered. I haven’t read every post.click to expand
He came over for coffee last week and we talked and kissed but he just confused me even more.
I've wasted 6yrs on this guy and I was confused then.
Constant head-games, pressuring me to leave my husband while he stays with his partner - with no guarantee that he will leave her if I leave first.
So you would have done the same?
Posted by pooface222No, I wouldn’t have gotten or stayed in that situation as long as you did honestly because of the circumstances. But you can’t help who you love and if I really loved this guy then maybe I would have stayed. I think it’s best to be very picky from the beginning and not let someone into your life that has too much baggage that you’re not willing to put up with.Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
If I met a broke guy today, I wouldn’t give him a chance. I felt like a sugar momma in the past with one bf and I hated the burden and how lazy he was to not even try to get a job. I’m prefer a guy who’s half-half with everything. However, if I was already in love and something happened where the guy needed to lean on me, then of course.
I was hoping someone would say what you just said.
You see he had a full time job, but was married but separated (with a teenage son), and paying the mortgage on the family home.
BUT in a rship with a woman he wasn't happy with, and was in love with me.
And i with him.
He told me "I can't afford to leave my partner."
Ok. I understood.
I had to get divorced too.
However..
Once he was divorced (before me, as I wasn't ready) he got a lump sum from it and was saving up the mortgage payments because the family home got sold.
He began to tell me "I'm getting a flat."
Great. I'll divorce my husband.
However after a few weeks he began saying.."I can't afford a flat."
Hmmm..he earned a good wage too. I checked flat prices and knowing how much money he had, I knew he could afford a little 2 bed flat.
He began putting pressure on me to leave my husband - while staying with his partner.
My child was 2 and I was working but only evenings and weekends for a few hours until she was 3 and going to pre-school therefore I can work and earn more.
He kept asking me "Why are you with him?" While staying with her!?
And I still had to get divorced!
I got a horrible feeling he wanted Me to provide, when I had a small wage, and a 2yrs old.
In other words, I had to leave first !
While staying with her, he began lying to her about money; he would tell me of their arguments!
You see...she left her husband and teenage kids for him. Got her own place and he moved in with her!
However I was not going to throw my whole life away and my childs family, just for him Not to leave; and risk the possibility of him just seeing me on the side OR moving in to my flat - had I got one - and start using Me financially.
until he leaves his partner.
I was so scared! That was 2016.
Now?
He carried on staying with her.
My emotionally abusive husband shut me out even more despite it being HIM who threatened me, while our baby was weeks old, and caused me to leave him for the guy I'm talking about here.
So.
My marriage fell apart.
I developed severe depression. I stopped talking. I just cried and shouted.
No love from my husband - but that's normal because he's controlling and is never wrong!
No apology for his threats.
No remorse.
No convincing me to stay.
No I Love You.
He divorced me for "Unreasonable Behaviour" but not for cheating but for my shouting and crying.
I was just very severely depressed!
The other guy also did nothing.
Just sat around with his money - lying to me as well as his partner about money, and keeping it all for himself while living in her house AND expecting me - a potential single mum with little money to provide for him.
He is buying a house now...2hrs away for himself and his son of 20 while he studies for 5yrs.
Now I'm alone.
I had a 2yr old to care for and not much money.
I didn't know which way to turn or who to go with.
These 2 men just sat there wanting everything from me it seems.
Sorry this is so long! 🤦♀️
THIS is why I asked the question here.
I would’ve done the same thing. You date someone to make your life better, not worse. I mean, right? So do you still talk to this guy who finally got his own place with his son? Sorry if you’ve already answered. I haven’t read every post.
We do still talk but we haven't been intimate since 17th March - before lockdown.
He came over for coffee last week and we talked and kissed but he just confused me even more.
I've wasted 6yrs on this guy and I was confused then.
Constant head-games, pressuring me to leave my husband while he stays with his partner - with no guarantee that he will leave her if I leave first.
So you would have done the same?click to expand
Posted by UndineYou can do away with your judgemental comments of fleecing my husband Thank you very much!
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
He wanted a baby with me then began making threats to leave me if I didn't obey his demands.
He Hated me working! The more hours I worked, the more verbally abusive he became!
You see..i wanted to look after our baby in the daytime, and see other mummy friends I had made, and take our child to playgroups and swimming and other fun mummy & baby activities.
I then wanted to work in the evenings and a couple of hours weekend mornings.
That way i can be mummy and still earn money teaching fitness classes.
However he got at me regularly for my working pattern - 4 nights a week for 1 hour each.
THIS was part of my working pattern before pregnancy. Now that i was going back to my old pattern of work suddenly my husband can't stand it!
Everything i did was wrong INCLUDING taking on more work to support myself so that I am NOT living off my husband SMARTYPANTS!
Posted by UndineOh and Pisces son went to university in Sept last year after living with his father and partner for 2yrs.
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
Before his son came to him, we would have had a year and a half together beforehand. Therefore once his son comes we could have then bought a 3 bed place for the 4 of us.
Posted by UndineHe has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
Posted by pooface222YES, you were living of your husband, like it or not. Surely he told you --before you tied the knot--that he expected children during his marriage (like most people do) and also an old school, stay at home wife (apart from a hobby or two)? Is that not what you agreed to? Did you leave a promising career to become a house maker?Posted by Undine
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
You can do away with your judgemental comments of fleecing my husband Thank you very much!
He wanted a baby with me then began making threats to leave me if I didn't obey his demands.
He Hated me working! The more hours I worked, the more verbally abusive he became!
You see..i wanted to look after our baby in the daytime, and see other mummy friends I had made, and take our child to playgroups and swimming and other fun mummy & baby activities.
I then wanted to work in the evenings and a couple of hours weekend mornings.
That way i can be mummy and still earn money teaching fitness classes.
However he got at me regularly for my working pattern - 4 nights a week for 1 hour each.
THIS was part of my working pattern before pregnancy. Now that i was going back to my old pattern of work suddenly my husband can't stand it!
Everything i did was wrong INCLUDING taking on more work to support myself so that I am NOT living off my husband SMARTYPANTS!click to expand
You could have chosen to end your marriage, yet you carried on. Took a lover and made the life of your husband hell, so he ended up divorcing you instead, for unreasonable behaviour! How much money and assets did you get from your divorce?
Anyway, what happened, happened. You can't change the past, no matter how bitter you are about your ex lover who moved on and bought himself a house, and how much you try to re-write what happened. Move on!
Posted by pooface222Yes and no.
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
I want everything to be as 50/50 as possible. But if my dude lost his job for some hypothetical reason I wouldn’t mind shouldering the bills for a few months while he looked for work. The caveat being, he needs to actively look for work.
In your situation... absolutely not. I wouldn’t want this guy to move into my place without a rental agreement in place so that I’m assured and protected that he is paying for his weight.
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