Leo and Aquarius? (LONG question)
This topic was created in the Leo and Aquarius Compatibility forum by halfwaytohell on Friday, August 18, 2006 and has 12 replies.
Hello!
I'm very new to this astrology thing.
I'm an Aquarius. My boyfriend is a Leo, as well as my senior by two years.
Now I feel a little stupid for feeding into astrology, but I am going to give this a shot anyway!
Ok, so I love him very dearly. It's a mutual feeling.
We exactly alike!... Then again, nothing alike at all.
Our relationship went from semi-long distance. To LONG distance (opposite ends of the same coast.) I actually enjoy it! The way it was initially, we could drive to see each other on weekends or whenever really. Now in order to see each other we need to buy plane tickets.
-Some back ground:
I hate none plutonic relationships.. Maybe not hate, but strongly dislike.
Whenever I'd get a boyfriend, soon after, I'd start to look for reasons wrong with them. I NEVER do this with friends or family. But for some reason I can't help myself with boyfriends. I'm repulsed by the level of dependency boyfriends and girlfriends seem to have. I hate when people find a mate and then drop their friends like nothing.. only to see it NOT work out and come crawling back... be accepted.. then go off and do it again.
I start to panic. I feel trapped. My chest compresses.. I NEED OUT. And I end it very nicely.
I'm an awful girlfriend. I don't understand why I'm incapable of being a good one.. I really don't even like the title, it makes me sound like a pocession.
But I am an awesome friend.
I'm very new to this astrology thing.
I'm an Aquarius. My boyfriend is a Leo, as well as my senior by two years.
Now I feel a little stupid for feeding into astrology, but I am going to give this a shot anyway!
Ok, so I love him very dearly. It's a mutual feeling.
We exactly alike!... Then again, nothing alike at all.
Our relationship went from semi-long distance. To LONG distance (opposite ends of the same coast.) I actually enjoy it! The way it was initially, we could drive to see each other on weekends or whenever really. Now in order to see each other we need to buy plane tickets.
-Some back ground:
I hate none plutonic relationships.. Maybe not hate, but strongly dislike.
Whenever I'd get a boyfriend, soon after, I'd start to look for reasons wrong with them. I NEVER do this with friends or family. But for some reason I can't help myself with boyfriends. I'm repulsed by the level of dependency boyfriends and girlfriends seem to have. I hate when people find a mate and then drop their friends like nothing.. only to see it NOT work out and come crawling back... be accepted.. then go off and do it again.
I start to panic. I feel trapped. My chest compresses.. I NEED OUT. And I end it very nicely.
I'm an awful girlfriend. I don't understand why I'm incapable of being a good one.. I really don't even like the title, it makes me sound like a pocession.
But I am an awesome friend.
-Back to the boyfriend:
Me and the Leo have known each other, for seven or eight years.
A couple of years ago I had asked him to be my friend with benefits (which means you sleep with the person, but aren't in a relationship. It's not quite the same as just sleeping around.. I prefer it anyway. It's not messy or emotionally involving.) Then he was insistent that we date. I didn't understand, but he wouldn't go five minutes without asking me out. "NO." I explained to him how I AM bad girlfriend how I didn't want to BE a girlfriend, ect, ect, but he was still persistent.
I caved in, figuring it wouldn't last anyway (I gave him fair warning!) Things went pretty smoothly. Until he asked me to spend a weekend with just him. You see, he was my best friends brothers best friend. When he and I started dating, I'd spend SOME time with him, but most of my time with my friend. When he asked me to just spend a weekend with him exclusively, I heard it as "ME OR THE FRIEND." I panicked and left him. I'd never in my life pick a boy over such an awesome friend!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, I'd say after a year, we sort of started going back out.
I don't know the exact date, but it was some time in the Spring, I think in April.
But anyway, I have to honestly say, I love him. And it's mutual. But I'm getting flighty again.
How do can I NOT fuck this up? Does anyone have advice for me?
I mean. I have a fear of commitment and lately it's been rearing. But I really don't want to ruin this.. AGAIN.. Anyone?
Me and the Leo have known each other, for seven or eight years.
A couple of years ago I had asked him to be my friend with benefits (which means you sleep with the person, but aren't in a relationship. It's not quite the same as just sleeping around.. I prefer it anyway. It's not messy or emotionally involving.) Then he was insistent that we date. I didn't understand, but he wouldn't go five minutes without asking me out. "NO." I explained to him how I AM bad girlfriend how I didn't want to BE a girlfriend, ect, ect, but he was still persistent.
I caved in, figuring it wouldn't last anyway (I gave him fair warning!) Things went pretty smoothly. Until he asked me to spend a weekend with just him. You see, he was my best friends brothers best friend. When he and I started dating, I'd spend SOME time with him, but most of my time with my friend. When he asked me to just spend a weekend with him exclusively, I heard it as "ME OR THE FRIEND." I panicked and left him. I'd never in my life pick a boy over such an awesome friend!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, I'd say after a year, we sort of started going back out.
I don't know the exact date, but it was some time in the Spring, I think in April.
But anyway, I have to honestly say, I love him. And it's mutual. But I'm getting flighty again.
How do can I NOT fuck this up? Does anyone have advice for me?
I mean. I have a fear of commitment and lately it's been rearing. But I really don't want to ruin this.. AGAIN.. Anyone?
that is so aqua of you!!!
but do you have any advice for me? I really don't want to ruin this.
i think you need to re-evaluate what it is making you happy... are you in love with the thrill of the chase, or with the actual person??? it seems to me like aquas always want to see what else is out there and "if the grass is greener"... and then if it's not, they keep and ex on the back burner just in case. well, i personally don't think that is fair to do to someone.
One Fine, I UNDERSTAND completely what you mean!
Like the friend I had mentioned earlier. She could see the panic begin in my eyes. I remember I had an episode once. I suddenly COULD NOT stand my boyfriend. I was so displeased with myself, I didn't even want to be touched by him. I'm not a very emotional person.. at all.. And when I do have a fit of something, I do an excellent job of keeping it to myself. But my friend had known me so long, for eight years, she just knew and pulled me aside and let me get it off my chest. I just feel like I'm suffocating when I'm in a relationship. That by the way, was the worst fit of this I ever had with this boy.
I do feel a lot better talking about it with friends. Or writing it. Or even just now, having read what you've said.
I constantly think about the future. And I have thought about one that included him.
Strangely I find a bit of comfort actually, thinking he and I will last. He's really an extrodinary person.
And as for Moon: Yes and no. The chase feeling ends as soon as I know I can have them.. Then I lose interest. This is something more. What I feel for him, I know is sincere, and like JustFine, it sort of frightens me. I really didn't think it was possible to truely love someone in a manner that was none plutonic. This boy is the only ex I've ever gone back to. If I break up with someone that's the end of it. This boy seems to be an excetion to a lot of things, hahahah. And honestly, that ISN'T a fair thing to do. It's really grimy actually, to be used as a safety net. As for the "yes" part, my mind does wonder, as well as my eyes, and then comes the questioning of myself.
I'd never cheat. Ever. It's disgusting. And if you don't like a person to be faithful enough to them, do yourselves both a favor and end it. My Leo is very much the same way, we're both loyal (especially to friends) almost to a default.
Like the friend I had mentioned earlier. She could see the panic begin in my eyes. I remember I had an episode once. I suddenly COULD NOT stand my boyfriend. I was so displeased with myself, I didn't even want to be touched by him. I'm not a very emotional person.. at all.. And when I do have a fit of something, I do an excellent job of keeping it to myself. But my friend had known me so long, for eight years, she just knew and pulled me aside and let me get it off my chest. I just feel like I'm suffocating when I'm in a relationship. That by the way, was the worst fit of this I ever had with this boy.
I do feel a lot better talking about it with friends. Or writing it. Or even just now, having read what you've said.
I constantly think about the future. And I have thought about one that included him.
Strangely I find a bit of comfort actually, thinking he and I will last. He's really an extrodinary person.
And as for Moon: Yes and no. The chase feeling ends as soon as I know I can have them.. Then I lose interest. This is something more. What I feel for him, I know is sincere, and like JustFine, it sort of frightens me. I really didn't think it was possible to truely love someone in a manner that was none plutonic. This boy is the only ex I've ever gone back to. If I break up with someone that's the end of it. This boy seems to be an excetion to a lot of things, hahahah. And honestly, that ISN'T a fair thing to do. It's really grimy actually, to be used as a safety net. As for the "yes" part, my mind does wonder, as well as my eyes, and then comes the questioning of myself.
I'd never cheat. Ever. It's disgusting. And if you don't like a person to be faithful enough to them, do yourselves both a favor and end it. My Leo is very much the same way, we're both loyal (especially to friends) almost to a default.
halfway...i am a little sensitive on the subject b/c i AM that "safety net" for an aqua ex of mine. he only broke up with me 3 months ago and left me for another girl, yet he still contacts me, calls me, and has even shown up at my work once to see me. and he has even told me in the past that he knows "i will always be there for him no matter what. i will never be with anyone else but him."...pretty bad, huh?
so, i know how bad it feels...and that is why i do not contact him anymore and i have decided to not answer his calls anymore...b/c he needs to feel what it is like to lose me for good...
so, i know how bad it feels...and that is why i do not contact him anymore and i have decided to not answer his calls anymore...b/c he needs to feel what it is like to lose me for good...
This is a really interesting thread!
OK well first off, Halfway, if you're in duality about what to do about your relation with your Leo bf, it sounds to me like you have been together quite a while and have enduring different tests and still come through the other side, bieng fond of eachother and eventually drifting back into bf-gf mode. So in other words you sound quite comfortable around eachother and understand eachother quite well. Therefore, if you are having hesitations and doubts, surely the best thing to do is discuss it with your Leo bf - or sorry "friend". - BTW I like the term you coined "friend with benefits" LOL hey I want some of these myself!! He doesn't sound like he's been piling that much pressure on you anyway in terms of committment, just saying that he wants you to be his girlfriend, which surely is understandable as screwing around is not something you really want to engage in either I'm guessing, right? So basically I think you should discuss what you're thinking with him.
"And when I do have a fit of something, I do an excellent job of keeping it to myself."
Yes, I do this too. Not good for you or the other person. Best to bring it out in the open in a way that is comfortable for you to reveal your innermost feelings. (I think you can touch on things that you might feel very sensitive about but if they are said in a certain way, it can take the edge off ir for them and for you so it doesn't sound like such a momentous thing when you voice it.
OFA, you say you're afraid of committing to your aries fella in case you find out that he might not feel the same way and you might get really hurt. The thing is that you've gotta just roll with it. You can't really stand at the side lines for too long wondering if you should progress or walk away. But it's probably good that he is involved in his job quite a lot so that things are naturally going slowly between you two. Rushing into a relationship isn't usually the best means for making it last. I guess just don't become paranoid, enjoy your space, hang out with your friends and have a great time with eachother when you do hook up.
OK well first off, Halfway, if you're in duality about what to do about your relation with your Leo bf, it sounds to me like you have been together quite a while and have enduring different tests and still come through the other side, bieng fond of eachother and eventually drifting back into bf-gf mode. So in other words you sound quite comfortable around eachother and understand eachother quite well. Therefore, if you are having hesitations and doubts, surely the best thing to do is discuss it with your Leo bf - or sorry "friend". - BTW I like the term you coined "friend with benefits" LOL hey I want some of these myself!! He doesn't sound like he's been piling that much pressure on you anyway in terms of committment, just saying that he wants you to be his girlfriend, which surely is understandable as screwing around is not something you really want to engage in either I'm guessing, right? So basically I think you should discuss what you're thinking with him.
"And when I do have a fit of something, I do an excellent job of keeping it to myself."
Yes, I do this too. Not good for you or the other person. Best to bring it out in the open in a way that is comfortable for you to reveal your innermost feelings. (I think you can touch on things that you might feel very sensitive about but if they are said in a certain way, it can take the edge off ir for them and for you so it doesn't sound like such a momentous thing when you voice it.
OFA, you say you're afraid of committing to your aries fella in case you find out that he might not feel the same way and you might get really hurt. The thing is that you've gotta just roll with it. You can't really stand at the side lines for too long wondering if you should progress or walk away. But it's probably good that he is involved in his job quite a lot so that things are naturally going slowly between you two. Rushing into a relationship isn't usually the best means for making it last. I guess just don't become paranoid, enjoy your space, hang out with your friends and have a great time with eachother when you do hook up.
One, I know that I put my friends before ALOT of things. I shouldn't sometimes, but still do.
I don't know what to say about the age difference between he and the group he leads.
It's creepy when older "people" seem to only hang out with those who are significantly younger than them. 20-18 isn't a big difference though. It seems like he plays more of the role of a brother than a preditor in this group he leads though, hahah. If he's as passionate about this organization as it seems to me, he probably gets A LOT of satifaction from it! (Duh)
-Mellow, that's what's funny. If he does something that bothers me, I tell him directly! "Hey, that hurts/makes me feel awful, could you stop that?" (much more detailed though) I HATE playing guessing games. If I'm upset with him. I tell him. When he's upset at me, I'm supposed to read his mind and figure why. But anyway, he'll just yes me to death.. and do it again. It hurts even more the next time he does it, because I've already told him FLAT OUT that it HURTS.
Here's an example.
I don't need or even really want to speak to him everyday.
But he would NEVER call. I'd be the one to have to do it, every three days or so.
It bothered me because it seemed like I was the one putting the effort into it.
And you sorta feel unwanted or like you're bothering the person when communications aren't, yeah, mutual.
It seems petty. But I don't know.
I told him a few times
"It hurts that you never call."
"I'm sorry blahblah, I'll start."
Four days.. I break and call.
"You STILL don't call."
"I'm sorry.. blahblah.."
I'll wait a week.
"WHAT THE F---."
"I didn't know it bothered you so much."
"But I've told you it did!"
I have no idea why he does that. Oh! After that last one he actually started calling.. now he calls too much.. which is every night.. I feel bad, because it's the summer (.. hell.. even during school) and I'm out every night until 4-5am at a party or throwing one.. So when he calls I'll tell him as much but he'll still chew my ear off for half an hour.. Normally after that I start passing the phone around to my friends.
I feel awful about it also because he was ALOT like me, in the fact we went out everynight, to a party or threw one. But he's moved so far away, that aspect of his life is completely different now and now he's home most nights.
I don't know what to say about the age difference between he and the group he leads.
It's creepy when older "people" seem to only hang out with those who are significantly younger than them. 20-18 isn't a big difference though. It seems like he plays more of the role of a brother than a preditor in this group he leads though, hahah. If he's as passionate about this organization as it seems to me, he probably gets A LOT of satifaction from it! (Duh)
-Mellow, that's what's funny. If he does something that bothers me, I tell him directly! "Hey, that hurts/makes me feel awful, could you stop that?" (much more detailed though) I HATE playing guessing games. If I'm upset with him. I tell him. When he's upset at me, I'm supposed to read his mind and figure why. But anyway, he'll just yes me to death.. and do it again. It hurts even more the next time he does it, because I've already told him FLAT OUT that it HURTS.
Here's an example.
I don't need or even really want to speak to him everyday.
But he would NEVER call. I'd be the one to have to do it, every three days or so.
It bothered me because it seemed like I was the one putting the effort into it.
And you sorta feel unwanted or like you're bothering the person when communications aren't, yeah, mutual.
It seems petty. But I don't know.
I told him a few times
"It hurts that you never call."
"I'm sorry blahblah, I'll start."
Four days.. I break and call.
"You STILL don't call."
"I'm sorry.. blahblah.."
I'll wait a week.
"WHAT THE F---."
"I didn't know it bothered you so much."
"But I've told you it did!"
I have no idea why he does that. Oh! After that last one he actually started calling.. now he calls too much.. which is every night.. I feel bad, because it's the summer (.. hell.. even during school) and I'm out every night until 4-5am at a party or throwing one.. So when he calls I'll tell him as much but he'll still chew my ear off for half an hour.. Normally after that I start passing the phone around to my friends.
I feel awful about it also because he was ALOT like me, in the fact we went out everynight, to a party or threw one. But he's moved so far away, that aspect of his life is completely different now and now he's home most nights.
Guess I wont be dating an aqua in the near future. I'll tell you this. Im an aries. If you're the one who calls all the time, he feels its practical and convenient for him. So that way, he doesn't have to think about calling. He will still want to talk to you when you call him.
Well.. it looks like I'd never date an aries, because that's rather selfish.
Im just saying thats probobly what hes thinking since he doesnt call. Doesn't mean aries guys never call.
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