Moving on after a break up.
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by Basorexia on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 and has 24 replies.
My virgo friend ( M ) was engaged to be married last summer (June 2018) to his Cancer ( F )
he's aqua moon + scorp. venus
she's aqua moon + cancer venus
*together more than 4 years, living together for almost as long.
Weeks before the wedding - she called the wedding off and broke up with him completely.
It was pretty shocking and he took it pretty hard ( obviously..) but he never talked about it.
He made it clear the topic was off-limits and to never mention her again.
Around august 2018 he packed up his things and traveled for a few months.
When he came back ( october) he was seeing someone again - casually
( we never met her)
November 2018 came around and his ex cancer starting posting about her new boyfriend on social media.
Almost a year later now he's ready to introduce his new girlfriend to us ( next weekend ..)
I guess i'm just..surprised how fast they both moved on from their relationships?
I mean.. they almost got married...
How long does it take you to bounce back from a breakup?
(Serious..long term relationship)
he's aqua moon + scorp. venus
she's aqua moon + cancer venus
*together more than 4 years, living together for almost as long.
Weeks before the wedding - she called the wedding off and broke up with him completely.
It was pretty shocking and he took it pretty hard ( obviously..) but he never talked about it.
He made it clear the topic was off-limits and to never mention her again.
Around august 2018 he packed up his things and traveled for a few months.
When he came back ( october) he was seeing someone again - casually
( we never met her)
November 2018 came around and his ex cancer starting posting about her new boyfriend on social media.
Almost a year later now he's ready to introduce his new girlfriend to us ( next weekend ..)
I guess i'm just..surprised how fast they both moved on from their relationships?
I mean.. they almost got married...
How long does it take you to bounce back from a breakup?
(Serious..long term relationship)
Posted by Basorexia
My virgo friend ( M ) was engaged to be married last summer (June 2018) to his Cancer ( F )
he's aqua moon + scorp. venus
she's aqua moon + cancer venus
*together more than 4 years, living together for almost as long.
Weeks before the wedding - she called the wedding off and broke up with him completely.
It was pretty shocking and he took it pretty hard ( obviously..) but he never talked about it.
He made it clear the topic was off-limits and to never mention her again.
Around august 2018 he packed up his things and traveled for a few months.
When he came back ( october) he was seeing someone again - casually
( we never met her)
November 2018 came around and his ex cancer starting posting about her new boyfriend on social media.
Almost a year later now he's ready to introduce his new girlfriend to us ( next weekend ..)
I guess i'm just..surprised how fast they both moved on from their relationships?
I mean.. they almost got married...
How long does it take you to bounce back from a breakup?
(Serious..long term relationship)
There is more than one soulmate for a person. If things click so be it. I just hate people who feel they need a companion to be happy. My bro is a virgo who can't be single twice married now with only 3 months of a divorce gap in between hitching the prior 1
Just because you are with someone new doesn’t mean you’ve moved on emotionally. Aqua moons are good at hiding it from themselves.
It takes a long time for me.
It takes a long time for me.
Posted by LibraSupremePosted by Basorexia
My virgo friend ( M ) was engaged to be married last summer (June 2018) to his Cancer ( F )
he's aqua moon + scorp. venus
she's aqua moon + cancer venus
*together more than 4 years, living together for almost as long.
Weeks before the wedding - she called the wedding off and broke up with him completely.
It was pretty shocking and he took it pretty hard ( obviously..) but he never talked about it.
He made it clear the topic was off-limits and to never mention her again.
Around august 2018 he packed up his things and traveled for a few months.
When he came back ( october) he was seeing someone again - casually
( we never met her)
November 2018 came around and his ex cancer starting posting about her new boyfriend on social media.
Almost a year later now he's ready to introduce his new girlfriend to us ( next weekend ..)
I guess i'm just..surprised how fast they both moved on from their relationships?
I mean.. they almost got married...
How long does it take you to bounce back from a breakup?
(Serious..long term relationship)
There is more than one soulmate for a person. If things click so be it. I just hate people who feel they need a companion to be happy. My bro is a virgo who can't be single twice married now with only 3 months of a divorce gap in between hitching the prior 1click to expand
Yes obviously he's going to date again and maybe marry someone else eventually.
I'm just shocked how fast it happened:
Him seeing someone else & her dating someone else
months after they cancelled their wedding.....both of them posting it away on social media.
I know social media means shit & its often a tool that helps faking shit too.
Perhaps that's how they're coping with it or they're just over it.
4 years is a long ass time .. perhaps I give it a lot of importance because the idea of marriage freaks me out and so it's very heavy of a decision ..to simply be done with after a few months.
*sigh.
Posted by PuzzlePieces+ They're both aqua moons .. & so maybe you're right.
Just because you are with someone new doesn’t mean you’ve moved on emotionally. Aqua moons are good at hiding it from themselves.
It takes a long time for me.
one day you just figure we're all drones
and you'll grab the first non-irritating drone and just go do whatever
that's why people rush quickly to the next one after a long, idyllic stroll
know what sucks? that's probably gonna last longer
last resorts often do
and you'll grab the first non-irritating drone and just go do whatever
that's why people rush quickly to the next one after a long, idyllic stroll
know what sucks? that's probably gonna last longer
last resorts often do
Posted by BasorexiaTook me & a Virgo 5 years to get over each other. I married & divorced someone in those years 😳 and he was engaged to a couple of women who apparently were very similar to me before he found the right one ( very different than me) about the end of the 5 years.Posted by PuzzlePieces
Just because you are with someone new doesn’t mean you’ve moved on emotionally. Aqua moons are good at hiding it from themselves.
It takes a long time for me.
+ They're both aqua moons .. & so maybe you're right.click to expand
Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by BasorexiaPosted by PuzzlePieces
Just because you are with someone new doesn’t mean you’ve moved on emotionally. Aqua moons are good at hiding it from themselves.
It takes a long time for me.
+ They're both aqua moons .. & so maybe you're right.
Took me & a Virgo 5 years to get over each other. I married & divorced someone in those years 😳 and he was engaged to a couple of women who apparently were very similar to me before he found the right one ( very different than me) about the end of the 5 years.click to expand
5 years .. woah.
If he's truly over it .. I'm glad, he's my friend - I want his happiness.
Scary thing how quickly relationships can change.. for some people at least.
Posted by BasorexiaYeah well he made a decision to break up - rational choice. Emotions well they take longer. We were planning on getting married and very much in love when he made that choice. And omg young. 21 & 22 when we broke up after a 3 year relationship. The aftermath was definitely messy.Posted by PuzzlePiecesPosted by BasorexiaPosted by PuzzlePieces
Just because you are with someone new doesn’t mean you’ve moved on emotionally. Aqua moons are good at hiding it from themselves.
It takes a long time for me.
+ They're both aqua moons .. & so maybe you're right.
Took me & a Virgo 5 years to get over each other. I married & divorced someone in those years 😳 and he was engaged to a couple of women who apparently were very similar to me before he found the right one ( very different than me) about the end of the 5 years.
5 years .. woah.
If he's truly over it .. I'm glad, he's my friend - I want his happiness.
Scary thing how quickly relationships can change.. for some people at least.click to expand
Posted by Phantom_Dangus
People routinely astound me with how quickly they move in and out of relationships and marriages. I don't understand how that works. Must be Venus in Taurus.
Exactly.
Marriage is a big fcking deal...financially emotionally.. it's a lot.
Perhaps these types of people have a different perception of marriage and it's importance.
I sometimes still have nightmares that I'm getting married
..Posted by Black-Mamba
They’d be terrible together anyways
He's virgo after all
and he is picky AFFFFFFFFF. lol I didn't know her very well, she was reserved ( and I don't take issue to that cause I can be the same ..I don't warm up to people easily...especially in a group setting....) but she was always nice ..polite....
As soon as they find love somewhere else.
My pinion is that Men take things way harder then women. Lots of reminiscing about the past and things that could've changed, remembering good memories and mostly forgetting the bad and being able to sweep it under the rug.
Women are mostly about finding love and looking forward to a new beginning, romance and new love. As well as remembering every bad thing that ever happened to them so they can leave their ex exactly where he's supposed to be once they've moved on.
My pinion is that Men take things way harder then women. Lots of reminiscing about the past and things that could've changed, remembering good memories and mostly forgetting the bad and being able to sweep it under the rug.
Women are mostly about finding love and looking forward to a new beginning, romance and new love. As well as remembering every bad thing that ever happened to them so they can leave their ex exactly where he's supposed to be once they've moved on.
When you’re done you are DONE
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
it gets shorter each time for me...I think I started with like 4-5 yrs recovery after my first adult love of about the same length. That was rough....went on meds, was seeing a counselor, isolated myself for a long time...thought I'd never get over her. All it took was meeting someone else, feeling those butterflies all over again, the excitement of getting to know someone new/different completely eclipsed the sorrow.
nowadays, it would probably take me 3-6 mos. at most after a 2-4 yr+ LTR, and yes I would probably be dating very soon after a breakup of any long-term....
I think its a major milestone in life when you realize you can fall in love, not just once again, but many more times throughout. And not just that, but that there are different kinds of love, all worth experiencing. Just considering one spectrum - heavier/more draining emotional connections that really feel more passionate but are just a drag in so many ways, full of euphoric highs/depressing lows, and overall chaos/instability vs. lighter more fun/easygoing bonds that aren't as obsessive, are more routine, but ultimately have higher overall compatibility/longevity. Further, you can grow to appreciate the fact that you had the full range of experience and be thankful for the original relationships not working out. When young, often you put someone on a pedestal because you don't have a point of comparison...
Sure there's always the residual emotional pain of loss, regret, etc., even with the end of a platonic friendship you have that - but there's also the excitement of getting to be with someone new, someone you don't know everything about, aren't bored of, new convo, new experiences, new sex, etc. that a lot of people repress desires around, while they're in lackluster LTRs that probably should've ended a long time ago.
I feel like often the only or main criteria people still use to judge the validity of a relationship is "how long did it last?", or "did it even last?". There are so many other angles and questions to ask though. How long should any relationship last? Would you really want to experience only one love? How long does it take you to get bored of someone, for things to feel stagnant/stale, for you to feel like you've learned everything there is about them, and life with them? Sometimes more passionate/emotional bonds are short-lived, precisely because there is so much feeling involved, and people get wounded deeply, and that doesn't necessarily make it any less or more valuable than a longer-term more stable bond.
I never judge anyone who jumps from one relationship quickly into another. If anything, I envy them. I think all the talk about self-healing, and learning to be alone, is often bullshit. Most people aren't really good at this....Really, most professionals can't heal you of your accumulated brokenness, so much less so your pile of unfinished self-help books. Much self-healing can be done within the context of a relationship, often with a partner on the same path. People can do the solitary self-healing bit for years and still bring all the same baggage into a new relationship, only now they're even more bitter, more rigid, and have developed all sorts of anti-social tendencies. I've done that myself. Often a new relationship can and does heal you of old wounds because your trauma and all of your beliefs and habits surrounding it were formed in relationships, and you're counterbalancing it by building new relationship experience/memories, learning that things can be different. Perpetual loneliness is a wound worth healing in and of itself - maybe the worst - and I'd choose multiple short-term relationships over that any day....
nowadays, it would probably take me 3-6 mos. at most after a 2-4 yr+ LTR, and yes I would probably be dating very soon after a breakup of any long-term....
I think its a major milestone in life when you realize you can fall in love, not just once again, but many more times throughout. And not just that, but that there are different kinds of love, all worth experiencing. Just considering one spectrum - heavier/more draining emotional connections that really feel more passionate but are just a drag in so many ways, full of euphoric highs/depressing lows, and overall chaos/instability vs. lighter more fun/easygoing bonds that aren't as obsessive, are more routine, but ultimately have higher overall compatibility/longevity. Further, you can grow to appreciate the fact that you had the full range of experience and be thankful for the original relationships not working out. When young, often you put someone on a pedestal because you don't have a point of comparison...
Sure there's always the residual emotional pain of loss, regret, etc., even with the end of a platonic friendship you have that - but there's also the excitement of getting to be with someone new, someone you don't know everything about, aren't bored of, new convo, new experiences, new sex, etc. that a lot of people repress desires around, while they're in lackluster LTRs that probably should've ended a long time ago.
I feel like often the only or main criteria people still use to judge the validity of a relationship is "how long did it last?", or "did it even last?". There are so many other angles and questions to ask though. How long should any relationship last? Would you really want to experience only one love? How long does it take you to get bored of someone, for things to feel stagnant/stale, for you to feel like you've learned everything there is about them, and life with them? Sometimes more passionate/emotional bonds are short-lived, precisely because there is so much feeling involved, and people get wounded deeply, and that doesn't necessarily make it any less or more valuable than a longer-term more stable bond.
I never judge anyone who jumps from one relationship quickly into another. If anything, I envy them. I think all the talk about self-healing, and learning to be alone, is often bullshit. Most people aren't really good at this....Really, most professionals can't heal you of your accumulated brokenness, so much less so your pile of unfinished self-help books. Much self-healing can be done within the context of a relationship, often with a partner on the same path. People can do the solitary self-healing bit for years and still bring all the same baggage into a new relationship, only now they're even more bitter, more rigid, and have developed all sorts of anti-social tendencies. I've done that myself. Often a new relationship can and does heal you of old wounds because your trauma and all of your beliefs and habits surrounding it were formed in relationships, and you're counterbalancing it by building new relationship experience/memories, learning that things can be different. Perpetual loneliness is a wound worth healing in and of itself - maybe the worst - and I'd choose multiple short-term relationships over that any day....
Posted by Phantom_DangusYou reminisces and don't move on when you find new love?Posted by saggurl88
As soon as they find love somewhere else.
My pinion is that Men take things way harder then women. Lots of reminiscing about the past and things that could've changed, remembering good memories and mostly forgetting the bad and being able to sweep it under the rug.
Women are mostly about finding love and looking forward to a new beginning, romance and new love. As well as remembering every bad thing that ever happened to them so they can leave their ex exactly where he's supposed to be once they've moved on.
Not I.click to expand
Posted by Phantom_Danguslol You failed your speed reading course!!Posted by saggurl88Posted by Phantom_DangusPosted by saggurl88
As soon as they find love somewhere else.
My pinion is that Men take things way harder then women. Lots of reminiscing about the past and things that could've changed, remembering good memories and mostly forgetting the bad and being able to sweep it under the rug.
Women are mostly about finding love and looking forward to a new beginning, romance and new love. As well as remembering every bad thing that ever happened to them so they can leave their ex exactly where he's supposed to be once they've moved on.
Not I.
You reminisces and don't move on when you find new love?
Nah. I misunderstood your post. I thought you meant that you move on when he does (they do). I was like, gee, that's a cool trick.click to expand
Posted by Phantom_DangusToo much of a heart, and I have learnt that when a relationship is over there is a reason and there is NO point obsessing over it.Posted by Sjess
When you’re done you are DONE
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
Dost thou have a heart?click to expand
Posted by Metatron
it gets shorter each time for me...I think I started with like 4-5 yrs recovery after my first adult love of about the same length. That was rough....went on meds, was seeing a counselor, isolated myself for a long time...thought I'd never get over her. All it took was meeting someone else, feeling those butterflies all over again, the excitement of getting to know someone new/different completely eclipsed the sorrow.
nowadays, it would probably take me 3-6 mos. at most after a 2-4 yr+ LTR, and yes I would probably be dating very soon after a breakup of any long-term....
I think its a major milestone in life when you realize you can fall in love, not just once again, but many more times throughout. And not just that, but that there are different kinds of love, all worth experiencing. Just considering one spectrum - heavier/more draining emotional connections that really feel more passionate but are just a drag in so many ways, full of euphoric highs/depressing lows, and overall chaos/instability vs. lighter more fun/easygoing bonds that aren't as obsessive, are more routine, but ultimately have higher overall compatibility/longevity. Further, you can grow to appreciate the fact that you had the full range of experience and be thankful for the original relationships not working out. When young, often you put someone on a pedestal because you don't have a point of comparison...
Sure there's always the residual emotional pain of loss, regret, etc., even with the end of a platonic friendship you have that - but there's also the excitement of getting to be with someone new, someone you don't know everything about, aren't bored of, new convo, new experiences, new sex, etc. that a lot of people repress desires around, while they're in lackluster LTRs that probably should've ended a long time ago.
I feel like often the only or main criteria people still use to judge the validity of a relationship is "how long did it last?", or "did it even last?". There are so many other angles and questions to ask though. How long should any relationship last? Would you really want to experience only one love? How long does it take you to get bored of someone, for things to feel stagnant/stale, for you to feel like you've learned everything there is about them, and life with them? Sometimes less passionate/emotional bonds are short-lived, precisely because there is so much feeling involved, and people get wounded deeply, and that doesn't necessarily make it any less or more valuable than a longer-term more stable bond.
I never judge anyone who jumps from one relationship quickly into another. If anything, I envy them. I think all the talk about self-healing, and learning to be alone, is often bullshit. Most people aren't really good at this....Really, most professionals can't heal you of your accumulated brokenness, so much less so your pile of unfinished self-help books. Much self-healing can be done within the context of a relationship, often with a partner on the same path. People can do the solitary self-healing bit for years and still bring all the same baggage into a new relationship, only now they're even more bitter, more rigid, and have developed all sorts of anti-social tendencies. I've done that myself. Often a new relationship can and does heal you of old wounds because your trauma and all of your beliefs and habits surrounding it were formed in relationships, and you're counterbalancing it by building new relationship experience/memories, learning that things can be different. Perpetual loneliness is a wound worth healing in and of itself - maybe the worst - and I'd choose multiple short-term relationships over that any day....
!! I'm not judging him.
Perhaps he's still healing through his new relationship and if so, cool. Good for him.
... just another reminder how ephemeral relationships can be nowadays.. I guess.
I'm always hopeful that long term relationships are still possible..challenging but possible.
Posted by SjessPosted by Phantom_DangusPosted by Sjess
When you’re done you are DONE
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
Dost thou have a heart?
Too much of a heart, and I have learnt that when a relationship is over there is a reason and there is NO point obsessing over it.click to expand
Right you should never obsess over a past relationship. Moving on is an absolute must... I'm not questioning or disagreeing with you *about that.
It's about the healing process, some people seem to need less time than others or to simply skip it.
I was with my ex Scorpio 5 years. 10 on and off.
He moved on within a month.
I had a quick rebound and 5 months later with my current mate.
I was so done l, there weren't any lingering feelings for him, so I easily moved on.
He moved on quickly because he was cheating.
I do wish I waited and was single for at least a year.
I had a lot of baggage to deal with that my new s.o had to deal with too.
I feel bad but he stuck by me through the worst of it. And I couldn't be happier.
He's the absolute best! 🥰
He moved on within a month.
I had a quick rebound and 5 months later with my current mate.
I was so done l, there weren't any lingering feelings for him, so I easily moved on.
He moved on quickly because he was cheating.
I do wish I waited and was single for at least a year.
I had a lot of baggage to deal with that my new s.o had to deal with too.
I feel bad but he stuck by me through the worst of it. And I couldn't be happier.
He's the absolute best! 🥰
Posted by SjessMy sentiments exactly
When you’re done you are DONE
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
Posted by Phantom_DangusI'll never understand that either. I'm in my 40s but even from my 20s, I always allowed myself a year MINIMUM to heal. No exceptions.
People routinely astound me with how quickly they move in and out of relationships and marriages. I don't understand how that works. Must be Venus in Taurus.
Posted by SjessPosted by BasorexiaPosted by SjessPosted by Phantom_DangusPosted by Sjess
When you’re done you are DONE
Im not sure what the big deal is.
Whether it’s been 4 months 4 years or 40 years.
You are done. Move on!
Dost thou have a heart?
Too much of a heart, and I have learnt that when a relationship is over there is a reason and there is NO point obsessing over it.
Right you should never obsess over a past relationship. Moving on is an absolute must... I'm not questioning or disagreeing with you *about that.
It's about the healing process, some people seem to need less time than others or to simply skip it.
Right- but who’s to say how long it should take another person to get over something or heal or however you want to say it...right?
Like some people might break up, but they have been over the relationship for way longer than just the breakup.
For example- I was with my ex for 18 years but I had been done that relationship for years before that. When we finally broke up I started dating again almost immediately. I couldn’t wait to get on with it. I had moved on mentally and emotionally years before that. See?click to expand
No I don't see? Especially If you don't bother reading the op.
Too-dah-loo!
. 
A long time
I don’t get how people move on so quickly
Scorpio dom
Moon and Mars in Taurus
Doooooomed lol
I don’t get how people move on so quickly
Scorpio dom
Moon and Mars in Taurus
Doooooomed lol
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