No Place Safe....

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by FlyingBurritos80 on Sunday, April 26, 2009 and has 4 replies.

I guess I need a segment with Dr Phil. But he's too busy so I got dxp here.
Here goes... Every year in the city I live we have a arts/crafts hippieish festival. Which basically translates intt topless body painted girls running around, dancing in circles and a shitload of potsmoke.
I wasnt that keen on going. I've been going out seeing concerts and afterparties four days in a row. So I was spent.
But my friend wanted to go and nagged me like an old granny about it. Finally I acquiesed, albeit reluctantly.
Then I had a grand idea to keep myself from dying of terminal boredom there. There is a costume store down the road I use a lot.
Went into the store perusing the costumes. Found one I liked, rented it out. Did the necessary remodeling for it. The character I made up is a Crackhead Gumby.
I outfitted it with powder stains on the costume where the face is. Needle marks on the arms with a pipe attached to the hand.
Next day got into costume and my friend came over to take me. His reaction was a mixture of shock and horror, like the first time you watch a hannah montana movie. He finally plummeted down to planet earth a few minutes later. And we left.
Went to the festival. Wow it was everything I expected but with more emphasis on pot. We were walking around looking at stuff and watching the dances.
About 5 minutes in I got approached by groups of people. Half wanting to take their picture with me. And then others just chatting with me. Majority of the people were girls. I've never seen women be that flirtatious before with me. As in ass grabbing, lots of touching, and a kiss on the cheek. Girls were giving me their numbers
Its like I went from Carrot Top to Brad Pitt overnight. As I am still processing this weird turn of events, a group of men came up. Except they were not happy to see me.
They were all tall and steroid bound from what I could determine. "Hey asshole, do you not have any respect for other people?" the leader of the pill enhanced screams. I asked him what the fuck he was talking about. "You were flirting with my girlfriend." "Mine too" is what the other men said.
See part of what was perplexing me about these women being interested is they were really hot. Usually in the town I live in if a girl is really attractive she is always taken. I thought my luck had changed for once. to be continued...
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But Flying Burrito's law still is in effect. Meaning any beautiful girl that likes me always has a boyfriend.
Anyway while this confrontation of brawn and brainless vs gangly and smart is going on, my friend whispers something. He says most of the women here are with guys. There werent that many single gals around.
I told the poor man's Mr Universe it wasnt intentional, they had approached me. He said "You're a goddamn liar. I dont like liars. So I'm going to teach you never to do that again."
I know this guy could probably wrap me around his arm and give me endless swirlies. But I wanted to stand my ground because I hate fucking bullies.
At the same time though I didnt want to end up in jail getting a conjugal visit from someone I DONT want a conjugal visit from in there.
Somehow I lucked out and one of the women who gave me their number ran up. She told him to back off. He and her start arguing. The other Hulk clones start moving towards me and my friend. Just as I was thinking we were going to be stampeded security comes up.
Asks what is going on. i explained my side then Pencil dick gives his version. Security kicks us both out. We all walk in separate directions with me and my friend jumping quickly in the car.
I dont think I am ever going out again. It is not safe. Is it unreasonable to want to have fun with the expectation of no drama? Whoever said Austin is the #1 singles town was smoking too much weed. It is for people between 18 and 22 years old.
But most are taken. It ought to be called the #1 Cheaters town. Considering most couples do here I've yet to find a city with more bored, horny girlfriends/wives than this one.
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You stud.
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Good read. 10 points for entertainment.
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