Okay slightly nervous about writing this??

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by pinklibra on Friday, September 5, 2014 and has 22 replies.
I used to be friends with this girl for over 13 years, 2 years ago we stopped being friends over something I think was petty. Long story short I ran into her baby daddy. He had mutual friends with my cousins. I noticed he was hiding her child but bragging about his other child (it sort of pissed me off, because my friend was 5mths already at the time), so I took it upon myself to tell him he needs to check on her, and that him letting her attitude stop him from checking on her and the baby is not a good enough reason. I told him it??s not like she doesn??t have a right to have an attitude and he should not let that stop him from checking up on his child. She felt like I had too many words for him, and it made her feel some type of way so she decided we shouldn??t be friends anymore. I reached out twice telling her it was petty and that I cared about her, but still no response. Then when I found out she was bad mouthing me to my family, I gave up and said forget her.
That was almost 2 years ago. She used to like this guy when we were fresh out of high school over 6 years ago. We all went to middle school and high-school together. We were like 17 I think, and they went out for like 2 months and she dumped him for someone else. The guy she dumped him for cheated on her so she tried to get back with the other dude, but he knew what was up and wouldn??t take her back. For some months she was always trying to talk to him and start back kicking it with him, but he never would let her. They never had sex and kissed like maybe once.
I mentioned to her on more than one occasion that he asked for my number and would try to flirt with me. I don??t know if she ever checked him or not because he continued. I never responded out of respect for our friendship. Now that she and I are not friends, and haven??t been for 2 years he has went into full pursuit mode. I want to know what yall think about it all??_They only dated for 2 months, never did anything sexual, and that was almost 6 years ago. She and I haven??t been friends for 2yrs going on 3. Is it wrong to let him pursue me? I??ve gotten mixed answers from family and friends, so here I am smile
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Oh darling, being a typical Libra thinking about what others would think first instead of asking yourself what you want to happen. Lemme ask you now,
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN? Do you like this guy? Do you feel something for him? Do you think it's worth exploring those feelings? Are you emotionally available right now?
Are you sure whatever they had in the past is truly over? If it is, then don't worry about it. It's been 6 years ago since they had a relationship. It's a short one that didn't really flourish so why worry about that? It's part of the past so leave it where it belongs.
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Do they have kids together or anything that ties them together or do they have any form of relationship right now? I only asked because if in case you do end up dating this guy, I know at the back of your head, you'd still feel uncomfortable being with this guy and her in the same room (at least at the beginning of the relationship). Eventually I guess you'd realize and accept there's nothing to feel guilty about. It's not like you were flirting with this guy while they were still together.
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Kids? Oh no. lol. We were only 17 when they dated. We are all now 26, well they are I don??t turn 26 until the end of September.lol.
You are right, they don??t have any ties or anything like that. I was just wondering. I do like him, I??ve liked him for a while all the way back when he first started attempting but I would always ignore him because of her.
I wouldn??t mind seeing where it could go, but he??s a Gemini so you already know whats up.lol. MUST be cautious here.
For some reason I keep landing Gems. I don??t know why. This is like the 3rd one this summer. Lol.
As far as us all being in the same room, I don??t see that happening unless we all end up at the same club, movie theater, or restaurant. She wouldn??t say anything to me or him directly. She might speak to him to be funny, but she wont say anything to me. She??s going to act out though if she finds out no matter how long ago it was. I can bet she will probably make facebook status about me and stuff but that??s about as far as she would take it. I think.
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So you think he??s forbidden? Got it.
Lol. I think that??s a little extreme, but I can see why some would think that.
They basically dated when we weren??t even legal.
Thanks for the response tho.
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Posted by tiziani
To me, it's foreign that you would change your approach based on who you're friends with

If I was seriously interested in someone I would go for it regardless of their circumstances and I would confront and be honest with everyone that that is what I'm going to do.

If you're only lightly interested in seeing where it goes for the sake of it, it's probably not worth the headache of even getting involved at all. I'd avoid the entire thing.


Hmm. I didn??t look it at like that.
Thanks.
The reason I didn??t confront it then is because when she and I were friends she was always insecure that her guys had a thing for me. She would??ve been pissed, even if they only went on one date and she decided she didn??t like the guy she??d still be pissed that he tried to talk to me so it really wouldn??t matter.
I didn??t entertain it then because she and I were friends and I knew how she would react and it wasn??t worth our friendship.
Now that she and I are not friends and haven??t been for a while, I??m thinking why not. I just wanted others opinion on it.
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Posted by peritwinkle
I don't know... why would you even be asking the question if you didn't think something was up with the situation?


I asked for opinions, not advice. There??s a difference.
I??m not sure what you mean by ???something is up?? with the situation.
I wrote the post to get a take on what others would do, not for them to tell me what to do.
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Also Tiz,
I don??t know what you mean by lightly interested?
I??m just interested. That??s why I wanted to know what others think of me letting the guy pursue me.
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Posted by pinklibra
Hmm. I didn??t look it at like that.




I've read a lot of posts you make on threads ... and I can't recall any time that you looked at situations rationally.
So, for you to say the above is redundant.
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Posted by pinklibra
I asked for opinions, not advice.




That ^^^^^^^^ is in fact, a lie.
In the OP, the following quote is your only question ...
Posted by pinklibra
Is it wrong to let him pursue me?



And below, from the OP, is a statement referencing an inquiry ....

Posted by pinklibra
I want to know what yall think about it all??_

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So, then, it appears you can't handle what other people have to say ... eventhough you are the one who invited them to tell you what they think, which is what you were suggesting they do.
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You can't even keep track of what you say ...

lol


:::: shakes head ::::
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by pinklibra
Also Tiz,
I don??t know what you mean by lightly interested?
I??m just interested. That??s why I wanted to know what others think of me letting the guy pursue me.



It's just how I see things in my own life. To me "letting the guy pursue me" says light interest. Like you could live without it if you had to. So my logic = live without it. It's not worth the stress.
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Ohhh okay. No I said ???let him pursue me?? because in the past I wouldn??t out of respect for her. But now that she and I are not friends, I would like to date him, to see where it would go.
Where do you think stress would come from?
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by pinklibra
Posted by tiziani
Posted by pinklibra
Also Tiz,
I don??t know what you mean by lightly interested?
I??m just interested. That??s why I wanted to know what others think of me letting the guy pursue me.



It's just how I see things in my own life. To me "letting the guy pursue me" says light interest. Like you could live without it if you had to. So my logic = live without it. It's not worth the stress.


Ohhh okay. No I said ???let him pursue me?? because in the past I wouldn??t out of respect for her. But now that she and I are not friends, I would like to date him, to see where it would go.
Where do you think stress would come from?




From wondering if you're doing the right thing + worrying if there's going to be a reaction once people find out etc.
click to expand


Hmm. I suppose your right. Guess i have some thinking to do. Oh goody.lol
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Posted by pinklibra
So you think he??s forbidden? Got it.
Lol. I think that??s a little extreme, but I can see why some would think that.
They basically dated when we weren??t even legal.
Thanks for the response tho.



What the hell is it with you women that come to these forums ask a question and then criticize the people who answer because YOU DON'T LIKE THE ANSWER???? smfh
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Here's my answer...
You butted into her private business and she dropped the friendship.
Do you really think she gives a rats ass if you butt in again for her sloppy seconds?
I wouldn't.
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Who cares? That was high school and ages ago. Things have changed and you aren't friends with that chick anymore. Doesn't matter. Do whatever you decide to do.
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This has libra written all over it...make excuses after hearing what they DONT want to hear...*rolls eyes*
your breaking girl code reguardless too many people in the world I think you know he is temporary unless you see yourself marrying the guy date other people not your friends left overs!
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Posted by Octoberbaby91
This has libra written all over it...make excuses after hearing what they DONT want to hear...*rolls eyes*
your breaking girl code reguardless too many people in the world I think you know he is temporary unless you see yourself marrying the guy date other people not your friends left overs!


First, learn to spell, honey.
Two, wtf are you smoking?
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How are you going to correct me when I stated it correctly I spelled "too" right the way the sentence is. Nadi proper English you fool!
"TOO many people in the world" no where I should use two maybe you read it TOO fast.
ignorance is bliss Winking
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Posted by Octoberbaby91
How are you going to correct me when I stated it correctly I spelled "too" right the way the sentence is. Nadi proper English you fool!
"TOO many people in the world" no where I should use two maybe you read it TOO fast.
ignorance is bliss Winking


She never said you spelled "too" wrong. She was simply listing what she had to say. Completely unrelated to your grammar/spelling mishaps. However, you spelled regardless wrong and used the word "your" incorrectly. Sh_t happens, y'know.
Posted by Octoberbaby91
This has libra written all over it...make excuses after hearing what they DONT want to hear...*rolls eyes*
your breaking girl code reguardless too many people in the world I think you know he is temporary unless you see yourself marrying the guy date other people not your friends left overs!
click to expand

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Posted by AriesIntrovert16
Posted by Octoberbaby91
How are you going to correct me when I stated it correctly I spelled "too" right the way the sentence is. Nadi proper English you fool!
"TOO many people in the world" no where I should use two maybe you read it TOO fast.
ignorance is bliss Winking


She never said you spelled "too" wrong. She was simply listing what she had to say. Completely unrelated to your grammar/spelling mishaps. However, you spelled regardless wrong and used the word "your" incorrectly. Sh_t happens, y'know.
Posted by Octoberbaby91
This has libra written all over it...make excuses after hearing what they DONT want to hear...*rolls eyes*
your breaking girl code reguardless too many people in the world I think you know he is temporary unless you see yourself marrying the guy date other people not your friends left overs!


click to expand



That was some pretty awful comprehension on her part, haha.
Pretty epic, though. Comes in, stupidly criticizes the OP, and then can't even comprehend what's being said to her. Total fail.
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Posted by Octoberbaby91
How are you going to correct me when I stated it correctly I spelled "too" right the way the sentence is. Nadi proper English you fool!
"TOO many people in the world" no where I should use two maybe you read it TOO fast.
ignorance is bliss Winking


Yes. You clearly live by these words...
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