Question reguarding Aires
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by VirginalScorpion on Saturday, September 16, 2017 and has 1 replies.
Hello,
I'm new here. I suppose I'm kind of reaching in hopes that I'll get an answer different from what I think I already know.
First things first. I am a female Virgo with Scorpio moon and rising. I tend to think I'm pretty atypical as a Virgo (super messy). The man in question is an Aires sun sign. Unknown on the moon or ascending.
About a year and a half ago I got slopy drunk and ended up having what I figured was a one night stand with the afore mentioned Aires. I was all set to leave it in the tunnel by the bar, and never see him again. As it turns out we know some of the same people. A friend who was out with me that night took it upon herself to track him down on facebook. Figuring we might run in to eachother again and not wanting it to be a thing I contacted him. Not very interesting parts truncated, we're still casually sleeping together.
He's got classes, no car, and is living with his folks until he finishes college. I have a full time job, work a lot of over time, and live about 40 minutes away from him. So depending on how busy we both are, and if he has a funcioning vehicle, we see eachother every couple of weeks, or every couple of months. I try to reach out just to check in with him, see how he's doing. I usually get something along the lines of "fine, good". I can't think of a time that he's done the same. If I hear from him usually it's to meet up. When we see eachother we do have conversations, but he is usually itching to go within a few hours of getting off.
He has always maintained that he is not interested in a relationship with me or anyone because he's focused on his education and eventual career, and also because he's not in a position to accomodate such things as dates, or spending a lot of time with someone. He has told me that his last girlfriend was over 3 years ago. That he cheated on her. That she hates him. He is still pretty distraught over that. Calls her the one that got away. When I ask why he did it, he has said he thinks it's because of his temper. (I didn't really understand that until I started reading about Aires...) He's told me that after her he turned in to a slut. In the first several months knowing him I got cut off about 4 times. Him saying he didn't want to be a whore anymore. That it's tiring. That he didn't want to use me for sex. That we could still be friends. I'd tell him I was fine with friends. We'd try to make friendly plans but would end up sleeping together anyway, him being the initiator. Finaly I really tried not to give in. He seemed really very upset over the fact that it kept happening. So I told him that I wouldn't instigate it, and that if he did I would tell him 'no', and I meant it. We made plans. I thought maybe we would go out since apparently we can't be alone with out acting like bunnies in heat. But neither of us really had the money to go anyplace. So I put on a movie and sat as far from him as I could. That didn't work. Part way through he's got his arm around me and my head on his chest giving me google eyes everytime I dared peek up at him. I reminded him that I wasn't supposed to let it happen. He said he could be ok with fwb. It happened. He hasn't tried to cut me off again.
This is getting long. I apologise. I'll try to wrap it up.
He's made some contridictory statements and actions which make me think he is either confused about what he feels/wants from me or he's maybe trying to maintain his sure thing. I honestly dont know. He's never been one to mince words or not say exactly what he means. It's one of the thing's I like most about him. But he acts jealous of my old (male) room mate. If not for other thongs I would write that off as him just being male and not wanting anyone else playing with his toys. but theres veen other things. He used to tell me that he hasn't been with anoyone else. He hasn't said that in a while and I'm not about to ask.... He's asked me to stay over when his family is gone, telling me he's never had anyone stay over before. Then seemed really uncomfortable with it, so I told him that I could leave, and he didn't ask me not to, so I did. I stayed over last christmas eve only to wake up alone, and take an uber home because he was nowhere to be found. turned out he went to sleep with his dog in another room. I gathered that the dog wanted to be with him and either he thought she would be disinclined to sleep with me or I her. He did apologise. But still not the best feeling. He's spent the night at my place but is still always seemingly eager to run off. He does always have a valid reason. Some prior engagement, or obligation. We do not cuddle. It's like an unspoken rule to avoid getting too attached. or I thought it was anyway. Maybe that was just me. Last time he was over he wanted cuddles. The same night In the span of maybe 30 minutes he went from asking me if I was talking to any one else (because, is that what were doing now? Talking?) and telling me he's been chatting with like 3 girls from tinder, one being a fat asian girl, another being kind of androgynous (but that's ok) and living about 3 hours away by public transit or in freeway traffic. Both being really cool to talk to. To "fuck that then I'm just going to stay focused on school and getting a good job." To me talking about plans I have for moving 8 hours South and starting a business with a feiend, and him saying that maybe by the time that happens he'll be done with school and he could come with. Just what in the entire fuck? The more I thought about it. The more it upset me because turns out I actually like the confusing little shit. So, while I fully respect that he doesn't want a relationship and I went in to this knowing that and agreed to those terms. It occurred to me that I'm sitting here getting feels while he's talking to who the heck ever on tinder, and maybe I should cut it off before I actually hurt myself. So in not so many words I told him as much. I haven't seen him since. We've tried to get together a few times but due to the scheduling and transportation issues mentioed already it hasnt happened. If we do see eachother I'm certain we'll end up fucking since neither of us seem to have much self control or stregth of resolve.
So, with that terribly long back story I guess I'm hoping that some one can tell me / help me figure out wtf is going on here (because while i feel like sometimes I'm getting mixed signals mostly I think he's just not that in to me) /how or if I should proceed.
Thank you for reading all that if you did, and any advise/words of wisdom you can offer.
(apologies of this posted twice or if there was a previous partial posting.)
I'm new here. I suppose I'm kind of reaching in hopes that I'll get an answer different from what I think I already know.
First things first. I am a female Virgo with Scorpio moon and rising. I tend to think I'm pretty atypical as a Virgo (super messy). The man in question is an Aires sun sign. Unknown on the moon or ascending.
About a year and a half ago I got slopy drunk and ended up having what I figured was a one night stand with the afore mentioned Aires. I was all set to leave it in the tunnel by the bar, and never see him again. As it turns out we know some of the same people. A friend who was out with me that night took it upon herself to track him down on facebook. Figuring we might run in to eachother again and not wanting it to be a thing I contacted him. Not very interesting parts truncated, we're still casually sleeping together.
He's got classes, no car, and is living with his folks until he finishes college. I have a full time job, work a lot of over time, and live about 40 minutes away from him. So depending on how busy we both are, and if he has a funcioning vehicle, we see eachother every couple of weeks, or every couple of months. I try to reach out just to check in with him, see how he's doing. I usually get something along the lines of "fine, good". I can't think of a time that he's done the same. If I hear from him usually it's to meet up. When we see eachother we do have conversations, but he is usually itching to go within a few hours of getting off.
He has always maintained that he is not interested in a relationship with me or anyone because he's focused on his education and eventual career, and also because he's not in a position to accomodate such things as dates, or spending a lot of time with someone. He has told me that his last girlfriend was over 3 years ago. That he cheated on her. That she hates him. He is still pretty distraught over that. Calls her the one that got away. When I ask why he did it, he has said he thinks it's because of his temper. (I didn't really understand that until I started reading about Aires...) He's told me that after her he turned in to a slut. In the first several months knowing him I got cut off about 4 times. Him saying he didn't want to be a whore anymore. That it's tiring. That he didn't want to use me for sex. That we could still be friends. I'd tell him I was fine with friends. We'd try to make friendly plans but would end up sleeping together anyway, him being the initiator. Finaly I really tried not to give in. He seemed really very upset over the fact that it kept happening. So I told him that I wouldn't instigate it, and that if he did I would tell him 'no', and I meant it. We made plans. I thought maybe we would go out since apparently we can't be alone with out acting like bunnies in heat. But neither of us really had the money to go anyplace. So I put on a movie and sat as far from him as I could. That didn't work. Part way through he's got his arm around me and my head on his chest giving me google eyes everytime I dared peek up at him. I reminded him that I wasn't supposed to let it happen. He said he could be ok with fwb. It happened. He hasn't tried to cut me off again.
This is getting long. I apologise. I'll try to wrap it up.
He's made some contridictory statements and actions which make me think he is either confused about what he feels/wants from me or he's maybe trying to maintain his sure thing. I honestly dont know. He's never been one to mince words or not say exactly what he means. It's one of the thing's I like most about him. But he acts jealous of my old (male) room mate. If not for other thongs I would write that off as him just being male and not wanting anyone else playing with his toys. but theres veen other things. He used to tell me that he hasn't been with anoyone else. He hasn't said that in a while and I'm not about to ask.... He's asked me to stay over when his family is gone, telling me he's never had anyone stay over before. Then seemed really uncomfortable with it, so I told him that I could leave, and he didn't ask me not to, so I did. I stayed over last christmas eve only to wake up alone, and take an uber home because he was nowhere to be found. turned out he went to sleep with his dog in another room. I gathered that the dog wanted to be with him and either he thought she would be disinclined to sleep with me or I her. He did apologise. But still not the best feeling. He's spent the night at my place but is still always seemingly eager to run off. He does always have a valid reason. Some prior engagement, or obligation. We do not cuddle. It's like an unspoken rule to avoid getting too attached. or I thought it was anyway. Maybe that was just me. Last time he was over he wanted cuddles. The same night In the span of maybe 30 minutes he went from asking me if I was talking to any one else (because, is that what were doing now? Talking?) and telling me he's been chatting with like 3 girls from tinder, one being a fat asian girl, another being kind of androgynous (but that's ok) and living about 3 hours away by public transit or in freeway traffic. Both being really cool to talk to. To "fuck that then I'm just going to stay focused on school and getting a good job." To me talking about plans I have for moving 8 hours South and starting a business with a feiend, and him saying that maybe by the time that happens he'll be done with school and he could come with. Just what in the entire fuck? The more I thought about it. The more it upset me because turns out I actually like the confusing little shit. So, while I fully respect that he doesn't want a relationship and I went in to this knowing that and agreed to those terms. It occurred to me that I'm sitting here getting feels while he's talking to who the heck ever on tinder, and maybe I should cut it off before I actually hurt myself. So in not so many words I told him as much. I haven't seen him since. We've tried to get together a few times but due to the scheduling and transportation issues mentioed already it hasnt happened. If we do see eachother I'm certain we'll end up fucking since neither of us seem to have much self control or stregth of resolve.
So, with that terribly long back story I guess I'm hoping that some one can tell me / help me figure out wtf is going on here (because while i feel like sometimes I'm getting mixed signals mostly I think he's just not that in to me) /how or if I should proceed.
Thank you for reading all that if you did, and any advise/words of wisdom you can offer.
(apologies of this posted twice or if there was a previous partial posting.)
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