Scorpio man & Aries female. Disrespect?
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by feistychihuahua on Monday, July 1, 2013 and has 17 replies.
I am an Aries female and I have been 'talking' to a Scorpio man for about a week now. We have known each other/been friends for about 3 years, but just recently took another step. We have good chemistry - even when we weren't together, people assumed we were every time we went someplace together. Here's the problem: I feel a bit disrespected, and he doesn't see how/why.
For one, he promised to take me someplace and never did because he was 'too tired'. When I tried to explain to him that if a promise is made, it needs to be kept, he proceeded to pin things on me by saying, "well if you want to be 'just friends' then I guess that's on you." No. I just want you to understand why I'm feeling disrespected. He doesn't seem to comprehend, though. Two, during the midst of this conversation, he decided to turn on a game. Again, I tried to explain how that's disrespectful, because apparently he doesn't understand when/why I feel disrespected. He then asked me if I would drive him to the store. "Excuse me, [Scorpio], but you do realize we are in the middle of a conversation right now, and the whole reason we're in this conversation is because you disrespected me by making a promise and not keeping it. Now you're interrupting the conversation to ask me to do the same thing for you that you wouldn't do for me yesterday? Can you not see how THAT is disrespectful?"
He just told me to forget it, he would find somebody else to drive him. He was done with the conversation because he wanted to sleep, and we would pick up on it 'tomorrow'. I told him that if the conversation ended there, I'm not sure that I would be picking it up again with him. He just said, "Well, that will be on you then."
I picked up my bag, I walked out.
So here I am. Run from the friendship? Run from the relationship? He's not a bad guy, but he's very stubborn. Note that he was the one who initiated anything 'more' happening between us because he 'hadn't felt this way about a woman in a long time'. I don't really have any reason to doubt his words, but his actions just scream "run" and he doesn't seem to understand. He is also very full of pride, so even if he did begin to understand, I'm not sure that he would even admit that to me or apologize.
Three years as friends, great. One week as a couple, awesome + this at the same time... Lord have mercy.
For one, he promised to take me someplace and never did because he was 'too tired'. When I tried to explain to him that if a promise is made, it needs to be kept, he proceeded to pin things on me by saying, "well if you want to be 'just friends' then I guess that's on you." No. I just want you to understand why I'm feeling disrespected. He doesn't seem to comprehend, though. Two, during the midst of this conversation, he decided to turn on a game. Again, I tried to explain how that's disrespectful, because apparently he doesn't understand when/why I feel disrespected. He then asked me if I would drive him to the store. "Excuse me, [Scorpio], but you do realize we are in the middle of a conversation right now, and the whole reason we're in this conversation is because you disrespected me by making a promise and not keeping it. Now you're interrupting the conversation to ask me to do the same thing for you that you wouldn't do for me yesterday? Can you not see how THAT is disrespectful?"
He just told me to forget it, he would find somebody else to drive him. He was done with the conversation because he wanted to sleep, and we would pick up on it 'tomorrow'. I told him that if the conversation ended there, I'm not sure that I would be picking it up again with him. He just said, "Well, that will be on you then."
I picked up my bag, I walked out.
So here I am. Run from the friendship? Run from the relationship? He's not a bad guy, but he's very stubborn. Note that he was the one who initiated anything 'more' happening between us because he 'hadn't felt this way about a woman in a long time'. I don't really have any reason to doubt his words, but his actions just scream "run" and he doesn't seem to understand. He is also very full of pride, so even if he did begin to understand, I'm not sure that he would even admit that to me or apologize.
Three years as friends, great. One week as a couple, awesome + this at the same time... Lord have mercy.
girl do you even have to ask....
he is telling you with both his actions and words that he doesnt care about you or your feelings...he also sounds very rude...he keeps testing the limits it seems...call his bluff and cut that sucker off.
he is telling you with both his actions and words that he doesnt care about you or your feelings...he also sounds very rude...he keeps testing the limits it seems...call his bluff and cut that sucker off.
he basically dismissed you...thats fucked p up
who does he think he is
who does he think he is
And those are my plans - to just cut it off. It pisses me off that he refuses to see my point though, not going to lie. He has good qualities, but I don't think they're good enough for a full-blown relationship. As said, he is just very full of pride, and everything has to be his way or no way. He acts this way with his own mother - will continue telling her "no" until he gets his own way.
Keep it at a friendship and nothing more. Then maybe you won't have certain expectations from him so when he fails you won't be disappointed. You had a friendship for 3 years; was he this way then? Or maybe because you weren't "more" you didn't think it important he keep promises then? I'm thinking if there wasn't a problem then, there shouldn't be a problem now...*shrug*
True, maybe. Well, he never made promises during the friendship, so I couldn't really say whether or not they would even be broken on a friendship level.
when my friends say they will do something...I can usually count on them...and if they flake they will let me know why and make it up to me...if this dude is unwilling to do so then is he really ya friend?
I've learned over the years to temper my words when dealing with friendships and relationships. Instead of sayin he disrespected you, it may have been better to say you were hurt.
saying*
Posted by wateryram80
I've learned over the years to temper my words when dealing with friendships and relationships. Instead of sayin he disrespected you, it may have been better to say you were hurt.
i agree...its doesnt sounds so much like disrespect but he doesnt sound like he cares either
I told him I was hurt, too - because I actually was. I didn't expect him to not show any care at all, and I was disappointed in myself for assuming that I could get involved again. I've been single for 4 years now. I've done well at keeping my emotions in check and walking away from no-good men. Life has been simple. I was dumb to assume things could be different now, with him.
Thanks. He was the one who even initiated us being more than friends, saying that he hadn't felt that strongly about a woman since his ex-wife from several years ago. It's really whatever. My standards, and being involved with a couple of men like that in the past, won't allow me to do a relationship like that. That's why I walked out. I'm not even sure I want the friendship anymore at this point, because the promise he made about the place we were supposed to go - well, it was actually pretty important. I would rather not get into the details on that, but it was important, and he knew it too.
Posted by feistychihuahua
I told him I was hurt, too - because I actually was. I didn't expect him to not show any care at all, and I was disappointed in myself for assuming that I could get involved again. I've been single for 4 years now. I've done well at keeping my emotions in check and walking away from no-good men. Life has been simple. I was dumb to assume things could be different now, with him.
I hear you. You still have so much time though to meet a good guy. You were right to walk away now if this was a very important thing that he flaked on. He will most likely continue to do that. I thought it was just a date but if it was something major, he really messed up by not coming through. Being "too tired" is a lame excuse too. It would have been ok for dinner, but not something important. Especially if you were friends before this.
I wouldn't have thrown a fuss over something minor, like dinner. But as said, this was an important promise. I ended up taking myself there after leaving his place last night, and he sent me a text about an hour ago asking if I went and did what I needed to do last night. As of now, I can't even bring myself to feel anything other than slight annoyance, but more nonchalant than anything. A part of me wants to be pissed and call him every name in the book, and a part of me wants him to know once again how pathetic his actions were and how he hurt me. But I'm completely nonchalant. I can't even bring myself to throw out the energy to tell him anything, because I know it wouldn't matter in the end anyways.
Nearly 28 years old and has even been married in the past. You would think he would know how to be somewhat of a man.
Nearly 28 years old and has even been married in the past. You would think he would know how to be somewhat of a man.
+1 to what all the ladies said here...you sound like your head is in the right place...you will be ok.
Thank you; admittedly, though, I am perfectly happy being single. My primary focus is on advancing my career - but I guess for a minute I thought a "good friend" might be worth something. You're right, though - I was right to walk away. New information in: he was supposed to phone me at 8pm this last Saturday, and didn't do so until 10:30pm because he was "at the gym" and the workout lasted "longer than usual because a lot of people were there." I found out last night, from two sources, that he was actually out at a bar during that time period - not the gym.
I think I lucked out by walking away from this one when I did, and I'm not sure that there is any potential left for a friendship. Liars don't deserve my respect, or time.
I think I lucked out by walking away from this one when I did, and I'm not sure that there is any potential left for a friendship. Liars don't deserve my respect, or time.
blah, blah, blah, blah
you act like you're worth more than how he treated you ... then you come in here to give it credit by continuing to feel it .... if you were really worth more, than you would have stricken this from your mind.
You haven't .... you're still asking why, why, why .... as if to say his disrespect is worthy of your thinking about it.
If you really want to be better, as you attempt to tell us .... then act like it = delete this thread, delete his memory, then step the fuck aside and let everything about him pass unnoticed
you act like you're worth more than how he treated you ... then you come in here to give it credit by continuing to feel it .... if you were really worth more, than you would have stricken this from your mind.
You haven't .... you're still asking why, why, why .... as if to say his disrespect is worthy of your thinking about it.
If you really want to be better, as you attempt to tell us .... then act like it = delete this thread, delete his memory, then step the fuck aside and let everything about him pass unnoticed
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