Scorpio with a few issues that require your help.
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by chopinlover on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 and has 18 replies.
Hello, I just registered here for this single question that's been bugging my life inimaginably.
Let's start with a little about myself.
I have 3 planets in Scorpio, my sun, mars, and pluto.
Maybe I am what I am because astrology works, maybe I am what I am because I read about how a scorpio should be and subcounsciously decided to be just like what that text said.
But that's irrelevant so let's get to the problem:
I have a very hard time in romantic relatioships.
Why ?
Because once I'm in love, I give myself entirely.It always has to be all or nothing.I am insanely obsessive (if I don't speak to her twice a day, know everything she's done everyone she's been with I FREAK OUT)
I have to know each and every secret of my lover, it's innaceptable to me if she is hiding things (even though I could write an endless list of my own secrets -so ironic-), I am very demanding both sexually and emotionally, and I get offended VERY VERY VERY easily.
All my ex's say I am just too sensitive (Here's an example: I once got very mad at a girl I had been with for a whole year -such good memories- because I didn't like the "tone" of her voice when she said "_ love you" on the phone."You don't love me, do you ? I had shouted.)
Now that I think about it it just seems stupid.
I also was terrified of how much I trusted this girl, so I had made her think I didn't, because I was scared she would realise I never trusted anyone quite as much as her.And then take me for granted.
I do realise some of these things are pretty stupid, stupid behaviour.
But something in me tells me that maybe I just don't want to have a calm, serene, relationship; I think maybe I have some kind of pleasure in being in a constant state of chaos...
So the question is: Why all these problems ? Is this typical scorpio, and if it is, how do I solve these problems ?
And last but not least: Do you think I want to solve them ?
Scorpios and anyone else are welcome to answer =)
Let's start with a little about myself.
I have 3 planets in Scorpio, my sun, mars, and pluto.
Maybe I am what I am because astrology works, maybe I am what I am because I read about how a scorpio should be and subcounsciously decided to be just like what that text said.
But that's irrelevant so let's get to the problem:
I have a very hard time in romantic relatioships.
Why ?
Because once I'm in love, I give myself entirely.It always has to be all or nothing.I am insanely obsessive (if I don't speak to her twice a day, know everything she's done everyone she's been with I FREAK OUT)
I have to know each and every secret of my lover, it's innaceptable to me if she is hiding things (even though I could write an endless list of my own secrets -so ironic-), I am very demanding both sexually and emotionally, and I get offended VERY VERY VERY easily.
All my ex's say I am just too sensitive (Here's an example: I once got very mad at a girl I had been with for a whole year -such good memories- because I didn't like the "tone" of her voice when she said "_ love you" on the phone."You don't love me, do you ? I had shouted.)
Now that I think about it it just seems stupid.
I also was terrified of how much I trusted this girl, so I had made her think I didn't, because I was scared she would realise I never trusted anyone quite as much as her.And then take me for granted.
I do realise some of these things are pretty stupid, stupid behaviour.
But something in me tells me that maybe I just don't want to have a calm, serene, relationship; I think maybe I have some kind of pleasure in being in a constant state of chaos...
So the question is: Why all these problems ? Is this typical scorpio, and if it is, how do I solve these problems ?
And last but not least: Do you think I want to solve them ?
Scorpios and anyone else are welcome to answer =)
Typical scorpio male IMO.
""Let's start with a little about myself.
I have 3 planets in Scorpio, my sun, mars, and pluto.
Maybe I am what I am because astrology works, maybe I am what I am because I read about how a scorpio should be and subcounsciously decided to be just like what that text said.
But that's irrelevant so let's get to the problem:""
- It's very relevant actually.
I have 3 planets in Scorpio, my sun, mars, and pluto.
Maybe I am what I am because astrology works, maybe I am what I am because I read about how a scorpio should be and subcounsciously decided to be just like what that text said.
But that's irrelevant so let's get to the problem:""
- It's very relevant actually.
"Why do we focus so intensely on our problems? What draws us to them? Why are they so attractive? They have the magnet power of love: somehow we desire our problems; we are in love with them much as we want to get rid of them . . . Problems sustain us -- maybe that's why they don't go away. What would a life be without them? Completely tranquilized and loveless . . . There is a secret love hiding in each problem . . . ."
- James Hillman, *The Essential James Hillman: A Blue Fire,* edited by Thomas Moore
- James Hillman, *The Essential James Hillman: A Blue Fire,* edited by Thomas Moore
4th of November, 1991
And I have a pisces ascendant, sorry for double posting =)
"Do I want to solve them?"
Hmm, interesting question! I was just with a Scorpion guy (a lot older than you) for a few weeks. We were happy together - the most compatible guy I've been out with in many years, in fact. However, he did flag up to me at the beginning of it all that "You'll want to leave. it'll break up, you'll fall out with me, it'll all be dreadful..." etc. He had a bad divorce five years ago, and since then has had relationships, some of which have ended badly (eg nasty texts from the Ex, etc).
Anyway... one night a couple of weeks ago we cuddled, laughed together, chatted... and then the next day he told me he felt pressured, would prefer to 'take a step back and see how it goes'... etc.
I actually think the depth of his feelings frightened him, though I may never know for sure. We are still friends and will remain so. Of course, I read up on Scorpios and certainly their 'need to create drama in a relationship' seems true in this case.
Point being, I'm not sure if he wants to solve his problems. Even as he flagged them up, he said, "Part of me likes being single." He also said things about our long-term future.
So, Scorpio, commitment-phobe or simply a (hu)man? Hard to say! I think we DO tend to pick and choose the traits we identify with, which can make Astrology limiting to our personal growth. However I prefer to use it the other way, to see how much I could/have yet to embrace. (I'm a Virgo with strong Scorp in my chart.) I think you would do well to ask the Scorpios here how they have gone about 'evolving' - something I've been working on my entire life without knowing until recently that it could be a Scorpio Rising thing. I thought EVERYone saw themselves as a work in progress, but they don't!
You are young and this is a mature approach you are taking, so the best of luck with it! You will doubtless get lots of helpful answers on here.
SAV
Hmm, interesting question! I was just with a Scorpion guy (a lot older than you) for a few weeks. We were happy together - the most compatible guy I've been out with in many years, in fact. However, he did flag up to me at the beginning of it all that "You'll want to leave. it'll break up, you'll fall out with me, it'll all be dreadful..." etc. He had a bad divorce five years ago, and since then has had relationships, some of which have ended badly (eg nasty texts from the Ex, etc).
Anyway... one night a couple of weeks ago we cuddled, laughed together, chatted... and then the next day he told me he felt pressured, would prefer to 'take a step back and see how it goes'... etc.
I actually think the depth of his feelings frightened him, though I may never know for sure. We are still friends and will remain so. Of course, I read up on Scorpios and certainly their 'need to create drama in a relationship' seems true in this case.
Point being, I'm not sure if he wants to solve his problems. Even as he flagged them up, he said, "Part of me likes being single." He also said things about our long-term future.
So, Scorpio, commitment-phobe or simply a (hu)man? Hard to say! I think we DO tend to pick and choose the traits we identify with, which can make Astrology limiting to our personal growth. However I prefer to use it the other way, to see how much I could/have yet to embrace. (I'm a Virgo with strong Scorp in my chart.) I think you would do well to ask the Scorpios here how they have gone about 'evolving' - something I've been working on my entire life without knowing until recently that it could be a Scorpio Rising thing. I thought EVERYone saw themselves as a work in progress, but they don't!
You are young and this is a mature approach you are taking, so the best of luck with it! You will doubtless get lots of helpful answers on here.
SAV
Oh, and I'd advise you to read the Scorpio board, and maybe post this same question there!
Keep up with the Chopin - he's seen me through a lot over the years!
Keep up with the Chopin - he's seen me through a lot over the years!
Atlantic myst: City = Istanbul, Turkey
Hour= 1.30 PM
Yes, I've been obsessed about getting answers, but I kind of gave up on thinking that they would come with mere "words"
So I spoke to music
Chopin heard my call, and got me closer to answers with his work =)
I think I can imagine why your old boyfriend said those at the beginning.
Divorce, break up, death of a loved one... its all the same.These things tend to leave scars so deep, that people just end up not dealing with the problem and fool themselves for the rest of their lives... I say us scorpios don't want to live in that illusion.
So the healing takes more time, but its "real" healing, and we evolve when the scars have closed completely, dont you think ? =)
There's a scorpio board ?
Hah.Missed that one.
I'll make sure I read it.
Hour= 1.30 PM
Yes, I've been obsessed about getting answers, but I kind of gave up on thinking that they would come with mere "words"
So I spoke to music
Chopin heard my call, and got me closer to answers with his work =)
I think I can imagine why your old boyfriend said those at the beginning.
Divorce, break up, death of a loved one... its all the same.These things tend to leave scars so deep, that people just end up not dealing with the problem and fool themselves for the rest of their lives... I say us scorpios don't want to live in that illusion.
So the healing takes more time, but its "real" healing, and we evolve when the scars have closed completely, dont you think ? =)
There's a scorpio board ?
Hah.Missed that one.
I'll make sure I read it.
You are freakishly obsessive (more than the average scorp) because your personal planets, i.e. sun AND mars are in the same sign as your pluto. Pluto is a powerful planet...it rules obsessive behaviour explaining why scorps are obsessive by nature (they are ruled by pluto)
I'm like that too...its all or nothing for me, but only when i'm in love. i don't like secrets, but unlike you, i hide my true feelings a lot and no one knows that i'm very very sensitive and very very easily offended....i think we do like the drama because it equals passion to us and you know we thrive off of that. we appear to be so cool and calm on the outside but on the inside we're like bubbling volcanos.....i think that we find ourselves in these relationships with people that don't make us feel secure...but if you show to much emotion than people will think that you're crazy and run away....but if you act nonchalant then they wonder why you don't care enuff..just pick up some hobbies and start hanging out with your friends..have your own life and stop worrying about her...that attracts people too...i think that the scorpio man is much worse than the scorpio woman. i dated one and he was crazy crazy crazy...he scared me...
man up and stop being a little biotch. thats what you should do.
Interesting stuff, I'd like to add that the path to enlightenment can be achieved through self-observation. I do think that scorps in general buy into the mystique of what's said about them to a certain extent (those that are into astrology anyway) although it is still quite fascinating to get to know someone without knowing their sign and then finding out that they are a text book example.
why do you not trust that person? although i've been burned it's just not anyway to live and not trust anymore or be crazy jealous.
"why do you not trust that person? although i've been burned it's just not anyway to live and not trust anymore or be crazy jealous."
Sad, but I'm like this. I just started a new relationship with a Scorp & I think we're both like this actually. I guess when you've had many people look you in the eyes & lies to you over & over again, you learn to not trust what people say right away. It takes time to trust people, especially when your emotions are involved. However once that person has proved to me that I can trust them I'll believe everything they say & my possessivness fades.
Sad, but I'm like this. I just started a new relationship with a Scorp & I think we're both like this actually. I guess when you've had many people look you in the eyes & lies to you over & over again, you learn to not trust what people say right away. It takes time to trust people, especially when your emotions are involved. However once that person has proved to me that I can trust them I'll believe everything they say & my possessivness fades.
Take Medication :-)
chopinlover: what is your ascendant/rising sign? Where is Pluto and mars (rulers of your sun sign) in your chart? This will help you to understand you.
Chopinlover, I sympathies with you coz being a Scorpio myslef, I tend to get very offended even by the 'imaginary' indifference that I feel in my partner's voice! I don't show it so much by openly being offended though! I show it subtley like by ignoring them for a lil while (even like 10mins would get my partner thinking that I don't love him anymore!)or am being distant.
But I hate it when asked wat's wrong coz I don't wanna admit tht their moods can have such great impact on me! It scares me to think they'd know that I love them a lot and can't imagine being without them (for a while that is! Coz whn I break up with them for one reason or another, I still manage to stand alone and strong! Funny, I wonder how I manage to do it!??)
I dated a Scorpio guy once and he would also create dramas and scenes (plus me too so we had double drama going on there!) but he was always the one to come after me and make up..obsessively EVERY TIME. Our 'reunion' was almost always followed by a few hours of passionate sex and cuddles later on.. HE admitted once to me that he does this coz to him our 'unique reunion' is EXCITING and worth it afterwards!!
But as much as I loved him ( I felt back then) I knew it was gonna get scarier with time coz he was possessive and demanding..so I had to leave him (not without hassles though coz he pursued me for a year afterwards!) He finally backed off when he saw me out with another guy (the story with this other guy is another crazy heck of a story but that is besides the point rite now!!)He still speaks to me if we happen to ever meet somewhere ( which I try to avoid) but I still see that maddening passion in his eyes the way he looks at me with those hungry eyes..almost gives me the shivers!
Yeah, so we scorpions are a bit strangely tuned, LOL! We need someone who is very stable and trustworthy and who'd calm our deep-rooted fears of being used or, most importantly, UNLOVED and nonreciprocating affections from the other!
But I hate it when asked wat's wrong coz I don't wanna admit tht their moods can have such great impact on me! It scares me to think they'd know that I love them a lot and can't imagine being without them (for a while that is! Coz whn I break up with them for one reason or another, I still manage to stand alone and strong! Funny, I wonder how I manage to do it!??)
I dated a Scorpio guy once and he would also create dramas and scenes (plus me too so we had double drama going on there!) but he was always the one to come after me and make up..obsessively EVERY TIME. Our 'reunion' was almost always followed by a few hours of passionate sex and cuddles later on.. HE admitted once to me that he does this coz to him our 'unique reunion' is EXCITING and worth it afterwards!!
But as much as I loved him ( I felt back then) I knew it was gonna get scarier with time coz he was possessive and demanding..so I had to leave him (not without hassles though coz he pursued me for a year afterwards!) He finally backed off when he saw me out with another guy (the story with this other guy is another crazy heck of a story but that is besides the point rite now!!)He still speaks to me if we happen to ever meet somewhere ( which I try to avoid) but I still see that maddening passion in his eyes the way he looks at me with those hungry eyes..almost gives me the shivers!
Yeah, so we scorpions are a bit strangely tuned, LOL! We need someone who is very stable and trustworthy and who'd calm our deep-rooted fears of being used or, most importantly, UNLOVED and nonreciprocating affections from the other!
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