Scorpio Woman confused by Cancer Man
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by sexyscorp19 on Saturday, July 28, 2007 and has 6 replies.
I recently started dating a cancer man, when we first met there were sparks immediately. I was actually really surprised by how well we connected. Well we had sex pretty quickly however during sex he would say things like he wanted to be with only me and wanted to make me happy. When he first said this, I blew it off as "sex talk" but there was something about it that made me think that maybe he was serious when he said it. But I ignored it because anything said during sex can't be taken too seriously. After having sex a few more times and his continuing to say these things to me like calling himself my "boyfriend" one day on the phone I asked him if he was serious when he said those things and he said absolutely, he said that he was very comfortable around me and that it's taken him a while to to meet me. So I thought to myself ok, even though things are going very fast between us since we're both in our mid to late 30's maybe he's just tired of playing "games" and just wants to be upfront with his feelings. We talk most days but eventually every conversation turns sexual, also, every time I see him it's usually at either one of our places and it always ends in sex. I started noticing that we don't see each other on the weekends. This confuses me because that's the time that we could spend some "quality" time together doing something other than having sex. During an argument, I asked him if I was just a sexual thing for him and he said no. I kind of believe him because I stopped speaking to him for about 8 hours and he sent no less than 15 text messages and left voicemails asking me if I was ignoring him and asking me to tell him what was up. But this not seeing him on the weekend thing is confusing to me (granted he sometimes have to work on the weekends and no I don't know his schedule). But no one works all day. So, is this typical behaviour for a cancer male? Does this seem like a test? or, does it seem like I am being used for sex? How do I handle this?
I'd act the same way were I in his shoes. Sometimes cancers don't need any time at all to realize what they want.
Sexyscorp - I am in a somewhat similar situation. I have been dating a Cancer man for almost 4 mos..he kinda pulled away and I had to step back, and its working so far.
My advice to you is to also take a step back. I completly understand where you are coming from. Most women who are really interested in any man, want to spend their free weekends with that man, and want the man to want the same. When this doesnt happen it feels awkard. I think that if this is what you want and for whatever reason he is not giving it to you, you should take a step back and let him make all of the moves for now on, or at least for a little bit. Stop being available on some weekedays...and maybe stop being intimate for a while. Not to punish him, but to give yourself reassurance that you guys are not only in a relationship founded on sex. Put his words that he says while you guys are initimate to the test.
From what i know about Cancer men, while they love sex like the next man, they crave intimacy in other ways. They crave intelligent and provoking conversation, laughter cuddling. They do not really NEED sex to form a relationship or to become attracted to a woman. Sex is like the added plus...good sex is like the cherry on the sundae. But allow the foundation to be about more than sex, and only you can impose that. He will do what you allow him to get away with. So, if you allow him to come over only during the week (not the time that you really want to spend with him) and be intimate, he will do it.
So basically, I think you should just try out being unavailable on some of those weeknights and holding off on the sex, for a bit. Not taking some of his calls acting a little non chalant and just see what happens. Your probably going to have to be the one to break the cycle b/c he is not. Men are creatures of habit and now he is used to what you guys have started. Be strong and break the cycle for yourself, you never know it just may work.
Let me know how everything turns out. Best of luck to you!
My advice to you is to also take a step back. I completly understand where you are coming from. Most women who are really interested in any man, want to spend their free weekends with that man, and want the man to want the same. When this doesnt happen it feels awkard. I think that if this is what you want and for whatever reason he is not giving it to you, you should take a step back and let him make all of the moves for now on, or at least for a little bit. Stop being available on some weekedays...and maybe stop being intimate for a while. Not to punish him, but to give yourself reassurance that you guys are not only in a relationship founded on sex. Put his words that he says while you guys are initimate to the test.
From what i know about Cancer men, while they love sex like the next man, they crave intimacy in other ways. They crave intelligent and provoking conversation, laughter cuddling. They do not really NEED sex to form a relationship or to become attracted to a woman. Sex is like the added plus...good sex is like the cherry on the sundae. But allow the foundation to be about more than sex, and only you can impose that. He will do what you allow him to get away with. So, if you allow him to come over only during the week (not the time that you really want to spend with him) and be intimate, he will do it.
So basically, I think you should just try out being unavailable on some of those weeknights and holding off on the sex, for a bit. Not taking some of his calls acting a little non chalant and just see what happens. Your probably going to have to be the one to break the cycle b/c he is not. Men are creatures of habit and now he is used to what you guys have started. Be strong and break the cycle for yourself, you never know it just may work.
Let me know how everything turns out. Best of luck to you!Btw... I am a Scorpio too.
Moon - Im not saying play games at all....just spice it up a little. Make him kinda work hard. Its human nature to appreciate something more, when you have worked harder for it.
There is nothing wrong with a woman putting herself and her needs first. If sexy continues to allow him to just come over on the weekdays be intimate and that be it, while she is unsatisfied with the situation, she is only cutting herself short and doing a diservive to herself.
I do not doubt at all that his guy cares for her, he probably does, a great deal. But I think Cancer men are a little different from Cancer women. Canecer woman are a little more open and less catious than Cancer men. With Cancer men, you have to take things a little slower and show them that you are your own priority, even though you care deeply for them. They seem to be attracted to strong woman, who arent needy and dependent on them for their comeplete happines.
Aside from all that, if sexy is not happy with the way things are going now, or is confused by the way that things are going now she should do something to make herself happy. Thats all I am saying. Not play games just show him how much she is worth. Show him that she is worth the weekends of his time, and a relationship that is not based on being initmte....thats what it really comes down to. And actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
There is nothing wrong with a woman putting herself and her needs first. If sexy continues to allow him to just come over on the weekdays be intimate and that be it, while she is unsatisfied with the situation, she is only cutting herself short and doing a diservive to herself.
I do not doubt at all that his guy cares for her, he probably does, a great deal. But I think Cancer men are a little different from Cancer women. Canecer woman are a little more open and less catious than Cancer men. With Cancer men, you have to take things a little slower and show them that you are your own priority, even though you care deeply for them. They seem to be attracted to strong woman, who arent needy and dependent on them for their comeplete happines.
Aside from all that, if sexy is not happy with the way things are going now, or is confused by the way that things are going now she should do something to make herself happy. Thats all I am saying. Not play games just show him how much she is worth. Show him that she is worth the weekends of his time, and a relationship that is not based on being initmte....thats what it really comes down to. And actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
Moon - You are simply terrific! But Yea Sexy have fun, be careful and good luck!
But Yea Sexy have fun, be careful and good luck! Related Topics
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