Should I wait to have sex?

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by happykitsune on Wednesday, July 2, 2014 and has 22 replies.
What are your thoughts on this matter? Should people wait? Is it just a moral thing, or is there a bit more to it?
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/07/01/how-delaying-intimacy-can-benefit-your-relationship/
This article really spells it out well in a scientific sense. I'm interested in peoples thoughts regarding this article.
Please read the whole thing
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I think it depends on the individuals and how they function.
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Posted by rockyroadicecream
I think it depends on the individuals and how they function.


Lol that is very vague Tongue
I think some people may have less levels of dopamine or oxytocin depending on how they act with certain situations. That would explain why some people are affected less by sex or intimate moments than others.
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Personal choice.
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You still with your scorp kits?
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Posted by happykitsune
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I think it depends on the individuals and how they function.


Lol that is very vague Tongue
I think some people may have less levels of dopamine or oxytocin depending on how they act with certain situations. That would explain why some people are affected less by sex or intimate moments than others.
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Tbh, I was going to comment with that and then come back to elaborate on the article.
...I got sidetracked, haha.
But on the general scale, it really depends on the individuals because everyone is different. Some can handle more than others when it comes to this, so they may not be concerned about wait times. Others may prefer to wait because they know themselves and either it's a comfort thing or they know how they can get when things happen to fast.
It can also be personal beliefs as well. Some may be societal beliefs. Overall, our society is always on women about waiting on enables guys to move along at whatever pace they want, as they get less consequences for their actions. ...because our society is fucked like that.
Btw, that article is totally tl;dr. :/
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In my honest opinion, you should wait to have sex with someone you really feel deserves you and when you feel the time is right. I am speaking from my personal experience so others may disagree.
I was always ashamed that I was the virgin. A girl in her 20's... never been touched. The way people around me talked about sex and made it seem that it was normal in this generation, and for all those who were still virgins, were like outcasts.
One day, out of no-where because I felt ashamed or not normal.... I lost my virginity to a guy a barely knew. I regret it because I should of never been ashamed of being one. I regret it because of the way I lost it. I was not ready.
Thankfully, that guy ended up being my boyfriend for a few years...
I do not regret losing it to him. I regret for the reasons I lost it for.Have sex when you feel the time is right. smile
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Posted by Sag89
You still with your scorp kits?


Nah and I have decided to take the friend route with everyone now. I'll marry when someone fits more of what I want within the friends I keep.
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@ Rockyroad
Yeah it is a long one. But I think the most notable points about the article are the research done that shows it's just not worth it for those seeking an actual relationship to get into sex before an actual commitment is made. Chemicals in our brain need a certain pattern for it it would seem.
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Posted by limekisses
In my honest opinion, you should wait to have sex with someone you really feel deserves you and when you feel the time is right. I am speaking from my personal experience so others may disagree.
I was always ashamed that I was the virgin. A girl in her 20's... never been touched. The way people around me talked about sex and made it seem that it was normal in this generation, and for all those who were still virgins, were like outcasts.
One day, out of no-where because I felt ashamed or not normal.... I lost my virginity to a guy a barely knew. I regret it because I should of never been ashamed of being one. I regret it because of the way I lost it. I was not ready.
Thankfully, that guy ended up being my boyfriend for a few years...
I do not regret losing it to him. I regret for the reasons I lost it for.Have sex when you feel the time is right. smile


That is a great way of looking at it and I would totally agree smile Of course everyone has their own opinions on the matter, but this holds true for someone like me who is a venus in cap/mars in scorpio, with a scorp moon no less. Although for me I think it's not just the sex, but the fact that I spend so much time getting to know the persons personality and their very soul, only to lose them. The sex is just the cherry on top that makes me feel like I actually gave something up (even if it wasn't my soul or my mind) that is of value to me, only to have the person betray me or become something I no longer can see myself with. Then it just feels like wasted time.
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Posted by happykitsune
Posted by Sag89
You still with your scorp kits?


Nah and I have decided to take the friend route with everyone now. I'll marry when someone fits more of what I want within the friends I keep.
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Got ya
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Posted by happykitsune
@ Rockyroad
Yeah it is a long one. But I think the most notable points about the article are the research done that shows it's just not worth it for those seeking an actual relationship to get into sex before an actual commitment is made. Chemicals in our brain need a certain pattern for it it would seem.


Well yeah. That's why I mentioned those who should know themselves well enough to not get into such situations.
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I don't mind waiting either..but sometimes I start feeling like I am not living life as I should.. but then again. I work two jobs and on my off days I just sleep, eat, clean, and sleep some more.
I also have Venus in Taurus and Mars in Taurus and Pluto in Libra. Oh my...I prefer to.stay home till it's time..to venture out.
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How old are you?
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Taurus wants monogamy...and loyalty. And Taurus fe/males want you to protect yourself .. the males will tell you get on birth control and make sure you get tested every time you have unprotected sex. We should be able to have.sex without condoms. Trust is highly important.
Actually when you meet a Taurus we communicate that point blank and get to know each other and wait for the results.. and all the other signs I have met Want something quickly....and I am not sure if they care. But definitely get protected and buy condoms. No unwanted pregnancies or std from unworthy people.
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...some people put WAY too much value and thought into the act.
I get it if you're not comfortable with hooking up on first dates or when you feel you aren't exclusive with someone yet. But some of these overly thought out reasons... dahell? I think some of you forget that sex is a biological function to procreate. Sometimes hormones just lead you to wanting to get laid and that's it. This trend where some women put their vaginas up on a pedestal and give it shrine status in regard to who gets to play with it is such a mindset beaten into young women's heads too early in life. This mentality does lead to sexual dysfunction. There's even been articles/studies done where women who came from uber religious backgrounds that pushed sex after marriage, ended up with some serious sexual dysfunction because it had been seen so negatively their whole life.
"It's bad if you have sex before marriage. It's bad to think about sex. Sex is bad, mkay?? You will go to hell for natural biological urges, so don't even think about it!"
They get married and can't even have decent sex because of this crap.
To each their own, everyone views it differently, but some do need to calm down on this mindset of your vag being some prize to be won after putting a ring on that finger. Your lady bits will thank you later.
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Well this one Taurus said that to me. Just saying honest people tell you straightforward what they want Taurus male and females...
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Posted by beautifuldiaster
Posted by rockyroadicecream
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Dammit.
No, it wasn't just directed at you. But okay.
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What do you suggest Rocky? Give it up and see if you are compatible afterwards... it works for a year then what?
Move on because the challenge is over...
Not all guys are functional either lets not put blame just on woman and their standards...
It is primal fear of wanting to have sex with a stanger you hardly know too. That's russian roulette..
In real life if the female is not getting what she wants from the male she will go else where.. Even the real King of the Jungle or Cats...If the male does not show what a female is looking for, ( a female knows what they want), then on to the next.
I really believe a woman must be treated right and with respect and in return stay devoted, loyal, and well cared for..
Let's look for something else that would attract me to that other meant to be person or animal. Funny even animals don't compromise they just leave.. and at least we have morals cause some kill over fatal attractions.
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If you can wait please wait. Sex corrupts things to me. In some cases it can bring people closer, but remember everytime you give yourself to someone they take a piece of you and leave a piece of themselves, seriously it's a natural thing that happens that you cant control. That person will always have a part of you and you them. But if you can at least wait for love. Sex is so much better when you love one another for exactly who that person is regardless of how their sex game is. If it's wack you'll still think it's beautiful because you love them just that much, hell you'll buy books take classes whatever if you truly love them. But if you dont then sex will become the basis of the relationship. I just think a bond, friendship, a connection should develop first. Now if your just looking to get laid, then go ahead. Thats different.
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If you have to ask, wait.
It's not going anywhere...
This way you eliminate the users.
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