Someone relate? Aqua girl (me) sag guy

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by HateMeNowIloveit on Sunday, November 10, 2024 and has 22 replies.
Posted by AquaClassy
As a person who grę up with alcoholics, I can tell you just one thing - whatever he says it comes from his sickness, because addiction is sickness, it's often not true it's just him rejecting fact that he has problem with it and you pointing this out.
Second thing is addicted person will reject your help, you won't be able to help if he doesn't want to quit. It's only up to you if you want to stick with him- which may turn against you or you will leave him. If you choose second option, don't feel guilty, it's not your fault he has problem.
I very much do feel responsible. But he used to tell me he drank because of me. So idk what im doing no more.
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You are trying to control him.

Fixed sign issue.

You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.

Set up court visits and live your life

You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.
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Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.
Im stressed out? Im not. You sound just like him, on here telling me how I feel. You a clown too?
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand
Yeah I caught him drinking and driving with my son but was unable to prove it because he made it home before me and the police could catch him. Ive managed to get him to care about it when it involves his son but now hes out in the world drinking and then driving with just himself in the car. Its not funny. The police told me until he gets caught or in a car accident they cant do anything about it, and he gloats about being good at it.
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Posted by AquaClassy
Girl you are and Aqua. You know better
Yeah I have bpd/cptsd/ anxiety/depression I have to work on myself hella hard allllll the time and trust me its hard to fall out of love with someone over night. Its been years and ive tried everything, everything including no contact.
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by AquaClassy
Girl you are and Aqua. You know better


Yeah I have bpd/cptsd/ anxiety/depression I have to work on myself hella hard allllll the time and trust me its hard to fall out of love with someone over night. Its been years and ive tried everything, everything including no contact.
click to expand

Because it's not love. It's attachment and co- addiction. Trust me I know because I grew up in this kind of household.
click to expand
Thats why Im here for inspiration lmao return clown of 200 times😭
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand
It’s not about the alcoholism.

It’s about you not liking what someone else is doing.

If I don’t like what someone is doing, guess what…I leave them alone

You instead had a baby…was he an alcoholic before or after?

If you don’t like the situation, leave it.

You can’t force other people to change. Only you can change.

Or maybe you like having a crazy ass life filled with taboos miss aqua?!

Cause aquas don’t do normal.


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Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


Im stressed out? Im not. You sound just like him, on here telling me how I feel. You a clown too?
click to expand
So if you’re not stressed out what are you complaining about exactly?!

Is there really an issue here?!
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Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by AquaClassy
Girl you are and Aqua. You know better


Yeah I have bpd/cptsd/ anxiety/depression I have to work on myself hella hard allllll the time and trust me its hard to fall out of love with someone over night. Its been years and ive tried everything, everything including no contact.
click to expand
All this sounds like self imposed problems

You can free yourself if you really wanted to
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Posted by DMV
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand

It’s not about the alcoholism.
It’s about you not liking what someone else is doing.
If I don’t like what someone is doing, guess what…I leave them alone
You instead had a baby…was he an alcoholic before or after?
If you don’t like the situation, leave it.
You can’t force other people to change. Only you can change.
Or maybe you like having a crazy ass life filled with taboos miss aqua?!
Cause aquas don’t do normal.


click to expand
This is to the OP
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You’re getting sound advice

Your relationship is a trauma bond

He’s an addict, his choices come from trauma and you have no ability to control or manage them.

Leave, this is a subpar connection built on shared trauma and abuse.

Heal yourself, love yourself and build a loving relationship with YOU. So you won’t ever allow anyone to treat you any less.
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand


Yeah I caught him drinking and driving with my son but was unable to prove it because he made it home before me and the police could catch him. Ive managed to get him to care about it when it involves his son but now hes out in the world drinking and then driving with just himself in the car. Its not funny. The police told me until he gets caught or in a car accident they cant do anything about it, and he gloats about being good at it.
click to expand

Well that's the problem. Addiction aren't treated seriously enough in my opinion.
Leave it before you will get co- addicted. He's driving your son drunk? Why would you let that happened? That's really bad
click to expand
I never let it happen. I called the cops right after he admitted to it. He has 50/50 so he had him and was on the other side of town.
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Posted by AquaClassy
Girl you are and Aqua. You know better


Yeah I have bpd/cptsd/ anxiety/depression I have to work on myself hella hard allllll the time and trust me its hard to fall out of love with someone over night. Its been years and ive tried everything, everything including no contact.
click to expand


Because it's not love. It's attachment and co- addiction. Trust me I know because I grew up in this kind of household.
click to expand


Thats why Im here for inspiration lmao return clown of 200 times😭
click to expand

Girl there is no inspiration needed. You have child and drunk partner. What do you expect? Because as a child of alcoholicsvi can tell you there is nothing good coming out of it. My parents fuckedme for life. I think about your son. I don't know how old he is, but it will altered his life in every regard.
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I know you wanna believe I just sit by while I allow all this to happen, just like the previous comment but ive already taken it to court. Ive done everything I can. The judge told me its already a law in the parenting plan, slapped him on the wrist and told him to listen to me. Im a safe space for my son, and he knows that. I cant just take my son and run away.
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How ever since court he stopped drinking and then driving with my son. So Ill give him credit for that, now he just does it with himself.
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand


It’s not about the alcoholism.
It’s about you not liking what someone else is doing.
If I don’t like what someone is doing, guess what…I leave them alone
You instead had a baby…was he an alcoholic before or after?
If you don’t like the situation, leave it.
You can’t force other people to change. Only you can change.
Or maybe you like having a crazy ass life filled with taboos miss aqua?!
Cause aquas don’t do normal.

click to expand

You just confirmed you don't know much about being with addicted person and how it works. Which is not bad and doesn't make you less. You absolutely right about leaving someone who doesn't meet your standards. But it's for "normal" relationships. But this is not normal situation.
First of all, brain of co- addicted person doesn't work like normal person. Co addiction can be as strong as addiction. It's something that people go over on therapy for years! Astrology has nothing to do with it. My mother is Libra, so no fixed energy and she got co addicted with my alcoholic father. Do you think she likes him? No, there is no love between them.
Second of all having child is something that can really deeply alert your brain, even if the household is unstable, it may still make you believe it's better that child has both parents, not mention other stuff like financial security, being able to work, being able to see your child on daily basis, not feeling like you are someone who can decide on how much contact your child can have with the other parent.

So no, saing - just leave him if you don't like him doesn't help at all in this situation. It's very complicated and mind wrecking.
In my opinion her post here is call for help without actually readyness for changes
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Hey, whatever excuse you wanna use to stay in a unhealthy situation meanwhile complaining about it is between you and your God
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One thing I know about Aquarius and Sagittarius is they both have that fast twitch energy when they react strongly. Notice they both have ''arius'' in it.
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People are not going to change if they don't want to change. I agree with @DMV. You can't control whether he changes or not but you can control whether you stay or not.


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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand


It’s not about the alcoholism.
It’s about you not liking what someone else is doing.
If I don’t like what someone is doing, guess what…I leave them alone
You instead had a baby…was he an alcoholic before or after?
If you don’t like the situation, leave it.
You can’t force other people to change. Only you can change.
Or maybe you like having a crazy ass life filled with taboos miss aqua?!
Cause aquas don’t do normal.

click to expand

You just confirmed you don't know much about being with addicted person and how it works. Which is not bad and doesn't make you less. You absolutely right about leaving someone who doesn't meet your standards. But it's for "normal" relationships. But this is not normal situation.
First of all, brain of co- addicted person doesn't work like normal person. Co addiction can be as strong as addiction. It's something that people go over on therapy for years! Astrology has nothing to do with it. My mother is Libra, so no fixed energy and she got co addicted with my alcoholic father. Do you think she likes him? No, there is no love between them.
Second of all having child is something that can really deeply alert your brain, even if the household is unstable, it may still make you believe it's better that child has both parents, not mention other stuff like financial security, being able to work, being able to see your child on daily basis, not feeling like you are someone who can decide on how much contact your child can have with the other parent.

So no, saing - just leave him if you don't like him doesn't help at all in this situation. It's very complicated and mind wrecking.
In my opinion her post here is call for help without actually readyness for changes
click to expand
I have made immediate changes.

I no longer respond to his argumentive text.

I have had my own place for years now and hes not allowed inside.

My hearts an idiot, my brain how ever is very intelligent. What Im looking for is other people who have been through the same thing and have made it through. I want inspiration, I want to see other people happier. I need to see through other peoples experiences that the sun sets on the other side, and the sun also rises.

It helps me.
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Posted by VenusStellium7
One thing I know about Aquarius and Sagittarius is they both have that fast twitch energy when they react strongly. Notice they both have ''arius'' in it.
I like to say it aquar iASS lol
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Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
Posted by AquaClassy
Posted by DMV
You are trying to control him.
Fixed sign issue.
You can Only control yourself. If you can’t be around it, then you leave.
Set up court visits and live your life
You’re stressed out because you’re trying to control another person.


I disagree. It's not regular problem. This guy is alcoholic and I guess you don't know how it goes with this kind of situation
click to expand


It’s not about the alcoholism.
It’s about you not liking what someone else is doing.
If I don’t like what someone is doing, guess what…I leave them alone
You instead had a baby…was he an alcoholic before or after?
If you don’t like the situation, leave it.
You can’t force other people to change. Only you can change.
Or maybe you like having a crazy ass life filled with taboos miss aqua?!
Cause aquas don’t do normal.

click to expand

You just confirmed you don't know much about being with addicted person and how it works. Which is not bad and doesn't make you less. You absolutely right about leaving someone who doesn't meet your standards. But it's for "normal" relationships. But this is not normal situation.
First of all, brain of co- addicted person doesn't work like normal person. Co addiction can be as strong as addiction. It's something that people go over on therapy for years! Astrology has nothing to do with it. My mother is Libra, so no fixed energy and she got co addicted with my alcoholic father. Do you think she likes him? No, there is no love between them.
Second of all having child is something that can really deeply alert your brain, even if the household is unstable, it may still make you believe it's better that child has both parents, not mention other stuff like financial security, being able to work, being able to see your child on daily basis, not feeling like you are someone who can decide on how much contact your child can have with the other parent.

So no, saing - just leave him if you don't like him doesn't help at all in this situation. It's very complicated and mind wrecking.
In my opinion her post here is call for help without actually readyness for changes
click to expand
Ill agree with that, if you know anything about bpd, we latch onto our partners and idolize them, they become our favorite people. We also have a hard time trusting ourselves. At one point he had me convinced I was the bad guy and I questioned myself every day. He would do crazy things to me and then when I react I would be the bad guy...reactive abuse. That was his favorite thing to do after I had his son. He got really bad ONLY after I had his son. I think it triggered something in him.

I ran from him then and have been keeping my own place since so that way I have a safe space.
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Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Im very sick right now and not able to access myself emotionally right now (its that bad, having blood work done, may have liver issues, tcells low)
I told my sag sun partner when we first got together that i may ask him to choose between me and the alcohol later on, in which I did. He was okay with it back then, as soon as I brought it up, it turned into war.
He told me he wont be with me then. I said cool you made your choice. In came the hate. Everything that he said he changed, suddenly came back to light.
He said I was trying to control him, sure you can look at it that way, but he was a heavy drinker when our son was little, he traumatized the crap out of me, I dont believe there can be a healthy relationship with him, his alcohol and me. It ends terribly. He decided to gas light me and point out everything bad about me instead of have an adult conversation.
Why is it hard for scorpio mercury people to have adult conversations about the trauma they have caused and why is it hard to choose love over addiction?
Im cap mercury and you can confront me about something ive done to hurt or traumatize you (if I had it in me) and i would appologize. I have a pisces moon so my heart is juicy and intune.
Im wasting my time arent I?
He has a virgo moon, so everyone else is the bad guy but never him. If he does admit to doing something messed up he blames it on me or someone else.
He also has a scorpio venus. Im cap venus.
We both have pisces risings.
Someone tell me Im stupid. If youve been through this I love to be inspired by hearing how you were better off alone.
"Someone tell me Im stupid. If youve been through this I love to be inspired by hearing how you were better off alone."

Better off alone? That implies there is and will not be a better partner in the future. Which is very very incorrect. Yes there will🙂

"I told my sag sun partner when we first got together that i may ask him to choose between me and the alcohol later on, in which I did. He was okay with it back then.."

This is incredibly mature of you and smart on so many levels. Also a sense of understanding for him and compassion for yourself by speaking up like this. Im actually implessed👏👏👏

This is 100% on him. He is lashing out because he isn't willing to look inward and the mirror. Unless you intuitively knew he wouldn't be able to or want to, you didn't waste your time, he made his choice. Things didn't work out.

Also not a waste of time if you learned things about yourself and experience for future relationships🫂
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Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by HateMeNowIloveit
Im very sick right now and not able to access myself emotionally right now (its that bad, having blood work done, may have liver issues, tcells low)
I told my sag sun partner when we first got together that i may ask him to choose between me and the alcohol later on, in which I did. He was okay with it back then, as soon as I brought it up, it turned into war.
He told me he wont be with me then. I said cool you made your choice. In came the hate. Everything that he said he changed, suddenly came back to light.
He said I was trying to control him, sure you can look at it that way, but he was a heavy drinker when our son was little, he traumatized the crap out of me, I dont believe there can be a healthy relationship with him, his alcohol and me. It ends terribly. He decided to gas light me and point out everything bad about me instead of have an adult conversation.
Why is it hard for scorpio mercury people to have adult conversations about the trauma they have caused and why is it hard to choose love over addiction?
Im cap mercury and you can confront me about something ive done to hurt or traumatize you (if I had it in me) and i would appologize. I have a pisces moon so my heart is juicy and intune.
Im wasting my time arent I?
He has a virgo moon, so everyone else is the bad guy but never him. If he does admit to doing something messed up he blames it on me or someone else.
He also has a scorpio venus. Im cap venus.
We both have pisces risings.
Someone tell me Im stupid. If youve been through this I love to be inspired by hearing how you were better off alone.


"Someone tell me Im stupid. If youve been through this I love to be inspired by hearing how you were better off alone."
Better off alone? That implies there is and will not be a better partner in the future. Which is very very incorrect. Yes there will🙂
"I told my sag sun partner when we first got together that i may ask him to choose between me and the alcohol later on, in which I did. He was okay with it back then.."
This is incredibly mature of you and smart on so many levels. Also a sense of understanding for him and compassion for yourself by speaking up like this. Im actually implessed👏👏👏
This is 100% on him. He is lashing out because he isn't willing to look inward and the mirror. Unless you intuitively knew he wouldn't be able to or want to, you didn't waste your time, he made his choice. Things didn't work out.
Also not a waste of time if you learned things about yourself and experience for future relationships🫂
click to expand
Im very intelligent and mature. Im doing alot better. I associated his behavior with my fathers and it did something for me. I will give him credit for appologizing and mentioning that he still has work to do on his anger. But Ive been through his anger too many times. I think its niave of me to keep giving chances just to be the punching bag.

He said we can remain friends for our child. Which is fine. Im currently reivaluating the kind of relationship that would be healthy for me, and Im afraid I dont have room for what I was attached to.
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