To Squeal Or Not To Squeal...

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by TMV on Friday, May 30, 2014 and has 21 replies.
A good friend of mine has been seeing a guy that she met online for the last four months or so. He's always appeared very affectionate when they're together, and from what I've seen he's also quite a gentleman. But, being my very Virgo snoopy self, I've been doing some prying to check up on him.
I found his dating profile. And it's still active. He just checked in today.
She thinks they're exclusive...
I don't know if I should say something or not. I don't want to cause problems for them if there's no reason to, but I also don't want to see her get hurt because she's been burned pretty badly in tbe past.
This is seriously upsetting me because I don't know what to think or do. Do you guys think this is a red flag? Or no big deal that I should just let slide?
I know he's a July Cancer with an Aries Moon if tbat helps. I also get very strong Gemini vibes.
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Posted by TMV
A good friend of mine has been seeing a guy that she met online for the last four months or so. He's always appeared very affectionate when they're together, and from what I've seen he's also quite a gentleman. But, being my very Virgo snoopy self, I've been doing some prying to check up on him.
I found his dating profile. And it's still active. He just checked in today.
She thinks they're exclusive...
I don't know if I should say something or not. I don't want to cause problems for them if there's no reason to, but I also don't want to see her get hurt because she's been burned pretty badly in tbe past.
This is seriously upsetting me because I don't know what to think or do. Do you guys think this is a red flag? Or no big deal that I should just let slide?
I know he's a July Cancer with an Aries Moon if tbat helps. I also get very strong Gemini vibes.


I say stay out of it, but if you must....give her some subtle hints...like....ask her if she's removed HER profile from the dating sites..maybe it will prompt her to check and see if he's removed HIS profile from the sites as well. Being noisy worked for you, so maybe it will clue her in too.
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Why? They're just dating. She 'thinks' they're exclusive but unless it was an actual agreement and this concern was voiced out, she's potentially setting herself up for disappointment.
True story, I'm helping a woman today. Her live-in partner is possibly cheating and I'm supposed to find out more info about it. I don't really know what she wants me to do but I'll find out soon enough.
Anyway, this woman her partner is seeing even had the nerve to message her and ask about the guy's whereabouts. She's was in Canada and planned to visit here and wants to meet him. When the woman I'm supposed to help told her that they're seeing each other and have kids, you know what the home-wrecker said?
"Why should I care about that? You're not MARRIED to him!"
dun dun dun.... Dunno what to think about the whole thing. lol
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squeal like a piggy
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TMV, speaking from experience with my Aries ex.
Both me and my ex kept our profile up because we had a lot of tests saved. We'd even browse people together at times or compare test results.
For me it isn't a red flag by itself.
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Think of it this way tmv...he just checked in and was looking. Whether it's on a pc or some chick walking by..it's not against the law to look.
Don't stir the pot...if he's gonna screw around on her, he'll slip up. People who do that always do. Nothing wrong with taking notes though Winking
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Posted by TMV
A good friend of mine has been seeing a guy that she met online for the last four months or so. He's always appeared very affectionate when they're together, and from what I've seen he's also quite a gentleman. But, being my very Virgo snoopy self, I've been doing some prying to check up on him.
I found his dating profile. And it's still active. He just checked in today.
She thinks they're exclusive...
I don't know if I should say something or not. I don't want to cause problems for them if there's no reason to, but I also don't want to see her get hurt because she's been burned pretty badly in tbe past.
This is seriously upsetting me because I don't know what to think or do. Do you guys think this is a red flag? Or no big deal that I should just let slide?
I know he's a July Cancer with an Aries Moon if tbat helps. I also get very strong Gemini vibes.


Can your profile 'wave hello' to his profile?
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You can't judge anything because he "checked in on his profile". Many of those sites send out e-mails on a daily basis. If you happen to open one, it marks you as "checked in" to the site.
That means nothing. My advice, keep your nosy mouth shut and stay out of her relationship, her business. It'd be different if he were a mass murderer, but if you have nothing concrete, then stay out of it.
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Posted by Damnata
TMV, speaking from experience with my Aries ex.
Both me and my ex kept our profile up because we had a lot of tests saved. We'd even browse people together at times or compare test results.
For me it isn't a red flag by itself.


It's probably still fun to take the tests, and I'm sure that would show you've checked into the site.
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Posted by Damnata
TMV, speaking from experience with my Aries ex.
Both me and my ex kept our profile up because we had a lot of tests saved. We'd even browse people together at times or compare test results.
For me it isn't a red flag by itself.


I was thinking this too. Not a big deal unless you see him talking about getting together with other women, I wouldn't worry about it.
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Say nothing. For one thing, your friend might doubt your motives no matter how pure they are. She might see it as meddling and that you're being jealous instead of looking out for her. For another thing, it's not your place to go snooping on behalf of a friend. Just stay out of it. The best thing you can do is just to be her friend.
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Posted by tiziani
Oh he's a July Cancer? That changes everything. Best tell, then.


LOL STOP IT Leebz Tongue
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Posted by tiziani
Oh he's a July Cancer? That changes everything. Best tell, then.


Well, being a Cancer did get him the benefit of the doubt. If he had been a Libra...
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Anyway, thanks everyone for your responses. It's always good to have outside perspective.
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Posted by TMV
A good friend of mine has been seeing a guy that she met online for the last four months or so. He's always appeared very affectionate when they're together, and from what I've seen he's also quite a gentleman. But, being my very Virgo snoopy self, I've been doing some prying to check up on him.
I found his dating profile. And it's still active. He just checked in today.
She thinks they're exclusive...
I don't know if I should say something or not. I don't want to cause problems for them if there's no reason to, but I also don't want to see her get hurt because she's been burned pretty badly in tbe past.
This is seriously upsetting me because I don't know what to think or do. Do you guys think this is a red flag? Or no big deal that I should just let slide?


I think she needs to have the appropriate conversation with this guy if she hasn't already done so. If they are not exclusive or she is just floating along assuming that they are, then she is setting herself up for a problem. There is no harm in asking her if they've had that convo yet to get a sense of things.
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I agree with everyone who has said to either stay out of it or ask her questions to assess the situation and/or motivate her to look on his page herself. But him checking in does not indicate anything fishy is going on by itself.
Soooo??_.. whatcha' gonna do? Lol.
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Posted by natural25

Soooo??_.. whatcha' gonna do? Lol.


That's a very good question...
The site he's on doesn't have quizzes except for some compatibility test stuff that he hasn't completed. There is a forum with no trace of him on it that I've been able to find, but I suppose that doesn't mean he isn't reading it. He just keeps checking in for a while every hour or two.
No tangible proof as of yet. Just my gut leading on this one.
Whether or not they've had any conversations about exclusivity is a pretty moot point considering the person I'm speaking of. If she finds out she'll be hurt, and cry, and probably swear off men for the umpteenth time.
Or maybe he's smarter and won't get caught so they can continue being happy. Hell, maybe I'm wrong. I pray that I am.
For right now though, the plan is to dodge her like the plague so I don't have to do the guilty dance until I can think of something better. And maybe send him spam bomb just to make myself feel better.
*shrugs*
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SMH. Yea, you are in a bad situation. I know I would feel conflicted if it were my best friend. Hmmmm??_.. This is a toughie if she would get upset even if they are not exclusive??_. Granted, I know no one wants the person they are dating to still be possibly shopping around. But there comes point when being objective comes in handy. If they have not agreed to be exclusive she technically cannot get mad. Disappointed, sure. But not mad at him. Buuuuuut again, if she will not respond in that way, this can be tricky.
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If everyone was rational DXP wouldn't exist like it is and neither would most of the world's problems lol.

*sigh*

I need to quit being friends with emo people.
#robot4ever
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LMAO!!! Trrrruuuueeeee. Whelp, then I guess its settled. You're screwed. Lol. I kid??_ I kid??_ Just give it some time and see how things play out.
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Posted by natural25
Just give it some time and see how things play out.


A big +1 to that.
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