Today's Courting of a Man and Woman
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by MilaniKisses on Saturday, June 3, 2017 and has 18 replies.
Ok so last night i was hanging out with two of my Gay male friends. We were chatting about courtship between a straight couple...
He was persistent on telling me that i need to let 'him' pay for everything. My friend is from the generation before mine (He's 42, I'm 32), so I told him that I felt that its a different time and that women are more independent and that its acceptable for us to pay on a date too.
Am I the only one that thinks its ok for a girl to pay out for a date also? I mean, I make my own money and if I'm interested in someone and want to treat them out for a fun night - isn't that acceptable?
His (the guy I went on a date with) disposition or chivalry didn't change - he still was a total gentleman and opened every door for me, made sure I was in the car first, and did what most gentlemen do.
Your thoughts?
He was persistent on telling me that i need to let 'him' pay for everything. My friend is from the generation before mine (He's 42, I'm 32), so I told him that I felt that its a different time and that women are more independent and that its acceptable for us to pay on a date too.
Am I the only one that thinks its ok for a girl to pay out for a date also? I mean, I make my own money and if I'm interested in someone and want to treat them out for a fun night - isn't that acceptable?
His (the guy I went on a date with) disposition or chivalry didn't change - he still was a total gentleman and opened every door for me, made sure I was in the car first, and did what most gentlemen do.
Your thoughts?
whatever happened to "the person who asks is the person who pays?"
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyYes - It was because I had told him that I was going on a date with a guy and he was trying to 'father' me with advice. I think he was comparing me to his other female friends.... Ones that date a guy for their money and not because they are genuinely interested in them.
Of course it is ok for you to pay if you want to. I don't think many guys would accept it but it is nice for a woman to offer. Also depends on how old the relationship is.
Strange thing for a gay guy to comment on anyway.
Your friend is right. Certain things stay the same.
I wouldn't pay for a date. Unless we're married or seriously committed.
I wouldn't pay for a date. Unless we're married or seriously committed.
Paying your way shows respect for the other person and seems fairer than one person dipping into their wallet all the time
Posted by MyStarsShineYeah, I totally agree with you!
Paying your way shows respect for the other person and seems fairer than one person dipping into their wallet all the time
Posted by MilaniKissesI remember an ex of mine saying that he thought a lot of women were no better than hookers because they just took, took, took from a manPosted by MyStarsShineYeah, I totally agree with you!
Paying your way shows respect for the other person and seems fairer than one person dipping into their wallet all the timeclick to expand
Lol
For me, it is just dignified to show a man i won't let him be my keeper, whatever stage of a relationship i am at
*fiercely independent*
Posted by MyStarsShineYaasss on being independent! And so true on not letting him think he'll be your keeper!Posted by MilaniKissesI remember an ex of mine saying that he thought a lot of women were no better than hookers because they just took, took, took from a manPosted by MyStarsShineYeah, I totally agree with you!
Paying your way shows respect for the other person and seems fairer than one person dipping into their wallet all the time
Lol
For me, it is just dignified to show a man i won't let him be my keeper, whatever stage of a relationship i am at
*fiercely independent*click to expand
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.
I never expect a man to pay for me, nor do I demand it. It is very nice for a man to pay, as it is traditional. But far from expecting it.
Posted by LadyNeptuneHmmm I like this too - But would if you're the one to initiate the plans?
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.
Posted by MilaniKissesThe inviter should pay for the invitee. But if it's early days I can see how the guy would still insist on paying.Posted by LadyNeptuneHmmm I like this too - But would if you're the one to initiate the plans?
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.click to expand
Posted by LadyNeptuneSo in my case I mentioned to him that I wanted to see him and go on a money-free date (Walk on the beach at night) or that we didnt have to do anything but chill. He suggested that we go see a movie.... Should I have paid?Posted by MilaniKissesThe inviter should pay for the invitee. But if it's early days I can see how the guy would still insist on paying.Posted by LadyNeptuneHmmm I like this too - But would if you're the one to initiate the plans?
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.click to expand
Posted by MilaniKissesHow long have you been dating?Posted by LadyNeptuneSo in my case I mentioned to him that I wanted to see him and go on a money-free date (Walk on the beach at night) or that we didnt have to do anything but chill. He suggested that we go see a movie.... Should I have paid?Posted by MilaniKissesThe inviter should pay for the invitee. But if it's early days I can see how the guy would still insist on paying.Posted by LadyNeptuneHmmm I like this too - But would if you're the one to initiate the plans?
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.click to expand
Do whatever feels right to you. If it's me and he offers to pay then I let him.
Nothing in this world is free
If I pay for everything I'm going to expect
Everythinh in return
If I pay for everything I'm going to expect
Everythinh in return
Posted by LadyNeptuneOh we're not official or anything yet. However, this was our 3rd date.Posted by MilaniKissesHow long have you been dating?Posted by LadyNeptuneSo in my case I mentioned to him that I wanted to see him and go on a money-free date (Walk on the beach at night) or that we didnt have to do anything but chill. He suggested that we go see a movie.... Should I have paid?Posted by MilaniKissesThe inviter should pay for the invitee. But if it's early days I can see how the guy would still insist on paying.Posted by LadyNeptuneHmmm I like this too - But would if you're the one to initiate the plans?
It's nice to let the guy pursue you at the beginning. Let him pay.
But make it 50/50 once your together together. Or if he goes to the bathroom sneakily pay the bill before he gets back.
Do whatever feels right to you. If it's me and he offers to pay then I let him.click to expand
I think it's always best to at least offer to pay. Most of the time in my experience, the guy won't let you but offering shows that you aren't just there for a free meal and you are genuinely interested in him.
I paid for the first date my husband and I ever went on. Obviously before we were married.
He lost a bet, but burned his mouth in the process. Out of remorse, I promised to pay for dinner. I think we split the movie tickets... or did I pay for those cause he hurt his back that night??? I forget... My parents weren't to happy with this at the time.
After that, he paid, then I paid. We knew we'd end up together.
I'm kind of old fashioned and would still expect for the man to pay, initially. But I'd bring my own money and would offer to pay for something afterwords. Coffee, or another drink or something.
He lost a bet, but burned his mouth in the process. Out of remorse, I promised to pay for dinner. I think we split the movie tickets... or did I pay for those cause he hurt his back that night??? I forget... My parents weren't to happy with this at the time.
After that, he paid, then I paid. We knew we'd end up together.
I'm kind of old fashioned and would still expect for the man to pay, initially. But I'd bring my own money and would offer to pay for something afterwords. Coffee, or another drink or something.
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