Virgo man not ready to date

Posted by annagemini
I told him I liked him but he stopped me right there saying he doesn't want a long distance thing (we are an hour flight away... His ex was in another country) and that his last relationship ended a few months back, things are a bit shaky and he wants to focus on himself.
told him I wanted to give us a real shot (3.5 months after we met now) and he said it was all really sweet and touching but he was still pretty much in the same place...
My virgo told me he wants to focus on his career this year and it would be unfair to me if I were to wait for him, he wouldn't want to be with anyone right now due to lack of time..
Are virgos usually like that and if they like you and like having friends with benefits thing with you, would they consider you as a girlfriend when they want one?

Posted by annagemini
WaterCup, because when women are in love it clouds our judgement.
LetitB & truecap i know it is a FWB and we've become really good friends. I stayed over at his place a few times now, i've met his roommate, his roommate's family when they were staying over, we all hung out together. He shares things with me and it's not just sex, it's definitely a friendship. He told me it was really sweet that i shared my feelings and he appreciates it, but right now he doesn't want anything. I don't mind keeping the same until i meet someone else, if i will. He told me he isn't ready and I am not pushing it. I'm only human and his behavior towards me really changed, he appreciated my presence a lot more.
He knows i'm a decent kind of girl and not just someone who puts out. I have a decent job, i don't go out, i was cooking for him a lot, helping him cleaning the place and generally was there for him.
All i'm asking right now is - is it worth a shot that he will change his mind in future once he had some time to himself a got over his last relationship. All i want is hope if there is one.
Thank you

Posted by annagemini
WaterCup, because when women are in love it clouds our judgement.
LetitB & truecap i know it is a FWB and we've become really good friends. I stayed over at his place a few times now, i've met his roommate, his roommate's family when they were staying over, we all hung out together. He shares things with me and it's not just sex, it's definitely a friendship. He told me it was really sweet that i shared my feelings and he appreciates it, but right now he doesn't want anything. I don't mind keeping the same until i meet someone else, if i will. He told me he isn't ready and I am not pushing it. I'm only human and his behavior towards me really changed, he appreciated my presence a lot more.
He knows i'm a decent kind of girl and not just someone who puts out. I have a decent job, i don't go out, i was cooking for him a lot, helping him cleaning the place and generally was there for him.
All i'm asking right now is - is it worth a shot that he will change his mind in future once he had some time to himself a got over his last relationship. All i want is hope if there is one.
Thank you

Posted by annagemini
I was feeling kinda needy (bad bad bad!!!!)

Posted by annagemini
WaterCup, ok, apologies - this is how i act when i'm in love and how love clouds my judgement. I am trying to grow and understand what to do about certain situations. Right now this is breaking my heart and i am trying to sort this situation out. I'm not asking for future, just trying to understand.
I can perfectly tell he is not ready right now, but as i said i can tell his feelings for me have changed and he became more interested. I KNOW i have pushed or even talked about it too soon, i messed up and he will keep his distance now. Yes, i make excuses, because i want this to work.
I was hoping to get some advise on the virgo's personality and find out whether their decisions can be affected if they grow feelings for you or they will always be stubborn once they made a decision, not judgement on how blind I am. Sorry i'f not being too clear on what I'm asking.
gemeliorist, fair point! to be honest though, i did much better with this one and still kept my cool as much as i could and left it on a good note. We are still where we used to be and maybe this is another chance for me, maybe another lesson

Posted by WaterCup

Posted by annagemini
WaterCup, ok, apologies - this is how i act when i'm in love and how love clouds my judgement. I am trying to grow and understand what to do about certain situations. Right now this is breaking my heart and i am trying to sort this situation out. I'm not asking for future, just trying to understand.
I can perfectly tell he is not ready right now, but as i said i can tell his feelings for me have changed and he became more interested. I KNOW i have pushed or even talked about it too soon, i messed up and he will keep his distance now. Yes, i make excuses, because i want this to work.
I was hoping to get some advise on the virgo's personality and find out whether their decisions can be affected if they grow feelings for you or they will always be stubborn once they made a decision, not judgement on how blind I am. Sorry i'f not being too clear on what I'm asking.
gemeliorist, fair point! to be honest though, i did much better with this one and still kept my cool as much as i could and left it on a good note. We are still where we used to be and maybe this is another chance for me, maybe another lesson

Girl, I dont know you, but I just dont want you to get hurt. Just THINK things through & maybe listen to him a bit. He is telling you everything that most girls that have been played wish they have been told. You're lucky This guy is a gentleman, not a douche whose aim is to put you on a string & then drop you the moment he finds Ms Right. If its meant to be it'll be so quit worrying.

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Posted by annagemini

LetitB & truecap i know it is a FWB and we've become really good friends.
He knows i'm a decent kind of girl and not just someone who puts out. I have a decent job, i don't go out, i was cooking for him a lot, helping him cleaning the place and generally was there for him.
All i'm asking right now is - is it worth a shot that he will change his mind in future once he had some time to himself a got over his last relationship. All i want is hope if there is one.
Thank you

Posted by VirgoFlirt
I never get where people say that they never have options. That such BS! You do!.
You should ask him.... if he is willing to have a relationship with you if you move to where he lives. If he says yes then you had better back up those words or you'll be history.
You want him? Do the above. If his answer is no then move on.

Posted by annagemini
.... but if i don't give it a shot i may miss a chance to get the greatest guy i've met so far.

Posted by annagemini
LetitB & truecap i know it is a FWB and we've become really good friends. I stayed over at his place a few times now, i've met his roommate, his roommate's family when they were staying over, we all hung out together. He shares things with me and it's not just sex, it's definitely a friendship. He told me it was really sweet that i shared my feelings and he appreciates it, but right now he doesn't want anything. I don't mind keeping the same until i meet someone else, if i will. He told me he isn't ready and I am not pushing it. I'm only human and his behavior towards me really changed, he appreciated my presence a lot more.

Posted by VirgoFlirt

Posted by annagemini

So it's not like I have other options right now, but I wonder if I do give it a go and keep seeing him, spending time with him - not pressuring him into anything - will he actually be ready later? Are virgos usually like that and if they like you and like having friends with benefits thing with you, would they consider you as a girlfriend when they want one? I don't want him to brush me off just because I live in another city and his past relationship was too hard. He did say things like "I've only been single for a bit and now stomped with the new job" and "you should understand it's all still fresh" when I said if one long distance thing didn't work out doesn't mean ours wouldn't.

I never get where people say that they never have options. That such BS! You do!.
You should ask him.... if he is willing to have a relationship with you if you move to where he lives. If he says yes then you had better back up those words or you'll be history.
You want him? Do the above. If his answer is no then move on.

click to expand

Posted by LetltB

Posted by VirgoFlirt
I never get where people say that they never have options. That such BS! You do!.
You should ask him.... if he is willing to have a relationship with you if you move to where he lives. If he says yes then you had better back up those words or you'll be history.
You want him? Do the above. If his answer is no then move on.

He made it very clear where he stands..she's just not listening.

click to expand

Posted by truecap

Posted by LetltB

Posted by VirgoFlirt
I never get where people say that they never have options. That such BS! You do!.
You should ask him.... if he is willing to have a relationship with you if you move to where he lives. If he says yes then you had better back up those words or you'll be history.
You want him? Do the above. If his answer is no then move on.

He made it very clear where he stands..she's just not listening.

OP is adamant she wants to give it a shot. VirgoFlirt is right, this is her only option if she goes that route.

click to expand

Posted by annagemini
I will still hope it grows into something in time. I did push too quickly and i regret it. I know virgo's take time. If i will move on to someone else - great, if not, what are the tips for me after all this to try and get him to come around?

Posted by VirgoFlirt

Posted by annagemini

So it's not like I have other options right now, but I wonder if I do give it a go and keep seeing him, spending time with him - not pressuring him into anything - will he actually be ready later? Are virgos usually like that and if they like you and like having friends with benefits thing with you, would they consider you as a girlfriend when they want one? I don't want him to brush me off just because I live in another city and his past relationship was too hard. He did say things like "I've only been single for a bit and now stomped with the new job" and "you should understand it's all still fresh" when I said if one long distance thing didn't work out doesn't mean ours wouldn't.

I never get where people say that they never have options. That such BS! You do!.
You should ask him.... if he is willing to have a relationship with you if you move to where he lives. If he says yes then you had better back up those words or you'll be history.
You want him? Do the above. If his answer is no then move on.

click to expand

Posted by annagemini
Thank you everyone for your opinions and advises.
I will not put my life on hold, i will see other people when i'm ready (the dating scene sucks since i came out of my previous relationship), but unless i get into anything serious I intend on seeing my virgo, casually for fun, since that's all he wants now anyway.
I will still hope it grows into something in time. I did push too quickly and i regret it. I know virgo's take time. If i will move on to someone else - great, if not, what are the tips for me after all this to try and get him to come around?